A Touch of Chaos

by Written Out

Facing the Darkness

Celestia’s wings went wide, her back stretching out until it popped. “Oh, yeeessss,” Nightmare Moon happily groaned, fluttering Celestia’s wings slightly before tucking them back against her side. “That feels goooood… As I thought, this really is the best body shape for me.” When she spoke, there was a strange duality, like her voice had been overlaid over Celestia’s.

“No,” Twilight gasped, staring flabbergasted at the demon possessing her beloved teacher. “How are you here?” she shouted. “We destroyed you!” Nightmare Moon had been destroyed when Twilight and her friends used the Elements of Harmony on Princess Luna. Right?

Nightmare Moon twisted her neck around, testing the limits of her new body. “Oh, I admit it was close, little pony. When you discovered the spark necessary to connect the Elements, I truly thought that was the end of me. But instead of killing me, all you did was strip me away from my host.” Craning her neck all the way around, she glared at her tail, which was gently flowing in an ethereal breeze. “Why did Celestia ever think this sunshine and rainbows pattern looked good?” she grumbled. “I feel ridiculous.”

Twilight stomped her hoof, trying her best to show a strong front against her enemy despite the soul-crushing fear she felt in her heart. Here she was, alone, facing what Luna had admitted was the greatest threat to Equestria since Discord himself. If they fought, Twilight’s chance of victory was pretty much nil, but she allowed none of these thoughts to show on her face. “Then why are you here?”

Snorting at her tail, Nightmare Moon shifted her attention over to her wings. Carefully examining their pure white feathers, she carelessly answered Twilight’s question. “I had been trapped in that forest ever since you defeated me. Since I lacked enough power to leave that castle, I could do nothing but wait and watch as the days and nights passed. Then, imagine my surprise when Discord suddenly dropped that pathetic creature into my lap.” She waved her hoof in the direction of the bipedal creature, which was still lying where it had collapsed in the dirt.

Twilight’s breath caught in her throat and she felt her heart seize up. “You- you’re working with Discord!” she accused. Facing one of her old foes was bad enough, but two of them allying together? Nowhere in Equestria would be safe.

Nightmare Moon only scoffed at Twilight’s wild accusations. “Please,” she said, carefully preening a crooked feather back into place, “don’t lump me with that decrepit old relic. That fool thinks he knows everything, but he had no idea I was even there.” She chuckled, a deep dark amused chuckle that seemed to make all the shadows in the canyon reverberate in amusement. “I can promise you that I am here with only friendly intentions. All I want is to talk with you.”

“Talk?” Twilight asked in disbelief. “You’re possessing Celestia, and you say you want to talk with me? Get out of her body right now!”

“You’re being a child, Twilight Sparkle,” Nightmare Moon scolded. She gently tapped her hoof against Celestia’s chest. “If I leave this body, I won’t be able to talk to you anymore. I was only able to ride on that creature of Discord’s, I couldn’t affect his actions at all.” She bowed her head to Twilight, appearing genuinely contrite. “I am sorry I couldn’t do more to help you and your friends.”

“I’m sure it must have been very hard for you,” Twilight noted sarcastically.

Nightmare Moon held out a hoof, forestalling Twilight from saying anything else. “Just let me speak my part,” she requested. “If we are still unable to come to an understanding after I have finished explaining everything, I promise I will leave Celestia’s body and that we will never meet again.”

Twilight hesitated before answering. What she wanted most of all was to chase Nightmare Moon away without waiting at all. Unfortunately, without either her friends or the Elements of Harmony, she didn’t think she had the power to free Celestia from Nightmare Moon’s hold. “…You promise?” she asked after several second’s thought. I’ll just have to play along for now.

“I promise.”

“Then start by explaining why I should trust you,” Twilight ordered, punctuating her demand with a snort. “You tried to take over Equestria last time we met. What makes this time different?”

Nightmare Moon nodded, Celestia’s flowing mane blowing over her eyes and obscuring them from sight. “An excellent question. There are two main reasons why I want to help you. The first is that, while you may think me a monster, I am still Princess Luna’s other half. While I may have once wanted to control Equestria, it is still my home. I don’t want to see it under Discord’s chaotic rule any more then you do.”

Twilight had to swallow at that. Despite what she had hoped, what Nightmare Moon was saying made sense. Even Luna had called Nightmare Moon her other half. “And the second reason?” she asked, silently hoping it was something she would be able to easily shoot down.

“The second reason…” Nightmare Moon lifted her hoof, pointing it directly at Twilight. “It’s because of you.”

That caught Twilight off guard. “Me?” she repeated dumbly. “What do you mean?”

Nightmare Moon sighed reminiscently, staring up at the sky. “That moment… When you used the Elements of Harmony on me, tearing me away from Luna, I had never seen anything so fearsome in my entire life.” A small smile materialized on her face. “You were the most beautiful sight I had ever seen.”

An unwilling blush appeared on Twilight’s face. “B-Beautiful?” she protested, suddenly feeling very flustered. “I’m not beautiful.”

Stepping forward, Nightmare Moon reached out and brushed Twilight’s cheek with her hoof, tucking the purple unicorn’s mane behind her ear. “You are beautiful,” she gently assured.

Twilight slapped her hoof aside, glaring up at the tall alicorn. “False compliments will get you nowhere. Just get to the point, Nightmare Moon.”

“There’s no need for such hostility.” Walking to the side, she started circling around Twilight, her hungry eyes devouring every little aspect of the small unicorn. “And please, just call me Nightmare. My separation from Luna tore away my connection with the moon, but my power over dreams is as strong as ever.”

Twilight followed Nightmare Moon with her eyes, never allowing her to leave her sight. “I don’t think so. Just get to the point. What do you want from me?”

Nightmare Moon stopped in front of Twilight, bending down so she could look Twilight directly in the eyes. “I wish to join with you. Twilight Sparkle, I desire you to be my host.”

Raising an eyebrow, Twilight gave Nightmare Moon a skeptical look. “So you can control me like you did Princess Luna? I refuse.”

“Now, now, don’t be so hasty.” Nightmare Moon chuckled, as if she had expected Twilight’s reaction. “Do you think you can defeat Discord again? You were able to beat him once before, but he’ll be ready for you this time. You’ll need the power I can offer. I was able to foil his scheme this time, but it’s only a matter of time until he breaks free. And even if you can handle him, what about the changelings? What can you do about them?”

Twilight had opened her mouth to ask Nightmare Moon what she knew about Discord, but was distracted by her final comment. “The changelings? What do they have to do with anything?”

“Before she left Canterlot, Celestia had set up some spells to alert her if a large number of changelings suddenly entered the city.” Nightmare Moon lifted her hoof, holding it above her heart. “Since I’m in Celestia’s body, I can tell for certain. Canterlot is under attack right now.”

Twilight glared suspiciously at Nightmare Moon. “Prove it,” she challenged. “Princess Luna should be in Canterlot right now, as well as Cadance and my brother. They wouldn’t allow the changelings to enter the city so easily.”

“You wouldn’t believe anything I said, so just look.” Nightmare Moon pointed down the canyon in the direction that Canterlot lay. “See with your own eyes.”

Slowly, unwilling to tear her eyes away from her adversary, Twilight turned to stare in the direction of Canterlot. She couldn’t see the city over the lip of the canyon, but she could still clearly see a terrible storm building directly above the city. The storm was too far away for her to sense anything from it, but just by seeing it she could tell that there was a great deal of loose magic running rampart within it. Is Canterlot really under attack? she thought.

“So?” Nightmare Moon whispered from directly beside Twilight’s ear. “What’s your answer? Will you accept my power, or will you fight against those that threaten our home all by yourself?” To punctuate her question, she playfully blew into Twilight’s ear.

Twilight flinched away from the puff of air, turning to shout at the creature possessing Celestia. Instead, she was brought up short by the sight of Nightmare Moon standing still, holding out her hoof as if she waited for Twilight to accept it. Twilight felt torn by her emotions, unsure of what she should do. On the one hoof, she wanted to turn Nightmare Moon down cold. She didn’t believe anything the evil apparition said, and knew she would never be able to trust her. On the other hoof, Nightmare Moon had made several good points. Twilight really didn’t think she had enough power to save Equestria as she was now.

While she was thinking, she happened to glance upwards at Nightmare Moon’s eyes, the crystalline blue orbs resting firmly within Celestia’s familiar face. At that moment, something became clear to Twilight at the same time as she remembered some of Celestia’s words, spoken only hours ago. “Luna told me how she lost herself to the Nightmare. She said that it came to her one night, gently speaking honeyed words into her ears, but that the pleasant words quickly became poisonous, feeding on her self-doubt and turning her against me.”

Acting more on instinct than anything else, Twilight threw herself to the side. As she did, an absolutely massive boulder fell from the sky, landing on the place where she had been standing only moments before. Had she reacted even a few seconds later, she would have been mashed into paste.

Rather than being annoyed at her failed attempt to kill Twilight, Nightmare Moon only looked impressed. “Well, well, well,” she said coolly, cocking an eyebrow at her escaped prey. “What gave me away?”

Rolling to her hooves, Twilight widened her legs and lowered herself into a defensive stance, pointing her horn directly at Nightmare Moon. “Too many things didn’t add up,” she explained. “You said you couldn’t control Discord’s creature, but you also said you foiled his scheme. You wouldn’t want to possess me when you’re already controlling Celestia. And the fact the creature started talking right before you jumped to Celestia? I don’t buy it. Finally, you said you still had power over dreams. That was you inside my dream, wasn’t it? You were just pretending to be Discord. You fled because you didn’t want to fight Luna!”

Nightmare Moon threw her head back and laughed. Her laugh was loud and strong and went on for far too long. “Ahahahahahahahahahahaha! I underestimated you, little apprentice of my sister's. You are correct. From the beginning, I’ve been pushing that foolish creature to kill you and your pathetic friends. I had to be subtle, though, so Discord wouldn’t realize what I was doing. Listening to his furious protests as he tried to keep you foals alive made it worth it. He’s been a thorn in our side for far too long.”

“Then what are you planning?” Twilight almost shouted. “To throw the world in eternal night? Because I’ve stopped you once, and I’ll stop you again.”

“Eternal night?” Nightmare Moon laughed lightly, sounding actually amused by the idea. “That had always been Luna’s idea, not mine. Ah, Luna…” she sighed fondly. “Such a pathetic creature. All she ever wanted was for her night to be acknowledged, never realising that eternal night would mean the death of each and every living creature in Equestria and beyond. No, I’m afraid that my desire is far simpler.” She turned to look at Twilight, her eyes glowing ominously. “What I want right now is for you to die.”

A bolt of lightning shot out from her horn, covering the distance to Twilight in an instant. Twilight only barely managed to get a barrier up in time, the lightning striking harmlessly against it. She braced herself, preparing for her enemy’s follow up attack. But instead of attacking, Nightmare Moon only smiled.

“You’ve learned a thing or two since we last met,” the being inside Celestia complimented. Her smile took on a sinister edge, exposing her fangs. “That’s good. I’ve been imaging how I would kill you ever since my defeat. Ending it this early would just be disappointing.”

A wavering magic field shimmered into existence around Nightmare Moon’s horn. Whereas literally every other magic-user that Twilight had ever seen had their horns glow when they prepared a spell, the magic field around the ebony horn instead seemed to consume the light, devouring it to feed itself more power. Small black orbs started to detach themselves from the magical field, floating away until they covered the entire field. Twilight watched the balls of darkness suspiciously, ready to launch a counterspell if they did anything.

The orbs started to grow, covering the field in an all-consuming darkness. Twilight quickly launched her counterspell at the nearest orb, but it disappeared into the blackness to apparently no effect. She didn’t even have time to scream before the magical darkness was upon her, engulfing her in its greedy maw.

Unable to see anything in the inky darkness, Twilight quickly tried to get her bearings. Hurriedly focusing as much of her magic to horn as she could, she cast the strongest light spell she could come up with. She thought she saw a flickering light for a split second before it was swallowed up by the darkness, taking her hope with it. No! I can’t give up! she thought. There has to be something I can do!

“Something wrong?” Nightmare Moon taunted, stepping out of the darkness in front of Twilight. She grinned confidently at her foe, obviously believing that she had already won. “It’s just a simple darkness spell. Surely that isn’t enough to slow the mighty bearer of the Element of Magic, the one who my sister chose to beat me?”

“You are not Princess Luna!” Twilight shouted defiantly, firing a bolt of pure magical energy directly into Nightmare Moon’s face. Surprise flickered across the alicorn’s face for a split second before Twilight’s spell hit her head on, the force of the magical blast throwing Nightmare Moon away. With her concentration broken, the cruel alicorn was no longer able to focus on her spell and the darkness faded away.

Nightmare Moon landed heavily on the ground, rolling onto her side. She stared at Twilight in uncomprehending disbelief. “It can’t be!” she protested. “How did you see me?” As she struggled to stand up, she caught sight of her own foreleg and her shock and incomprehension faded away, replaced with unamused understanding. “Oh. Right. I’m in the Princess of the Day now. Of course I can’t hide in darkness anymore.”

Twilight smirked confidently. “What’s wrong?” she mocked. “Is your stolen body not working as well as you had hoped?”

“Laugh all you want, little gnat, but remember,” Nightmare Moon shot back, “the spirit may be mine, but the body is still Celestia’s.” A horrific contemptuous grin spread on her face. “So give me your worst. I can’t even feel it.”

The blood drained out of Twilight’s face as a mind-numbing terror crept into her heart. She hadn’t even considered that! If she tried to fight back, any landed blow wouldn’t be against her enemy, but against her dear mentor, who had all but raised her. What was she supposed to do?

Nightmare Moon laughed at the expression on Twilight’s face, a cruel mocking laugh that ridiculed everything Twilight was. “That’s right, you can’t do it.” Her black horn began to glow, and a cold wind started to whip through the narrow gorge, creating a high-pitched whistling that seemed to reverberate within Twilight’s own skeleton. “You lack the strength of will necessary to do whatever it takes for victory. That is why you failed to kill me.” The whistling wind began to focus on Nightmare Moon, wrapping around her pointed horn. “Let me show you what the will to kill your enemy looks like.”

The wind spinning around Nightmare Moon’s horn suddenly fired at Twilight, screaming as it tore through the air. Spinning around a center focal point, it looked like a miniature tornado launched as a spear. Twilight threw herself to the side, feeling the wind slice across her cheek before it passed through her tail and struck the canyon wall behind her. Looking behind her, she felt a lump form in her throat that she needed to swallow as she saw the damage the whirlwind had caused. The wind had pierced into the stone itself, and Twilight had a vivid image of what that attack would have done had she not avoided it. The blood running freely down her cheek was enough to paint a picture on its own.

“Haaa,” Nightmare Moon sighed, apparently disappointed at something. “As I thought, wind really is the hardest of all the elements to control. That was supposed to curve at the last second so that you would dodge right into it. I was so looking forward to your expression as it drilled a hole into your skull. Let’s see, what shall I try next…?” she mused, thoughtfully tapping her left foreleg against her right.

Twilight grimaced, anger suddenly welling up within her. Her teeth scraped against each other, creating a sharp screeching noise. Here she was, barely managing to stay alive, and Nightmare Moon was acting like she didn’t even consider her a threat. It was insulting. “Hey!” Twilight yelled, rearing back on her hind legs and waving her forehooves in the air threateningly. “What’s wrong? Fight me!” Her actions seemed crazy, but she had an idea. It was risky, but if things continued at this pace, it would only a matter of time until Twilight failed to avoid an attack. She had to act before then.

“Fight?” Nightmare Moon asked, looking genuinely surprised. “You seem to be misunderstanding something. This isn’t a fight-” With a flash of light, she teleported from where she was standing, suddenly appearing in front of Twilight. Before the unicorn could react, a pure white horn hoof swung up, striking her hard in the side of the head and knocking her away. “-It’s an execution,” the possessed alicorn finished dispassionately.

Twilight moaned as she hit the ground, the coppery taste of blood filling her mouth. Even though that was the reaction she had been looking for, Twilight was still taken aback by Nightmare Moon’s sheer savagery. Never before had she faced a foe who so desired her death. Discord had broken her friendship apart and laughed in her face about it, but she had never felt truly afraid of him. The changeling Queen had captured her and her friends, but even then she had never felt like her life was truly in danger. The closest she had ever felt like somepony wanted her dead was King Sombra, but even he had never stooped to this level of brutality. Thinking back on it, that should have clued her that something was wrong. Physically harming her and her friends just didn’t sound like something Discord would do.

Barely able to move anymore, she rolled over onto her back, unintentionally releasing a tiny whimper of pain. It felt like every cell of her body was aflame! Despite the unbelievable pain running through her body, a small smile spread on her lips as she saw that her foe had reacted exactly as she had hoped.

She began to focus magic into her spell, preparing her final spell. Since it would all be for naught if her enemy realised what she was doing, so she had to work both quickly and subtly. Reaching out with invisible tendrils of magic, she began to weave them into the rocky cliff directly above Nightmare Moon’s head. All it would take was a single tug and hundreds of tons of solid stone would fall, crushing the evil creature beneath an unstoppable avalanche.

As she finished her preparations, she gripped the edge of the spell and prepared to finish it. One pull was all it would take. One yank. One tug, and she would rid Equestria of a great evil forever. One pull. One pull. One…

“Twilight Sparkle, you have a very special gift. I don’t think I’ve ever come across a unicorn with your raw abilities.”

I can’t do it! Twilight despaired. It was just like Nightmare Moon had said. She couldn’t bring herself to hurt Celestia! Even if it wasn’t Celestia in control, she still couldn’t do it.

“Not going to do it?” Nightmare Moon asked, abruptly standing above Twilight. Her hoof pressed against Twilight’s throat, pinning the unicorn to the ground. Twilight weakly tried to escape while Nightmare Moon looked scornfully down at her. “I had hoped you would provide a little more interest, but I suppose that’s all you are capable of.” Her horn began to glow fiercely, a pure white brilliant light that dazzled the eyes with blinding magnificence. “Like I told you last time, nopony’s going to save you.”

Nightmare Moon grinned, her horn glowing with a ferocity equal to the sun itself. “Goodbye.” A stream of pure white fire launched from her horn, the air appearing to ripple and warp from the sheer heat of the flames. In a panic, Twilight threw up a hasty glowing purple barrier, desperately trying to stop the assault. The flames struck the shimmering shield and almost immediate tore through it, Twilight’s hastily constructed defence proving to be no match for the unbridled power at Nightmare’s Moon’s command.

Twilight screamed as the flames washed over her skin, washing her in a veritable baptism of fire. An image of the bipedal creature’s cooked arm appeared before her eyes and her mind went blank as she thought of her entire body becoming like that. But instead of searing pain that would cause her flesh to bubble and burst, she felt like she had been embraced in a gentle embrace. Flames continued to pour down on her, and she could see the surrounding rocks turning black from the heat, but she felt like she stood in a warm summer’s breeze.

The flames suddenly cut off, Nightmare Moon staring down at Twilight in stunned disbelief. “How are you still alive?” she asked, completely mystified. “Your bones should be ash by now!”

Taking advantage of Nightmare Moon’s distraction, Twilight quickly squirmed out from under the despot’s hoof. She managed to sprint several steps away before her leg gave out from under and she collapsed to the ground, accidently cutting her chin open on a sharp rock. The week of constant fighting had taken its toll on her and she was drained physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Another lightning bolt lashed out from Nightmare Moon’s horn, striking Twilight squarely in the back. The lightning bolt shattered the moment it touched Twilight, barely giving even singing the wounded unicorn’s fur. She felt a tiny jolt of pain in her back, but it was no worse than one of Pinkie’s joy buzzers.

“What is happening?” Nightmare Moon rubbed at her horn in uncomprehending disbelief. “Why isn’t my magic working? I should be fully in control of Celestia’s body by now.” A twinge of panic had entered her voice, but it quickly vanished as a snarl spread on her lips, baring her pointed fangs. “I swear, if this is something pathetic like ‘the power of the magic of friendship’, I’m burning this entire country to the ground.”

Twilight coughed a mouthful of blood onto the floor of the canyon, trying desperately to crawl away. She wasn’t sure why Nightmare Moon’s magic had suddenly stopped working, but she didn’t want to stick around in case it started working away. There was the sound of something flying through the air above her head, and Nightmare Moon suddenly touched down in front of her.

“I’ve had enough of this,” Nightmare Moon said, rearing back on her hind legs. Her hooves reflected the sunlight for an instant before they came crashing down, intent on crushing Twilight’s head like a melon and snuffing out her young life. Unable to do anything to stop it, Twilight could only close her eyes and wait for the end.

---

It didn’t come.

As the seconds ticked passed, Twilight slowly realised that she wasn’t dead yet. Cracking her eyes open, the first thing she saw was Nightmare Moon’s face, twisted into an expression of pure rage.

“You… you…” Nightmare Moon snarled, her eyes bulging with anger. Her wings fluttered impotently, their feathers whistling through the air. “You pathetic remnant!”

The creature from the forest had leapt between the two combatants, catching Nightmare Moon in her descent and stopping her in her tracks. His wounds had healed once again, and his muscles bulged as he fought to hold the giant alicorn back even as his spine bent from her weight. Nightmare Moon’s legs were draped over his shoulders and she was unable to bring her fearsome hooves to bear against him.

“~I don’t know what’s going on,~” he said, speaking in a language neither of the mares were able to understand. “~But I do know one thing. Everything that’s gone wrong for me since I came here is because of you! Even if I die, I won’t let you do what you want!~”

“You think you can stop my vengeance?” Nightmare Moon cried out, ferociously beating her wings. Lifting herself back, she was able to get enough distance to bring her hooves into play. Before John could react, her hoof came crashing down with all the force that an enraged near-god could bring to bear. John hit the ground hard and did not move again, bleeding heavily from a gaping hole in his skull.

“You… how dare you?” Nightmare Moon snarled at the unconscious creature, clutching at her chest. Something stuck out her torso, and Twilight squinted at it for a second before realizing that it was Celestia’s own horn! The creature must have picked it up in order to use it as a spear. Strangely, no blood showed from the wound. The horn started to glow with a bright light, its shining magnificence threatening to overwhelm Nightmare Moon’s own darkness. Nightmare Moon’s rage gave way to panic as she desperately tried to remove the glowing horn. “What’s happening?” she cried as she vanished from sight.

Twilight covered her eyes, unable to stare into the blinding light any longer. Something gently brushed against her forelegs and she slowly opened her eyes to see what it was, squinting into the brilliant light. A large pair eyes of stared into her own and Twilight reflexively flinched away before she recognized the kindness that filled the greyish purple eyes. “…Princess Celestia?” she asked.

Celestia nodded, closing her eyes apologetically. “Forgive me, Twilight. I could do nothing but watch as Nightmare Moon hurt you. If I had the time, I would return you to Ponyville to heal your wounds, but I am afraid I cannot stay long.”

“No,” Twilight pleaded, reaching out and brushing Celestia’s muzzle. “Don’t leave me. Please.”

“I’m sorry.” Celestia lifted her hoof, holding it above the horn embedded in her chest. The horn blazed with an inner light while the one on her forehead remained still and inanimate. “I will not be able to contain Nightmare Moon for long. I can already feel her clawing away at my conscious and it’s only a matter of time before she overwhelms me. Before that happens, I must seal myself deep within my old castle within the Everfree. She will not be able to escape there.”

“But-” Twilight protested before Celestia gently but firmly pressed a hoof to her lips.

“There’s no time. When Nightmare Moon said that Canterlot was under attack, in that at least, she was telling the truth. You and your friends must hurry to help Luna, Cadance, and your brother repel them. I feel like this too has Discord’s touch on it.” Reaching back with her teeth, she plucked out one of her feathers before passing it to Twilight. “Take this. The barrier protecting the Elements of Harmony is keyed to my magical signature. Without it, you wouldn’t be able to reach to Elements.”

“But what about you?” Twilight protested, nevertheless accepting the feather.

Celestia smiled sadly, her smile tinged with just a hint of pride. “Don’t worry about me. I’ve always felt that Nightmare Moon was my burden to bear.” A flash of crystal blue shot across her eyes and she stood up straight, stepping away from Twilight. “I have to go. Nightmare Moon has almost broken through my last barriers. If I don’t leave now, I won’t have time to set up the seal.”

“Princess…” Twilight said sadly. She could feel tears developing in her eyes, but quickly blinked them away. She would see her teacher off, not with tears, but with a smile. Her lips quivering and her tears threatening to burst, she nonetheless smiled bravely at Celestia. “Please, be safe.”

The horn in Celestia’s chest blazed brilliantly, consuming the Princess in pure white light. Before her expression was lost to sight, she gave Twilight one final, almost maternal smile. “I am so proud of you,” she said, sounding like a mother talking to her child. “I know Equestria is in good hooves.” The light faded, Celestia disappearing with it.

Twilight nearly broke down and started crying right then and there, but she swallowed her emotions down and forced herself to her hooves. There would be a time for tears later. Tucking Celestia’s feather in her mane, where it would be safe, she turned to make her way back to Ponyville. Catching sight of the creature from the forest out of the corner of her eye, she instead stumbled over to where he lay.

Standing over him, she took a moment to consider the gaping hole in his skull. It looked bad, but it was already starting to heal. He would probably be fully recovered in only a few hours. She momentarily toyed with the idea of leaving him where he lay, but instead slipped her head under his body and slid him onto her back. She still had no clue about his intentions or motives, but at the very least, he had saved her life.

That had to be worth something.

The creature’s arms and legs scraping long grooves in the dirt, Twilight slowly began the long walk back to Ponyville.

---

END PART 1

Comments

[Mother3Forever]

Well, that ended about as well as it could have.

[disgunbegood]

Quite a bit different from the first time I read the ending to this story. Much improved and easier to understand, too. I always wondered why Discord would spark such violent anger at the ponies in his human proxy when he didn't want any of them to get injured. This clears things up quite well. I'm curious to see how this will influence Along the Road to Chaos. If I recall correctly John had next to no role in that one up until now. Then again it has been ages since I read it.

Here are some typos I spotted.

the force of the magical blast throwing her away

a terrible storm building directly directly above the city

[Phoenix999]

So I'm new to this series, but I like where you're going with it.

I looked on your other stories and it seems as if your doing a massive re-write and compiling the entire re-written story on this story, "A Touch of Chaos" right?

[Written Out]

3140652 That's right. The original plan had been for John to sneak away from Ghastly Gorge, now fully possessed by NMM. He would dig Celestia out of the rockslide and drag her away, hiding her in a cave deep in the forest. Then, halfway through part three Princess Luna would show up to rescue her sister after the foals had rescued her from the changeling hive and that would be when NMM's interference would finally be revealed. They would fight, and the magic-nullification thing would give John/NMM an edge until Luna shows that immunity to magic does not equal immunity to an alicorn horn through the chest. That's all scrapped now. And replaced with awesome.

The biggest reason for the change in timing was because it happened so late after the events that the reveal became pretty much meaningless. NMM went from a significant threat who is as much a danger as Discord or Chrysalis to kind of an afterthought who didn't really affect the storyline. Man, did that need to change.

And yeah, I'm going to have to completely rewrite the pony parts of ARC. John's role in the storyline has completely changed from my original vision, so I'm going to have to beat all the plot points in line. He's still not one of the good guys, but he's doing a lot better. Heck, now he actually survives the end of part three, so good for him.

3142494 Pretty much. I'm tempted to delete the other parts entirely, but I might as well leave them up for giggles.

[disgunbegood]

3143491
Yeah, I can see why you would go fo a rewrite. I agree with NMM coming in too late in that original version. Going from "Ha, I was behind everything all along" to "Darn, already defeated" would have made NMM a rather weak villain for all her workings behind the curtains up to that point. Such a late twist that gets promplty resolved doesn't make for a very good ending.

I really didn't saw NMM influence in this at all before. I'd just assumed that you went for a more malovent Discord who wanted some harm to come to the ponies but not outright murder. I gotta say that Twilight's reflection on how for all the vilains she faced none ever tried to kill her adds a very nice touch to this story. It both shows how different Equestria is on a fundamental level from Earth and how savage Nightmare is by their standards. I wouldn't even be surprised if Discord tries to strike a truce through John until Nightmare is defeated.

John's original fate also seemed overly unkind on him. He is the real victim of this whole series as far as I'm concerned. Alone, scared, confused and influenced by powers beyond his understanding he is forced from one confrontation to the next. What few chances of making peace he gets are quickly ruined either by primal fear on his part or the mechanizations of others. Ultimately he loses control on his own self and becomes naught but a puppet.
With the altered storyline he may not be on a path of redemption yet but at least he's in a position to make his own decisions again. I am very much looking forward to what his now freed mind will make of his previous actions and would-be victims.

On deleting the follow-ups to this story: as far as I'm concerned you can leave Paved With Good Intentions as it is. If I remember correctly the new ending of this story does not change that one's plot at all. Unless of course the scenes featuring Twilight returning to Ponyville are featured in that one and not Along the Road to Chaos.

[Poets Dream]

I love how all of this is actually thought up and planned, and not just written out as you go along.

[Beeooow]

YES!!! I just started reading this with growing interest, the fact that John has a chance at redemption sealed the deal!

[light snow]

YES! Love it so much!

[ynfiltra]

nice twist!