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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
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I would say the more the merrier, but come on in I thought they be great with one another.
The pacing for this story is wonderful though there were a few weird typos in this chapter. Excited to see him deal some karmatic justice to those thugs i wonder if they will be ocs.
Since this story has a chrysalis tag i assume she comes to him for a deal or finds one of the copies of his book.
Or just a random meeting in the everfree or wherever. :P
I am interested to see where this goes.
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All you can do is wait and see :p
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Oh No! Woe is me! How will i manage the wait!? ;p
I am here for it.
*Diamond*
*word's*
*That*
*Well*
*assailants*
You didn't take the time to edit spelling mistakes?
OK, I've got to say your spin on Rarity was not bad at all. Though I am curious as why there were thugs after her at all.
I believe it should be 'his rather elegant top hat'.
Not sure what you mean here.
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Thank you both for pointing these out. Seems my spelling program went a little wonky and didn't do it's thing. x.x
I hope you have a food night, dear. i think that food should be good
An enjoyable tale so far and it's now added to my list of tracked stories.
I do enjoy HiE and I find your take on it filled with potential. However, there are a few problems I'd like to point out in an effort to help you further your skill and the quality of the story itself.
I've noticed some problems with punctuation or spelling. Though the spelling seems to be more of a word or two getting jumbled, as if something had been pasted in or the keyboard got a few extra letters in. I can still easily read through but it might be a good idea to review previous chapters.
The other issue I've experienced is in a bit of the delivery. Most sentences are worded in such a way to suggest a first person story from Kalfu's perspective, yet a following sentence is worded as if it's third-person or feel it simply jumps to another person's view. Some of these sentences only need to be worded a little differently and it should clear up nicely.
Outside of this, I have no complaints. You don't really NEED an editor, but they can help if they're available. Otherwise, reviewing what you've written once or twice will help. And I speak from experience. A lot of little things can escape you.
I enjoy how you portray several of the characters and look forward to future chapters. Thanks for posting this. Keep up the good work!
I've known it for years but I still can't get past how the 're' in macabre is silent
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I have actually had gator stew myself. They use the tail meat as that part is the most tender. Half of my family is from Louisiana. So I know all about 'coon cooking' as that call it xD And before you all get bent out of shape, that is what they call folks in the most southern rural parts of the state. No matter the color of their skin. So calm down. :p
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I've tried gator myself. Just gotta appreciate good cooking
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I’ve actually had gator nuggets and they taste like chicken actually really good