The Witless

by Reviewfilly

13. Miss Pie, Why Is It So Bright In Here?

The rock farm wasn’t the most cheerful place even on the most beautiful days of Summer. Unlike the lush greenery common to everywhere else in Equestria, Pinkie’s hut stood on a dull grey expanse under a dull grey sky, the only points of interest being slightly differently dull grey rocks which peppered the landscape as far as the eye could see. Silence reigned, broken only by the occasional anguished whistle of gale-like wind.

Without saying a word, Pinkie passed one of the cartponies her will and got off the carriage. Applejack followed her as quickly as she could.

“Miss Pie! Where are you going?”

Pinkie didn’t bother to look back. “To my old, new home,” came her cold reply.

Applejack looked around again. The scene was still just as tragic as before. “But there is nothin’ here.”

Pinkie still didn’t look at her. She stared forwards with a vacant gaze. “It’s no use, no use at all,” she muttered under her breath.

Applejack hurried in front of her. “Miss Pie, don’t tell me… Is this all because of me?”

Pinkie didn’t look back at Applejack. She simply shook her head a little, then continued trotting on. “No, not just you. You ponies are all a heartless, no-fun bunch. I sacrificed so much for you, but you really don’t deserve it. You… You…” She turned around to face Applejack and paused for a second looking for the word. Then it suddenly just exploded from her. "You bunch of meanies! Forgive my Prench."

With stiff steps she trotted inside the hut, which to Applejack appeared like a gathering place for ghosts, due to all the furniture covered in white sheets. Pinkie began removing these, starting with the one that covered a small sign saying “Home, Sweet Home” in blocky black letters on a blank white backdrop.

Pinkie stared at the sign grimly. Her sharp blue eyes reflected in the glass, giving the illusion of her glaring at Applejack. “Well, I suppose it really is for the better if I just stay here,” she murmured.

Applejack stepped closer to her. “Miss Pie, please don’t do this. I know you an’ I didn’t always see eye to eye, but please don’t self-exile yourself because of me. Please, at least before ya make the choice, explain things to me, maybe I’ll understand a little what’s goin’ on,” she pleaded.

"The ‘thing’ going on is the truth." Pinkie’s words rang like hammer-strikes in the silence of the hut, causing Applejack to shudder. “The truth which ponies are trotting on this very moment.”

“I didn’t mean to trot on any truths,” came the quiet defense. Applejack took off her hat and held it against her chest. “It’s just that I’ve seen with my own eyes how—”

Pinkie spun around and stared daggers at her. “Oh, so you’ve seen with your own eyes? I just cannot believe you’re still singing this same song.” Her voice was just as quiet, but obliterating. As she continued her tone and volume rose with each word, until she was almost whining as she stormed closer to Applejack. “The things you see with those blind eyes? What you hear with those deaf ears? And what you think with that empty head of yours? Are any of these more important than the truth? Our truth?” Pinkie jabbed a painful hoof into Applejack’s chest through her hat.

Applejack winced, then opened and closed her mouth a few times. The hat, still pinned against her, crumpled slightly in her hoof. “No, I just… I’ve known Twilight for a mighty long time. If I didn’t know her… Well, I mean, it would be much easier to be a witness to her guilt like that.”

“Guilt? Is guilt what you need?” Pinkie Pie laughed sharply, causing the windows of the hut to rattle and Applejack to wince again. She removed her hoof and took a step back. Her irises were shaking as she stared into the lowest depths of Applejack’s very soul. “Who isn’t guilty here?” she rumbled lowly. “Show me one single mare, stallion, colt, or Moon-forsaken filly in Equestria whose guilt I couldn’t prove in five minutes. Yours, mine, everypony’s!”

Applejack remained silent for a few second mulling her words over. She unfurled her hat and placed it back on her head. “That might be,” she quietly said as she fiddled with it to get the angle just right. “But still, Miss Pie, please don’t exile yourself here.”

Pinkie suddenly gained some spring in her step as she marched across the room. “It’s not the time for moralising, AJ. It’s the time for action. Less talk, more do.” Her mane was still pointing towards the ground as she spun around and threw an accusatory hoof towards Applejack. “For instance, one thing I could easily ‘do’ is leave you here in my place.”

Applejack nodded. “I suppose you could.”

“Or give you a mean bump on your head.”

“Beg pardon, Miss Pie, but somepony already had that idea,” she replied touching her scar.

“I could make you eat sweet pickles or snort water… or hug a cactus,” Pinkie listed coldly.

“Ouch.” Applejack shuddered from the mental image. “Please don’t,” she begged.

“If those aren’t to your liking, I could just as easily not give you any food,” Pinkie continued to thunder, undeterred.

Applejack’s stomach rumbled in protest. “That sounds like the worst option yet.”

Suddenly Pinkie’s tense stare softened and she stepped next to Applejack, putting her hoof on the mare’s shoulder in a much gentler manner. She moved her mane out of her eyes and looked deeply into Applejack’s own. Her quivering irises were frosty and opaque, like a dead mare’s. “But I’ve never been bad to you, Jackie, have I?” she asked weakly. “I only ever gave you fun things to do because I thought you were one of my bestest friends and that I could count on you for any task. Not because you expected anything in return, but because you knew what you were doing is right. That our work is for the good of Her Majesty and her subjects.” She let Applejack go and looked away, continuing in a hushed, croaking tone. “But now I’m very disappointed in you. I don’t even want to be friends anymore… with anypony at all. That’s why I’m leaving Equestria behind.”

Applejack’s heart ached as she stared at the wreck in front of her. Her lips quivered, as she tried to find the right words to say, but nothing came to her mind. She closed her eyes and breathed in, gathering her resolve. Then, finally, she breathed out and hugged Pinkie. “Miss Pie, I will never disappoint you again,” she said firmly. “You can count on me.”

As Pinkie stared at Applejack’s back behind her hug, her disheveled expression and quivering eyes were nowhere to be seen. A satisfied smirk slowly crept on her face. “Jackie, you’ve given me back hope,” she whispered with cloying sweetness, while her eyes above her wide grin burned like hot coals. “Thank you.”

---

By the time the two mares returned to the carriage, Pinkie was bouncing again like usual. They got in and Applejack began to loudly muse. “But if Twilight really confessed…”

Pinkie rolled her eyes. “What now?” she asked with a slight edge of annoyance in her voice.

“Well, it’s just that… Can’t I talk to her? I’ll be your witness an’ all, I swear it on Bloomberg’s apples. It’s just…” She scratched her scar. "If I could talk to her… " The words she was looking for were evading her. “Things would be different.”

“Oh, Applejack, Applejack. You should have just told me so before,” Pinkie admonished her lightly with a smile and a boop on the nose. “If that’s all you ask for, you’ll get to meet your Twilight.”

Pinkie knocked a few times on the wooden frame of the carriage and it sharply turned to the left. They made several more hazardous turns, before coming to a halt in front of a lone, dilapidated building inside a forest. Its crumbling brickwork seemed to be only held together by the will of the Stars and the creeping vines intertwining between the cracks, but Pinkie paid this no heed. She beckoned Applejack inside and the two trotted up a rickety staircase.

They found themselves in a dim hallway covered in dust. An unnerving silence filled the air, broken only by the quiet clops of the duo’s hooves as they made their ways through the corridor. It felt like everypony but them had disappeared and they were the only ones left in a world of silence and emptiness. The darkness of the hallway weighed heavily on Applejack’s back and she was about to comment on this when they came across a deeply reinforced door at the floor’s end.

“And we’re here,” Pinkie said nonchalantly, completely unaffected by the desolation around. She produced a key from her mane and inserted it into the door’s lock. The mechanism opened with a hollow click and the door slowly swung open to reveal a painfully white room on the other side. Its walls, floor, and even ceiling glowed like one was staring into the Sun. A sole lavender blotch lay in the middle, contrasting heavily with the overwhelming blank whiteness around.

“There you go, Jackie,” Pinkie said, pointing her hoof theatrically, as if she was giving a gift. “Here is your Twilight Sparkle.”

Applejack peered into the cell and her eyes began to water from the harsh light inside. “Miss Pie, why is it so bright in here?”

“Because it’s a cell for Solars, silly. They just looove the Sun,” she explained with a giggle. “It’s all about the practical joke.”

“I see,” Applejack replied flatly, as she trotted inside.

“Well, I don’t wanna interrupt the heartfelt moment so I’ll be back in a bit. Have fun you two!” Pinkie closed the door on them, its other side painted just as white as the rest of the room.

Applejack trotted closer to her friend. She felt weird to walk on pure whiteness, like she was hanging in the air, only her hooves still felt she was standing on a floor.

“Twi?” she asked quietly.

No reply.

“Twilight?” Applejack asked a little louder. “Are you awake?”

The mare in front of her stirred. She slowly turned around, but her eyes remained closed. She furrowed her brows as she tried to focus on the voice of the newcomer. “Leave me alone!” Twilight whined. “I’ve already told you everything I know! I’m innocent!”

“Twilight,” Applejack called out to her softly. “It’s me, Applejack. You know, from Sweet Apple Acres.”

There was an uncomfortable moment of silence in the room. “Oh… Hi.” Twilight took a careful step forwards in the whiteness. Her unseeing eyes glanced around looking for Applejack.

“This way, Twi,” Applejack gently guided her, until the two finally stood next to each other. She gently touched Twilight’s hoof to show she was right next to her.

After a moment of silence, Twilight shakily began, “So, uh, how are things at the Acres?”

“The trees are sick. I’ve just been—”

“Okay, sorry, no. That’s not what I wanted to ask,” Twilight cut into her words. “It’s just… AJ, when did they get you?” she sobbed, almost choking on a tear. “I thought letting them drag me here would satisfy them.”

Applejack coughed awkwardly. “Oh, I, uhm. They didn’t. I’m only a witness,” she replied flatly with bitter shame in her voice.

“A witness?” asked Twilight. “A witness to what?”

“To your case,” Applejack said quietly, then sighed. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to, Twi. I really didn’t, please believe me. I’ve got no choice.”

The two fell silent for a few seconds. “I see. Well, then why are you even wasting your time here? To rub it in? Go be a witness,” Twilight lashed back coldly. “What am I supposed to do? Congratulate you?”

“I would, sugarcube, but that’s just the thing. I simply don’t believe the whole thing. That’s why I came here to talk.”

“Well, you’re here now.” Twilight’s words rang even emptier and colder than before. “Talk.”

“I don’t know what to say, that’s the issue! This whole thing is weirder to me than a pony with no fur.” Applejack face flushed red as she struggled to find the right words. Twilight’s blind, hateful glare stung her far worse than the glow of the room. “You tell me what’s going on. I don’t believe a word of what they told me about you.”

“Y-You really don’t?” Some hope crept into Twilight’s voice, but her body remained tense.

“Consarnit, Twilight, of course, I don’t! I’ve known you for years!” Applejack was almost yelling. Her voice hitched and she continued far quieter. “You an’ I’ve been… Y’know… Am I really supposed to throw you to the pigs or what? Please tell me what’s going on. I’ll trust what you say.”

Twilight turned around and began pacing. Her stare softened and her chapped lips pulled into the hints of a flimsy smile, which disappeared just as quickly. Applejack tried to follow her with her eyes, but even the few minutes she spent in the whiteness had them starting to hurt, so she instead followed suit and closed them as well.

Suddenly the quiet clops came to a halt. Applejack felt Twilight approach her and take her hoof into her own, lightly squeezing it. Twilight’s hoof felt cracked and unkempt, like she had been forced to walk miles upon miles. “Look, AJ, there is a reason why I’m here. Perhaps not a good one, but a reason nonetheless.” Twilight whispered softly before letting out a dry, heaving chuckle. “A pony can be guilty even without knowing it herself.”

“I get it.” Applejack nodded, her eyes still closed. “That is, I don’t get it at all. You’ve always been so good, Twi, to me… to everypony. An’ I was there with you at the Acres! I saw no Changeling-books, secret parchments, or you wantin’ to bring down the government.” She fell silent for a second trying her hardest to wrack her brain for answers. “We just had a fun afternoon, didn’t we?”

Twilight sighed deeply. The sounds of droplets hitting the floor broke the ensuing silence. Each little impact felt like a full-force kick to Applejack’s barrel.

“Does any of this matter?” Twilight finally asked. Her voice was nasal and deathly tired.

Applejack burst out, “How could it not?”

“What matters is for me to be found guilty. The court is changing and I didn’t notice it in time… Or maybe I just tried to see the best in ponies. I guess it’s a little too late to guess.” Twilight snorted humourlessly. “Whether out of fear that I might have something against them, greed, or simply spite, whichever pony decided that I’m out also figured I don’t deserve a peaceful retirement either,” Twilight explained, letting go of Applejack’s hoof and stepping away from her. She let out a pained laugh. “To think ‘who isn’t against us is with us’ would turn into this… It was so much easier fighting the Solars from behind their own lines.” Her voice hitched, as she struggled with her tears. “Let’s face it, AJ, we’re all just pieces in a great and terrible board-game.”

“Even you, Twi?” Applejack’s words rang with true bewilderment. “Then what could I say about myself? I’ve got a real bad feelin’ in my bones about this whole thing. Aren’t we gonna get in trouble?”

“Trouble?” Twilight sighed again. “Oh, AJ, I’ve always found that naive optimism of yours so endearing.” A mirthless chuckle left her lips. “But no, ‘getting in trouble’ isn’t what I’m worried about. The fact that you’re here now means we’re already both deep in it. I’ll be happy if you get out of this in one piece. There’s nothing you can do, so just don’t worry about me… Do whatever you must and save yourself if you can.”

Twilight inhaled, wanting to say something else, but before she could the cell door squeaked and opened again. Applejack turned around and opened her eyes. She could hardly spot Pinkie, who stuck her head inside through the dark spot on the wall. “Sooo, I hope you two enjoyed your time together. Come Jackie, we have to go now.” Under her bright smile and chipper voice, Applejack felt the very real possibility that Pinkie would lock the door on her if she didn’t heed her words.

With too much left unsaid, Applejack trotted over to Twilight and pulled her into a deep hug, planting a silent kiss on her forehead. As Applejack leaned back, Twilight opened her tear-soaked eyes and the two looked at each other for one long moment.

Then, Applejack turned around and did not look back as she followed Pinkie outside. The darkness of the hallway felt insignificant compared to the darkness that brewed inside her. The two of them sat inside the carriage again. It was almost surreal to see colors again too. Applejack felt like she would have gone mad if she had to spend any more time inside that cell, which only made her heart hurt all the more for Twilight.

“So, Jackie, are you satisfied now?” Pinkie asked innocently, breaking Applejack away from her thoughts. “How about I report to Her Majesty now that you’re ready?”

We’re all just pieces in a great and terrible board-game, Twilight’s words echoed in Applejack’s mind. Do whatever you must and save yourself if you can. A few drops of tears glinted at the edges of her eyes, but she nodded with a tired smile. “You can report whatever you want,” she said weakly.

“Woo-hoo, that’s the spirit! I knew I could count on you!” Pinkie hoofbumped the air, before knocking on the chassis and turning back to Applejack. “Say, have you ever been to an Apple-shooting contest before?”

The name of the event struck fear into the weary farmpony’s heart. “N-no, never.”

An impish grin spread on Pinkie’s face. “Well,” she said coyly, “then it’s about time for you to see one.”

Comments

[Unimpressive Chaos Lord]

Damn, man, this was something else. I love the choices you've made for this segment. This is the largest thematic deviation yet, at least, that I can see. We have moved from the political satire of the original and the contrast of the ideal soviet man as opposed to the reality of the system, to a story about friendship in the direst possible circumstances. Really appropriate for the source material and applied in such an unrelenting environment. I don't know if it was intentional, probably was, but here we do really have a good contrast of friendships between Pinkie and Twilight. How Pinkie manipulates AJ into giving up her convictions for the sake of a friend, whereas Twilight sacrifices herself for her friends' benefit. It's a solid parallel. I was also wondering where Pinkie might be heading, but this just confirmed that there really isn't a good pony in a difficult situation, but one who is entirely compliant even if, as she admits, her misanthropy makes her labor's objectives kind of meaningless. That contradiction seems to indicate that she has been fully assimilated into her role as a cog in the machine of oppression who doesn't need to know where the vehicle is going as long as it keeps on moving.
That chamber of light is a real torture method I curiously learnt about rather recently. There is a very palpable sense of cruelty in its presentation and objective, and delving into this aspect of the regime so clearly and seriously offers a good contrast with the rest of slap-on-the-wrist prison scenes. The stakes are high and I believe it. Character-wise I am more invested than I was with the movie, and considering the originality of the scene that says something about your work.

[Reviewfilly]

11629624

if it was intentional, probably was, but here we do really have a good contrast of friendships between Pinkie and Twilight

It was, just like Dániel's disappearance is a lot more tragic than it is comedic if one thinks about it, since he really was a staunch believer in the system who was put away for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. I wanted to show that while it's easy to forget what really is at stake with all the comedy, Twiggles is still held for no good reason and she's about to become the fall mare... for what really? She's not even sacrificed for anything important, it just happens.

there really isn't a good pony in a difficult situation

Later in his life Bacsó admitted that he originally wanted to write Virág as a purely evil character, who only acts sweet while being absolutely ruthless below his skin, but he was forced by the censors to soften him a little and make him at least a little ambiguous. Since, thank goodness, such restrictions don't apply here, I wanted to apply this to Pinkie.

the originality of the scene

Sadly, you might end up disappointed, but I cannot with a good heart claim this scene to be wholly my own. There is a scene cut from the movie where Pelikán meets Dániel in solitary confinement in a dark cell and the two have a similar conversation. It was never given subs, but if you're curious, you can see it here on Youtube.

Bacsó was forced to cut the scene from the movie because of an actual mock trial that happened not that long before the movie's creation that really stirred people up and also had a convict locked away in solitary for a long time, so it was not ideologically acceptable to showcase such. Apparently the scene was nearly destroyed and they only managed to scrape it together from a single film reel, hidden away in a studio thirty years later.