Chapter 6: And My Box
Mailpony Rules
Chapter 6
"Iiiiiiii'm gonna getcha!" Tempest Rider playfully rumbled, dropping into a crouch.
"Nuh-uh!" giggled Dinky, hopping to the other side of the coffee table.
"Gonna catch ya!"
"Nope!"
Tempest, feeling much more awake than he had for the past three days, slunk around the edge of the table, trying to get at Dinky. Squealing, the filly bounded away in the opposite direction. Tempest, smiling mischievously, slowly pulled himself forward, belly on the ground and rump in the air, looking for all the world like a cat about to pounce.
Chasing Dinky around was quickly proving to be a source of great entertainment (and bruises) for Tempest. The little unicorn was fast, agile, and Tempest swore she teleported when he wasn't looking. Always up for a challenge, the pegasus had taken to playing with Dinky like a cat with a ball of yarn, much to her delight.
Leaping forward to cut off a potential escape route, Tempest managed to back Dinky into a corner. Smirking confidently in his victory, he sat down on his haunches and looked at her.
"Well, my slippery little friend," he said, twirling an imaginary mustache, "It seems that you are..." He laughed manically for effect. "Cornered!"
"Booooooo!" Dinky catcalled, sticking out her tongue.
Ignoring her, Tempest crouched low. Dinky saw his haunches tense, preparing to leap, and backed up slightly. Quickly, he sprang forward, using his wings for extra propulsion. As he landed, however, a look of surprise crossed his face as he was met with nothing more than a face-full of rug.
Dinky, with her gift of foresight, had jumped upwards the moment before Tempest had launched himself. Landing on his head, she had used it as a springboard to catapult herself over the airborne stallion. Currently, she was standing a few feet back, giggling as Tempest picked himself up off the floor.
"Clever girl," he growled, spitting out a bit of carpet fuzz, "But how long will your luck last?"
"Until you give up!" the filly squeaked.
With that, Dinky dashed off in the other direction before Tempest could turn around. Sliding around the corner, she immediately skidded to a stop, eyes wide at what she saw. Tempest, not far behind, powered around the corner after her. Unfortunately for him, he could not stop as suddenly as Dinky, and ended up slamming his chin on the ground in his attempt to cancel his momentum.
Before them was Ditzy, with a raised eyebrow of suspicion adorning her face. "What are you two up to?" she asked.
"Nothing," the pair answered in unison, not meeting the eye that was looking at them.
"Awful lot of noise for 'nothing,' don't you think?" she calmly accused, trying to hide a small grin.
Instead of answering, the two ponies just glanced around nervously. Suddenly, Dinky bolted upright and pointed a hoof at Tempest.
"It was his idea!" she cried, before galloping away.
Looking back over his shoulder, Tempest yelled, "You little liar! You started it!" Looking back at Ditzy, he added, "She did, you know."
Ditzy, greatly amused, was chuckling into her hoof. She could get used to mornings like this.
~~~
"Package duty?"
The brown stallion grunted an affirmative, not looking up from his clipboard. "Both of ya. Two of the usuals are apparently 'sick'." He spoke the last word with a tremendous amount of doubt. "And you two are fillin' in for them."
Tempest, accepting of his new fate, nodded in understanding. Ditzy, by contrast, was looking nervous, no doubt remembering how disastrous her last attempt at package duty had been.
Either by virtue of empathy or mind-reading, Boss was aware of how Ditzy was feeling. Setting down his clipboard, he looked into her askew eyes. "Just be careful this time, Ditzy," he assuaged, "And everything will go fine."
Hesitantly, Ditzy nodded. "Yes, sir."
"Good," he said, looking back at his clipboard. "Truck's in the back. Get flappin'."
A few minutes later, both gray pegasi were flying alongside a pony-driven flying truck. While the navigator directed the two pullers to their destination, Ditzy and Tempest followed closely behind. Since they were there to do heavy lifting, they didn't have anything to do until they reached their goal.
Trying to pass the time, Ditzy struck up a conversation. "Thanks for playing with Dinky, by the way," she told him. "She really enjoys it."
"So do I," Tempest replied, smiling fondly. "It's really fun. I swear though, it's like trying to catch a dragonfly using your back hooves."
Ditzy chuckled at the analogy. "Imagine trying to get her dressed for a school play."
Tempest's pupils immediately dilated. "I'd rather not."
"Really, though," the mare continued, "I do appreciate it. The last time she had somepony so willing to play with her was when my cousin Moddy stayed with us for a week."
"Moddy?" the stallion questioned, looking at her funny. "Moddy Doo?"
"Yes, that's right," she replied, raising an eyebrow. "He lives way over on the Isle of Pony. Why?"
"I think I delivered a package to him once."
Ditzy looked surprised. "Really?"
"Yeah. Big black fella, right? Looks like he hasn't seen a pair of shears in his life?"
"That sounds like Moddy, alright," she confirmed, amused at his description. "I don't think he's gotten trimmed since he moved out."
"Hey, guys!" a voice called from the front. "We're here! Time to get unloading!"
"Got it!" Tempest yelled back, opening the door in the back.
Before Ditzy could follow, he emerged carrying a large cardboard box. Taller than it was long, it likely contained something akin to a cabinet. Something likely to be heavy. Ditzy blinked. That should take both of them to carry..
"Erm," she hesitated, "Tempest?"
"Yeah?" he nonchalantly replied, slowly lowering himself to the ground.
"Isn't that heavy?"
"Not really, no. Why?"
Ditzy scratched the back of her head. "Because we are both supposed to be carrying it."
"...Oh."
Flapping over, Ditzy took the other end of the box and began helping Tempest bring it down. With both of them, the decent was much smoother and more controlled. Ditzy, however, was still astounded at how well Tempest had been doing before. He must be very strong.
Over at the doorway, the navigator, a pegasus named Sine Heer, was watching as the package recipient signed the delivery confirmation form. Peering back over his shoulder, he noticed that Ditzy and that new guy, Tempest, were getting close.
"Hey," Sine asked, turning back towards the pony signing the form, "Where do you want the box?"
"Oh, just put it down anywhere," he distractedly replied, waving his hoof. "I'll take care of it."
"Got it." Turning around, he shouted at the heavy lifters. "Set her down anywhere, you two!"
With an audible thud, the pegasi dropped the box on the ground slightly to the side of the walkway. Ditzy, freshly unburdened, immediately started rubbing her back. Flying and lifting things simultaneously always did a number on her muscles, particularly the ones between her wings. Sighing as she felt her spine pop, she flew back up to the level of the truck, Tempest close behind. Silently, they waited for Sine to return so they could repeat the process at the next house.
~~~
"Aaaaaand, done!" the mare said, handing Sine back the piece of paper. Tucking it away in his satchel, the stallion stepped to the side and allowed Ditzy to hand the mare her package.
"Thank you, ma'am," he said, dipping his head slightly. "Have a good day."
"You too! Bye!" With that, the mare, now one parcel richer, closed the door, eager to free her new possession from its paper prison.
Flapping back up to the delivery truck, Sine took out another paper (he was very fond of documents) and crossed off the name on the very bottom. Nodding in satisfaction, he called out to the crew.
"Alright, fellas, we're done for the day! Take her home!"
"Wait!" a voice cried from inside the van. Tempest. "There's one more!"
"No way," Sine whispered doubtfully, flying towards the back door. "That was the last package on my list."
Once inside, Sine immediately spotted Tempest sitting at the end of the container. Squatting right next to him, apathetic to Sine's insistence on its nonexistence, was another cardboard box, sealed and in pristine condition. Huffing in annoyance, Sine stomped over to it, staring the cube down as if he could intimidate it into ceasing to be.
"See?" Tempest pointed out, unaware of the battle of wills taking place between pony and dried tree pulp.
"Yes, I do," Sine curtly replied. Resigned to the box's corporeality, he peered at the shipping address to see whom the box was to be delivered. At first, the label looked blank. After a second, he realized that it was blank.
No shipping address? he thought, scratching his head. On a whim, Sine picked up the box. It felt light. Too light. Shaking the box from side to side, the stallion was met with neither sound nor sensation of shifting weight.
"Dumb thing's empty," he grumbled, tossing the box back on the floor. "Stupid interns; ruined a perfectly good box! Boss is going to hear about this."
Tempest, by virtue of having ears, had heard Sine's irritated mumbles. Wondering how somepony could accidentally label, seal and load an empty box like that, he looked over at the cardboard interloper. It wasn't exactly a small box, after all. It was at least the size of a small child, and that's not exactly something you would misplace.
Hmmm, small child... Tempest thought, an idea already half-forming in his head. Darting out the back, Tempest caught up to Sine and tapped his shoulder.
"Hey, Sine," he began as the stallion looked at him impatiently, "Can I keep that box?"
Sine looked at him questioningly. After a moment of thought, he replied. "I suppose so. We can't reuse it now that it has the stickers and seals on it, so we'd probably just throw it away anyways. Go ahead and take it."
"Thanks, guy." thanked Tempest, turning back to grab his loot.
"If you don't mind me asking," Sine added, mild curiosity getting the better of him, "Why do you want it? What are you going to use it for?"
Tempest grinned. "I have an idea."
~~~
Sitting in the center of the parlour, Dinky was practicing her magic. Currently, she was trying to levitate a ball and a hoop at the same time, and make the ball pass through the hoop. It was a standard test of skill for young unicorns, teaching both multitasking and precision, two vital skills for manipulating the magical energies of the universe. Dinky, however, was having absolutely no trouble getting the ball through it's little metal goal; she had long since mastered levitating two things at the same time. For her, the main problem in this exercise was keeping the tools from bursting into flames.
Hearing a sudden knock at the door, Dinky jumped and dropped the spell, causing the little metal sphere and its partner ring to drop to the ground with a muffled clink. She quickly stomped out the small fire she had accidentally created, scorch mark blending in with the many similar patches on the rug, and cantered over to the door. Hopping up to the level of the window, she managed to see her mom and Tempest standing on the doorstep.
Enthusiastically, she unlocked the door. As soon as the two adults entered, the filly immediately tackle-hugged her mother, sending her staggering back half a pace at the surprise impact.
"Hi, mom!" she greeted happily. Before Ditzy could react, Dinky dropped to the floor and gave Tempest the same treatment. "Hi, Mistah Tempest!"
"Hello, Dinky," returned Tempest, looking down at the filly attached to his neck.
Ditzy chuckled quietly into her hoof. "Hello to you too, Muffin," she said, nosing her daughter's side. "Now let go; you don't want to choke him."
"'Kay," Dinky complied, releasing Tempest from her death grip.
"I'm going to go make some sandwiches," the mare added, heading towards the kitchen. "You two behave."
As her mother trotted off to make snacks, Dinky turned back to Tempest. For the first time since he came in the door, she noticed an object on his back. Cocking her head to the side, she tried to get a better glimpse of his mystery burden. Failing that, she looked up at him with a question in her big golden eyes.
"What's that?"
Grinning mischievously, Tempest flipped the box over his head and onto the floor in front of him. "Oh, just a box."
"What's in it?" Dinky asked, stepping forward.
"Why don't you look inside and find out?" he countered, popping the top of the box open with the ease of long practice.
With unusual caution, Dinky placed her front legs on the rim of the box. Peering in, her expression turned to confusion. "It's empty!"
"Oh, really?" Tempest questioned, voice like silk. "I'm pretty sure there's something in there. You just have to look closer."
In an attempt to get a better view, Dinky pulled herself up farther, back hooves leaving the ground. Despite her new height advantage, she still failed to see anything of interest in the cardboard vessel. "I still don't see anything," she pouted. "What's supposed to be in here?"
Unannounced to Dinky, Tempest had been slowly creeping closer. Smiling evilly, he whispered.
"Oh, just... a little filly!"
With that, Tempest knocked the box backwards, sending it and Dinky tumbling, the latter emitting a high-pitched 'eep!' of surprise. Thanks to Tempest's supreme mastery of the subtle art of box-tipping, Dinky landed on her rump just moments before the open ended side of the box came falling down on her, trapping her inside a brown corrugated prison.
Tempest was now laughing raucously to himself, finding his simple-yet-effective prank intensely humorous. Suddenly, he heard a strange noise, causing him to look up from his reverie. Glancing around for the source of the disturbance, his eyes caught movement in the form of the recently-filled box being nudged across the floor. This time, eyes on it, he managed to catch the experimental scoot of the cube as its occupant hesitantly pushed it from the inside. A few seconds later, a similar motion occurred, but in the opposite direction. After this second push, the box abruptly began sliding around the floor rapidly in wide, excited circles. Tempest, watching this with some sense of curiosity, was just starting to get dizzy when the box scraped to a halt.
"THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER!" a loud, but muffled voice called from beneath the brown container, before resuming it's frantic laps around the room.
Not long afterwards, Ditzy came back into the parlour, carrying a tray of several freshly-made sandwiches. What she saw, however, made her pause mid-stride. On the couch sat Tempest, grinning hugely and watching what appeared to be a living cardboard box scurry around on the floor. Said box was scampering in large circles, going dangerously fast and occasionally emitting a fillyish giggle of happiness.
Deciding to continue on with her original path of travel, Ditzy heading towards the sofa. Setting down the tray on the coffee table, she looked at Tempest with an eyebrow raised and a question in one eye, the other watching the rampaging package circle around on her floor.
Noticing her for the first time since she entered the room, Tempest saw her unasked inquiry. "This is hilarious," he chuckled, motioning towards the upside-down box. "She's been going at it for a solid two minutes."
"I assume my daughter is under there?"
Tempest nodded, and scooted over to give the mare some room to sit down. Accepting his invitation, Ditzy set herself down on the sofa, and turned to watch the Dinky-in-a-box scurry around the room. Taking one of the three sandwiches on the plate, she handed another to Tempest, who took it with a quiet 'thanks.'
Eventually, however, even Dinky's seemingly inexhaustible reserves of energy apparently ran dry, and the box slid to a quiet stop. Taking this as her cue, Ditzy took the plate with the remaining sandwich on it and set it on the floor in front of the now-still cardboard cube.
Hearing the clink of plate on floor, a small purplish snout peeked out from under the rim of the box, just enough to let the occupant see outside her corrugated domain. Upon seeing the snack placed not a foot away, the muzzle immediately withdrew. All was still for a moment, but suddenly the container leaped into the air in a predator-like fashion, coming down neatly over the food with a quiet thump. Immediately, animalistic sounds of feeding began emitting from beneath the cardboard cloak.
"Erm, Dinky," Ditzy started, concern etched on her brown, "Don't you want to, you know, come out of there to eat?"
"THERE IS NO DINKY!" came a booming yet squeaky voice. "I AM PYXIS, GODDESS OF THE BOX! ALL THAT IS SQUARE AND CARDBOARD IS MY DOMAIN! TREMBLE, MORTALS! TREMBLE!"
~~~
Abruptly, Celestia jolted up from her studies. Looking around, her brow furrowed in concern as she tried to identify what just startled her.
"Something wrong, 'Tia?" asked Luna, sitting on the other side of the library table. She had noticed her sister jump, and knew her well enough to see when she was agitated.
The Sun Goddess just shook her head, her ever-flowing mane quivering just slightly at the disturbance in its imaginary breeze. "I swear I just felt someone challenging our rule."
Luna just rolled her eyes. "Honestly, 'Tia," she admonished, "That's the third time this month you've said that. It's probably just all that spicy food you ate."
Celestia licked her lips fondly at the memory of tonight's dinner. "Hey, say what you want about Guongxian food, but they have the best flaming rice I've tasted in millennia."
~~~
"Come on, Dinky, it's time for bed," Ditzy pleaded, tapping the box with a hoof.
"NEVER!" the box shouted back, backing up a pace from the contact. "PYXIS REFUSES TO PARLEY WITH DISSENTERS!"
Ditzy pinched the bridge of her nose. "Dinky, it's been four hours. It's time to come out from under the box."
"PYXIS IS ETERNAL!"
Tempest, who had been watching (and laughing) on the sidelines as Ditzy argued with her 'imaginative' daughter, decided it was time to intervene. Trotting up to the box, he tapped it's top, causing it to flinch away again.
"Pyxis," he humored, "I think it's best that you go to bed now.
"...Why should we trust you?" the pseudo-goddess asked warily.
"Because you're out-ponied and out-gunned," he replied, thinking fast. "General Doo has you surrounded. I suggest a tactical compromise. Perhaps, in the future, you can gather your forces and lead an uprising and overthrow her. Continued resistance now, however, will only result in complete destruction."
The box was silent for a moment. Quicker than he could blink, the box lifted and Tempest found himself with a filly on his back, clinging tightly to his mane.
"Fine," she grumbled, going from megalomaniac to sweet little filly in an instant. "But you have to carry me."
Surprised by the turn of events, the stallion was nonetheless quick to react. "Fair enough," he agreed. "Come on."
As the two walked away, Ditzy just stared, cross-eyed and shocked. After a full few seconds, she managed to recover enough to remember the basic motor functions that allowed her to follow.
By the time the mare caught up, Dinky was already climbing off Tempest's back into her bed. Quickly trotting over to her side, Ditzy nuzzled her daughter, earning a huge yawn from the suddenly-exhausted filly.
"Good night, Muffin," cooed Ditzy, pulling the covers up to the unicorn's chest.
"G'night, mom," the filly answered tiredly. Turning over, she looked at Tempest expectantly.
Tempest, slightly surprised, realized what she was asking. Bending down, Tempest also nuzzled her head. "Good night, pipsqueak."
"'Night," Dinky yawned again, before rolling over and promptly falling asleep, leaving the two adults to tiptoe their way out of the room.
Before they left, both ponies turned around and looked at the sleeping filly. Snoring gently, there was no evidence of the shouting, vengeful goddess that had been present a few minutes prior.
"That was a very clever way to get her to go to bed," Ditzy whispered.
"I know," Tempest replied smugly.
"...If she grows up to be a war-leader, I'm blaming you."
"Fair enough."
~~~
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Alternative titles include: "Bugger all happens but Dinky playing in a box is cute so that's fine"
and
"Skipping the entire week Tempest stays felt like a cop-out so I wrote this"
By my standards, this is a fairly quick update! Maybe I'll be able to release two chapters this month!
... and there goes my sense of accomplishment.
dinky in a box. THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER!
All Hail PYXIS!
It's official. Dinky is best pony.
That's so cute!
Good chapter. Nice and sweet.
Maximum dawww levels reached!
Seriously, I love this story. It's so underrated. The fic as great character interaction, romantic tension, heartwarming moments and a fantastic sense of humor. I mean it's so well written , the dialogue is sharp and witty and your OC is very likeable. My only compliant is that I wish the fic's cover image was as amazing as the fic itself.
I also loved the Jurassic Park reference.
Peace Out.
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I know. Any suggestions? I'm a terrible artist and I'm too paranoid to take stuff from anywhere without asking. I mostly just put that up because that little blank spot was staring at me in disdain and I felt it was better to have something recognizable there so people looking for the story don't just skip over it because they missed the title.
BOXES FOR THE BOX GOD
CARDBOARD FOR THE CARDBOARD THRONE
SANDWICHES ARE THE COIN OF PYXIS' REALM, AND DITZY IS THE PAYMASTER
OTHER SHOUTED LITANIES REGARDING CUTE PONIES HIDING IN BOXES
AAAAAAAA SO CUTE
ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE BECAUSE I CAN'T CONVEY MY ENJOYMENT ANY OTHER WAY
At first, I thought Dinky was imitating Solid Snake. However, it quickly became apparent that being a master of stealth and assassination was not enough for possibly the most adorable background character in existence. All Hail Pyxis the Eternal; may Her mastery of all things Cardboard and Three-Dimensional last forever.
I'm also going to agree with thewaffler's comment; this is easily the most heart-warming story on my tracking list. Adorable characters, great comedic elements, and a sweet and simple plot that just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy when I'm reading it. Brilliant job thus far; can't wait for the next chapter.
As for finding a new title image, I'd recommend just checking out EQ Daily's Drawfriends every day. It might take a while, but odds are you'll eventually find something that works for your story.
Brace yourself, Dinky in a box meme is coming... (i hope )
celestia won't like the flaming rice once nature calls hahahah
New image by Artistic Derp, who is very kind and likes dancing turtles.
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That would make me feel very powerful.
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I think being the goddess of the sun, the hottest thing in Equestria, might grant some immunity to the aftereffects of spicy food.
dr-j33.deviantart.com/#/d3hqual
:D
Link-> http://dr-j33.deviantart.com/#/d3hqual
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fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2011/151/e/c/derpy_dinky_shipping_by_tranquilmind-d3hqual.png
Pyrotechnic tendencies, tactical prodigy, delusions of godhood...
Really, Ditzy, it's not going to be a stallion humoring her that's going to push your daughter to a life as a warlord. She seems born for it. In our tongue, she is Dinkahkin, Boxborn! FUS RO DERP!
...Oh dear. I'm sorry, I appear to have crossed the memes.
I just read the description for the first time since I wrote it. If shame were currency, I would be able to see Bill Gates through a glass-bottomed boat.
Please, if I ever write something that English-shamingly bad again, feel free to hit me. Hit me with something sharp.
Also, new chapter should be up before the new year. Hopefully.
Scratch that; dentist trip made me lose a day and my momentum. Good news, though: it decided to be a long chapter!
Loved this chapter: dinky is just too dang adorable.
Also since I'm pretty sure no one got this joke:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moddey_Dhoo