Not Here

by ulcuran

Big thinkin'

I fucked up. I fucked up real bad, how in the nine hells did I not notice the orange pony sneak up on me?! I was so close to getting out of the orchard and just when I was about to jump over the fence my arms got bolted to my sides and I went crashing down onto the earth right on my back.

‘’Ahhhh!’’ Screaming out in panic I try to get out of my ropey prison but the orange pony pulls more and the rope gets even tighter than I thought it could.

Rolling over I get face to face with the angry pony she is looking at me with fire in her eyes while holding the rope between her teeth. Shit, what do I say now? How do I bullshit my way out of this? Why is she coming over? Do they have cruel laws in this place like a life for petty thievery? Oh god she is turning me around, now I am literally kissing the grass I don’t think I can even scream right now would screaming even help? Probably not the people would not pick the side of thief.

‘’Now what in tarnation do you think you're doin' mister?!’’ She lets go of the rope and starts tying me up. Shit, shit what do I say now? She probably saw me wandering and eating the apples around the orchard.

‘’Um… I-I-’’ I struggle to form a response while trying to think of a good enough lie.

‘’Yeah, you! I saw you eatin’ ma’ apples what have you got to say for yourself?!’’ She seems really angry, no, she is really angry… Aha! I got it, please believe this little and perfect lie that no one can tell is a lie!

‘’Uh… I am an inspector miss, I- uhh I came to check if the apples you were selling were up to code and not uhh hazardous?’’ Please just take it and go!

‘’The inspector was here only two weeks ago! And why would an inspector come at midnight? Are you lying to me?!’’ Fuck! Come on think, why would an inspector come in the dead of night and snoop around the farm…

‘’T-that’s because I am the second inspector miss! I came at this hour because, uhm, you know how some people only show the good produce to the inspectors and keep the bad stuff hidden away? I come and check to see if they are telling the truth and miss you are one hundred percent up to code!’’ I try to show a smile to calm her down a little and make her believe the stupid lie.

‘’Then why are you covered in mud?’’ Right, yeah I do look like a pig, not a government official or just any kind of respectable person.

‘’I fell?’’ Well, it’s not a complete lie.

‘’...’’ Her eyes looked to be half closed with one of her eyebrows rising and her mouth even scrunched up a bit, she looks unamused, and it seemed like my perfect lie didn’t work out. Off to Pony Dungeon, I guess.

‘’Heh, heh…Not buying it?’’ The smile on my face goes away while trying to get out of the bonds.

‘’Nope!’’ She takes the rope in her mouth and tightens it once again, raising me from the ground with only one arm she puts me on her back and starts walking, wow she sure is strong, I should not anger her anymore, better to keep my mouth shut.

She started going somewhere with me in tow most likely into town and to the prison well there goes my freedo- wait, why are we getting further away from the entrance?

‘’Umm, where are we going?’’ The fear inside of me grew bigger and bigger the further we got away from the entrance, she didn’t decide to enact her own justice upon me right?

‘’To the barn.’’ Oh fuck, she is going to enact her own justice, I’m so fucked I gotta get out of here! Trying to wriggle out of my bonds earns me a quick hoof to the side.

‘’Settle down now, I don’t have any energy left to deal with ya any longer.’’ No… no, no, no, she is going to kill me and then feed my body to the pigs or whatever they got here! ‘’So I’m gonna put ya in the barn and get Twilight in the morning to deal with this she knows more about this law thing.’’ I almost burst into tears right there, hearing that I wouldn’t be killed was like music to my ears so I stopped struggling and turned my face upwards to the starry night.

Woah, I can see the stars so clearly they look… they look beautiful, I never had the chance to see the stars with such clarity since I lived in the city and didn’t travel much, and the moon! It looked like the moon was the queen of the sky and the stars obeyed her every word she outshone every other star that I saw. Just when I finally relax my vision gets filled with the red roof of the barn instead of the blue sky that I was just looking at.

‘’Here we are, now keep it down or I will bind your mouth too ya hear?’’ Too occupied with my stargazing I didn’t even notice that we arrived at the barn, I got tossed inside, and the orange pony left the barn and she forgot to close the door? Woah score! Wait why is she coming back Wait! Is that a hos-

‘’Bwawwhh’’ I get hosed down with cold water before I can even finish my sentence, cold!

‘’I ain’t lettin’ you get ma barn dirty with all your mud and think of this as a part of your punishment.’’ She smirks while holding the hose and blasts every part of my body, oh she is enjoying this, that bitch! At least I am clean. Well, soaked to the bone but clean nonetheless.

‘’There, all clean, you should be thankin’ me.’’ She lets go of the hose and starts walking back to the door.

Oh, I’ll show you one day you orange whorse I’ll burn down this orchard then you can use that hose again. Of course, I don’t say these words if I did she would kick me back to the forest all the way from here.

‘’Just keep it down or else I will really bind your mouth too.’’ I nodded vigorously and seemingly satisfied with my answer she left and closed the door, hah that dumb broad! She didn't lock the door I can just crawl outt-

*click*

‘’...’’ Why must god damn me so?

Sighing I allow my rigid and wet body to flop the ground and let it relax. At least the night is not cold what would I do if I got sick right now, go to the pony doctor and get some medicine? Nope, that ain’t happening who knows how these ponies treat their wounded would they put me down if I had a broken leg?

Looking to my right, I see a couple of things first of all there is a great amount of hay stacked neatly in one part of the barn, like a lot. It makes sense these are horse people so they probably eat that, well I am a horse now too but I am not eating that I am a human. Secondly, there are about three to four milk churns, do they milk cows around here? That seems weird, animals milking other animals… do…do the cows talk too? No, no use wondering about that now.

Looking to my right I see a cart and some empty bottles, the bottles look exactly like the one I saw earlier, looks like the cider is produced locally. Nothing else except for more stacked hay.

Looking at the walls, there are some windows on each side of the walls but they are pretty high and closed I don’t think she locked these windows so I should be able to open them if I ever get out these ropes.

Damn, there doesn’t seem like anything here that can help me get out of these binds! Trying to wriggle my way out of the rope doesn’t work so I huff and start thinking of something, anything to get me out of here.

Can I use the edges of the milk churn to cut these ropes? Hmmm… I start once again crawling my way over to the churns to see if the edges are sharp enough and since I got pretty good at crawling over the last two days I get there pretty fast. No dice, the edges of these are not sharp enough they are too blunt. I crawl back to my original spot and start working my mind again, come on brain work harder!

Suddenly I get a revelation, the bottles! I can break them and use a glass piece to cut myself out! Yes, thank you brain I knew I could count on you! No problem bud.

‘’...’’

… Am I talking to my brain and was the brain talking back? Yeah, I’m officially on step one of insanity.

Shaking my head I drag myself to the bottles and look at them, now how do I break them? I can’t use my hands since they are tied and I ain’t throwing my whole body onto the bottles that would make too much noise then the orange one would kick my ass. I gotta use my head here, hmm… wait use my head? Yes! I can break one bottle with my forehead, it’s going to hurt and I will probably get a cut and a bruise, but I am willing to pay that price and it seems like the only choice right now. I am not going into pony prison, not here.

Taking one of the bottles with my teeth I bring the bottle to one of the corners of the barn so that the sound of crashing doesn’t travel as far. Alright, I dig a little hole with my mouth or muzzle? so that the bottle doesn’t roll when I try to hit it and plant it there. Now to line my forehead just right with the bottle. Positioning myself so that my forehead hits the bottle directly in the middle, I take a big breath and hit the bottle with as much force as I can gather.

The bottle doesn’t shatter.

‘’Fu-!’’ I bite my tongue so as to not wake up the orange one. That’s gonna leave a bruise. I take another huge breath and try again putting even more force this time and…

*Crack!*

The bottle shatters.

‘’Ow!’’ I see red liquid drip down from my chin onto the ground and yep, just as I suspected I got a cut, let’s hope that it’s not a deep one. Looking over my handiwork, I must say I am quite proud of it. I absolutely destroyed that poor bottle and there are pieces of it big and small everywhere in the corner, sorry bottle you were a necessary sacrifice for the greater good. Finding a big enough piece of glass is easy and I spot it, carefully making my way over to it to not get any more cuts I hold the piece with my hands and it slips out of my hands.

‘’Shit, come on hands or hooves whatever you are don’t fail me now!’’ I whisper to my hands or hooves I guess, and try again to pick up the piece of glass and, success! I am now firmly holding the glass, I am getting used to holding stuff with these hooves.

Cutting myself free from the ropes took more time than I thought it would, that pony used some strong rope for little old me.

‘’Ugh, finally’’ With one final snap, I am now free from my jail of flax, standing up and stretching some bones pop with a satisfying sound. Now how do I leave? She did lock the doors so no use trying that path, how about the windows? Nah, I can’t reach them… unless?

I look over to the stacked hay and move over to a pile of them. Can this even hold me? Getting on top of one of them, wow these are rock solid, yeah this can hold me no problem. Now to stack em up high enough to get to one of the windows.

Ugh, this is pain the hay blocks were heavier than I thought they would be because of course they were, it took me even more effort to stack them up in a neat little stair to one of the windows, my jaw got so much exercise that I think I can chew iron now.

‘’There we go, my half a pyramid of hay’’ Looking over my work it really does look like the front side of a half a pyramid. Alright, enough wasting time it’s time to get out of here, I gotta treat this cut I can’t risk an infection.

‘’Woah, easy there.’’ Getting on the hay stair it wobbles a little but I am able to keep my balance. Now I am looking out the window and, umm, I am really high above, would jumping out and landing on the ground break any of my bones? or even worse make so much noise that the orange one wakes up?

I look outside the window to see if there is anything high enough or soft enough to make the fall not hurt and I come up with nothing. I should at least make the fall shorter, I grab the edge of the window and let my legs go outside, I am now dangling from a window it should help, not much but any kind of help is welcome at this point.

Taking a gulp I let my hands go.

With a heavy thud, I landed on the grass, and… it didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would sure it did hurt, like a lot it felt like my legs were going to give out and I was going to flop down on the ground, but I was able to keep myself on all fours.

My head darts towards the house and I watch it to see if anything happens, after a minute of watching the house, and much to my joy nothing happens it seems like the orange one is still asleep and heard nothing, oh she’ll be surprised to see what happened in the morning.

Scanning the area for the final time I slowly walk over to the exit and leave the orchard. I just wanted to eat some apples and look what that got me. Putting a hand on my head some blood gets on it, yeah and now I gotta deal with this. I wonder if there is a hospital that I can break into now.

I start making my way into town.

Comments

[f0st3r21]

Wooh~! Atta boy! Third obstacle: overcome.

Now to complete the escape…

[Ralanost]

11754737
Baby horses can walk within two hours.

[ulcuran]

11754806
Yeah, thats just it, baby horses can walk within two hours, he was not born as a baby pony he is born human and has the mind of one but in the body of a pony.

[Ralanost]

11754814
So a literal newborn is more competent than an adult? I can understand him having problems. But it's just a different body. And not so vastly different as to be confounding. It's your story to write how you want, but the premise that he can't figure out how to walk just doesn't work at all for me.

[Mix-up]

He really sound mentally ill, even if taken into account his transmogrification panic if he is willing to hurt himself like that, probably going to leave a nasty scare there. It wouldn't have happened if Angel Bunny was holding his reigns.

[Boerq]

11755156
I think it would be an interesting twist to the story if that was the case.

[nomu s117]

11754831
To be fair it’s an entirely different body with an entirely different biology and shape.

He now has different muscles and body parts that he hasn’t learned how to use .

Like imagine if wings suddenly appeared on your back but because you weren’t born with them or the instinctual capability to move them they are useless.

Just imagine the mc like a physical therapy patient that has to relearn how to walk again after years of being in a bed

[Ralanost]

11759536
Having completely new and foreign limbs like wings, especially in the show since it requires magic for flight, is completely different than using four normal limbs to just walk. Unless his new body was given muscles that are too weak to support him, that physical therapy angle doesn't work either.