Three Mares, Brain Injury, And A Dream

by Nyronus

Chapter 1 - "What tangled webs we weave—"

Hiss!

BONK!

Hiissss!

BONK!

HISS!

BONK!

... hiss?

BONK!

Chrysalis… was not having a good time.

This was outrageous! How dare those elements of harmony dare to do this to her! This affront would be repaid tenfold with vengeance wrought across—

BONK!

Curses!

BONK!

This was absurd! Obscene! She was Chrysalis the Unbroken! Last of the true changelings! CONQUERER OF THE SUN HERSELF, AND SHE WOULD FIND WHATEVER PATHETIC GOD HAD CONSTRUCTED THIS FARCE AND WRING THEIR N–

BONK!

Chrysalis stumbled drunkenly to the side.

Into a tree.

Snow promptly fell on her, burying her on the spot.

It wasn't that being spiritually slammed with the universal, unconditional love of those Elements of Harmony (she resisted a gag, lest she be bonked again) every time she had a spiteful thought was painful. It wasn't. In fact, it was filling, and disorienting, and… pleasant, and like getting, well, bonked on the head with a drunken love hammer.

… But it was utterly humiliating!

Chrysalis flinched and waited. Nothing? Well, at least she was given – no, not given, more like not robbed of! – the dignity of self-pity.

Grumbling, she extracted herself from the snow drift and stumbled onward. She wasn't one to give up easily, but it's a little hard to plot revenge when said plotting was rebuked by an instant love hammer! It was galling. This was like a punishment that pink two-bit relationship-advice-columnist of a princess would cook up!

Wait, had Cadance cooked this up? No, that walking greeting-card of a princess was far too daft. This was intricate! There must have been some way around this control, but every time she tried to figure it out, she got bonked!

It was insidious!

She could actually appreciate a design so utterly devious. Perhaps she could use something like this—

BONK!

And she promptly forgot what she was even thinking about, and staggered drunkenly around in the snow for a few moments. Again.

Okay, Chryssy, (a nickname only she was allowed to use for herself, because if anyone else did – er, she'd be miffed at them. No bonk? Good.) focus. Positive thinking! Stay positive and stay unbonked! Sure, she had been cursed with... whatever this situation was, but there were upsides! She had all the love she could ever want, for one thing, even if she couldn't do anything bad with it.

Plus, she had escaped! Tirek and Cozy might be trapped in stone, but the elements had – for reasons that were no-doubt idiotic and saccharine and disgusting – spared her.

More than spared her! There was a fake statue in her place, and she'd been thrown clear of that whole mess! It was utterly perfect! All of her enemies thought she was dead, and she was free to... free to, um, live. Live in peace. And not harm a soul.

Phew. Close one. She could feel the bonk coming.

Honestly, the bonking seemed so arbitrary. She hadn't figured out its logic, yet. Something about negative thoughts, but the details eluded her. It seemed like whenever she got too angry, or hateful, or whatever, here comes the harmony-hammer! Calmed her right down.

Humiliating, treated like a nymph with self-control issues. She was perfectly in control! At all times! If anything this infernal bonking was making it worse! She just needed a proper log to vent to and she would be fine! No infernal blasts of confounding love were necessary!

Chrysalis slowed her stumbling and shivered. Was she really fine? Was nostalgia for hiding in a swamp, ranting at driftwood really the sign of the regal power of a true changeling queen? Perhaps a little course-correction wasn’t the worst thing?

What! No! This insidious, despicable curse was getting into her head! She was a tyrannical, all-powerful Queen, and she would—

BONK!

And so it was that Chrysalis had wasted the better part of two days in the Everfree Forest, not quite sure what she was doing. It was so bad that she was actually grateful not to be bonked while she took care of foraging food for herself. The harmony hammer provided love, but changelings had to eat regular food, too, and it seemed there were limits to what it would provide for her.

Cheapskate. If it was going to keep her prisoner it should at least give her meals!

Hm, no bonk. She took note of that. In fact, she was so busy taking notes on this topic, she was caught quite unprepared when she wandered right to, and then over, a crude fence, once again landing face first in snow.

Where was she – an orchard? And that barn. Blast! Sweet Apple Acres! How was she supposed to tell this was nearby?! Here be trees, there be trees! Arbitrary! And everything was snow-covered and indistinguishable anyway!

But now she was outside the safety of the Everfree and—

“Applejack? Applebloom? Big Mac? That you?”

–flooded Tartarus, a pony! Disguise disguise what disguise Sweet Apple Acres—APPLEJACK!

Poof, she was Applejack. Phew. Applejack being at Sweet Apple Acres was perfectly natural! She was safe! This strange purple foal would suspect nothing!

Muahahaha!

Ooo, she got away with an evil laugh and no bonks! She mentally wrote that down for later.

While she was busy doing that, the foal spotted her and came clopping right up to her. Ugh, pony hooves, making such a disgusting noise. It really was inappropriate for civilized people – why couldn't they have quiet changeling hooves? Inferior creatures—

BONK!

“—jack! I was looking for you.” The pink cream tart of a foal puffed up… and then deflated somewhat, before steeling itself again. “Miss Applejack, I wanted to ask you about business advice.”

Oh, no. It was talking to her. And now the little thing had trailed off and was looking bashful. Chrysalis summoned every ounce of her acting talent, drawing herself up to Applejack's full, less-than-imperious stature.

“Go on, little one. Do not waste my time.”

Nailed it. She had definitely gotten the accent right, too. Why, even the foal looked surprised at how good her acting was! It even took her a few moments of stunned silence to speak!

“Umm... okay. So, uh, well... I know that I haven't always... made the best impression on you, but I was hoping to surprise my father by taking some initiative with the business, and, so... could you help me?”

Oh, this was easy! The foal had given her an out! She had apparently offended Applejack in the past already! What did she know about this foal?

Chrysalis flipped through her mental opposition-research notes. Pink… pink. So many wretch—exhausting pink ponies. Right, this was Diamond Tiara, who was a complete BONK! to Applebloom, Applejack's little sister. Easy! Just pretend to be offended on behalf of Applebloom, tell Diamond Tiara to BONK! straight to BONK!, and beat a hasty retreat!

The fake Applejack opened her mouth to break little Diamond Tiara's heart.

BONK!

Right, she could have seen that coming. Well, she could just let the foal down gently? No bonk?

“I am... unsure,” Chrysalis began, then remembered the accent. “Ah mean, what is it ya even wanted, sugarcube?”

Ugh.

“Okay. My father wants to expand the markets he’s operating in, but he’s been so busy he hasn’t made any moves yet. I know he wants to get in touch with Cherry Jubilee in Dodge Junction, and I know you two have worked together, so I thought that maybe you could… introduce us? Tell her how good Barnyard Bargains has been for the Apple family?”

Chrysalis nodded reflexively. “A sensible request, broadening the – er, mean, shucks, makes a whole lotta sense t'me! Gotta diversify in business, yeah? Yeah. Good thinkin', little one.”

Ponyfeathers! She hadn't meant to evaluate the idea out loud, but she was used to changelings bringing her propositions like this and evaluating them and had just fallen into that habit!

This whole bonking thing was really throwing her off her game!

“Oh! Well, great! Can we set off soon? This is...” Diamond Tiara bit her lip. “This is kind of meant as a Hearth's Warming gift.”

Off her game or not, there was no way in Tartarus Chrysalis was going along with this! It was laughable! Run off to someplace she’d never been with some foal she knew nearly nothing about, to meet somepony she’d barely gathered any intel on? It was asking to get caught!

Did you hear that, harmony hammer? Agreeing to this would be outrageously self-destructive behavior! Practically begging to be clapped in irons, or worse!

... Nothing? This hammer really had it out for her, didn’t it? Up until now, self-destructive thoughts had provoked the hammer pretty reliably. This much Chrysalis had discovered when she first started to come to grips with her new situation – and the fact that she had been defeated and humiliated again – and had considered simply not eating.

And... other, more expedited ways achieving the same basic result.

Banishing such thoughts was one of the few advantages of her new situation – it wasn’t something she found easy to do on her own. Not that she appreciated having something mess around in her head! It was just a... convenient side-effect.

It had its limits, though. Even if the constant bonks had managed to push her into doing the bare minimum to survive out here, she was getting... slower. More tired. She had no clear idea of what she wanted to do in the future, and her usual go-to plans for the future – scheming vengeance on all who had wronged her, naturally – was off-limits.

Going with the foal was undeniably idiotic and risky, but was going back the way she’d come really better?

“Big Mac!” Applebloom called out in the distance. “Halp! Them ferrets from Fluttershy’s sanctuary are invading the barn again!”

Chrysalis was reminded with a jolt that the temporal flow of the universe did not, in fact, wait on her internal monologues.

And that she should really not just stand around in disguise. Especially as Applejack, at Sweet Apple Acres! Maybe it was time to get the Tartarus into Dodge!

“Let’s be off, sugarcube!” Chrysalis said, much too fast and with barely any accent. Diamond jumped slightly as the formerly eerily-stationary Applejack reanimated all at once and set off at a brisk pace, then rushed to catch up.

“Uh, don’t they need the help?”

“They’ll be fine! I have the day off today, anyway!”

Diamond Tiara squinted. Somewhere in the distance, there was a small explosion and chittering.

“Yep! Let’s go right now!”

“Uh… okay?”

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all. Positive thinking, Chryssy! It was just some podunk little town (not to be confused with Podunk Little Town, that was much further away) and doubtless all of the ponies living there would be dumb-as-rocks hicks—

BONK!

“Applejack? Are you okay?”

“Shplendid,” Chrysalis slurred, staggering slightly.

“You're acting pretty strange,” Diamond Tiara said, bluntly.

Ponyfeathers.

“Magic thing, messed with mah head,” Chrysalis answered, honestly, because she was worried outright lying might provoke the hammer. “Nothin' to worry 'bout, just threw me off a little.”

“What sort of magic thing?”

“Uh, y'know, the elements? Bein' at the, ah, center of that kinda took the wind outta my sails, let me tell you what,” Chrysalis answered, still being totally honest. TOTALLY HONEST, DID YOU HEAR THAT, HARMONY HAMMER?!

(The powers of harmony did, in fact, hear her. They were unimpressed.)

“Oh,” Diamond answered, the pace of her words speeding up. “I didn't know it did that. Sorry, if this is too much trouble, we can just—”

“Ah said we'd go, we'll go,” Chrysalis answered automatically. Disguise or not, she didn't go back on her words and she did not appreciate being questioned!

Wait, had she just missed another easy out on this situation? Ugh. Well, whatever, this was as acceptable as the... alternative, anyway. Yes, she'd stay the course! And she would be the best at this role! She would be such a splendid Applejack, ponies would beg her to come back and take over full-time! Muahahahaa! aha! Ha! Ahahaha!

“What's so funny?” Diamond Tiara was squinting again.

Oops, some of that had been out loud. Chrysalis really was unwell, wasn't she? She grinned nervously at Diamond.

“Well, shucks, it's just that it's the two of us, y'know? Like y'said, we had our rough patch, but here we are, workin' to make somepony else happy, yeah? Your dad? And if'n there's one thing ah know, it's workin' to make your family happy.”

Diamond looked bashful, and had a big, relieved smile. Nailed it! Nailed it! Best actress ever! Chrysalis was giddy. Really, it was hard not to be, overflowing as she was with all of the love energy from the harmony hammer. It was difficult to think straight! For that matter, it was hard to walk straight!

Oooh, so that's why she had started pronking towards the train station. Awkward! Well, at least Diamond had started it up alongside her.

They swiftly boarded the next train to Dodge, and soon enough they were parked in their own little private car. Sure, Chrysalis was sitting upright and swaying her legs around like a foal, but in her defense she really had too much energy by half.

Now that she was just playing along (biding her time!) with this curse rather than fighting it, it was all so much easier! Sure, she felt like she'd single-hoofedly drunk the entirety of Sweet Apple Acres' cider production (emphasis on drunk!), but she felt good! At peace! How long had it been she had felt that way?

... Best not to dwell on that.

“Thanks again for doing this, Applejack! And... sorry, again, for—”

“Now listen here,” Chrysalis started. “Er, just ignore when I talk funny. Anyway, listen. You can't keep apologizing for your mistakes forever. You need to move forward! Do better! And, from what I can tell, that's precisely what you are doing, is it not? So take pride in that! Hold your head high.”

Diamond looked deeply relieved, smiling. Aww, it was just like when Chrysalis would encourage the nymphs—ack! Wait, no! Sentimental friendship garbage! Do not think of these ponies as—

BONK!

Comments

[SoloBrony]

This was absurd! Obscene! She was Chrysalis the Unbroken! Last of the true changelings! CONQUERER OF THE SUN HERSELF, AND SHE WOULD FIND WHATEVER PATHETIC GOD HAD CONSTRUCTED THIS FARCE AND WRING THEIR N–

I missed a dash error! I'm so sorry!

[Razzy]

Chryssie drunk on love and forced on an adventure while being constantly hit on the head with the Hammer of Love? This can only end brilliantly.

[Cackling Moron]

Chrysalis as hilariously bad mistress of disguise is always tops.

[Victor07]

More than spared her! There was a fake statue in her place, and she'd been thrown clear of that whole mess! It was utterly perfect! All of her enemies thought she was dead, and she was free to... free to, um, live. Live in peace. And not harm a soul.

Wait, if she has a fake statue in her place and was dumped in the middle of who knows where, then is there a chance that something similar happened to the other two?