Mailpony Rules

by Pyromanecer

Chapter 3: Cubic

Mailpony Rules

Chapter 3:

By Pyromanecer

Dinky, as usual, was vibrating with energy. Nothing particularly exciting had happened at school today, but Dinky was brimming with an eagerness she couldn’t and didn’t even try to explain. She was bouncing down the cobblestone path that lead to and from the school, heading towards the spot where her mom picks her up. Lost in the flood of students as they all rushed home, no one noticed that Dinky looked particularly chipper today.

Dimly hearing Cherilee call out to the horde to remember their homework, she continued on to the lamp post where she would meet her mother, doing a fairly good impression of Ponyville’s Party Pony. As she neared her destination, though, she was greeted by the sight of another pegasus standing next to her mother. Dinky was momentarily confused before she saw the bandages on his head and leg, and recognized him as the pony that her mother had found yesterday. At that, Dinky’s grin grew even wider. She liked the strange stallion; he was really good at Monopony. Most ponies fainted after a few minutes with her rules!

“Hi, Mama! Hi Mr. Other Mailpony!” she called as she bounded over. She skidded to a halt in front of the pair. Ditzy smiled at her warmly, while Tempest wore an amused grin at the name she had given him.

“Hello, Muffin.” Ditzy said, greeting her daughter with a nuzzle and causing Dinky to giggle. “How was school?”

“Well, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were making fun of Applebloom again. But when Diamond tried to walk away, she tripped and fell in a bush! Miss Cherilee had to send her home because she was crying about the burrs in her hair!” Somehow the filly’s smile got even wider. “And we learned about rocks!”

Ditzy laughed at that. “Very nice, Dinky. Are you ready to go home?” she asked.

“Uh-huh!”

“Well, hop on then.” the mare told her, before turning around.

As Dinky clambered onto her back, Tempest Rider looked at Ditzy with an expression somewhere between astonishment and confusion. While it was completely normal for pegasus foals to cling to their mother’s backs before they could fly, Tempest didn’t think Ditzy would be doing it with her unicorn daughter. Ditzy noticed his expression, and walked towards him

“Don’t worry, we’ve done this before.” the mare whispered as she passed. With a flap of her wings, she was in the air, daughter squealing in delight on her back. Worries not entirely assuaged, Tempest flew after them, staying close behind to catch Dinky if she fell.

~~~

A short while later, Tempest’s precautions proved unnecessary. Dinky was riding on her mother’s back like a champion. Her forehooves were in the air, and her mane and lips flapped in the wind. She was obviously having a blast.

Giggling, Dinky looked around at the skyline. She always relished a chance to fly with her mom. Even though she was a unicorn, she still had pegasus blood in her, and with that came a love of flight. Given that she had no wings of her own, this was the only way for her to scratch that particular itch.

Shaking her head and closing her mouth, Dinky turned her gaze groundward. As she watched the ponies below milling about like ants, she spotted a particularly large group resting in a large grassy field. It looked like the gathering consisted mainly of families and their young, who were frolicking about and playing in various brightly-colored pieces of playground equipment. Dinky recognized this place.

“Mom!” she shouted over the wind, “Can we go to the park?”

Ditzy thought about it as she flew. Since flying around and being distracted are generally not good combinations, she reached a conclusion quickly. “Maybe tomorrow, Muffin.” she replied, “We’re busy today.”

“Promise?”

The mare smiled. “Promise.”

“Busy doing what?” Tempest Rider asked, flying up alongside the pair. Apparently he was convinced that Dinky was safe on her mother’s back and not about to plummet onto some poor pony’s head.

“Well, we are going to go the the market later.” Ditzy told him, raising an eyebrow, “You, on the other hand, are going to be resting. Like you should have been doing.”

“Aw, come on.”

No; you’re lucky I let you deliver that package in the first place.”

Wearing an expression Ditzy would expect to see on Dinky, Tempest looked like he was about to argue. Ditzy responded by increasing her speed. The stallion huffed, and attempted to catch up.

~~~

By the time the three were beside each other again, Ditzy and Dinky were standing at their front door. Slightly out of breath, Tempest touched down next to them.

Alright, maybe I do need rest. he thought.

Almost as if Ditzy could read his mind, she turned around and looked at his tired form with an ‘I told you so’ look. Sticking his tongue out, Tempest gave her a ‘Shut up’ look.

As they walking inside, Dinky hopped off of her mother’s back. He mane was wind-ruffled and dirty from the flight home. Ditzy noticed this and told her to go clean herself up.

“A’kay,” the filly replied, “But then we get to go shopping, right?”

“Right, Muffin.”

As Dinky skipped off to the bathroom, Ditzy turned back to Tempest, one eye on him and the other taking a strong interest in the empty fireplace.

“So,” she asked, looking for a conversation topic, “How much did that strange wig-maker give you anyways?”

“Oh yeah!” the stallion said, “I forgot about that. Hold on.” Taking off his bags and setting them on the ground, Tempest began to rifle through them. Since the small cloth purse was the only thing in them, however, rifling didn’t take too long. “Found it!”

Ditzy watched as he dropped the little bag on the table, and raised her eyebrows at the solid thwack it made. As Tempest undid the neat little bow at the top, the mare decided that her suspicions were correct, and that Wigg Haarson did in fact sell outside of Ponyville. There was no way he could afford to give away that much if his only business was from Nightmare Night costumes and the deep pockets of colts who had too much to drink and a high opinion of their own humor.

Bag open, Tempest Rider looked down into his strangely-gotten earnings. His eyes widened, and Ditzy craned her neck to try and see. Slowly looking back up, he turned to Ditzy, who quickly tried to look casual.

“Back on the topic of rent,” the stallion slowly said, “Does twenty bits a day sound fair?”

It was very fair. “Fifteen.” Ditzy haggled.

“Twenty it is.” Tempest said, as he fished the correct change out of the bag. Coins in mouth, he flipped them both onto his head, and extended his neck towards the hesitant mare.

“That’s a little much.” she muttered, looking unwilling to take the injured stallion’s money.

“Hey,” he said, straightening up, “You rescued me, a stranger who you found on the edge of a notoriously dangerous forest. Not only that, but you’re letting me stay in your house while I recover. That’s probably the biggest act of kindness and generosity I’ve ever seen. I owe you a lot; you saved my life. At least let me pay the rent.” His serious tone was only slightly marred by the coins still sitting on his muzzle like two patches of bronze mud.

Ditzy allowed herself a small smile. “Alright, you win.” she conceded, sticking her hoof out, “Twenty bits it is.” Smiling at his victory, Tempest took her hoof and gave it a good shake. “You better hide that bag, though. Knowing my daughter, if Dinky finds it, she may very well eat it.”

At that moment, Dinky skipped back out into the parlour. Her mane was now clean and her face was free of the grime of school and flight. Seeing her mother, the unicorn filly hopped up beside her.

“All ready, Mama!” she said eagerly, “Can we go now?”

Grinning at her daughter’s impeccable timing, Ditzy looked down at her. “In a minute, Dinky.” she told her, before looking back up at the stallion. “Now Tempest, there’s food in the fridge if you get hungry. Don’t drink the milk; it’s past it’s expiration date. And remember, you are supposed to be resting, so try and rest.”

Tempest rolled his eyes at her. “Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry; I’ll be sure not to fight any manticores while you go to the grocer’s. Have fun.”

“Oh, wait!” Dinky cried, before dashing back down the hall. One worrying assortment of noises later, she emerged with a brightly colored cube held in her magic. “Got it!” she said, and promptly handed it to Tempest.

“Erm, thank you.” he said as he took the strange object. It was covered in stickers, apparently arranged randomly in a three-by-three grid across its six sides. Prodding at it with his hoof, Tempest was surprised to see one row rotate. “What is it?”

“It’s a Konik’s cube!” Dinky told him, beaming, “You try to get all the same colors on one side. I thought you would get bored sitting here, so I brought it out.”

“Dinky! That was very kind of you!” Ditzy said to her daughter, proudly nuzzling her on the head.

Smiling, Dinky looked back at Tempest, who was already giving the cube a few experimental twists. Slowly, her wide grin was replaced by a perplexed head tilt. Noticing the little unicorn staring at him, Tempest stopped fiddling with the toy and looked back. Deciding that she must be staring at something on his face, he crossed his eyes. Seeing the circular specks on his muzzle, he realized he had never taken the bits off his face.

“Mr. Tempest,” Dinky asked, “Why do you have money on your face?” Suddenly, her eyes widened. “Is it the kind that has chocolate in it?” Tempest Rider could almost see her salivating at the thought.

“No, Dinky, it isn’t.” Ditzy hastily interrupted. “Now come on, we need to get going.”

“‘Kay.”

Mother and daughter headed out the door. As Ditzy closed the door, her last glimpse inside was of Tempest Rider contemplating the cube, twisting it slowly and deliberately.

~~~

Sun setting behind them, Ditzy and Dinky Doo returned home. Ditzy was carrying some saddlebags on her back, overfilled with the various foodstuffs that she had bought at the market, the bags that wouldn’t fit in being carried on her wings. Dinky, on the other hoof, was levitating a chocolate bar in front of her, some of it in her mouth and more of it smeared across her face. Her mother had bought her the candy as a reward for being so thoughtful towards Tempest Rider, and Dinky was having a delightful time with it.

Approaching the door, Ditzy contemplated how to open it. Her wings were full, and she felt that if she tried to open it with her hooves, she would tip over from the weight of the stuff in her saddlebags. She didn’t want to open it with her mouth either; licking doorknobs is gross. Oh well, this is why she had a daughter.

“Dinky, can you open the door for me, please?” she asked her chocolate-covered child.

Dinky swallowed, nodded, and set her chocolate bar on her head, making her mane even more candy-coated. A faint glow surrounded the doorknob, which then twisted and swung inwards. Waltzing inside, Dinky took her candy bar from her head and continued munching, face now looking more candy than filly.

As Ditzy walked in behind her daughter, she was greeted by the sight of Tempest Rider still sitting on the couch. No longer was he slowly and contemplatively turning the cube; the colors blurred as he twisted and rotated in a frenzy, face wearing an expression that suggested the toy had just insulted his mother.

“Hello?” Ditzy asked, concerned.

Pausing in his hurricane-like attempts to solve the puzzle, Tempest jumped and looked up. “Oh, hi.” he replied, “That was a short trip. How’d it go?”

Ignoring his question, Ditzy said, “We’ve been gone for a few hours.”

Tempest looked surprised at this. “What? No way. It’s only been...” He glanced at the clock, and jumped when he noticed the position of the hands. Suddenly, his frustration returned twofold.

“Aaaargh!” he shouted, “By the stars, this thing is impossible to solve!”

Dinky chose that moment to walk back into the room, candy bar gone but candy face still present.

“I can solve it.” she cheerfully quipped.

Tempest was dubious, and slightly insulted. “Really?” he asked doubtfully, “Well, prove it.” Holding out his hoof, he waited for the filly to take the toy.

Accepting the challenge, Dinky took the puzzle in her magic and levitated it over to her face. The unicorn carefully scrutinized the cube, tongue poking out the side of her mouth as she rotated it, studying all the sides. After twenty seconds of close examination, she suddenly started twisting the cube in a whirlwind, colors fading into a uniform gray blob with the speed. Another twenty seconds of furious clacking later, she stopped. The sides of the box were now all the same color, and Dinky was grinning so widely that any normal pony would have strained a facial muscle.

“Done!” she exclaimed, setting the cube down on the table and walking back out of the room, off to do whatever little Dinkys do.

Tempest Rider was stunned. It had been hours since he had started trying to solve that thing, and now that little filly had solved it completely in under a minute. Wide-eyed, he stopped staring at the freshly-solved puzzle and looked up at Ditzy, who was trying, and failing, to stifle a laugh and a smile.

“H-How did she do that?” he asked. Recalling the incident in slightly better detail, he added, “And why was she covered in chocolate?”

“Dinky’s a special one.” she replied, chuckling, simultaneously answering both questions. “I’m not sure even I understand her, and I’m her mother.”

Ditzy gave Tempest Rider another minute to brood. Tempest opted to spend that minute looking shamefacedly at the cube he had failed to solve. Glancing at the clock herself, she noticed the late hour. Trotting over to where he sat, Ditzy put a hoof around his shoulder.

“Come on, mopey.” she said, thumping him on the back, “It’s almost time to turn in. I’ll show you to the guest room.” Silently, Tempest followed, feeling his wounded pride hurt more than his bandaged legs.

The space in the guest room was primarily taken up by the bed in the center of the room. There was also a chest of simple, but functional drawers and a mirror for the resident’s viewing pleasure. The light curtains on the single window were pulled back, letting the moonlight shine in. Two candles flanked the inside of the doorway, of which only one was lit, and a lamp rested on a small table next to the bed, currently turned off. Sparsely decorated, the room had few personal touches. The scent of clean non-use permeated the room, testament to the fact that this room was rarely occupied.

Feeling exhausted from his strange day, Tempest yawned and flopped down on the bed, burying his face in the pillows.

“G’night.” Tempest mumbled into to spread, content to lie on top of the covers for the time being.

“Good night.” Ditzy replied, blowing out the candle near the doorway.

“Thanks again for letting me stay; you’re really nice.”

Ditzy smiled at the compliment. “No problem. It’s been fun having you here.”

Just before she closed the door, Ditzy remembered something. “By the way, I have the day off tomorrow, so me and Dinky are going to the park.”

“I’ll come,” Tempest replied, twisting his head so he could look at her with one eye, “As long as there aren’t any squares.”

~~~

Comments

[Pyromanecer]

In this chapter, I got to look up horse breeds on Wikipedia and drop a sock full of change onto a table to see what sound it made. Writing is fun!

On a related note, horse puns are hard.

[DreadedCandiru2]

Which, of course, presents an obstacle to the writers themselves; trying to find punny expressions that call to mind the equine nature of the characters is, as the Joes would say, half the battle.

[HeirApparent]

Must... avoid... ranting... about... hate... for... horse-puns.... I die a little inside every time I write out the word "everypony."

Anyway, another adorable chapter. I typically find myself drawn towards darker stuff, but your story is one of the few feel-good fics I enjoy. Smart Ditzy is the best Ditzy, in my opinion, and I love your version of Dinky too. Looking forward to the next update.

[NeverKnown]

Thanks you made my day with this story :D anyways......MailMare scenes tingling......DITZY TO THE RESCUE ..................... Keep up the great work cant wait to see whats next!!

[FanOfMostEverything]

I'm continuing to love this. I'm not sure when I became a Ditzy fanboy, but I am now, and this story makes me glad to be one. Looking forward to more.

[Fallen Knight]

Everybody loves Ditzy