My Little Rogue Trader

by Tyrannosaurus_Tux

2 - Ancient Pact

Following the quick peck on my lips, my senses froze. I heard a giggle.

"Does that answer your question?"

More giggling. Like chimes. I join in with a light chuckle, like my lightheadedness. In truth, I was a little giddy. I rubbed my mouth. The women and the pony statues seemed now to mockingly look on as if they knew. I laughed again, and then said, experimentally, "Yes... dear. I believe you have made that quite clear. Any other surprises I should know about right now?" In truth, I'm not sure how much more I could handle right now.

"Well," Twilight said with a little uncertainty. "The others are sweeping the ship as we speak. We want to make sure there aren't any more would-be assassins or saboteurs hiding somewhere." I blink. My cheer vanished. The butterflies that were fluttering in my stomach turned to ash.

I looked down at the pony in my arms. She looks back at me. "Others?" I dared ask. There's... no. It can't be.

Twilight reached up and tapped my nose with a hoof. "Your other wives, silly." The big, empty spots of her eye seemed to expand outwards, engulfing everything as I fell back onto the couch. It was very plush, as was the pony in my lap.

Something in my nose causes me to sneeze, jolting me back awake. I breathed. I was still in the... giant fountain room. I should see what it was called. Twilight was putting away a feather. I rubbed my nose and coughed. Twilight grinned bashfully. "Sorry," she said. "It might all be a bit much right now."

I leaned back again. Wives. Hopefully still in the single digits, if she's sincere. Speaking of surprises... "Lord Captain. Voidship," I remembered. "Bridge. Mercy of the Stars. I saw stars out of the window." I looked at Twilight, who had climbed back onto the plush, red couch. "Are we..." I wondered. "Are we in outer space?"

That caused a new series of giggles. "Yes," Twilight confirmed. "This ship, this wonderful ship, our home to travel the universe..." She sighed. "Alas, our home was our fortress, and we were attacked where we thought we were safe." She hugged me, then withdrew. "I'll see to it personally that no daemon ever steps foot on this ship again, Edo. I promise." She looked down, sullen. I needed to calm myself again, so I grabbed my little wife pony and held her to myself, while I thought.

Daemons? They must've hit me especially hard. "Red skin, black horns?" I asked, jokingly. Twilight snorted. "Right. I'll learn about them later."

Slowly, Twilight admitted, "These ones were more blue... but that's not important right now." I nodded. I rubbed her ears, and she hummed.

"These titles I seem to have... 'Lord Captain' and 'Rogue Trader'... I can figure out the first, I think," I wondered aloud. "I'm married to a Princess, and I'm the Captain of this ship." I look around at the opulence around me. "I'm a Rogue Trader, which means I'm insanely rich. I mean... look at this place. Am I a rebel, or something?"

More giggles. Twilight rubs her face against mine. "Sometimes. You have a Warrant of Trade, which is like a Privateer contract. You get to go above and beyond. Your duties as Rogue Trader... well, we'll talk about that later." She leaps off of me, and that's when I notice Polarscale with a new canteen. He must be really quiet when he wants to be.

He hands it to me with more of that synthetic voice, still sounding really unnatural to me, "Adjustments made. Feedback requested."

I took the cap off and drank some of this new water. No aftertaste. I nodded. "Good," I encouraged. A small smile from Polarscale. With a deep breath, I added, "Have you anything to report about the condition of the ship?"

Polarscale bowed, and stated, "This vessel is free of any and all intruders. The Quartermasters and the Deck Militias have completed their sweeps." After a pause, he added, "The Princesses and the Hassian Mercator Guard are standing down from combat alert. The Seneschal and the Princesses are on their way back now."

Sounds important. Just... one question, though. One I'm... sure I can no longer avoid. "Polarscale," I began. "How many wives do I have?" I rubbed my head... as if that would suddenly bring the memories back. "What kind of man am I that I have more than one wife?" I wondered to myself. An idea was forming in my head, but it was not one I liked. A vision of a man, upon a throne of gold bars, draped in mares, women, and diamonds. A vision of a man who demanded physical affection, by the authority of some oversized gilded crown upon his head. A paragon of arrogance and entitlement. The image of me in my mind showed his teeth in a predatory smile, one hand on a rump, and the other on the hilt of a pearly sword.

The image made me harden my eyes in a scowl. If that's the sort of man I was before, then I was glad he's dead. I tilt my head at the thought. I listened to the Magos as he gave his reply. "Five, including present company, Lord Captain. Princesses Twilight Sparkle, Silver Sword, Azure Fire, Forest Grace, and Cherry Heart."

All of them Princesses?

He motioned to the portrait of me and my... wives, above the bath and fountain, and I started to see which might be which. My brain itched more intensely. Twilight Sparkle, obviously, was to the top right of me, followed by another alicorn with a serious expression, gray mane, silver mane, and a scar over her left eye, which was blue, like ice. Silver Sword, I guess. Another was an pale pink-colored alicorn, with red-brown eyes, red mane, and rather round ears for a pony. Could that be Forest Grace? Still another was a mare with a red coat, golden eyes, and narrower ears. For some reason, I wanted to say that was Cherry Heart. Azure Fire, finally, had a blonde bun, pale blue fur, and green eyes. All alicorns.

It was as though my head were on fire. I'm sure my current company would notice if smoke were to be coming out of my poor skull. I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I looked up into Polarscale's eyes. "Is the Lord Captain remembering?" He asked. I rubbed my forehead.

"No," I admitted. "I'm just wondering what... kind of man I was... I am to command all this, be this wealthy, and have five wives. Am I an awful person, Polarscale?" This question clearly took Polarscale aback, since he lifted his hand from my shoulder, and his normally hard eyes softened, trying to find the words to my question. I looked over to see Twilight Sparkle, distraught, with her mouth open, and eyes wide.

I heard a distant elevator, but this couldn't wait. "Lord Captain," Polarscale said, diplomatically. "You are a most singular person, even among the eccentric members of the Rogue Traders." So there were more. A voice in my head wondered if they were attacked, too. I grimaced but then grinned. If I had the power here...

Hooves approaching. I looked into Polarscale's uncertain eyes. "Magos," I said in a louder voice, "I command you to tell me if I'm been a womanizing piece of—"

A stampede of hooves, wings, and horns barreled me over, and I found myself surrounded by mares. Giggling, grinning mares. The same faces that I saw in the painting. There's mixed feelings in my heart. Disgust at myself. Comfort from the mares. Uncertainty about it all. The mares were chattering excitedly, and I couldn't keep track of what was being said. I shuddered and sighed. I did see that Twilight looked at us sadly, even if the impromptu pile of affection gave her a smile. After... allowing myself to enjoy the attention for a minute or two, I sat back up and saw a new guest in my quarters.

Another dragon, talking to Polarscale, yet not a cyborg... that I could see. His purple-pink scales caused me to look between him and Twilight. I could also see light green scales on his jaw and head-fin things. He wore a navy uniform, full of medals, and looked as broad as a barn, even if Polarscale stood a little bit taller. He spoke up, authoritatively, "Ladies, I have some bad news from the Magos." This got the attention of everyone present, a feat to be sure. "It has come to my attention that the Lord Captain... while he was able to recover in a physical sense, there is still some damage. Ladies, if you please..." He waited for the pony pile to disperse respectfully. Then, he continued, "It would seem that Edo... is suffering from amnesia." All eyes turned to me, the new ones dumbfounded, but the new dragon continued, "So, respectfully, I would ask that you not... overstimulate the Lord Captain at this time."

I took a deep breath and looked at the new dragon expectantly. "On that note... Edo," the dragon continued. "I am Spike Sparkle, Seneschal to the Hassian Dynasty." He smiled. "That means I'm your right-hand dragon in affairs of state and the ship." With a pause, he added, "Other than Magos Polarscale, that is." The aforementioned dragon's mouth twitched in a smirk but for a second, something I almost missed. "You've already... re-acquainted yourself with the Princesses and the Magos, as well as the Ship Navigator and the Psyker Primaris." I blink, not knowing what in the hell those are. Polarscale rolled his eyes, and Spike cleared his throat. "I realize that you... don't remember, so I should say Ameliki and Amber Sight." I nodded, then laughed breathlessly.

"As to your earlier concern," addressed Polarscale. "Suffice for our purposes to note that your current marital status is owed in no small part thanks to... extraordinary circumstances."

I leaned back into the cushion, rubbing my forehead. I can hardly notice the brain itch anymore, but... extraordinary circumstances? I took a deep breath and sighed, then started to laugh loudly. I lean back on my head and run my hands through my hair. I cleared my throat, then said, "Forgive me, but 'extraordinary circumstances' have been revealed to me left, right, and center for my entire time awake here. I'm in outer space, I'm some kind of space pirate with a spaceship, I have five princess pony wives, I have two burly dragon servants, a guy with a jewel on his forehead, a psychic griffon, a private army, and what else?"

Looking up, and scratching at his neck, Spike nervously chuckled and said, "A great many things, Rogue Trader... and that's just on the Mercy of the Stars."

My brain itched again. "Of course," I remarked. "A full briefing will probably take a bit of time. Only a few more questions for now." I looked at the portraits again. The one of the man in the golden armor and the sun Princess. That's going off her sun mark on her flank, anyway. I took a look around, and the ponies around me had marks of their own; stars, a rapier surrounded by colors... I lifted a finger to point at the portrait, and asked, "I'm getting the feeling that those two are my bosses. Am I right?" Everyone followed my gaze and more than one nodded in agreement.

"That's..." Spike thought aloud. "One way to put it. That is a painting of the Emperor of Man and Princess Celestia... who is known to all as the Solarch."

So are all these alicorn ponies royalty, then? More questions. My brain itched again. A new question. "The Emperor of Man... he got a name?" You asked aloud.

"Uh," Spike sounded. "You told us you figured it out one time."

Darn. The itch is intensifying. A new voice at my side, one of the new mares. "Are you alright?" she had asked, softly. She was at my side during the operation, with the... awful rubber snake thing.

Unable to articulate properly with the sensation in my head, I could only mutter, "Brain itches. Memory ghosts." I closed my eyes to fight this sensation, but as soon as I raised my hands to rub my scalp, I heard a sound not unlike the lighting of a candle, combined with a resonant humming. I raised my head to the sensation of something new, something like... a massage? No, massaging my brain doesn't sound quite right, but the itching sensation is growing ever fainter. I opened my eyes again to see that the ponies' horns were alight, and their glowing auras matched the color of their eyes.

"What is this?" I couldn't help but wonder.

Twilight grinned. "Magic." She explained. "Good ol' magic. They're good students." She motioned to the others. The one I think is named Forest snuck a quick kiss. I blinked as all my wives giggled. I shivered.

"Well," Spike began. "Looks like you're in good hooves. Polar and I should be going now."

I held up a hand. "Spike... Seneschal Spike?" I asked. He nodded. "Could you... prepare an announcement? They need to know." He nodded and then departed with Polarscale. We watched them depart, and then I sighed. The ponies around me surrounded me, like trying to blanket me from my new reality. To be honest, it was working.

The pony, Azure Fire, leaned in close and asked, "Art thou sure telling the ship of your condition a good idea?"

I thought. "No," I decided. "But trying to pretend otherwise is going to be more bother than the trouble I'm already in with my lost memory." Azure sighed and hugged my arm. I patted one of her legs in return.

Cherry Heart, meanwhile, rested against my back, wedging herself between me and my cushion. She said to me, "We're here for you... even if we have to start over, we're here for you."

My eyes misted. I fought to keep my breathing steady as I said, "Thank you, thank you..." The rest of the ponies made it their job to get as close as they possibly could to me, sharing their warmth and their softness with me. Slowly, I realized that I could feel all five of their heartbeats. We remained like that for a while, slowly breathing. I focused on their heartbeats, and how they sounded compared to mine. Soon enough, however, there was something that would break up this little moment of ours.

Namely, the need to walk to a restroom. I roused, apologizing with, "I think I might've drank too much water."

Silver Sword was the first to get up and open the door to the restroom. Or, the "Refresher" as the sign above the door said. I huffed through my nose. "Help me up," I asked. Gently, I was raised to unsteady feet, and I was able to take a few weak steps toward the bathroom, after which I was able to use handholds on various surfaces to steady me. After I had finished my business there, I was able to walk out unsteadily back onto the floor of the fountain bathtub room. There, I saw the girls with what could only be my day clothes; a rather expensive-looking long coat and pants, black with gold patterning on them. As I approached, I noticed that this was the same humans, ponies, and other creatures patterning from the walls. Before I could reach for the coat, though, I was handed some sort of one-piece, form-fitting suit. I took it in my hands, and looked at Twilight Sparkle.

"It's an armored undersuit," she explained. "You were wearing one just like it when the daemons attacked, and it saved your life."

I breathed, then fiddled with it. I thought aloud, "Might as well wear armor over it, too."

Giggling, Twilight stated, "We'll get to that. One thing at a time." I followed Twilight into the carpeted bedroom, where I took off the white sleeping garments to slip into the weird body glove. My brain itched.

"It... regulates my body temperatures, right? I think I remember that," I said aloud. Twilight beamed as she nodded her head. "I think I can remember things slowly, but my brain itches when I do. Is that normal?"

Twilight bit a lip. "No," she said. "At least, I don't know if it is. We'll just have to see." I zipped up the front collar to close the body glove, which fits... well, like I expected it to. Twilight reared up and placed a hoof on my torso. She looked steadily into my eyes. "You have to tell us if anything is wrong, okay?"

I nodded and smiled, though... I looked around at my ponies, all holding a piece of clothing for me to put on. The dress shirt, I took from Silver Sword. I thank her with a nod. I noticed the soft fabric had some toughness to it. This wasn't a flimsy silk cloth. Then, the "pantaloons" as Forest called them. I notice a few holsters and pockets, barely discernable at a glance. Then, the coat. More pockets and holsters. A normal-looking belt goes over my coat. Socks and boots. Then, "genuine Kraken-hide gloves to go with your genuine Kraken-hide coat", as Azure said.

Finally, the hat, which to my sight seemed to be excessively large and held an enormous amount of large feathers. I asked, "Why would I wear that ridiculous thing?"

The ponies looked at each other and said, "It has the presence to match yours." I sighed and put it on. To my surprise, there was a hard lining inside the hat, as if it doubled as a helmet. Probably for the best if something like those "meta-physical" enemies come calling again. I swung my head to and fro to try and knock the hat loose, but it stayed on. Must be magic.

"It's magic," clarified Twilight Sparkle. With that bit of uncertainty out of the way, I could notice that the other members of my... family were also dressing up in their own outfits, suitably... piratey, I suppose. Coats with... cutie marks(?) (My brain itches) on them, similarly large hats... And they even carried weapons on their persons, namely swords. I looked at my own hands, covered as they were in that alien leather. I ran my left fingers over my right palm.

Speaking of which, Silver Sword waltzed up to me, bowed, and offered a scabbard with a fine sword in it, saying, with a smirk, "Perhaps your fingers would remember their old strength better..." Her eyebrows raised. "If they grasped your sword?"

From my sides, I could hear a snicker from Twilight and an accusatory "Nerd," from Azure. It itched my brain. I focused. A phrase came to mind. Something that actually broke through the fog and into my waking memory.

"Dark have been my dreams of late," I recounted. That phrase seemed to light up the eyes of those around me. "I remember... something, " I admitted. Then, my focus went back to the sword in the scabbard, held up by a gold aura. I reached, touching the round pommel. It was onyx black, shining, inlaid with golden images of ponies prancing with... me? No, there were other humans. The handle was next, rich-colored wood in a nice, oval shape. I grasped fully and pulled gently. The metal made a sound like a ring, somehow saying hello again. I pulled the sword free from the elaborately decorated scabbard.

The double-edged blade gleamed in the artificial light as well as the starlight shining from my bedroom. It was silvery, yet it shone like steel. I could see colors inside of it, all the colors of the rainbow as if it were crystalline. There were words inlaid upon the length, but I could not read them. Azure Fire took the scabbard and placed it upon my belt. She recited, "My name is Pagtum, for I was made in remembrance of the eternal alliance between the races of Equestria and Men."

That itched something fierce. I could recall... a room, Twilight, golden light, words of promise... a kiss... "An eternal alliance," I mumbled as I carefully sheathed my sword, Pagtum. I looked to see Twilight and the others looked at me, expectantly.

"To the bridge, Lord Captain?" She asked. I nodded, and took a few more steps, more confidently on less shaky legs.