A Second World and a Second Self

by Zephyrius

Chapter 1: Prologue

Chapter 1: Prologue

'"Hey man, you want shrooms on your pizza?"

"How many times do I have to tell you man? I don't want any of your psychedelic mushrooms, just the kind that already comes on it."

"Fine, what about Joseph and Billy?"

"Nope."

"Eh...Nah."

"Am I the only fun guy here?"

As he said this, I turned around and gave him a bewildered look,

"Jake, I think you're the only dumb one here."

To which he pouted and sulked back in to the kitchen,

"Shet uhp!" Jake slurred.

I can never stop wondering why Jake likes to get all high before watching ponies.

"Who wants a beer?"

"Jake, are you retarded?"

"Okay then, beers for everyone!"

*Wham* *Wham* *Wham*

I felt a cold can slam in to my head from behind, I hit the floor and look up to see Billy holding his junk and Joseph with a nosebleed. Dear lord my head is on fire.

"Did you have to throw them, asshole?"

"No, I wanted to!"

"Just get the pizza, dude."

"Eh...Okay!"

I climbed back into my chair, as did Joseph and Billy. Since Jake was the only one to get the Hub, we would always hang out at his house around 7 every Saturday and watch ponies, which he had so intelligently (imagine that) DVR'd that morning. It was definitely a good deal since all of us were normally off work around that time. The odd thing was, Jake made the least money and spent it the most frivolously, yet he was still able to afford a house while the rest of us just had apartments. I suspected it had to do with income that wasn't from his day job.

"Here's the pizza."

Jake then dropped two boxes on the table; we all proceeded to eat pizza and watch 'Dragon Quest.' About fifteen minutes through, my vision got a little hazy, and I figured that it was just a beer buzz. By the time the episode was over, it was as if the world had been flipped. Everything was moving and colors weren't staying the same. OH CRAP.

"Jake!"

"Wassa Man?"

"Did you put shrooms on my freaking pizza?"

"Um... Maybe?"

I stood up and tripped over the table by my chair and fell face-first on the floor, needless to say, everyone started laughing their asses off.

"Holy shit, Jake, did you put shrooms on all of the pizza?"

"...."

"Where the hell is he?"

By now, Joseph, Billy, and I were completely messed up. Since we were in no condition to search for the bastard, we just sat down and drank a few more beers and watched last weeks episode. After another fifteen minutes or so, Jake walked in.

"What's up fellas?"

"You slinky ass, get over here. I'm gonna beat you senseless."

Jake, Joseph, and I all looked at Billy, he had just said one of the weirdest things to ever pass his lips. Jake wasn't even concerned with Billy's hollow thereat.

"So guys, I hear that a few other bronies are having a party downtown, wanna go?"

Still all shroomed up, we couldn't help but agree. Besides, it would be pretty fun, right?

2 Hours Later.

"PINKIE PIE IS THE BEST PONY!"

"NO, Rainbow Dash is!"

"Shut up you idiots, everyone knows that AppleJack is the best!''

I swear, Billy has been arguing with these two dudes for thirty minutes. I think their names are Kevin and Alex, although I'm not completely sure. I've about had enough of the yelling anyways.

"How about everyone keeps their opinions to themselves and I don't get a headache?"

"But come on man, you know Pinkie Pie is the best!"

"No, shut up, no more..."

"Whatever man, hey guys, lets take this argument over to that corner huh?"

"Sure, why not, I enjoy debate."

Now that was just weird, Kevin likes debate (more like a flame war). Jake walked in and proceeded to tell everyone that he made a Pinkie Pie themed drink (much to Billy's excitement), which everyone apparently liked the thought of, there was then a rush to the other room, where at least thirty bronies were going ape-shit for punch. By the time I got some there was only about a half cup left. Well, I got a bit, so no complaints, and it was actually pretty good, I mean it was like a freakin party in my mouth! Maybe that's why it was Pinkie Pie themed?

We then heard the guy who owned the house say something about the party being over, so Jake, Joseph, Billy, and I decided to leave with Alex, Kevin, and their friend Chelsea. We were having a pretty good conversation about AppleDash shipping when Joseph fell over. Seriously, he just falls the fuck over in the middle of an alley. We all just stared at him, and then I felt it...CRAP

"Jake, what the hell was in that punch?"

"Vodka, Kool-Aid, and cactus juice."

"Cactus juice?"

"Peyote!"

At this point, I and the others were obviously alarmed and Kevin was hyperventilating.

"Anything else, you drunken moron?"

"Um..."

"I might have put a little bit of ecstasy in it."

"What in the name of God did you do that for?"

"I thought it would be kind of fun, plus you seemed kinda tense and you said you had a headache, I couldn't let a friend suffer, could I?"

You know, I do believe that he actually did it out of kindness, he seriously was the nicest guy any of us knew, even though he had a twisted sense of humor. I couldn't really be mad at him considering, but it was a very upsetting act on his part.

*Thwump* *Thwak*

I turned to see Kevin and Billy both on their backs.

"Jake, look what you did."

"Oh no! I didn't think that amount would to that!"

"Dude, you didn't think hard enough, huh?"

"I guess not, I'm sorry man."

*Thud*

There went Chelsea, I turned back to see Jake tripping out and looking at the sky, I lifted my head up to look as well, I didn't see much, until Jake pointed it out.

"Is that a comet?"

As I looked closer I could see what looked like a large rock hurtling straight down towards us, it seemed to have some sort of dark sparkling aura about it.

*Thump*

Well, there goes Alex.

"Hey Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"If this thing kills us, just remember that whenever we get where we are going, I'm going to beat you down."

"No you're not man, you aren't violent like that."

"Yeah, I know."

The rock looked to be only about ten or so seconds away. You know, I guess this isn't the worst end a guy could go through, just an instant and then nothing, right?

*Thwump*

Huh, I guess I'm the most resilient to drunken date rape. Well, maybe because I had less of Jake's punch than everyone else. I do admit, it was good, if only he hadn't put his cactus juice and ecstasy in it, this could have been a better night.

I looked up again, it seemed that there was about five seconds left, and I swore it looked like it was encased in pony magic.

"What the heck?"

As the rock approached the only thing I could think of was that I would never be able to go to BronyCon, and that I wouldn't get to say goodbye to parents or my younger brothers. As the rock hit, I realized that it wasn't a rock, but a dark blue cloud, which slammed in to us. As soon as the haze hit us, everything turned black, everyone disappeared, and my entire body seemed as if it were on fire. I could feel my skull expanding, my bones shifting, and my skin changing. By this time I had gone in to shock, and I could feel my body convulsing and beginning to shut down. The last thing that I saw before I blacked out was a dark, yet beautiful forest.

Well, how was it? Please do tell what I should fix and any suggestions are welcome!

Note, I do not partake in use of narcotics, hallucinogens, or any other illegal substances, nor alcohol. All character experiences in that realm are from stories told to me by friends.

Thanks for reading!

Comments

[Zephyrius]

To anyone interested, I should have the second chapter up tonight.

[redactedandredacted]

I would like to ask you, why did you write this? Note the neutrality of that statement.

[stinker mcpinkerton]

Yeah, quite obvious that you have NO idea what happens when you take drugs like that

[Skywind]

Beer to the back of the head GOD DAMN JAKE!!!!!!

[Kill this account]

And now its my fault!

[The Questioner]

...Well then. It wasn't a bad fic, and I rather liked the fact that you had no glaringly obvious spelling errors (though, you still should read it often, and out loud, assuming you don't already.... Sorry, just my traditional newfic advice).

Few things I didn't like, however. There was VERY little backstory, and you skipped over all the interesting, story-salient parts that didn't involve him getting to Equestria. For example, how tall is your hero (I don't even know his name, see? Unless it's AiE, of course)? What does he look like? What is his life story? Why should I CARE what happens to him? Seeing as the whole purpose of this Prologue is to tell why whatever-his-name-is got to Equestria, it makes ever-so-infinitesimally-slightly less of a problem for your piece, but it is still salient information. I just happened to glance at your story description, and noticed that the hero's name is Chris. Why, then, do you not mention his name at ALL in your fic?

Secondly, the party scene is just weird. Without the proper information, all I think of is a bunch of partying bronies tripping on SOMETHING, which is mostly accurate, but I'd like to know that up front.

Thirdly, PLEASE make your fanfiction individual. While it was a mediocre start (read: good start), it'd really improve readability (and increase your upvote score) if you made your fanfiction stand out from all the countless other HiE stories.

And lastly, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't take this the wrong way. I really do like this fic so far, but I feel it just has so much more to offer.

Whatevs, will read more and comment more thoroughly later.
~InfinityXanadu

[OwlTrowl]

This only strengthens my resolve to bring a video camera to every party so I can record my friends getting drunk off their asses and tease them about it for years to come.

[DeltaΔ]

Alright, here's some constructive criticism (something I rarely do, but because this could have potential. I'll make an exception).

For starters, I have no clue as to who is talking most of the time. May want to fix that. Give then an action while you're at it. make them more lively.

Second. It went from four, to six, then to thirty people. Where did they all come from? Your story was mostly focusing on the original four anyways, no need to add more. I would also ask for what they look like. But since they appear to be just filler, that could be handwaved.

Third. Kinda what Butt Stallion was saying. I would do some research on what drugs cause what to happen (ecstesy is to curb anxiety. Could be used as a date-rape drug, but you're probably thinking of rohypnol, or "roofies"). Remember, Wikipedia is your friend.