An Earthling Earth Pony at Celestia's School of Magic: Year One

by Halira

Chapter 2

“I can’t believe we get to room together! What were the chances? I laughed as Bright and I headed toward the dorms directly across the street from the school.

Bright watched me prance and chuckled. “Ain’t no mystery. Ah think she might have been dedicin’ who roomed with who on the spot and already seen us hangin’ around each other. Most the pairings she made seemed ta be ponies who’d been talkin’ ta each other.”

“Ewww! I can’t believe I must be in the same class as you two dir- as you two farmers!”

We turned and saw Prim close by us, making a dramatic gagging gesture. Did this filly have nothing better to do than cause us trouble? I wondered who her roommate was. I hadn’t been paying attention. Bright might know. He seemed to have noticed more than I did.

A red colt walked up beside her and pushed her mouth closed with a hoof. “Now, Prim, dearest sister, making such a face in public is not becoming of one of our stock, nor is it likely to earn the Headmaster’s approval. We must learn to be friendly with the colts and fillies we shall share instruction with. Let us not forget that most of the Element Bearers came from humble roots. I dear say, I believe this one colt made the claim he is an Apple, which makes him closely related to the great Applejack. Is that not so, valued classmate?”

Bright blinked a few times as if trying to figure out how to process who was speaking to him. “Urh, ah’m Bright Pear, and Applejack is mah aunt.”

The red colt smiled broadly and extended a hoof while his assumed sister rolled her eyes. “Good show! I’m Red Tape. I believe you have met my darling sister, Prim Tape. I do apologize for her behavior. She is somewhat disgruntled that she has to attend this academy, but our parents insisted upon it. I fully take her side on that matter and would rather she be enjoying the luxuries of our estate right now, instructed by private tutors. It is I who should be burdened by proving myself, not she. But, alas, my parents take a very traditionalist view to all things.”

“Oh,” Bright replied, clapping his hoof to the rich colt’s. “It’s alright. Mah family is kinda traditional too.”

Red gave a beaming smile as he set his hoof down. “Splendid!” He then looked at me. “And you! An earth pony at the school of magic! What a wonder to behold. I do not believe I have yet to catch your name, good sir.”

Well, Red Tape seemed nicer than his sister. Maybe this was a chance to make another friend.

“I’m-” I began.

“Mister Jones!”

I jumped. “I didn’t do anything!”

Professor Newman approached us and looked down at me. “You will follow me to the Headmaster’s office.”

I backed up a step. “What did I do?”

She raised an eyebrow at me. “Did I say you did anything, Mister Jones? Come along. The Headmaster does not wish to be kept waiting.”

“You should probably promptly make haste if the Headmaster requires your presence,” Red Tape said. “You do not wish to be seen as disobedient, do you?”

“Uh, no. I don’t want to be that,” I agreed.

Professor Newman started walking back towards the school. “Then follow along, Mister Jones.”

I hurried to catch up and fell into a trot beside her.

“Um, so, you’re from Earth too?” I asked.

She glanced down at him. “That should seem obvious. Hominids died out in this world long before ponies learned how to speak.”
.
“Hominids?” I asked in confusion.

She sighed. “Species relative to humans, Mister Jones.”

“Oh, I didn’t know Equestria had those,” I replied.

“Not in many thousands of years,” Professor Newman said.

“So…where on Earth are you from?” I asked as we entered the school building.

She stopped and looked at me. “Mister Jones, I am a citizen of Equestria. Where I was born is a private matter. Do I make myself clear?”

I gulped. “Very clear, professor.”

She sighed. “Don’t be so terrified of making me mad. Let’s say that I needed to get away from all the stress, and the princesses were kind enough to give me something to do that was away from it all. Sure, Equestria has its issues–stuck-up nobles, buildings a little too small for humans, random monster attacks, and let's not forget the traditional annual villain trying to take over the world. Still, I’ll take that over all the things I was worrying about back on Earth. Even if I have to make occasional trips to Earth for these silly games, my life on Earth is still behind me, and I intend to keep it that way. So don’t ask about it.”

I blinked a few times and held up a hoof. “Um…can I ask what you meant about random monster attacks and annual villains trying to take over the world?”

She chuckled, the first legitimate sign of happiness I had seen from the scary professor. “If you make it through your four years, you’ll get to see your fill. Don’t worry; you are safe here. I would say this is the safest place in the city.”

“Safer than in the palace with the princesses?” I asked, not able to keep the doubt from my voice.

“Oh, definitely safer than there. Where do you think most of the villains head to first when trying to conquer this place? The palace is probably the worst place to live in the city if you are concerned about being safe from attack,” Professor Newman answered with a shake of her head.

I hadn’t considered that.

She started walking again. “Come along, Mister Jones.”

The Headmaster’s office was halfway down the second-floor hall and had a large pair of double doors for some reason. They opened on their own as we approached. That was kinda gimmicky, but at least we didn’t have to open them ourselves. They looked heavy. We stepped in.

The room was dimly lit because the curtains were drawn shut, letting in only a tiny sliver of light. The walls were lined with bookcases, which about a quarter of the shelves had scrolls instead of books. The Headmaster sat at his desk at the far end of the room, reading a scroll while writing on another scroll. His staff was leaning against his chair. Professor Applebloom sat beside the desk and waved to them as they entered. The doors shut once they were entirely in the room.

The Headmaster glanced our way. “Please wait just a moment.” He then turned his gaze to Professor Applebloom.

“Applebloom…,” Headmaster said slowly and dryly. “Can you explain to me how our kitchens ended up with ten large crates of apples and an invoice from Sweet Apple Acres requesting five hundred bits? I’m asking you because…well… I’m sure you can fill in the rest.”

Professor Applebloom flinched. “Well…you see, my youngest nephew just started attending here. He’s never been far from home, and ah felt like bringing him a taste of home, ta make him feel good about bein’ in the city. He’s the only foal left out of me, and mah siblings foals-”

The Headmaster stared at her.

“-and the grown ones haven’t started havin’ their own foals yet. Not that ah’m ready to be a granny yet, seein’ as ah’m only forty-seven, which ain’t that old. Forty-seven is like the new thirty-one-”

The Headmaster continued to stare blankly at her.

“-but ah’ve hinted to them that they won’t be young forever and should marry and settle down-”

The Headmaster yawned widely.

“-although mah oldest nephew and his wife have been actin’ kinda secretive lately, so there may be some buns in the oven that-”

“You want foals in your family to spoil, and your nephew, whats-his-name, is the only available one at the moment; I get the idea, but you’re paying the invoice out of your next paycheck, professor,” Headmaster finally said. “Don’t ever bill anything you order to the school again without authorization from me.”

Professor Applebloom flinched again. “Yes, sir.”

Headmaster raised a hand and beckoned us to come forward. We walked up to the desk. The Headmaster pulled out a different scroll and started looking it over.

“That earth pony, hmmm,” Headmaster said as he looked over the scroll. “You present something of a problem with how our current curriculum is set up. Putting you in a class where you’re expected to teleport, transmute things, do fire magic, and so on seems to be setting you up to fail.”

I lowered my head.

“Some artifacts can let you channel your inner thaumic energy much like a unicorn uses their horn. My staff functions for me in that manner,” Headmaster continued.

So that’s how the Headmaster performed magic well enough to be in charge of a magic school. I looked at the staff leaning against his chair. It looked like it was made entirely of blue crystal except for an odd spot in the center that looked like an hourglass made out of some pearly-white stone. I wondered where a human got something like that. That wasn’t something that would just be lying around on Earth, and what was he doing for magic before he got that staff? Did Professor Newman also have something like that? There didn’t seem to be anything obvious on her person.

“I’ve spoken with Professor Neighsay about whether this would be a feasible solution,” Headmaster said, still reading whatever was on the scroll. “However, he says it would take him time to make, and he also does not feel comfortable entrusting such an object into the hooves of a first-year student who hasn’t yet taken his class on artifact safety. That makes it a solution for what to do for future years, but not this one.”

Professor Newman crossed her arms behind her back. “Turnip Jones is one of two scholarship students who aced the magic fundamentals and theory test. He deserves every chance to succeed.”

I’d aced it? Wow…I had no idea. I mean, I felt like I did well on that section, but it had been a very long and complicated section. There’d been a few questions that I’d been very unsure about, and at least two that I literally just guessed about the answer.

Headmaster looked up at Professor Newman. “Who is Turnip Jones?”

“The earth pony,” Professor Newman clarified. Wait, he really had forgotten my name? I assumed the report about me was on his desk. How’d he forget my name?

“What an unfortunate name,” Headmaster mused as he looked back over whatever he was reading. “Let’s see, you mentioned your interest in alchemy ninety-four times throughout your application.”

“You counted?” I asked in disbelief.

He glanced at me. “It was something to amuse myself with.” He looked back down at the report. “Very well. I hate to give special treatment to any student, but it seems that we will be forced to do so in this case, and it is my fault for not having a plan in place for a non-unicorn meeting the requirements for entry. I will not punish you for my oversight. While you will be taking most of the same courses as your classmates, the courses with professors Luster Dawn and Glitter Drops will be delayed until next year. Instead, you will take extra courses in the sciences with Professor Applebloom and artifacts with Professor Neighsay. You may need to do extra work over the summer to catch up with your classmates on the subjects you are missing this year, but you are used to hard work, aren’t you?”

I stood at attention. “Yes, Headmaster, sir!”

He made some notes on a different scroll. “That’s settled then. Professor Applebloom will be your advisor, of course, but Professor Newman will be the one to draw up your altered class schedule. You may report to your dorm. Professor Applebloom, I expect you to report to the kitchen and help the staff figure out what they are going to do with the sudden excess of apples they have. Ten crates of apples take up a lot of storage space.”

“Yes, Headmaster,” Professor Applebloom said with a nod.

He raised an eyebrow at her. “Why aren’t you moving? Get!”

Applebloom got up and ran for the door, which opened on its own just in time for her to not smash into it.

“You two as well!” Headmaster ordered.

“Come along, Mister Jones,” Professor Newman instructed.

Once we were outside the now-closed doors to the Headmaster’s office, Professor Newman looked down on me. “I have some matters to attend to, which include working out your class schedule. You will report to your first class tomorrow with your classmates, as that is my class, and I shall have your schedule ready for you then. You should have no problem finding your way to your dorm room. Don’t dawdle; the groundskeeper who supervises the dorm will already have to repeat herself to you about dorm policies. Don’t keep her waiting overly long to do so.”
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“Thank you for standing up for me in there,” I said. I wasn’t just being polite. I didn’t expect her to speak up on my behalf.

She nodded. “Your scores on that test indicate you understand the fundamentals and theory of magic well. That is a good foundation to build on. While I don’t expect perfection, I expect you to do well in my class, as much of it should be a review for you. Don’t disappoint me, Mister Jones.”

“What did the Headmaster mean by I have an unfortunate name?” I asked.

She raised an eyebrow. “In some circles, Turnip is a slang term for an idiot, which is why I don’t address you as such. I know earth ponies have a fascination with farm produce, but I don’t understand what goes through their heads sometimes. Be on your way, Mister Jones, and don’t be late for my class tomorrow.”

Comments

[harts fire]

a interesting chapter. i would say this is a good story builder.

[Booster Spice]

Very intresting behaviour on the part of the Headmaster.

Ahh, the dichotomy of leadership. Hear Everything, Know Nothing.

It keeps them guessing, and the paranoia makes them make mistakes more easily and often.

As for Turnip wanting to do Magic as an Earth Pony? Looks like hes going to need Advanced lessons from Professor Zecora. Oh boy, is there weird stuff down in self assembling biphasic mixtures even bfore you add in energetics and particulates. I mean, Microwave stripline Runes are bad enough, but when youre using ruby dust to mix and match optical, microwave runes,a nd organic conductors in a three dimentional structure or even time dependant, youre mixing with the big powers. And thats just the stuff Ive heard of on Earth.

[Fireeaters]

Shouldn't the story teaser say "...years after [cataclysmic event], X, Y, and Z are now normal", instead of saying "before", like it is currently?

[Halira]

11821159
There was a typo, but it was that there should have been a comma after before. Still, I'll just change it to after for better clarity.

[AvoidingFever17]

11821077
Indeed
He seems...worrying
Lets keep an eye on him
do hope the storytellers can help

[Fireeaters]

11821160
Wait, how would adding a comma change that it says "[date], years before a cataclysm, ..." into meaning 'after the cataclysm, X happened'? Whatever, I'm glad I helped you slightly.

[Halira]

11821168
"Years before, millions of people..." Years before in this case is a phrase used as a time adverb. It is saying that what is happening in the following clause happened "years before". Just like someone might say "previously" only "years before" is slightly more descriptive. The comma is essential, as without it, the entire meaning is reversed.

[Fireeaters]

11821173
Ah, right, thanks