Star-crossed

by WhovianPony

Chapter one

Star-crossed

"To be honest Celestia, you really are a bore. I was having more fun as a statue."

Celestia stood alone on a hilltop. The stars glittered and glistened in the silent night. The voice of her nemesis echoed in from every direction at once from an invisible source. A chilling laugh filled the air.

"I'm not trying to be funny, Discord, show yourself! I've had enough antics from you!"

A slight wind blew and Discord materialized a few feet in front of her.

He pouted and said "I'm just having a little fun with you, there's no need to be mean." Then he smiled "You didn't used to be so quick to give in, though. Losing our touch, are we?"

Overhead the night shifted instantly to day, and the grass started changing to random colors and giant butterflies appeared out of nowhere and took to the skies. Typical Discord, but Celestia was too tired to even try to be impressed. She had been hunting him down for days (or what were probably days) and the whole time he treated what he had done as a silly joke. Like it was some kind of ridiculous prank, not to be taken seriously.

"This time you've gone too far, Discord! I can't, in good conscience, let this continue."

"Oh come on Celestia, no one got hurt by it, at least not permanently, and it was mostly harmless." Discord smiled again as he remembered what happened at the castle when he escaped his statue again.

"You interrupted a private peace meeting, put a confetti-bomb under the buffet table, made the griffon king say everything backwards, flooded the castle with deranged mutant rabbits, painted 'Discord was here' in the sky using those blasted pink clouds of yours, and turned my favorite student and her friends into pelican birds! On top of all that you pretty much ruined our chances at striking a peace accord with the Griffon Kingdom! What part of that is considered mostly harmless?"

Discord did a happy loop- the -loop in air and started to laugh. "You..you really should have seen your face, though! It was hilarious! Stop being such a royal stick in the mud!"

Celestia's horn started to glow with magic as she muttered an incantation under her breath.

Discord rolled his eyes, "Didn't we already cover that turning me to stone doesn't work? Do it if you must, but I'll bust out again sooner or later."

"I'm not turning you to stone, not this time."

"Than what, pray tell, do you think you're doing with that?" he asked backing away from the glowing horn.

"Something I should have a long time ago, probably. I'm taking your powers away and banishing you."

"Your sending me to the moon? Really? Why not? After all, it went so well with Luna." Discord said positively dripping with sarcasm.

Celestia winced, she didn't like to think about that more than she had to, "No, farther than the moon."

"The sun?"

"Farther than that."

"The next planet over." Discord guessed.

"And here you had me thinking you had a good imagination. No, I'm sending you somewhere much, much farther than that. It's not uninhabited, but that's why I'm taking your power away first."

"What possible place could you possibly be thinking of then?" Discord mouth gaped as he suddenly realized just what Celestia was going to do. "You wouldn't! You're not! Not happening, of all places I'm not getting caught DEAD in that drab old place!"

"It's just a bunch of humans, Discord. They're just as strange as you. It'll be fun even, and you'll be out of my hair long enough for me to fix the mess you made!"

"C-c-celestia we can talk about this. Maybe you're right, I probably did carry that one a bit far. I'll make an effort to make it up to you!" Discord was actually starting to panic a little now. It took a LOT to scare Discord; you tick him off he turns you into a bowl of jelly. Literally. But Earth was another story, if humans were the same destructive, violent, unruly bunch they were a million years ago, and they likely were....he'd rather be a statue than be forced to deal with them without his chaos to back him up. They caused easily more damage to Equestria than he ever did.

Lightning shot out of Celestia's horn and smashed into Discord. Painful sparks shot up and down his body as his control over the chaos energy started to fade. Moments felt like hours, and by the time the sun princess had finished her spell, Discord had fallen to the ground in shock. It felt to Discord as if a huge part of him had been ripped out. He could no longer feel the chaos that he knew and loved in his veins, and any attempts to sit up induced painful dizziness that took his breath away. A purple cloud made of pure chaos floated through the air towards Celestia and she sealed it in a bubble of magic.

"And now for a change of look, it wouldn't do for you to show up in front of a bunch of vicious, carnivorous humans, and not actually be a human, now would it?" Celestia had a crazed look in her eyes, she had had enough. Too many escapes, too many emergencies, much too close together, had left her with very little patience to spare. Her horn began to glow again and ribbons of power flowed out of it to surround Discord. He could feel himself being changed, but without his chaos magic, try as he might to stop the transformation he was powerless to stop it. This spell faded too, revealing a much smaller figure.

Discord retained his white hair and trademark eyes, but that was the end of the similarities. His lightly tanned skin showed no signs of fur or scales and he didn't have a beard anymore. His matching arms ended in matching hands and his two legs were just the same. His body was no longer snake shaped and he didn't have two different wings, or even any wings at all. He was clothed in a simple shirt and denim jeans. Luckily, Celestia remembered humans had a thing about nudity.

"There you look just like the natives now." Celestia said " I'll bring you back eventually when I feel you've served your time, and I've fixed the damage you caused."

"Celly, please." Discord gasped, still in shock from losing his chaos, and now feeling completely defenseless in the new human form, "You're making a big decision here, there's no need to do anything rash. You already took my power and changed me to completely different species, can't we just leave it at that for a few hundred years and forget the whole thing?"

"You know I can't do that, Discord. I let you keep your job before, when you were a statue you still had your magic, so the chaos was still in effect enough to keep things running right. You decided to go and blow it anyway." Celestia was clearly angrier than she had ever been before, even Nightmare Moon didn't even get threatened to be sent to Earth.

"But it won't be when I'm gone. You're asking for trouble if you send me away, nopony can control chaos except me!" At this point he was grasping at straws.

"Notice that i'm not just sending it off to the wild. It will stay nice and safe in this bubble until I see fit to let you return, and have it back. Until then, I'm sure Equestria will survive on the small amount of chaos that happens naturally on it's own." Celestia began to prepare her third and final spell. "I've made my decision, as ruler of Equestria it's my duty to punish those who don't follow the law. The laws of physics included! I'm not a cruel pony, Discord. I'll be sure to put you in range of a town or something. It wouldn't do anypony any good for you to land in the middle of a desert or ocean. I'm sorry, but if this is what has to be done for you to get the point, then so be it."

Once again a field of magic reached out to the now-human Discord. The still protesting human felt himself lifted of the ground. He could see less and less through the ribbons of magic that were holding him. Then the world started to fade, until finally he was so enshrouded by the magic that his vision was cut off completely. And then with a loud crack as if from lightning, he was gone, teleported across space to where the princesses had sent the humans; another species Equestria was tired of dealing with.

Celestia stayed looking at the spot where Discord had formerly been standing for a while longer.

"Good-bye Discord," she said "and despite it all, good luck"

Comments

[Flint]

oh god discord on earth

also this fic might be good i'm going to continue reading it