Source Code

by Nugget27

Why I Shouldn't Be Allowed to Drink in the Woods.

I decided to put the studying of dark magic and its properties on hold for now. I made pretty solid progress the night I got home anyways, and I wanted to spend the time with my students too. Celestia and Luna were tagging along, since Button is a really good negotiator, as in he has good puppy eyes. We all ended up piling into Luna’s personal train car, something that was just finished, and the engineers and interior designers wanted to show it off to us, so Celly’s was set aside. Luna’s personal car was pretty nice, there was an espresso machine, something Luna requested since she really likes coffee now.

It was mostly dark and looked a lot like a smaller, more condensed down version of Luna’s living room, save for the fold up beds in the corner for us. It was mostly for form over comfort, unlike Luna’s living room. There were two couches that were alicorn sized, but one was the size of Celly, and the other was the size of Luna. So I got to snuggle up with Button and Celly on her couch, while Luna sat across from us with a deck of cards. I already sent a letter to Rarity to ask for a commission for Button’s Nightmare Night costume and for my new business suit, which would be a copy of my current suit, but just made with materials.

“I win!” Button exclaimed with a happy little giggle. Luna busted out a deck of cards to help us pass the time, and so far, everypony but me has won at least one round of war.

We’ve had forty seven rounds by the way. Here are the scores:

Button had twenty five points.
Celestia had ten points.
Luna had twelve points.
I had none. Woohoo.

“Feck me, mate.” I sighed as I placed a prince, the second strongest card in the deck besides the princess. I might actually win this round! Button placed down a ten, and Celestia played a five or something. Luna, with a giant, shit eating grin, played Princess and won the round. “Feck,” I sighed. “God dangit,” I chuckled. “It’s like back home, where the only time I start winning anything is by getting drunk.” I whipped out some whisky from my secret stache, before putting it away. I wasn’t going to get drunk in front of my son yet. Just because he will learn what it means to be an Irishman, doesn’t mean he can stomach alcohol like an Irish kid can.

“Where do you even keep that?” Celestia asked.

“I stuck an ice box in your old castle, nice and hidden. I keep my whisky there since it’s one of the few things that reminds me of home, eh?”

“Can you… tell us about your home?” Button asked. Luna set the cards aside and now she and Celestia were watching me intently. There really wasn’t any way for me to get out of this, is there? “You say you don’t originate from Equestria, or even this world, so I’d like to hear about it if you don’t mind telling us.” Button tilted his head too. Darn, so much for me getting ready to say 'no'.

“Yeah, you haven’t really told me much about your world besides the basic history of the last century,” Celestia pointed out.

“We would like to hear it as well.”

“Ah, I never told y’all about my home?” I chuckled. “Feck, sometimes it just slips my mind.” I sighed. “I was born on a small island. Well, relatively small compared to everything else on Earth, but pretty big for an island. The island of Eire, or if you want to call it by my country’s name, Ireland. It was… great. Dublin’s a small place, and I was more of a country boy back home. I lived on a small farm, and went to church, a place where we worshiped god…I was never really sold on the idea of religion, but I took part in the choir in my early days before my father passed, eh?”

I chuckled, good times. “I was practically on my way to actually having a solid job in that, until my father passed away. Had to stop being in the choir so that I could help take care of my younger brothers and sister. Luckily for me, and the rest of us actually, Ma had a pretty good job in Dublin, the capital, so we got by just fine. I just had to watch my siblings, balance school, and balance the new hobby I was picking up now that I couldn’t partake in my church’s choir, coding.” I chuckled. “Ah, we ended up leaving Ireland for a country called America, since a company offered ma a really good job, the same job, but with a higher pay. Actually, we were just about to move before… I ended up in Equestria.

“Ireland… I’ll be real, was kind of a piece of shit. It was raining all the time, it wasn’t very well developed, but it was home and when it wasn’t raining, the countryside was really nice. The folks were fun to hang around at a pub too, lemme tell ya.” I chuckled humorlessly. “Sometimes I do miss a good ol’ Irish storm, eh? It rains in Equestria, sure, but rarely does it ever just match my home. I’ve had an itching for mash potatoes ever since I’ve gotten here, but y’all barely have any potatoes for me to make it with. My pa was a chef before he died, and had a pretty good recipe for them that I still remember.

“I still never really gave up choir, or rather, singing. I loved folk songs, even if I could only really sing them in english, and when I got the chance, I did try to practice. I was gonna use this trip to teach my students how to use Fire, sing some songs from home, and mostly just take a break from developing any spells, spell systems, and generally anything at all. Sometimes, sometimes I would just like to sit back and actually get back into a choir, but I know that isn’t the life I’m going to be leading in Equestria. Magic is more enjoyable to work with, and my passion for singing just was never the same after I dropped choir.”

“Can… we hear you sing?” Luna asked. “You’ve heard me place the flute, it is only fair that I hear you sing.”

“You will when we’re sitting around the campfire, Lulu. You will when we sit around the campfire." Luna puffed her cheeks and started pouting. Celly did too; I guess I’ve never actually or properly sung around them, somehow. Button just looked excited to hear me sing, or was excited to see the Crusaders and Dinky Doo again, even if it hasn’t been more than a week.

---

The chosen meeting place that everypony chose to meetup at was the Carousel Boutique; Rarity’s clothing shop and home. It was since the Crusaders were actually sleeping the night before; Dinky was with them too because I guess her and Sweetie Belle learning magic from me made them pretty good friends. It was also so Rarity could get both mine and Buttion’s measurements for my outfit and Button’s costume. With that said, we got off the train, our traincar was unhitched from the train and left on a side track specifically for it; every town had a separate, off to the side track for royal carriages.

I took a long, deep breath as I hopped off the train. On my back were my saddlebags, Celestia and Luna left their regalia at home, since getting those lost, stolen, or dirty would be really easy in the middle of Whitetail Woods. By the time our camping trip is over, the Running of the Leaves will begin, which we’ll also be partaking in, and Nightmare Night will be right around the corner. Out of the two sisters, Celestia was carrying both hers and Luna’s stuff, since she was just massive, a lot stronger than everypony here that wasn’t Luna, and Luna agreed to carry all of the foals’ camping gear on her back.

It mostly had to do with how she liked foals, and probably did a lot for foals whenever she could, including helping the foals with their nightmares. That’s something she can do; she hasn’t done it with me yet because I said I don’t want her to see what the hell I’m dreaming about. Luna doesn't wanna see my dreams either. She found out what a Xenomorph was and sat shivering, under Celestia’s wing for a solid two hours after that… She hasn’t entered my dreams since. Even if that was just a one-time nightmare, my nightmares are apparently a lot more traumatizing than the average pony’s.

I walked up to the front door of the boutique before knocking on it. I knocked three times, and the door cracked open. “Ah, Source! It’s good to see you, come on in!” Rarity greeted me. Rarity did a quick bow to Celly and Luna before greeting Button too.

“And you must be Button, I know Sweetie Belle keeps going on and on about how she is excited to see you again.”

We walked on into the showroom part of the boutique, where Rarity took our measurements, well, mostly Button’s. She already had mine, but wanted to double check if mine, from when she made me a suit, were still accurate due to my apparently bulkier build. I didn’t feel or think I looked any different, but Rarity noticed, Celly definitely noticed, and Luna just teased Celly for staring at my flanks while I walked. After I got double checked, Rarity took longer to measure Button, which was just enough time for the rest of my students to walk down into the showroom.

“Hey kids!” I waved a hoof.

“Mr. Source!” I immediately got swarmed by four wiggly, excited fillies. I laughed while I got tackled to the ground. Before long, Button also joined in on keeping me pinned to the floor.

“Children!” Rarity shouted. “That is no way to treat your tutor!”

“It’s fine, Rarity,” I said, somehow Sweetie Belle ended up on top of my head, while the others were on my back. “I’m fine, nopony’s getting hurt; the foals are just happy to see me. Can’t be too mad about that, can I?”

“...No, I suppose not, but they still shouldn’t jump on you like that. Especially when they’re older; you could get hurt.”

“Meh, I’ll live if I get hurt. Probably.”

The foals all waved at Celestia and Luna, as they couldn’t really bow while riding on my back. Luna took the time to grab their bags and put them on her back. We all started towards the door, after a quick chat with Rarity. She told us that when we got back, she should be done with our commission, and I offered to pay her money for her work… She said it was for free. I insisted on it, before literally trying to hand her a bag of bits.

“No.” Ok, I am not going to make Rarity take money from me ever again. Rarity is fucking scary when she wants to give you something and wants you to take it.

We stepped outside and started heading towards Whitetail Woods. “Alright, kids, y’all got your permission slips?” Four forms, plus a fifth that Button asked me to sigh, for whatever reason. I took them all, looked them over, and nodded. “Aight, y’all all get to go!” Button soon hopped off my back, since he had at some point got up there, I don’t remember when, and started animatedly chatting with Sweetie Belle. The two started brushing up against each other, Sweetie nuzzled under Button’s chin at one point when an autumn breeze made her shiver a little. I chuckled at that; I am going to be a grandpa one day…

Holy shit, I am going to be a grandpa one day. That is horrifying.

We ended up choosing a tiny little spot next to a lake, it was big enough to have its own beach, but small enough for nopony to actually get hurt by swimming in it if they wanted to. Granted, it was the middle of fall, so nopony should want to go swimming unless they got sick. I had the foals set their own tents up using their magic, to help them practice levitation, and I immediately went to go get firewood while Celly set mine and her tent up. Well, we actually had to separate tents, but sometimes I may just go snuggle with her if I feel like it. Though I’ve got a feeling that most of the tents will go unused.

Apple Bloom had a tent that was big enough to hold her and Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. Though I think Button and Sweetie Belle are gonna get cuddly; it only made sense.

---

“And that is how you set up a tent,” Luna said. She, despite me asking her to, went and helped Dinky get her tent set up. The poor little filly was kinda struggling, though not because her Levitation was bad, no, it turned out her tent was broken the whole damn time, so Luna fixed it and showed her how to properly set it up. Before long, Dinky was snuggled up into Luna’s side, cuddled up under a wing, and happily drawing something while Lulu watched. I chuckled at that. Apple Bloom ended up wandering over to Celestia and started chatting with her like Celestia was a regular pony, probably after seeing me do it so many times, I think the farmgirl figured ‘why don’t I do the same’. Sweetie and Button literally have not left each other’s side and were sitting together and reading a book that Sweetie had brought with her.

So I trotted over to Scootaloo after getting the firewood together, and laid down beside her. She looked bored, probably because she really didn’t have anyone to talk to. “Heya kiddo,” I greeted.

“Hey, Mr. Code.” She started looking around the woods, she started looking just a little scared. Despite the fact that there were two alicorns, a semi-competent unicorn, and a whole bunch of unicorn foals, I think Scootaloo might just be a little nervous about being out in the woods. Especially as the Sun started going down, courtesy of Celestia and Luna. All the foals started laying on their backs while Luna adorably tried getting them to name constellations and almost squealed each time a foal not only pointed one out, but got the name right without her help.

“Ya holdin’ up? You look a little… bored. Wanna…” I hummed. “I can give you ideas for how you could get your cutie mark.”

“That… would be cool,” so I told her about trying to do tricks on her scooter. Stuff like front flips, barrel rolls(using her wings to help her do that, even if she can’t actually fly yet). Anyways, it was a fun little time, and made me realize just how little me and Scootaloo actually have in common. She’s still a good kid, and she clearly enjoys my company if her joining me and knocking me on my ass with my other students was any sign of that. Maybe it’s because I’ve got nothing to talk about besides Celly, magic, and basic everyday stuff. Scootaloo wants to learn how to fly, how to get her cutie mark, and adores Rainbow Dash.

We ended up reading a book, despite Scootaloo saying it was some egghead stuff. It was actually something I rewrote, an attempt at bringing a book from home, since it was one I read all the damn time as a kid. I remembered every little bit of it with my soul, and never planned on publishing it; it was meant solely for me. It was Where the Red Fern Grows. I remember every bit in my heart, soul and mind. It was about some kid in America, back before humanity fully conquered it. I rewrote it and based it on griffins, since they actually have a very similar relationship to dogs as humans. Ponies obviously had dogs, but most didn’t due to how different their diets were.

I suppose on Equus, predators stick together? There were Diamond Dogs, but those were different from regular dogs. There were specific breeds, a majority of which don’t exist, such as the husky… I dunno how to feel about that one. I met one once, and it was a joy to be around… Louder than I am when I get drunk, lemme tell you, my ears were bleeding.

Anywho, Scootaloo was immediately hooked despite the griffin being… a griffin and not a pony, or the hunting bits. In fact, she loved them a lot. We damn near read through the whole thing, before Celestia called everyone to the campfire to start roasting marshmallows… I just realized how enthralled I can get while reading this fun little book. I forgot that I wasn’t human for just a moment. I saw Button use a Fire spell damn near perfectly, and light the fire pit.

“Nice one, son!” I cheered. Button raised his head with pride. He’s getting damn good with magic and it’s only been a week since I found him. Christ, he will be able to kick my ass by the age of fifteen, I swear.

“You’ve got to read that to Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom from the start sometime,” Scootaloo hopped beside me as I trotted. “I love how close griffins are with dogs. You seem to know quite a bit them-”

“Heh, I always wanted a dog, growing up. Never could, getting meat in a country full of ponies was kinda expensive, and dogs eat meat.” Scootaloo grimaced slightly at that. “Doesn’t stop me from wanting to get a dog now, though. Seriously, dogs are great. Depending on the dog, it can make your day, or simply just put a smile on your face. I know you’ve played with AJ’s dog, that never fails to make you happy, does it?”

“I do always leave a little happier after just petting Winona.”

“That’s dogs for ya… mostly. If you see a wild dog, don’t approach it, those things can be dangerous. Any ol’ pet dog? Sweet little fellows.” I chuckled as I set my book back in one of my saddlebags. I haven’t even shown that to Celly yet, I wanted to read that to her and Button during Hearth’s Warming.

“You’ve gotta tell me how that book ends,” Scootaloo said, she actually fluttered beside me in excitement. I had a thought, but put that aside. “It has to have a happy ending, right?”

“Oooh…” I chuckled. Yeah no, the ending is not for the faint of heart. “Eh… that would ruin the story. It wouldn’t be fun if I spoiled the whole thing for ya, eh?”

“I suppose not…”

“I can make you a copy, and maybe you can read it to Bloom and Belle, eh? Maybe get a cutie mark in being a narrator, then you can read cool books like this one all the time. Even Rainbow reads every now and then, even if her choice in literature is… foalish. Though I can’t say much, where I’m from, this book is made for ten year olds.” I’m lucky that I didn’t grow up reading Watership Down, if I did, I would’ve traumatized Scootaloo by the third chapter.

We settled down, and ended up roasting marshmallows with everypony else… It was relaxing.

---

“Source,” I looked up from something I was showing the foals; somehow ponies have graham crackers, chocolate, and marshmallows and somehow never came up with s’mores. I swear, these ponies, they have all the ingredients for such cool shit and they can’t come up with s’mores? I couldn’t not show the foals how to make s’mores. Hell, they loved them because it was literally just a shitload of sugar, and that is completely understandable.

I’m not above just packing away what is essentially sugar into my mouth. It tastes good even if it’s not good for me.

Luna was watching me, Celly too. “I believe we had a deal on the train ride here.” She said, tapping her shoulder with a hoof. It was almost so close to a human gesture that I had to blink a few times and remind myself that ponies are weird as balls.

“Uh… what would that deal be?” I was playing dumb.

“You heard me play the flute once, so let me hear you sing.”

“I won’t sound good.”

“You were in a choir,” Celestia pointed out. “Clearly you were proficient in it.”

“That was when I was a wee lad, my voice has gotten a lot deeper since I’ve sung in a choir,” granted, I knew how to sing with a deeper voice. I just wanted to play stupid.

“Wait, you can sing?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Uh… that is debatable.”

“Source,” Luna gave me the stink eye. “Do I have to pounce on you in front of all your students?”

“...No. Please don’t. You tickled me for six minutes straight after I had a fork full of mac and cheese. I think I had a noodle stuck in my nose for an hour; that wasn't fun, having salt and pepper in my nose.” Or garlic powder, that wasn’t fun either.

“Then sing. You said you would when we lit the campfire.”

“Well, alright.” I took a deep breath, before levitating some spare firewood over. I smacked it with my hoof, and nodded. It’ll have to replace my need for a drum, since I can’t really stomp my hooves on grass to do that. “This is a song from my home of Ireland, lads. I have to sing this one.” I took a deep breath. “In the merry month of June from me home I started.” I started to let go of any attempt at controlling my accent. Fuck, I teleported myself a pint of whisky, chugged it all and started singing with an accent so strong that I’m not even sure if I was understandable. Soon, everypony was clapping their hooves to the beat while I sang my silly little song. Honestly, it was fun to be singing again. Luna started clapping her hooves a lot and tried keeping pace with me when I got to the last chorus while trying to match my accent. It didn’t work, since she ended up stumbling.

“Buck.” Luna grumbled, she was out of breath, which was odd since she was a flute player. I suppose trying to match an accent that apparently nopony’s heard before, while singing Ireland’s spiritual national anthem probably wasn’t the easiest thing in the world. I was now drunk, if you couldn’t tell, and I was having a great ol’ time. I kept singing various shanties and folk songs, I even magicked up more whisk from my stache and decided to sing about the wonders of it.

“For sinking your sorrows and raisin’ your joys!” I finished.

“Neigh, sing that again, Source, we shall sing with thee!” Luna raised a hoof. I was really drunk at this point, so I probably had a gallon of whisky at this point. Either way, I did an encore and Luna joined.

“Then stick to the cratur’ the meetest thing i’ nature-”

Yeah, Luna ended up having so much fun that she forgot to speak more modernly. In fact, she also got a hold of my whisky somehow, and I don’t know why. In my drunken haze, I could tell Celestia was smiling and shaking her head at the time same. Same time. Yeah, I think I might feel this in the morning, or not. It depends on how good my healing spells are. I think in a more private setting, Luna being drunk would be fine, but she was in front of a bunch of foals, singing silly little Irish songs with me deep into the night.

Sweetie Belle even joined in our third rendition of the Humours of Whisky. She has a nice voice-”

I fell asleep while using a sleeping Luna as a pillow. We had a drinking game, I think, and I won forty shots ago…

I’ve had too much whisky; my head hurt more than my horn did when I was first using magic. I woke up covered in foals too, so I couldn’t go throw up… Actually, I didn’t need to. I just had a really bad headache. One healing spell later and I no longer had to face the consequences of my actions! Except Luna hitting me in the head for somehow beating her in a drinking game, when alicorns have a higher alcohol tolerance than normal ponies do.

Luna, I am Irish, you will never out-drink me, I can’t even call you a bitch, I love you too much to do that. You… Feck, I can’t come up with anything. Oh!

“Luna, you are a dork.”

Thwack. Ow.

Comments

[Booster Spice]

Im english, so I only know two Irish songs.

Fairytale of New York

and

Irish Rover.

So many folk songs sung by small bands in local pubs and I cant remember any of them.

Pub, shop, pub, estate agent, pub, undertakers, pub, hardware store, pub, post office, pub, grocers, pub, butchers, pub, minimarket, pub I think one side of the main street in town was. I beleive I mande a mistake as to where two pubs were side by side.

[Maze Warmhoof]

This was great! Has been a hot minute since I listened to The High Kings, definitely a good way to perk up the afternoon! Gonna indulge in more Colm though

[0thefool]

Damn, what I wouldn't give to have healing while on hangover xd

[FoxyLove]

“Luna, you are a dork.”

Thwack . Ow.

Well Source, you did deserve that.

And Yes, Princess Luna is a Dork. But she is a loveable dork!

[SethFilms]

11863247
100% loveable dork

author: keep it up my dude!!!! plus i love the Ireland music!

[f0st3r21]

“No.” Ok, I am not going to make Rarity take money from me ever again. Rarity is fucking scary when she wants to give you something and wants you to take it.

I’m sure Source could stealthily dragon fire that into her sock drawer or something with a funny note, “I guess you got paid anyway ;p” Not sure if that would smolder the socks…

That there Button has some serious game. I guess Rarity will get into the royalty one way or another sister of a princess.

[Diamondized]

Luna, I am Irish, you will never out-drink me-

I've watched way too much RTgame lately. My mind immediately went to 'You can't out-race me, and you will never over-pass me! People used to call me the Drift King back in college, you know!'

[Bruuuuuuuuh]

11863490
Their is no such thing as to much RTgame

[Ryshinki]

Love these songs.

[Luckyfanisaac]

Button just looked excited to hear me sing, or was excited to see the Crusaders and Dinky Doo again, even if it hasn’t been more than a week.

Shouldn’t that be Sweetie Belle?

I remember every bit in my heart, soul,(—— and mind.

I’m lucky that I didn’t grow up reading Watership Down, if I did, I would’ve traumatized Scootaloo by the third chapter.

At least it’s not The Great Gatsby. I spent 30 minutes on page two and I still didn’t understand what was going on.

Sweetie Belle even joined in our third rendition of the Humours of Whisky. ——)”She has a nice voice-”