Twelfth Chapter
It was a long way to Ponyville, a couple of hours, just as Fluttershy had told them, but Thornton felt only a little worse for wear after it. Maybe sleeping a bit before this trip was what made the difference. Or perhaps it was that tasty emotion he was continuously filled with as the three journeyed. Either way, he felt relatively good by the time they got to town.
There were no other issues the three came across, thankfully, and before long, the path led them to a small clearing, with the town Fluttershy promised showing itself dead ahead. It was a relieving sight, one that his older brother was probably more relieved to see than he was. He could tell Reece was exhausted without looking back at him, although that might have been because he was carrying extra weight in the potion Zecora had brewed for them.
The yellow horse looked no worse for wear, and led him and his brother into town without issue or comment. There were no other horses to speak of that they saw, although Thornton assumed that was because of the night drawing over them. He wanted to ask questions about what he saw– like a giant building seemingly made out of candy, and the thatched roofing like something out of the middle ages that was commonplace here– but he didn’t, figuring it’d be better to save them. He stayed quiet right up until a large crystalline castle came into view.
“What the heck is that?” he asked as he took the building in. It was a castle, he could say that much, but it looked like nothing he’d ever seen before. The main building of the castle itself rested what had to be about a hundred and fifty feet in the air, sitting in a large tree made out of some kind of clear, purple crystal. The tree went up to a total height of what Thornton guessed to be three or four hundred feet, and ended in a spire that was shaped like a star with many points. The roofs and doors were yellow, and the castle seemed to be built right into the structure, with the tree connecting itself directly to the main part of the building. The whole thing had a little purple flag with the same star at the top as an added touch.
“How the heck do you build a castle like that as a horse?” he asked. “Heck, even as a human? That must have cost tens of millions of dollars with that much crystal. Or hundreds!”
“Nopony built it,” the mare told him as they stepped up to the door and began to head inside. “It actually sprouted out of a chest from the Tree of Harmony!” Because of course, it did.
“I don’t think I’m gonna follow up on that one then,” the bug decided. “I’ll just take your word that magic is real since that’s what it seems like. You said our family is here?”
She nodded as they stepped through the door and walked into the castle. Thankfully, with as large as this place was, they didn’t have to walk upstairs. Fluttershy led them to a library– or maybe it was a meeting room– where they met an excitable purple unicorn. From there, they somehow teleported to a hotel-like room where their parents and sister were. The relief excluded from the three of them was ten times the delicacy Fluttershy’s kindness and gentleness were.
Neither his father nor his mother hesitated for even a moment before wrapping the two of them in a long, tight hug, Barney coming up beside them, too, to lick their hooves, adding to the emotions in the air. It was much longer than Thornton thought it would be, but he didn’t mind, even as he felt both of their tears hitting his shoulders. All of that wonderful, tasty love filled him more than he thought he could be filled, with how insatiable his hunger was before.
It was an extremely long moment before Thornton and Reece were finally let go, and after about a minute and a half of the two awkwardly listening to their parents speak in a foreign language and pushing they and Denver to drink the potion the moose– the kirin– carried, they were fussed over greatly.
“I knew they’d be okay,” Denver said to their parents as she grinned widely. “I told you they’d be here before we knew it.”
“Are you both alright?” the dragon that was their mother asked tearfully. “We’ve been worrying about you since we lost you. We’re glad you’re finally back with us and safe.”
“You didn’t get hurt at all, did you?” their father now asked. He looked just as overwhelmed as their mother did, and his eyes were just as wide and wet. He even seemed to fuss about them a little more than their mother did.
“I shouldn’t have had us split up like that,” he continued, more tears falling from his eyes and hitting the floor near his hooves. Thornton stared back, his eyes almost as wide as his father’s were, almost entirely due to the magnitude of the sweet, delicious, honey-like emotion coming his way. This was starting to get overwhelming.
“You could have gotten hurt,” the unicorn continued. “Or killed. And it would’ve been my fault, because I made us split up. We should have stuck together.”
“It’s fine, Dad,” Reece told him, the changeling completely unable to speak as he took all the emotions in. “It wasn’t that dangerous, actually. Well, it was kind of, but I learned that I can catch on fire if I need to, and Thorn learned he can shapeshift, I think. He was a human for a few minutes, until I caught on fire and he… well, you get the point.”
“That still shouldn’t have been what we did,” their father said tearfully. “We should have found another way. I’m sorry that I put you in danger like that.”
“It’s fine, Dad,” Reece said again, trying to assure him and looking a little awkward as he did. He rubbed one of his cloven hooves against the ground, continuing, “We were already in danger anyway. You kept Mom and Denver safe, and we’re fine, so it’s not a big deal. Right, Thornton?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah, it’s no big deal,” the bug agreed quickly. “I mean, we’re all here, so it’s not an issue.” He was really only half paying attention to the conversation, still engorging himself on all that tasty emotion. Should he have felt guilty that his father feeling bad made the love that he gave taste even sweeter? Maybe, but he didn’t put any particular concentration on his own feelings.
“Well, if you say so,” the mare said shyly, glancing down and looking at his hooves as he finally started to calm down. “I’m just glad you two are safe, thank God. Or maybe thank… that yellow horse is named Fluttershy, right? I think that’s what the purple horse said.” He turned to her and gave a gracious little bow. “Thank you, sincerely,” he said politely, a sentiment that their mother echoed.
“We don’t know what we would’ve done if it weren’t for you,” she agreed. “Thank you, really.”
“It’s no trouble,” the yellow pony replied with a kind smile. “I’m sure anypony would’ve done the same thing. I’m glad your family is back together though.”
“Thank you,” their father said again.
“If any of you ever need anything,” Fluttershy continued, “you can find me in my cottage. I’ll try and help in any way that I can. It was lovely to meet all of you ponies though. I’m sure my friend, Twilight, will take care of you plenty.” Then the horse left, ruffling her wings as she made an exit and taking with her one of the streams of emotion that Thornton was feeding off of. He certainly would be missing her, and might even come up with an excuse to talk to her again if he could.
The emotion the other horse, Twilight Sparkle, gave off wasn’t nearly as tasty as Fluttershy’s, but it was still good. Excitement was what she radiated, and some generic friendliness, mixed in with a smidge of anxiety, maybe. It was certainly an interesting combination, but not one that had a particular effect on Thornton like Fluttershy or his parents had.
She explained a few minutes later that she would be doing what she could to help them get back to where they belonged, describing how she knew they weren’t really supposed to be animals and came from a place called Earth. She admitted up front that she didn’t know quite how long it would take, but gave an estimate of a few weeks to months at most. She also assured them, just as Fluttershy had, that whatever they needed, they could have, and they could use her castle as accommodation for however long their stay would be.
She said she wanted to talk to both Thornton and Reece for a while when she could, but understood that right then was not the best time, since both of their parents looked like they wanted to keep fussing over them. So instead, she said that she would go bring the group some dinner and let them have some time alone, as well as gave another explanation that they could ask for anything they needed.
“We’re fine,” Reece told her, still asserting himself as the leader, just as he did before. “Thank you, though. We appreciate it.”
“It’s no trouble. I’ll be back in a little while.” And then with the flick of her horn, she disappeared.
Reece’s first move when she left was to flop on the couch and let out an exhausted sigh, closing his eyes. He was definitely tired, as were the rest of them, Thornton could tell. Even Barney, the dog not wasting any time to move next to the kirin and cuddle up with his older brother. Oddly enough though, the bug didn’t really feel that bad. Actually, he felt more wide awake, as strange as it was. Still hungry though, even with as much of that thick, syrupy love as he consumed. The stream was starting to wane a bit, and as it did, it brought back that gnawing numbness he felt in the pit of his stomach.
“I could sleep for weeks,” Reece said tiredly, his eyes already closed. “This day feels like it’s just been endless. Let me know when that horse comes in here with dinner?”
“Will do,” Denver assured him. “I’m reading through some of these books that I was allowed to get from the library right now. I was looking at a book that showed what all these weird bumps mean, but whatever that potion was that you made us drink made reading this a whole lot easier. I can understand it all now!”
“It feels a bit weird being able to understand what everyone is saying without speaking in English,” the dragon commented. “It’s making my head feel weird translating it when I know this is all just horse whinnies and nonsense.”
“That’s what I thought at first,” Thornton said, “but it gets better. I think. That zebra wouldn’t stop rhyming though, even when I asked her. That was throwing me off, honestly.”
“I’m just glad you two are finally safe,” his father said. “Your mother, sister and I did nothing but worry about you this whole time. We’re glad you’re safe now.” The mare looked like he was going to start crying again soon.
“Thanks, Dad,” Thornton said politely. “We’re glad you’re safe, too, obviously.”
The room settled into a comfortable silence after that, the opposite of what Thornton expected. They must have all been too exhausted to converse about the topic at hand, since Denver was the only one outside of him that didn’t immediately find a place to lay down and close her eyes. Reece was already snoring, and with a couple of assurances of love and a comment about how either he or Denver could take the bed, his mother and father settled in next to each other on the ground, the former wrapping a wing around the latter. It was a peaceful looking scene.
Twilight eventually poked her head in to offer a tray of food, which Denver grabbed from her to set on the table, but the other three and Barney stayed asleep. It was typical human food– apple pie and mashed potatoes and vegetables and cheese sandwiches, but with just a few nibbles on one of the provided carrots, Thornton turned his head away. He really did only eat emotions, it seemed. It left more for Denver, at least.
His sister read and ate food for an hour or so, and then she, too, found a spot to close her eyes, scooting up next to their father on the ground. It left the bed available for Thornton, but he opted to stay in the room where the rest of his family was. There was still a quiet stream of love and affection drifting his way from each member of his family, even while they slept.
What a day it’s been, Thornton thought to himself as he laid on the ground in the middle of the floor. Is all of this even real? Maybe if he went to sleep, he would wake up back on Earth and find out this was all a dream. Unlikely, he knew, but he might as well give it a shot. It wasn’t like there was anything else to do except for soaking up the emotions around him.
With that in mind, he closed his eyes and tried to rest.
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And this is when someone tries to contact a new buggy fellow through some form of mind powers?
More good
Say hi to the moon dream god lil humans~
11743807
Eh, it depends. The lore on Changelings varies wildly between writers so it might be the Hive Mind or just a powerful compulsion to obey a higher ranking changeling. It could even be pheromones. At any rate, I'd like to see their reaction to being in the presence of one or both Princesses. Will they be able to feel the overwhelming metaphysical/magical pressure radiating from them? (Assuming they forget to put on the dampeners, as it were)
Canterlot itself should be a treat for the parents since the city rivals the most opulent (tourist trap) any Earth could boast.
So the potion actually removes their comprehension of the english language and replaces it with Equestrian.
That sounds like something I'd probably be at least a bit concerned about in their position.
Also, it felt like things went kinda fast between getting to the castle and the family.
How did Twi react to them getting there?
What were Reece and Thorn's reactions to Twilight?
Additionally, it's a bit difficult to get into it with all the name replacing. You may not be using the words "lavender unicorn" (or in this case, alicorn), but you're still sliping into "Lavender Unicorn Syndrome" for characters.
Using a name for someone that the pov character knows the name of is much better storywise, especially if it is their own name or that of a family member.
If you had a sister named Rebecca who had blonde hair and were talking about something she said, you wouldn't say "the human with blonde hair said..." you'd say "Rebecca said...". It just feels more natural, and that would carry over even with sudden transformations into magic aliens you'd never heard of before.
This has been an attempt to help you improve your writing somewhat, and isn't intended to sound mean if it comes across that way.
Thornton is really burning through resources quickly, given meta changelings storiess.?
11743876
I understand. I will work on the name replacing in the future. As for pacing, I've had issues pacing stories to be too slow, and have been trying to work on that. Thank you for pointing those things out to me though!
The story so far has been fine and digestable. Twilight did rub me off the wrong way with how they interacted with the parents and sister; teleporting panicked and confused creatures which further stresses them out further isn't exactly good.
I was ready to give your Twilight another chance, but you simply dismissed her dialogue entirely.
You've also used one of the worst ways to deliver exposition and a time skip too. I was hoping to dig into your Twilight's mannerism and come to some kind of understanding, but you left it with no room for imagination or intepretation.
If you still want to go this path, do not use it in such an early stage of the story where we are learning of how your characters behave. I would recommend, if you are still insistant, you fade to a later point where we learn what Twilight had told them through her actions.
E.g. Twilight comes in the room with the promised food.
But this is still sketchy as it is.
11744196
What Screw said.
And in addition, since Twilight has been informed about what creatures the family has been transformed into, it's probably a good idea for her to bring in a few native representatives to help them deal with being "what they are now". This is especially important in Thornton's case, give that she would know the form he exists in is constantly starving. I get it that she'd be excited to interact with dimensional travelers, but she can't afford to hog all the time with them to satisfy her curiosity. Getting them help to deal with the psychological trauma should be the top priority.
And shouldn't Twilight be getting worried about where the φυκ Spike is, by now? He'd never be away for this long with all this ξιτ going on. I think it's time to send out a search party for him....
he might be in Barney's bed back on Earth
I still hope for a meeting between Thorton and Queen Chrysalis. The last unchanged changeling besides the queen. It would be extremely interesting to see how she teaches him how to fight, hunt, absorb love and other things necessary for a changeling.
True patriarch of the family material