Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo slowly walked side-by-side through the empty streets of Ponyville, their hoofsteps seeming to echo in the quiet evening air. The unmoving sun casting long shadows over the shuttered buildings gave the town an unusually somber feeling. The streets were empty, the residents of the town having all locked themselves away inside their houses, apparently hoping the world would go back to normal and the sun would rise as usual in the morning. Their futile hope that what was happening was only a bad dream could almost be felt in the air.
“Ah ain’t never seen the town so quiet before,” Apple Bloom said at last, finally breaking the heavy silence. Her Crusader cloak flapped behind her as she walked, the special clasp Rarity had made for her appearing to glow slightly in the sunlight.
“It’s kinda creepy,” Sweetie Belle agreed, surreptitiously moving closer to Apple Bloom, the little filly seeking comfort in the proximity of her friends.
“Pbbbt,” Scootaloo blew her tongue at the other two. “Not really. The town’s always quiet at this time of night. Can’t really tell what time it is without the moon, but I’m pretty sure it’s nearly midnight.”
Sweetie Belle looked at Scootaloo over Apple Bloom’s lowered head. “How come you know what the town’s like at midnight?” she asked Scootaloo.
Scootaloo smiled easily, a hint of teeth showing out the side of her mouth. “Sometimes I have trouble getting to sleep, so I ride my scooter or go for a walk.”
“Wouldn’t your parents stop you?” A slight frown creased Apple Bloom’s face as she thought about the trouble she’d get into with Applejack if she tried to sneak out for a night.
“Well, I don’t tell them I’m heading out.” Scootaloo cut off any more questions by pointing at a pony shaped figure crossing the street ahead of them. “Hang on, isn’t that Zecora?”
Apple Bloom turned to look in the direction Scootaloo indicated, her eyes narrowing as she focused on the figure. “Ah think you’re right. HEY! MISS ZECORA!!” The three fillies waved to the zebra as she turned, and even at this distance they could see her wave her hoof in return. The trio rushed to where Zecora waited, turning a simple run into a madly giggling scramble.
“Young Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom,” Zecora said, smiling down at the three fillies when they stood before her. “It is good to see you again so soon.”
“Nice to see ya too, Miss Zecora,” Apple Bloom said. “Thank ya ever so much for helpin’ Applejack. Ah really appreciate it.”
“It was my pleasure, little one. I will freely help all who walk under the sun.” The fillies noticed for the first time that she was wearing a pair of saddlebags, both of which looked full to bursting. Her favourite bamboo rod was also slung over her back, resting directly between her shoulder blades.
“Whatcha got there?” Sweetie Belle asked, the little unicorn innocently trying to poke at one of the bags with a hoof.
Zecora quickly stepped out of range, not wanting the curious filly to break any of the beakers within the bags. “Mixtures, potions, and many a tome. I feared to spend the night within my home.”
“How come?” Twilight's voice asked before the mare herself joined the group. Spike walked beside her, his claws scratching tiny imprints in the dirt road.
Zecora shook her head, the bags on her back shifting slightly as she moved. Slight tinkling could be heard coming from inside the bags as various glass beakers lightly collided with one another. “I can hear the Everfree Forest trembling with fear. It dreads what is coming near.”
Twilight bit her lip, thinking about what Zecora meant. At her side, she could see Spike and the Cutie Mark Crusaders watching her silently. If anyone was going to ask, she would have to do it. “So then-” Her voice shook, and she had to pause a moment to compose herself before starting again. “What could the forest be afraid of?”
“I know not what it could be, but the idea makes me balk. But this is neither the time nor place for this talk.” Zecora slowly turned her head, her neckrings reflecting the evening light. “For now I must find a place to rest, so I may face the future at my best.”
“You mean you know what’s going to happen?” Spike asked, the little dragon’s voice quavering slightly.
With a slow shake of her head, Zecora released a slight sigh. “I fear that is beyond my sight. I don’t know what will come, only what might.”
“Enough, Zecora. Tell me, what do you think is going to happen?” Twilight asked. She was starting to get tired of Zecora beating around the bush, and just wanted a straight answer.
Zecora frowned slightly and Twilight wondered for a second if she had pushed too hard, but the zebra’s words put the worry out of her mind. “If it is truly your desire to know, I will tell you. But it is not something to accept at face value. Meet me at the room where your friends rest, and I will explain what I can to my ability’s best.”
Twilight blinked as the cryptic words sunk into her. Zecora was probably the wisest mare Twilight knew. After Princess Celestia, of course, she mentally added. If there was something that made the mystical zebra nervous, Twilight wasn’t so sure she wanted to know after all. But she couldn’t just back down. “Alright, I’ll see you there. But where are you going to sleep? I’d offer my place, but,” she gestured at the three fillies, “I don’t have enough room. Sorry.”
“Do not worry, my friend Twilight.” Zecora smiled as she shifted the bags on her back, trying to make them rest more comfortably. “I can easily find a place for the night. Since the ponies of this town think of me well, it should be simple for me to find a hotel.”
Sweetie Belle suddenly spoke up, surprising both adults. “You could stay at Rarity’s. Nopony’s home right now and I know Rarity would be happy to let you stay. Fluttershy’s taking care of Opal, so you don’t need to worry about her. Although you might not want to touch… well, anything.” Sweetie Belle winced at the recollection of what had happened the last time she had tried playing with her sister’s working materials. It was hardly Sweetie Belle’s fault that fabric was so flammable, right? That ponyquin would probably have fallen into the oven on its own anyway.
Twilight spoke after a few moments’ thought. “That doesn’t sound too bad, actually. She’s right, Rarity would definitely let you stay at her house. Does that sound alright with you?”
“Your friend’s generosity certainly shows,” Zecora said with a smile, “but I certainly do not wish to impose.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Sweetie Belle said. “You can find a key to the front door- Oh!” Glancing around, she pulled Zecora’s head down to her and started whispering something into the zebra’s ear.
Apple Bloom saw Twilight’s questioning look and answered the question that was clear on the unicorn’s face. “She’s not really supposed to tell anypony about where Rarity hides the spare key. Me and Scootaloo know, but we can’t tell nopony.”
“I-I didn’t even know she had a spare key,” Spike said, looking like he was about to burst into tears. Twilight rolled her eyes at the reaction of her lovelorn assistant and turned back to see Zecora nod her head before standing up straight.
“Thank you for your generosity,” Zecora said gratefully down to the little unicorn. “The location of the key is safe with me.” Her earrings swayed as she turned her head, the expression on her face becoming serious as she looked at Twilight. “After your friends came to my place, I performed a divination about the one you did face. I saw from where the creature came from and I fear the worst is yet to come.” With the wind blowing through her mane, she tuned and disappeared in the direction of Carousel Boutique.
“Just says what she likes and then leaves. That’s Zecora, alright.” Twilight exhaled, letting out a slight puff of air out her nostrils as she turned to look at the four with her. The three fillies looked up at her expectantly while Spike looked despondently in the direction Zecora had gone, looking like he wanted to follow after her. Twilight gave him a hard shove, nearly knocking him to the ground. “You can find out where the key is later. Right now, let’s just get home.”
Spike rubbed his claws together awkwardly before following after Twilight and the fillies. “Yeah, sure. Right.”
Roughly shoving the door to the library open, Twilight tiredly staggered inside. She could feel the exhaustion of the day all the way down to her bones, and her hooves scraped along the wooden floor as she dragged herself towards the stairs. Her mind was starting to feel a little fuzzy and she knew that if she didn’t get to bad soon, she would be sleeping on the floor. “Spike, I’m going to head to bed now. Take care of those three. ‘Night.”
Spike nodded as she stumbled up the stairway, wondering if Twilight needed some help. Thankfully, she made it to the top without incident, and he could hear her hoofsteps as she managed to get to her bed. Sighing in relief, he turned to the three fillies, wondering what to do with them. “We’ve got a guest room, but there’s really not enough room for three. What else…” He scratched the back of his head as he pondered where the trio could sleep for the night.
He didn’t really want to separate them, since Apple Bloom would probably need the comfort of her friends to get through the night. He wasn’t very good at reading ponies, but even he could tell that Apple Bloom was just barely holding herself together, though she was doing a good job of hiding it. “Would the basement be alright? We’d need to clean up a little, but it should be big enough.”
Scootaloo grinned broadly, rearing back on her hind legs and striking a pose. “A little hoofwork’s no problem. I’ll move all that junk by myself if I have to.”
With a sweep of one of her legs, Apple Bloom knocked Scootaloo’s legs out from under her, knocking the tiny pegasus on her back. “Yeah, yeah,” she teased as Scootaloo glared at her. “I think watching you move all that stuff by yourself does sound- Oof.” The rest of her sentence was cut off as Scootaloo tackled her, and the two fillies were quickly wrapped up in their playful little brawl.
Groaning as he saw them crash into a bookshelf, the books falling all around them like leaves, Spike smacked his face with a claw. “Yeah, should have seen this coming. Sweetie Belle, could you…” His request faded out as he realized that the little unicorn was no longer standing beside him. A hasty look around of the room showed that she had leapt into the battle at some point, which was now raging stronger than ever. When did she even join them?
“Who?”
Glancing up to see Owlowiscious sitting on one of the ceiling beams, Spike winced as he heard the fillies take down another bookshelf. “I’m going to clean up the basement,” he told the owl. “Make sure they don’t break anything-” crash “-anything else,” he finished lamely. Hope whatever that was wasn’t important. Speeding for the basement doors at a breakneck pace, Spike tried to ignore the continuing sounds of wreckage from behind him.
“Who?” the owl said to nobody in particular.
Where… am I?
I see… This is a dream.
Who’s there? Wait. I know you…
Princess Luna? Is that you?
It is you! I’m so happy to see you! It’s been so long. Almost three months now.
What? How do I know how long it’s been? Um… I dunno! I guess I just do!
There’s so much I want to tell you! I met a new pony, and…
What’s wrong? Why are you so sad? Princess Luna, are you crying?
Please don’t cry.
Please…
Several hours later, Twilight’s bedcovers fell off of her as she sat up. Letting out a magnificent yawn, she stretched out her hooves as high as she could. Her spine popped and cracked pleasantly, and she groaned in relief. The groan became a sigh as she glanced out the window and saw that the sunlight was coming from the wrong direction. “Well, girl,” she said aloud. “Somepony’s gotta do something about it, and it might as well be you.”
Climbing out of bed and straightening the bedsheets, she turned and laughed as she saw herself in the mirror. “Wow. Beauty sleep is obviously wasted on me.” Picking up the nearby brush with her magic, she ran it through her mane several times until she no longer looked like something that would frighten small foals. Putting the brush aside, she leaned in and examined her horn in the mirror.
This was the first time she had really stopped look closely at it since the injury, and she gasped in shock at what she saw. From a single large gash near the base where the axe had struck her, the entirety of her horn was covered in cracks that spread all the way up to the tip. Between the larger cracks, dozens of smaller fissures spiderwebbed throughout the rest of the horn. Twilight stared in horror at the sight, her mouth hanging open until she couldn’t take it anymore and forced her eyes closed.
Much as she wanted to run away from the mirror, she steeled herself and slowly opened her eyes once again, resolving to burn the sight into her retinas. Reaching up, her hoof flinched away from her horn right before she touched it. She knew it was silly, but a small part of her felt like her horn would disintegrate if she so much as touched it. It was in such poor condition that she was surprised it hadn’t crumbled apart already. Could my own personal magic be holding it together? she wondered. Whatever the reason, she was just grateful it didn’t hurt beyond a dull throb, a slight pain that was no worse than a minor headache.
Levitating over the bottle that Zecora had given her, she dipped her hoof into it and applied a little more of the goo to her horn. So long as nothing else went wrong, her horn should recover without any issues. Twilight knew she was lucky, and that it could have gone a lot worse for her. Like AJ and Dash…
Shaking her head, Twilight shoved those thoughts aside. No. She was done moping. Now she needed to be strong, and she needed to figure out a way to help her friends. To help all of Equestria. It was a daunting task, but so long as her friends were with her, Twilight felt she could take on anything in the world.
“That’s right,” she said to the mirror, trying to pump herself up. “Even you, Discord. Anything you can throw at us, we will overcome it together. So bring on Nightmare Moon, bring on the changelings. I’m not afraid of you.” Come to think of it, she still had no idea about the relationship between the changelings and Discord. Was it possible that he was only using them for his own twisted amusement as well? Maybe it would be possible to temporarily ally with the changelings, at least until the threat of Discord had passed?
As she thought that, loose memories slipped into her mind. She heard the words of the changeling Queen, spoken during the first invasion of Canterlot. ‘He may not be my husband, but he is under my total control.’ ‘First we take Canterlot, and then, all of Equestria!’ ‘You can run, but you can’t hide!’
Twilight groaned. So much for that idea. Whatever the changelings intended, it certainly wouldn’t be good.
Capping the bottle and putting it aside, she giggled to herself when she turned and saw Spike curled up in his little basket. His blanket had fallen off at some point during the night and she could clearly see him hugging his own tail, sucking at the tip like it was a giant purple pacifier. It was adorable. Half wanting to take a picture of him so she could embarrass him with it later and half wanting to draw a mustache on his face, she instead decided to leave him alone and let him sleep, covering him with his blanket and tucking him in with a fond shake of her head.
The floor creaking slightly under her hooves, she slipped out the doorway and shut it behind her with a quiet click. A faint smile adorning her face, she silently walked down the stairs. The smile slid off her face as she saw the disaster the library had become, her expression flipping to an irritated frown. Almost all of the books had been knocked off their shelves, and a valuable statue by Alexander Colter lay in pieces in one of the corners. It was only a replica – ponies crashed into the library far too often for anything irreplaceable to be kept here – but it had still been difficult for her to obtain it.
Well, at least none of the books had been damaged. It was too early in the morning to stress about the mess, so Twilight decided to just ignore it. Walking past the mess without stopping to clean felt like a physical pain stabbing into her heart, but Twilight persevered and managed to make it to the kitchen. There, that wasn’t so hard, was it? Wiping a bead of sweat off her forehead, she quickly threw together a simple breakfast of lettuce, flowers, apple slices, and some good strong coffee.
Leaving enough of the salad for the still-asleep fillies for when they woke up – as well as three glasses of orange juice – Twilight also left a bowl of gems for her number one assistant. Her work finished, she stepped out into the library one more and tried to persuade herself to leave without cleaning the place. She had to get to the hospital. She had… to… get… I’ll just clean up the books a little. Just pile them up. That’s all. Actually, those stone shards are a little dangerous. I better clean them up as well.
Half an hour later, Twilight caught herself starting to sort the books and putting them back in their regular places on the shelves. Blushing slightly and privately glad nopony had seen her momentary loss of control, she hastily scribbled a note for the four still sleeping and left the building before she could clean up any more.
Once outside, Twilight had to blink at what she saw. The streets were crowded with ponies, more than she had thought lived in Ponyville. They moved listlessly among themselves, not appearing to notice her at all. Their eyes were almost all sunken and blank, like they had been unable to fall asleep all night, and they tiredly staggered through the streets. Occasionally, one would look up at where the sun hung in the sky before sighing and returning their gaze to the dirt road. Twilight knew what they were feeling. She had felt that way once before and she would never forget it. Have they given up?
“Morning, Twilight. Ya sleep well?”
Twilight only groaned in response to Applejack’s inquiry as she dropped herself down onto one of the hospital chairs. It had been a rough trip to the hospital, and she had been jostled, bumped, shoved, and otherwise roughed around by all the despondent ponies that filled the streets. It wasn’t like the ponies meant to hurt her, it was more like they didn’t even realise she was there.
“Goooood news, everypony,” Rarity’s melodic voice sung out from the doorway as she cantered into the room. Pinkie followed at her heels, the pink mare bouncing excitedly. “You’ll be happy to hear that both Pinkie and I are being released from the hospital.”
“That is good news,” Applejack said, a somewhat forced smile on her face. She was definitely happy to hear that her friends were well on the road to recovery, and she certainly wasn’t jealous that they were able to leave while she would have to remain hospitalized for a while longer. Her happiness was just a little tinged with guilt because most of it came from the fact that she wouldn’t be stuck spending another night in the same room as Pinkie Pie. She was just too polite to say so.
“Yeperoony,” said Pinkie. “The doctors say I have to keep these bandages on for a little while longer and that I should change them from time to time. But that’s just silly, isn’t it? You can’t change bandages. What am I supposed to change them into? I suggested a hat, but the doctor just looked at me funny and said I should have a talk with one of his colleagues. He had such a funny name, I think it was Psykia Trist or something like that. Ooh, I should totally throw a Released-From-the-Hospital Party! And then we can all sleep together and it’ll like a big slumber pa-”
Twilight shoved her hoof into Pinkie’s mouth, cutting off the party pony’s ramble. “By the way,” she asked the others. “What happened to our…” she hesitated, fishing for the right word, “…guest?”
“You mean that strange animal, right?” Dash gestured at the doorway with her uninjured wing. “He’s in one of the other rooms. They’ve got him tied down on one of those hospital wheely bed thingies-“
“Gurney,” Twilight supplied, knowing what Dash was talking about.
“Gesundheit. Anyway, they’ve got him tied down on one of those things so even when he wakes up, he ain’t going nowhere.”
“He still hasn’t woken up?” Twilight asked. “Maybe Nightmare Moon hurt him worse than I thought,” she mused to herself, tapping her hoof against her chin.
“Umm… Twilight?” Applejack said from where she was looking out the window. “Not to pressure you or nothing, but d’ya think you could plan fast?”
“Now Applejack, why would you even ask that of her?” Rarity asked with an upraised eyebrow. When Applejack’s only response was to point out the window, Rarity walked over to see what the cowpony was referring to. “Oh…” she said quietly when she saw it, her voice almost a whisper. “Oh, that’s not good.”
The three others, not counting Rainbow Dash, crowded around the window. Each of them muttered in dismay at what they saw down there on the streets below. Dash, still confined to her bed, was unable to see out the window. “What?” she asked impatiently. “What is it? What do you see?”
Twilight turned to looked at Dash, the purple unicorn’s face paling until it was almost white. “We’ve got a problem,” she whispered.
On the streets below, a large crowd had formed, surrounding the train station. A train had just come in from Canterlot, bearing two very unwelcome passengers with it. The pair stood side by side, openly watching their hostile surroundings with a disinterested air, as if there was nothing the ponies could do to hurt them.
Mayor Mare forced her way through the crowd, eventually managing to break through them and stand before the interlopers. Hiding the fear that she felt tearing at her heart at the sight of the arrivals, the amber earth pony bravely cleared her throat. “What do you want?” she asked them. Her voice quivered slightly, but she was mostly able to keep it under control.
The two figures turned to look at her, their black eyelids slowly coming down over their compound eyes as they blinked at her. The nearer one stepped towards her, the entire crowd collectively backing up a step as his hole-riddled hoof struck the dirt road. His wings buzzed slightly, and the side of his mouth curled back in what could technically be called a smile, a pair of sharp fangs glinting in the evening sunlight. Its twisted horn blazed a sickly green as it cast a spell to make its voice heard throughout the entirety of Ponyville.
“We know the bearers of the Elements of Harmony live here,” the changeling boomed, its deep reverberating voice somehow still managing to buzz slightly. “You will surrender the six mares, or face the consequences. So commands the new ruler of Equestria, Queen Chrysalis. If you know what is good for you, you will submit.”
“And…” Mayor Mare’s legs were shaking, but she refused to back down. “And if we refuse?”
The second changeling grinned broadly, his eyes twinkling merrily as if the idea of the ponies fighting back amused him. “Then I suppose,” he hissed in a voice meant for the mayor’s ears only, “we’ll just have to burn this town to the ground.”
some ponies just need to comply with the law and not be jerks...
I'm not sure if I like how you write the changelings. I mean, the way you portray them, it makes it seem as if they're a species that deserves to die out, not just a species that has an unfortunate way of feeding. I know that that sounds stereotypical, but all those stories do have a point. I mean, if they truly are as bad as they seem in your story, Alex probably would have seen though it and not have helped them.
And sorry for telling you to engage in coitis with yourself, but that's how I am when information is withheld from me.
3206482 Don't worry, I know the feeling. It's like "Why are you mocking me by not telling me this, I just want to know this one little piece of information you have my interest tell me tell me tell me ARGH!"
But even if I wanted to reveal the history of the changelings now, there's still a few pieces of information I have to explain first. Without that to give it context, the history'd probably either fall flat on its face or bog itself down in exposition for stuff that isn't important yet. It's a pretty narrow path I have to walk. Same with the evil of the changelings. It's not just their feeding habits that are unfortunate, there's a lot more then that. And yes, they hate it.
I sense human interference this time around. ..
I wonder if the human in the hospital will wake up when the ponies are occupied before proceding to escape to somewhere else, causing yet ANOTHER complication. can I ask you something? Did you plan out EVERY event in the story beforehand or did come up with certain important/unchangeable event and filled in the blank spots later or are you just making it up more or less as you go? I really like what you've done with this story so far. You've taken a tired concept (human in Equ) and made it work without even throwing in any major gimmicks (like the human is a ghost for example). On a side note, have you read a Dwarf in Equestria story? I'm sereously thinking about writting one since I've never even come across one before. Not a crossover, just a single dwarven miner who gets lost and his quest to get back home but learning somethings from the ponies along the way.
3217108 The very first thing I planned out was the confrontation against Discord at the end of part four. After that, I slowly built on the idea, grabbing everything I could think of from the show and tying it all together. Some ideas were tossed, others were kept, plotlines and characters were dropped and shuffled around based on my whims and what I felt worked best for the story.
For example, I had originally intended for Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon to travel along with the CMC and Pipsqueak. They would have seen the Crusaders sneaking onto the train and would sneak on as well for no better reason then to ruin whatever the Crusaders were doing. Spike, meanwhile, would have been traveling with the Mane Six to Canterlot. DT and SS were dropped shortly before I started writing Part three since I already had too many balls in the air, were replaced with Spike and Spike was replaced with Zecora, whose importance in the story skyrocketed when I planned out her past while writing out the end of part two. Other characters, like Blueblood and Iron Will, were also dropped, no longer important to the storyline as the entire story shifted.
I had most of the story planned out before Season Three started, and as Season Three came out I entertained myself by working elements from the episodes into my story, like the Crystal Empire, Sombra, and the Alicorn Amulet. Then Keep Calm and Flutter On came out and so much for that.
Another change was one of the very first things I had planned out; the deaths of both humans at about the halfway point through the story, victims of the power struggle between Discord, NMM, and Chrysalis. I only recently managed to drop that point, and I just did a bit of a rewrite to remove foreshadowing for that and a few other things.
As for the DiE, I don't think I've ever seen anything like that either. Are we talking standard Tolkien, Our Dwarves Are All The Same dwarf, or something a little unique?
3219383 Don't worry, and I actually agree about the details thing. Early on, I had intended to add as many details as possible to try and make the whole thing as alive as possible and bring it all together.
Now? I feel like I've got too many frakin' details, and I'm currently in the process of rewriting the story and gutting as much as I can get away with.
About the time, no rush. I think the group rules give you a few weeks after the first review.
And yeah, originally I hadn't intended to write the story as an HiE. But then a read a large chunk of HiEs where the human would instantly move into the town and everyone would be happy forever.
Blech.
"Oh," I thought. "A challenge."
3218603 Seems like a fair way to write things.
As for the dwarves I was going to have them be a pretty much like the now standard Tolkien style dwarves but with a couple changes. For one thing, they have no further contact with surface races and likely never will as they isolated themselves deep, deep underground. So deep that strange things happening in tunnels like gravity not playing by the rules occur. They only remember other races from the archives they keep for practicality. Also they don't dream, and they are resistant to magic. Also I plan to involve the diamond dogs. A story with Equestria and dwarves in it simply MUST have them meet.
Alright, it took me a while, but I have read the whole story. Now, it's time for review.
This review is brought to you by: HiddenUnderACouch, as a sign of gratitude to the author of this fic for making a review of one of my fics.
Let's get started, shall we? Your fic is gigantic, and going from chapter to chapter shall take a lot of time, so I will be taking a look at whole parts, alright?
The first part - what can I say? It's amazing. I loved the premise, I loved the execution, and even though the giant amount of details made it difficult for me to continue reading sometimes, I don't regret the time I spent - it was truly magnifecent. There were no serious problems I encountered throughout this part, this part is 10/10.
The second part- now, I have some problems with this one. Mainly, the premise - I can't say for sure... but this story I have heard somewhere before. I just feel that inside my gut - Alex making friends with Last Breath, getting all touchy about the changelings dying out - it all reminds me of something and I can't remember what. But that's not the issue - the issue is Chrysalis and Alex.
The friendship between Last Breath and Alex is really well done, and made me really feel bad for the changelings. But the Queen did the exact opposite - even in the moments I'm supposed to feel bad for her, I can't. I know she's lying. Because even in the beggining, she treats the newcomer-human like crap. After she gets over with her 'sad' state, she doesn't seem to feel any guilt for doing all these horrible things she's doing. And that is the main reason I can't feel bad for her - I know she's lying. I honestly didn't believe any word she said. But Alex seemed to fall for it.
I mean, when she returns with vengeance, her behavior didn't change from 'insane dictator murderer queen' at all. I don't see a mother who is trying to get revenge for her dead children - I see an evil B*tch, who didn't get slapped enough in the childhood. That made me feel very hostile against changelings, even with most of the details you revealed, and those are quite good ideas, I have to admit. I know I am supposed to feel sorry for them in some places, but I can't. I just don't trust anything the Queen or any changeling say, except for Last Breath, he was pretty believable.
The third part - since it's not finished yet, I can't say my full opinion, but it seems like there's epic battles to come. It seems all the villain have returned at once (what a coincedence) to turn Equestria into big pile of coal. Well, all, minus Sombra, he's gone down with the heavy case of death, I presume. Though, who knows, maybe you'll bring him back too. I would like to see how you portray him.
All in all, I enjoyed this a lot! The first part was a little bit difficult to read through, because of the giant amount of details, but that's not a problem at all. The second part, however, added just a little bit of salt into my Sunday Special. As I said, it's very hard for me to feel sorry for the shapeshifters, and that ruined the second part for me a bit. But other than that, it's incredibly good.
Final score: I haven't read HiE too much, because I don't like this genre. This, however, is the best HiE ever, I think. Your humans are portrayed perfectly, unlike many others, who get insta happy when appearing in Equestria. I am certianly looking forward to how this all going to conclude! You, sir, deserve a medal! Have one!
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