Not Here

by ulcuran

Knight in Moonlit Armor

‘’This is the second time we’re going through this hall together, you know?’’ I was floating alongside Celestia, again. She said I shouldn’t put too much pressure on my hoof. I was going to reject her, actually, I did try to reject her, keyword: tried, but she just lifted me from the ground without listening to me.

‘’It is?’’ Huh, when was it? Oh wait, she’s talking about my grand entrance and my failed and well, frankly poor attempt at escape.

‘’Yes, you gave me quite the scare when you screamed.’’

‘’That was the plan.’’

‘’Well it worked, and you dashed into Luna’s room of all places.’’ She turns her head to me which has a teasing smile on her face with her brows up. ‘’Don’t try to hide under her bed again…unless she asks you to of course.’’

‘’Yeah, yea- wait what?’’ Before I can question her further we stop abruptly.

‘’Here we are, I’m sure you remember the door.’’ She lowers me down and I look at the door…nope, I don’t remember anything about it, it’s just a door. A well-built dark blue door with the moon carved on it masterfully almost as if you are staring at the moon at itself, and with an eye-catching sapphire right on top of the carved moon, so yeah it’s just a doo-who am I kidding? How the hell do I not remember a door like this?

‘’Thank you for bringing me here, even though I asked you to let me walk.’’ I whisper the last part.

‘’No need to thank me dear. Be sure to give Luna her chocolate.’’ She smiles and leaves me alone in front of the door. I look to my right, the hall is emtpy, I look to my left, and I can only see Celestia in the distance annnnd she turned the corner. Wait, she’s back? Why is she watching me from around the corner? She realizes that I’m watching her and retreats back, I stare at the corner and she pops back out a few seconds later. I turn back, taking a deep breath I ignore Celestia and knock on the door.

*knock-knock*

‘’Leave! We wish not to speak to anyone.’’

‘’Luna?...I’m here.’’ I hope she does want to talk to me though, and the door opens much quicker than I thought.

‘’Laika?! Are thou okay?’’ She takes me by the hooves and drags me inside her room.

‘’Y-yeah, I’m fine.’’ I take a quick look at the room, it’s about the same size as Celestia’s but Luna’s room is painted the same color as the door, there isn’t a fireplace but instead, there is a huge bookcase on one side of the wall, but like her sister Luna has one of those pillows on the floor too.

I look at Luna, she looks like a wreck, is that because of me? Ugh, that makes me feel bad. Her eyes look puffy and red, and her elegant hair which was glowing like the starry night is only now dimly lit and messy. Let’s hope these cheer her up a little.

‘’First of all here.’’ I lower my body a little, so I’m bowing.

‘’Wha-are those chocolate and lavender?’’ Luna asks with surprise apparent in her voice.

‘’Yeah, as an apology, you’re sister said these were your favorite.’’

‘’...She’s not wrong but thou doesn’t… thou doesn’t have to apologize to us.’’

‘’Well I feel like I should, I kinda ruined breakfast. Anyway, I’m…okay now, and if you won’t accept them as an apology then accept them as my gift to you.’’ Moving to the pillow I lie down on it and smile at her, god this is great, I totally need one in my room.

‘’We-...alright.’’ She moves to my side and lies down on the pillow too, and shows a small smile.

‘’Thou looks like a gift box, it’s cute.’’ She lets out a small chuckle and unwraps the ribbon.

‘’That’s what you’re sister said too! I’m not cute!’’ I cross my arms and huff. I’m not cute, I’m manly!

‘’Of course, of course, we were wrong-’’

‘’Well thank you-’’

‘’Thou is more handsome than cute no?’’

‘’I-you- wha-?’’ …Why does this place feel hotter? Surely it must be because of the pillow. I don’t look Luna in the eyes, the wall behind her seems more interesting now.

‘’A-anyway! How is the chocolate?’’ I try to change the subject.

‘’Oh my sister knows what she is doing, she had thee bring us the best one.’’ The chocolate bar floating in front of us quickly gets unwrapped and she takes a bite. ‘’Mhhmn, thou must try a bite.’’

The bar glides in front of my mouth I look at it for a moment, unsure if I should eat it, I mean I did just eat half a tub of ice cream. Eh, just a bite couldn’t hurt. I take a small bite of the bar.

‘’...wow, this is good.’’ I chew and gulp down my bite.

‘’The Princess of the Night only eats the worthy chocolate!’’ She seems quite proud and happy. Her hair is slowly gaining its shine.

‘’I’ll keep that in mind.’’

‘’Oh? Thou intends to bring us more tribute? We should have thee know that we are really difficult to please.’’ She shows a sly smile.

‘’I’ll be up to the task my lady.’’ I bow my head like how a knight does. Suddenly I feel something touch my right shoulder, and then my left, are those the flowers?

‘’Then we dub thee Knight of the Moon, you may rise.’’ I raise my head and look at Luna with a huge smile on my face. She’s smiling too, her hair now seems brighter than the stars.

‘’Thine duties are as follows: Thou shalt bring us chocolate whenever we please, and thou shalt watch the night sky with us, to look out for any dangers that might threaten the kingdom of course.’’

‘’I understand, I shall fulfill my duties, my fair lady.’’ I give a quick bow and Luna covers her face with the lavender, cute. what?what? Her eyes turn softer and she looks away, she almost looks sad?

‘’Laika…we must inform thee of something. We…have made a grave mistake and it makes us feel like we are not a good pony.’’ She closes her eyes and lays her head on the pillow.

‘’Oh, do you want to talk about it?’’ I get closer to her.

‘’Yes, we have once again fought with the maid, but this time it was entirely of our short-sightedness.’’ Did they fight again? Moonlight didn’t tell me anything about them fighting.

‘’When thee was injured, we… we blamed her, we thought she had done something to you…’’ She blamed Moonlight? Why?

‘’Why?’’

‘’Does thou remember this morning? Before we left thy room, we fixated upon your bed?’’

‘’Yeah, it was kinda weird.’’

‘’Well, we saw a piece of the maid's hair on your bed and we assumed the worst.’’

‘’Her…hair?’’

‘’Yes, we thought she had done-’’ She turns her head away. ‘’-those things.’’

‘’Oh, oh…I uhh, nothing happened between me and Moonlight she uh, we just slept on the same bed, it was late at night I didn’t want to send her away.’’

‘’We know, she told us herself, but we just assumed the worst had happened and accused her.’’ She says with a sigh.

‘’Are we a… bad pony, Laika?’’ She opened her eyes and looked at me, oh those eyes, they were mesmerizing, like I was staring down at a black hole that was threatening to suck me in.

‘’Umm, you only did that because you thought she did something to me right?’’ She slowly nods. ‘’Well you had good intentions, should you not have jumped to conclusions? Yes, but you learned now, and you even realized your mistakes, but maybe you should still apologize to Moonlight?’’ She closes her head and lays it down on the pillow again, I slowly bring my hoof over and start running it through it.

‘’...yes, tho-you’re right, we should apologize, but will she forgive us.?’’

‘’Moonlight? Probably yeah, she would.’’ I continue patting her hair, it’s really soft, and it feels kinda weird like it’s cool to touch but not so much, it’s akin to a night breeze. We stay silent she opens her mouth to speak but closes almost instantly, after a few times of this I decide to intervene.

‘’You’re not a bad pony.’’ She’s really not.

‘’...okay.’’

Again she says nothing and I say nothing too, I just continue what I was doing, I retract my hoof but it glows dark blue and it gets dragged to her hair, she turns her head and looks at me.

‘’We didn’t ask of you to stop. Thou art our knight now, you shall continue to serve us.’’ Wow, looks like I didn’t know what I was getting into, well it could be worse, I oblige her request and carry on with my patting.

‘’What of the chocolate my lady? How will I bring it to you if my han-hooves are occupied?’’ Almost slipped, gotta watch my mouth, I’m a pony now… an animal, a human inside.

‘’Worry not brave knight, your ever-talented Princess knows what to do in this dire situation.’’ Her horn glows again and the half-eaten bar of chocolate floats in the air and slowly glides to her smug-looking face. Damn. She takes a bite and the bar floats again to my face? Huh.

‘’Eat, mine knight, for thou shalt deserve rewards for thine hard work do you not?’’ She shows a smile that is covered in chocolate. I bite the chocolate and wow, yeah I understand why this is her favorite chocolate now.

‘’We see the darkness in thine eyes, no pony can resist the delight that is chocolate. But be wary for tis’ a dark path.’’

‘’Oh? So you are immune to the effects I assume?’’ She nods and takes the final bite finishing the chocolate.

‘’Can I take my hoof off now?’’

‘’Hmmm, alright we permit thee to rest thy hoof.’’

I let go of her hair which was now dazzling and had regained its shine. Looking around the room again I spot a chess board on the corner, they have chess here? What do they have for the knight a goddammed human?

‘’Have the set caught your eye?’’ Luna cranes her neck and sees what I’m looking at.

‘’Hmm, yeah, wanna play?’’ A glint appears in her eye and she has a smile which is stretching for meters.

‘’Oh? Thou art challenging us in the art of strategy? Very well we shall accept thine challenge and give you a worthy battle.’’

She gets up from the pillow and with her magic all of the pieces are lined up on both sides, huh they do have a horse, well that’s weird.

‘’Thou can choose whichever side suits thee most.’’

‘’Alright, I’ll go white.’’

‘’We shall be black then, a fitting side. Let the game begin!’’

Hmmm, let’s start simple pawn to e4.

She moves one of her pawns to c6.

I move another pawn to d4.

She advances forward with a pawn to d5.

‘’Go forth my steed!’’ I move a knight c3.

‘’Crush his puny minion!’’ She moves the pawn from c6 to e4 scoring my pawn.

‘’Get revenge for your fallen brother!’’ I rush my knight to e4 eating her pawn and getting revenge for a noble soldier.

‘’Our knights shall not stay idle! Forward!’’ She’s having fun. Black knight to d7.

‘’Protect your kingdom!’’ I yell out and move my Queen e2.

She smirks. ‘’Oh? The pitiful Queen has already decided to move?’’ The other black knight moves to f6. Both of her knights are now out. Hmmm, what should I do, maybe move the bishop? Wait a second. No way, there is no wa- yes there is a way! Hahaha! I have already won! I look up and look at Luna’s face, oh she realized it! Look at her nervous face! This is great.

‘’Hmmm, whatever shall I do?’’ I move my hoof to a pawn and her nervous face starts to smile more. Taking a deep breath, I end her. ‘’No more of your tyranny, you chocolate queen!’’ I move the knight to d6. Checkmate.

‘’Nooo! How could we have been so blind to the threat right in front of us?’’ She seethes over her loss. ‘’Best of three, we shall not accept such a humiliating defeat!’’ She quickly sets up the pieces. Looks like we have a competitive player. Well, she has a smile on her face, so mission success!

---

Celestia removes her ear from her sister’s door with a smile on her face. Making her way to her room, a quick grimace adorns her face, she knows that she shouldn’t have done that but how can one fault her for being worried about her sister? When Luna came to her and only cried and left without saying anything, she could only become worried.

Sitting down on the ‘Chair of Doom’ as she calls it, why? Well because she does her...paperwork there. The word alone sends a chill through her spine. She begrudgingly starts her work, although she has a smile on her face this time because she doesn’t have to worry about her sister.

Halfway through a stack of papers, a knock on her door interrupts her, she lets them come inside, and in walks her trusty secretary, where was she all this time? No matter, she could use her help here. She lets her talk.

‘’Princess, the documents you requested about this ‘Laika’.’’ Raven Inkwell puts a single sheet of paper on the desk of the Sun Princess.

‘’Thank you.’’ Celestia takes the paper and looks it over, a small smile creeps upon her face. ‘’Very funny Raven, now can you please give me the actual document?’’ She waves the empty paper.

‘’That is the official document, this guy has absolutely nothing about him!’’ Raven suddenly snaps, ‘’He has no birth record, no hoof prints, no parents, no education, heck he is probably not even a citizen of Equestria!’’ Raven pants, out of breath, she takes the paper and rips it, mercilessly. ‘’Why do you think I spent five days bringing you this empty paper? Because I looked over everywhere and came up with nothing, nada. He is a ghost! I would say he is a changeling but his blood confirms that he is a pony!’’ A few pieces of her hair pop out of place.

‘’...Calm down dear,- ‘’Celestia lets out a sigh. ‘’-take the rest of today and tomorrow off.’’ The almost crazed pony secretary takes a huge breath, thanks the Princess, bows, and quickly leaves the room muttering something about finding a non-existent pony.

Celestia looks down on the ripped pieces of paper. Looks like our resident window crasher is more of a mystery than she thought, the report from Moonlight adds even more questions. He was raised in a forest away from the cities? Doesn’t know about cutie marks? Doesn’t know who the Princesses are? Doesn’t know that the Pegasus can manipulate the weather?

What forest was he from the Everfree? Pfft, like that’s ever possibl- wait.

---

Scootaloo was terrified! A thief was loose in Ponyville, she was looking over her shoulder every ten seconds in fear of the thief popping out and stealing her scooter under her, but she was ready! If that pony dared to snatch her precious scooter she would show him some awesome karate moves, the thief would be so scared that he would throw himself in jail.

Nodding to herself she continues her way to the treehouse to meet with her friends. Wait, she thinks she has the idea of today's crusading quest, and with a smile, she speeds up. She doesn’t forget to check over her shoulder of course, just in case.

‘’Hey guys!’’

‘’Hi, Scootaloo!’’

‘’Hey Scootaloo!’’

‘’Guys I got an idea about our crusade today!’’ She parks her scooter on one of the corners of the treehouse.

‘’I hope it’s not mountain climbing again.’’ Applebloom says with a grimace.

‘’No! So you guys know how a thief is loose in Ponyville? We are going to catch him!’’

‘’...Scootaloo that is just a…brilliant idea! We’ll be the ponies that bring justice to Ponyville!’’ Sweetie Belle exclaims.

‘’Yeah!’’ Applebloom jumps up and down.

‘’Let’s go earn our cutie marks!’’ Scootaloo wastes no time and gets on her scooter and waits for the others to jump on. The other two jump on and off they go.

‘’Applebloom you sure this is gonna work?’’ Sweetie Belle asks her friend.

All of the Crusaders were hiding in a bush overlooking a masterfully laid trap. A stick that is tied to a rope that was holding the box that had a slice of apple pie underneath it, truly only a genius could come up with an idea such as this one, maybe they could earn their cutie marks in trap making?

‘’Of course, Applejack told me that the thief stole our apples so that means that he likes apples.’’

‘’I don’t know…’’

‘’Oh, there is something pull Applebloom!’’ Scootallo who was overlooking the trap turns to her friend and waves her arms around. Applebloom pulls the rope.

*thud* The box falls over.

‘’Did we get him?’’

‘’Let’s go check!’’

They all leap out of the bush and carefully approach the box. Now that they were this far in they may have had some doubts, this was a dangerous pony after all.

‘’Uh, y-you open the box, Sweetie.’’ Applebloom’s nervousness could be heard through her shaky voice.

‘’M-me?! I-uh, Scootaloo should do it!’’ Sweetie tosses the ball to Scootaloo.

‘’Huh?! Me? Fine!’’ Of course, she’ll do it she is the most awesome (after Rainbow Dash) pegasus in Ponyville after all she is not afraid of a simple thief!

With a shaky hoof, she holds the top of the box and slowly lifts it over. All her friends behind her to face whatever comes up.

‘’...Pinkie Pie?!’’ They all yell at the same time at the sight of the Pink pony voraciously devouring the slice.

‘’Hmm? Oh hi guys!’’ Noticing them she looks up with chunks of pie falling out of her mouth.

All of them heave out a heavy sigh and decide to set a trap somewhere else, the thief was not here.

Comments

[Mix-up]

Nice chapter, I am sure Lyka is going to do his best to valiantly deliver Luna's chocolate. By the way, does he still have that nasty scar on his forehead?

[ulcuran]

11808476
It's still bandaged but the bandage will come off soon.

[f0st3r21]

The bar glides in front of my mouth I look at it for a moment, unsure if I should eat it, I mean I did just eat half a tub of ice cream. Eh, just a bite couldn’t hurt. I take a small bite of the bar.

A whole tub is a bad time. Cold going in, hot going out.

Did he notice if the blue glow had its own flavor or texture when he tried the floating chocolate? Also: indirect kiss.

“I’m not an animal.” This could be misinterpreted by the Sisters. But, “I’m manly.” Luna may have missed this clue. Or does this Equestria have that phrase in their vernacular?

‘’I understand, I shall fulfill my duties, my fair lady.’’ I give a quick bow and Luna covers her face with the lavender, cute. what? what? Her eyes turn softer and she looks away, she almost looks sad?

Bro just got a top-tier S-rank job: be princess’ friend… and put your life on the line in case of an emergency. And all he had to do was escape from a makeshift prison/foalnapping, hijack a rando’s balloon, destroy crown property, and resist arrest. My man! Mane Six are going to have issues if they attack him on sight now. Will Laika have to get training from other knights now? Shining Armor is either Celestia’s or Cadance’s. Who’d the other be?

‘’Alright, I’ll go white.’’

Need to work on your flirting, Laika. “I choose to gaze upon the brave faces of the whites.. and upon the shapely flanks of the nightly warriors.”

I like the inclusion of the CMCs and am loving how Ponyville’s quickly degenerating with absolutely no real reason or evidence of his presence. lol

[ulcuran]

11808998
Follow these tips to get a high-paying job!

Also, he didn't say he was manly he only thought it.

Ponyville is descending into chaos without even the reason being there, Discord would love our guy!

[Shadow-Dancer]

11809004
How dare you make me feel things!!!!

Anyway good chapter

[ulcuran]

11874749
I'm glad I made you feel things! (even if I don't know what those feelings are lol)