The Daily Life Of Anonymous

by Zarah

Friends In Low Places

Anon unlocked and opened the door to his home. Placing his backpack by the door as he turned on the main light in the room, the human looked at the mess of a room before him. Random sheets of paper and sticky notes littered the main coffee table, wood chips and charcoal dust litter the wooden floor near the stove, random clothing was draped over the furniture and the kitchen bin was full. And to top it all off, dust particles could be seen dancing throughout the illuminated room.

"Damn. This is bad, even for my standards. I'll do it later... Probably." he muttered to no one in particular.

Walking through the trash heap that was his living room, Anon was able to make a cup of coffee, grab the 3 borrowed books and sit on the sofa next to the coffee table. Instead of clearing the table neatly, he simply pushed all the paper and sticky notes to one side.

Taking a sip of coffee, the human set down one of the large tomes and opened to the first page. This caused Anon to take a deep inhale in frustration.

"I cannot actually be this inept." The page Anon was looking at was full of the same lines on the front, flipping a few pages gave the exact same result.

"For fucks sake! I even wrote a note to say I couldn't read this bullshit, why didn't I catch on to my own thoughts. I am actually the dumbest thing on this planet." In an attempt to learn anything from the book, Anon flipped through countless pages before coming across a drawing.

"Right, drawings! Maybe I can gleam something from these."

"Ok this one is of some symbols, maybe it’s how I cast it?"

"This one is candles. I think. Guessing I carve the runes onto the candle to empower it or some shit”.

"A fucking goblet of wine. Really? What, is this book magic for the rich or some shit?"

"Why is this just a red triangle? Unless the next image I find is 'how to translate lines. I ain't learning crap."

"Now there is a second trian- And that's a pentagram. Wait..."

Anon dropped the book on the coffee table with a thud before immediately standing up. He was silent for a few minutes, not moving an inch as he stared at the picture before him.

"This is a book on how to summon something isn't it? Maybe the other ones have a less chance to kill me."

Anon quickly flipped through the two other books, finding nothing but pictures of either ponies or images of pony casting magic.

"Of course, out of all the books I could have grabbed. I grabbed one to summon something, probably from hell or whatever this acid dream of a place calls it!"

Sitting back down, the human rested his face into his hands that were supported by his knees.

Groan

"Am I really going to do this. I could just stop now and not have to deal with consequences of demon summoning. I must have had some words of wisdom over the years right?"

Anon thought for a few seconds before and image of Jack and a phrase came to mind. 'Nut up or shut up’.

"Sounds about right he said, muffled by his hands. Right, time to sign my death warrant.

About 5 minutes later, Anon had moved the furniture in the room closer to the walls, giving a large open space.

"First is the pentagram, hope charcoal will do." After many failed attempts, a somewhat decent pentagram had been drawn.

"Now the symbols, I have no idea what order they go in. At least there are only 5 and I don't think they repeat at all so the chance of me getting this right is decently high... Damnit." Drawing a symbol at each point Anon searched through a box labelled 'emergency' in neat handwriting.

"I don't have normal candles so I hope tealights will do. Thank you Twilight, she was always so afraid of blackouts hmm."

"And now a goblet of wine... Its blood isn't it? Well fuck me for thinking I could get out of this."

Pulling out a pocketknife that Anon kept on him at all times, he held his hand over a rainbow-coloured drinking glass and made a small incision in his palm. Pressing the flesh near the wound caused the blood to seep out into a small stream which dropped from his hand into the cup after a few missed drops while lining up. All the while chanting "This is dumb." Over and over again.

Anon sat down on one of the couches pressed against the wall, wrapping his hand in a discarded t-shirt to bandage the hand.

"Umm, I summon you... Demon."

...

"Come forth devil.

...

"Either fucking come here now or don't because I'm now realizing how much of an error this is.

...

"Oh, thank god."

Anon felt a sudden chill before the ceiling light fizzed out. After, one by one the candles begun to snuff out by a breeze that didn't exist.

"I am sure there is a perfectly good reas-"

PFOOM

"WHY DID THAT WORK FROM A FUCKING PCITURE BOOK!?" Anon shouted over the sudden flames that burst from the pentagram.

The charcoal lines began to seep black ooze as the flames began to die down, they began spreading but never passing the most outer lines of the pentagram. Soon, the whole pentagram became just a black shape on the floor. The cup with blood began to shake before sinking into the ooze and disappearing.

The ooze in the middle began to shake and bend as it rose up, making a what looked like a cylinder of the same black substance, the cylinder began to roughly shape into a bipedal from.

Anon stood up again, taking a stance with the knife in his dominant hand, his body screaming at him to run or fight. He was ready for the creature to lunge at him, hopefully driving it off before it eats him.

While Anon was readying himself to face the consequences of his actions, the bipedal blob shaped into something familiar before it began to retreat to the mass on the floor. Slowly revealing the creature, he had summoned. Starting with the head Anon's eyes went wide as he saw a human female looking face slowly revealed as he brown hair dripped with the ooze, her eyes sill closed.

The ooze returned to the floor, finally dissipating as the almost snuffed flames became smoke and the light turning back on.

Anon could not stop staring at this naked figure, focusing on her face surprisingly. With all the time Anon spent hating himself with his 'profession' he was able to read people by their faces and the face this thing wore was, innocent. Like a new-born child, not knowing rright from wrong. So engrossed in his thoughts, Anon dropped the knife which stuck in the floor with a loud Thud.

The creatures’ eyes shot open at the noise, the black orbs staring at the knife as they turned white, black slits began forming as pupils before it blinked. Seeing Anon it looked at him quizzically, Anon finally snapped out of his stupor as they spoke at the same time.

"The fuck?"
"The fuck?"