Unfortunately, the first chapter didn't grab me. it almost entirely consists of partially unnecessary information flows. for example, why do we need to know the body proportions of Chaotic's caretakers? are you going to write some sex scenes with them? wouldn't it be better then to leave this description for the appropriate moment? the next point: you need to understand that you are writing, not drawing or filming. the scene from the beginning would look good in some kind of romantic comedy. but this is already a nitpick. Further. Clopfiction classic: the main character meets his future sex partners at the very beginning. for some reason, few people try to put the characters in any situation. in general, I expressed my opinion. if it doesn't suit you, that's your business. 11595703 I'm not particularly familiar with the female breast size system, let alone the European system. But, in my opinion, these are quite normal human sizes.
11595703 11595834 Okay, I'm not an expert on breast sizes, I can admit to that but I had to look at a lot of mature fimfiction and other MLP mature parodies to aid me. Also given that the series is animated and not live action, imagination give us the rights. Also I prefer making female OCs have my choice of sizes
The following descriptions will involve cast of the MLP EQG but in this AU where magic is not a part of this world and its mostly a slight of hand... except for Pinkie since we all know how unpredictable she is.
I'm not particularly familiar with the female breast size system, let alone the European system. But, in my opinion, these are quite normal human sizes.
True, but I seen other famous MLP authors/writers on this website, fanfiction.net, A03, to even Wattpad.
That does porn/sex stories give the MLP characters way bigger, to even "hyper" breast sizes than this. Just saying.
Okay, I'm not an expert on breast sizes, I can admit to that but I had to look at a lot of mature fimfiction and other MLP mature parodies to aid me. Also given that the series is animated and not live action, imagination give us the rights. Also I prefer making female OCs have my choice of sizes
Well, other MLP authors/writers give them way bigger ( To even hyper) sizes on a whole lot of them.
Are you sure this is right?
First chapter and I'm somewhat lost... but I am interested so I'll follow the series.
Unfortunately, the first chapter didn't grab me. it almost entirely consists of partially unnecessary information flows. for example, why do we need to know the body proportions of Chaotic's caretakers? are you going to write some sex scenes with them? wouldn't it be better then to leave this description for the appropriate moment?
the next point: you need to understand that you are writing, not drawing or filming. the scene from the beginning would look good in some kind of romantic comedy. but this is already a nitpick.
Further. Clopfiction classic: the main character meets his future sex partners at the very beginning. for some reason, few people try to put the characters in any situation.
in general, I expressed my opinion. if it doesn't suit you, that's your business.
11595703
I'm not particularly familiar with the female breast size system, let alone the European system. But, in my opinion, these are quite normal human sizes.
11595703
11595834
Okay, I'm not an expert on breast sizes, I can admit to that but I had to look at a lot of mature fimfiction and other MLP mature parodies to aid me. Also given that the series is animated and not live action, imagination give us the rights. Also I prefer making female OCs have my choice of sizes
So it's... Just below how things are now?
11595834
True, but I seen other famous MLP authors/writers on this website, fanfiction.net, A03, to even Wattpad.
That does porn/sex stories give the MLP characters way bigger, to even "hyper" breast sizes than this. Just saying.
11595849
Well, other MLP authors/writers give them way bigger ( To even hyper) sizes on a whole lot of them.
Trust me.