Nurture/Nature

by TwoTrenchcoats

Letter 1

The following is one of several loose sheets of patchment that were found in the castle of Princess Twilight Sparkle. They were rolled up and neatly tied with red ribbons and hidden under a loose floorboard in what appears to be a guest bedroom.

It has been confirmed that the writing is that of the princess.

They have been arranged in chronological order (the pages are dated) and were sent to you as soon as their authenticity was confirmed.

The princess herself was nowhere to be found and neither was the young dragon believed to be living with her. There were no signs of a struggle and the door was left unlocked.

Please inform us how you would like to proceed.

***

Dear Princess Celestia,

I address this letter to you even though I know that you will never read it. I'm sure that if you did you would have me locked away, or perhaps banished to Tartarus, or the farthest reaches of Equestria.

Do you remember when I thought that before? When I didn't report to you what lesson I had learned about friendship and thought I would be punished for it? Banished, sent back to pony kindergarten. It's funny to look back on that moment now and think about how young and naive I was. I suppose I'm still young, especially compared to you, but I'm afraid my naiveté has been significantly eroded, if not scraped away completely. I pray that Luna keeps her distance from my dreams for fear she see just how far my mind has turned from the innocence I enjoyed just a few short years ago.

I should preface this with the reassurance that you need not feel any sort of responsibility for my actions. You have shown me nothing but love, kindness and acceptance. There was no flaw in your teachings, nothing that you could have done differently that would have resulted in a different outcome. I believe I would have chosen this path no matter what you did. Even if you found me out and tried to stop me I couldn't ignore the itching question that keeps spreading through my mind.

You have said that my curiosity is my greatest strength. It is also my greatest weakness.

The idea came to me gradually, over the course of several years. It began as a passing thought, an innocent 'what if' that I hardly payed attention to. But then it came up again, a little louder this time, and then again, and again, until it has developed into a wild, frantic obsession that I must see through to the end or else I fear I'll go mad.

Or perhaps I'm mad already. What sane pony would even consider what I'm about to do? What sane pony would take something so special and unique and tear it apart? What would I do if I found myself on the other side of my actions? I don't dare think about it.

This all sounds like I'm about to do something monstrous, but I won't be hurting anyone. I could never raise my hoof against an innocent pony. All I'm doing is conducting an, admittedly very complex, expirement. An experiment that will take years to see the results of.

But I'm patient. I've taken my time to make sure absolutely everything goes perfectly with as little chance for...major error as possible. I always loved to micromanage everything, just ask any of my friends, and this time it's for the best. I've checked, double, triple, and quadruple checked to make sure everything is perfect. I've made checklist after checklist. Spike was starting to notice that I was going through quills and parchment faster than usual, but telling him I was researching something (the truth) eased his suspicion.

I have my control group selected, which I will refer to from here on as Group Alpha. Group Alpha is made up of four pairs of test subjects, labeled Pair A, B, C, and D respectively. They are different races, different genders, from different backgrounds, live far apart from each other; as diverse a selection as I could find. I wanted more but it will be difficult enough to observe them on my own and subjects that fit my criteria are few and far between. Honestly, I'm lucky to have found so many.

Please understand, Princess--I am fully aware that what I am about to do is unethical and inequine. I am also fully aware of the consequences of my actions if I'm caught. I know that what I'm doing goes against everything you've taught me. I'm tearing families apart; betraying all that is close to me. It's selfish, unkind, dishonest, disloyal, and completely devoid of laughter.

But those are not my elements. I am the Element of Magic and there is a magical question that must be answered. A riddle that must be solved. An itch that must be scratched. I won't settle for anything else.

'My faithful student,' I hear you say, 'you could have asked. I would have happily told you all that you wish to know.'

That would be cheating. There's no satisfaction in being told the answer to a riddle you've spent hours struggling over. The satisfaction comes from figuring it out yourself. The rush of excitement when you finally see what was right in front of you all along.

I hope you can understand and somehow forgive me, but even as I write those words I know in my heart that you can't. I wouldn't if I were in your place.

How would I feel, I wonder, if a student of mine did what I am about to do? Would I be repulsed? Furious? The ever-so-dreaded disappointed? Probably. But I don't have a student.

My alarms are going off. It's time.

No going back now. This is the most difficult part of the experiment. But I'm ready.

***

I did it! Oh sweet Celestia I did it! I just slipped right in and did it, and no one saw me! I didn't even have to disguise myself or make myself invisible. I slipped in, did the deed, and slipped right back out without any fuss.

It makes sense. Even with our modern medicine, events like this are still an 'all hooves on deck' kind of situation. So many doctors and nurses running around and not a single one even glanced in my direction. Not even the presence of a princess is enough to distract them, it seems. Admirable, really, and extremely helpful for me.

I am exhausted though. So many telepartations and long term memory spells take a toll on a pony, even an Alicorn apparently.

I'll have to set aside some time to fully feel out the limits of my Alicorn abilities. But first, a hot shower and a nap is in order. Then all that's left to do is to sit back and watch the fruits of my labors start to grow. It will be a long time before I see any results, probably twelve or thirteen years, but I'm patient.

I'm patient.

Author's Note:

Ahh! I'm so excited to get this down! Feedback is always appreciated and I hope you stick around for more of the story!