Sunset Shimmer just sighed and dredged through another school day after having her friends pretty much cast her out and accused her of being behind the infamous 'Anon-A-Miss' account; having students and some staff of the school giving her the evil eye and watch the latest posts of the account cause the student body of Canterlot High to really tear into eachother apart. No Dazzling magic this time; this was all of them just letting the posts get the better of them.
Sure she was a real manipulative bully before and she could understand and forgive any bad feelings left over but after all she did to help the school against the Dazzlings; she thought that she could at least be heard out and given the benefit of the doubt. She thoguht that she had earned the trust of the student body and her group of friends.
Guess it was all wishful thinking.
After school she went out to the mall to shop for groceries and supplies; the odd job and discarded money that she had found helped her get by ever since first arriving in the human world. But now she had a roommate to get supplies for so she made her way back to her cheap rundown apartment home.
Having to deal with the busy shoppers during this season and the traffic on the streets on her way back; she decided to get her mind off it and play her music after popping in her headphones. Off course she had to choose to listen to music that she had recorded along with the Rainbooms.
"....Few things last, that's all I know but friendship carries on through the ages...." Sunset listened to and then laughed bitterly at the stupid irony; her friends talked about her being one of them and being like family but when push came to shove, they showed just how fragile their trust in her actually was.
Granted she didn't know how Anon-A-Miss got those pictures off her phone but how they just went and believed the worst of her.
She came into the apartment and shouted out "Lincoln; I'm home! I hope you like microwaved chicken and I got some comics for you!!!"
There was Lincoln the younger guest in her apartment who smiled and greeted her coming up with a deck of cards. She remembered that just at the end of November she found him trying to find change in an alleyway. She was concerned and brought him to her apartment; giving him some warm blankets as he looked dirty and scared as he had a bag filled with his posessions.
He told his story that one of his sisters dragged him to her game and then accused him of being bad luck after she lost a softball game; just for some personal time to himself he kept the lie going but did admit that he was being selfish and did break one of his sisters' gold clubs for the act but soon he was excluded from everything and not even allowed in the house.
He thought that he deserved it and decided to move away; leaving behind a note for his best friend and his journies had brought him to Canterlot by this time.
Sunset reacted with all sorts of shock and disbelief but couldn't find any lie in him. He was sure that this was blown out of proportion but ended up letting the small kid stay with her; she knew that she should have reported about this runaway kid but she guessed that she felt lonely with so much time by herself that she wanted a roommate for a while.
She then found the news report soon all the way from Michigan which confirmed Lincoln's story much to her shock and she got a bit angry upon reading about it; the Loud family were regretting their decisions and only realised their mistake when the sister who started it all Lynn lost her big softball finals. Sunset thought about telling Lincoln but he started to grow bad feelings towards his family and Sunset thought that she would make the call after the sleepover.
Thinking that Lincoln's family could patch things up with him and the mere fact that she let Lincoln be home with herself while she attended her sleepover was all the reason why Sunset was no ideal candidate to look after any child.
However then the Rainbooms kicked her out and running home crying and it was Lincoln who comforted her when she told him the story; the one who understood what it was like to be cast aside by loved ones. Sunset lost any intention of calling it in now; losing possibly the only friend that she had left besides Twilight who was doing her best to offer advice in the journal entries.
"Hey Sunset; check out what I have been practicing..." Lincoln told her as he showed his magician's top hat that Sunset had gotten him and put his deck of cards in it and out came a full house of cards. Sunset clapped smiling at Lincoln's joy at one of his activities being appreciated.
From what Lincoln had told her; his sisters weren't supportive much of his hobbies and i interests like games and comic books. Sunset however despite being a top student at a school for gifted magical unicorns; here she was being excited to watch what was really a not really magical illusion but it was impressive that Lincoln could pull this off after practice.
Sunset saw that her journal was lighting up with a new entry from Twilight; her only other friend. The one who gave her a chance after defeating her evil demon self when she would have every reason to just leave her aside; when she first saw her and even when she was a bully, she still found Twilight pretty. Her kindness and the general feeling of butterflies in her stomach when she got a new message from her.
"You got a new message from your girlfriend." laughed Lincoln and then Sunset jokingly glared at him as she went and got the journal.
"She is not my girlfriend...." Sunset retorted opening the book up.
"Oh yeah... It's fillyfriend or marefriend or whatever it's called in your pony world..." Lincoln joked and Sunset tackled him as she ruffled his hair good naturedly with him laughing; seeing him laugh and smile like this brought a smile to her face. She could get the feeling that it's been a while since he was able to bond with one of his sisters like this.
Well if those girls then didn't want the job of being his sister then she will take it.
Sunset could also get the feeling that Lincoln didn't totally believe her about being from another magical world despite the magically appearing text in her journal but didn't say much about it. Whatever; Sunset then started reading:
Sunset, I am so sorry that things haven't got better as I was so sure that you all would have patched things up by now. I have given this some thought and decided that if you truly believe that there is no fixing this or if you find nothing more for you in the human world then you are welcome to return to Equestria. I am sure that Princess Celestia would be willing to welcome you back. I know that you have thoughts about leaving behind Lincoln and I truly hope you are only exaggerating what you have said; he is welcome to join you in coming here.
Your friend Twilight
Sunset had thought about just returning to Equestria but the thought of leaving Lincoln all by himself with no one else stopped her thoughts from becoming serious. She looked his way and asked "Lincoln... Hey.... Do you think that there is much hope of you here if you plan on just being a runaway from your family for your life?"
Lincoln sighed and shook his head as Sunset took a deep breath; "You know... Twilight has invited me back home and how about I show you around and you can start a new life?" Sunset asked and Lincoln's eyes widened unable to believe the offer. "How about this... I fix us some lunch and then afterwards we go to the Sweet Shoppe one last time and if we are still sure about this then off to Equestria. We can bring our stuff and there are definitely arcades, comics and I can show you real magic as I am sure that you would end up becoming an unicorn..." Sunset told him and he was quite literally speechless.
Nice!
11521880
Thanks
11521891
Any ideas for this fic
11521902
I’m a two and sunset shipper so perhapss sunset could end up dating sci twi and I am waiting for the pounds to enter the picture and find out where Lincoln is and when the rain booms realise the truth
11521902
I thought you meant for your fic because I have my own ideas for this one
Another NSL and Anon-A-Miss story has my interest! Keep up the good work!
11521907
Nah I mean for your own. Just to bounce off ideas.
11521902
If you have any ideas then please feel free to message me
11521954
On comments or PM
11521982
If you have ideas please pm but I also do hope you can please comment as I update to hear what you think
Looking forward to how this plays out.
Lincoln family was stupid during that episode. Everyone has bad luck at times no matter how good they are at something and the solution to the problem of bad luck was even dumber. Having him hide in a mascot costume just to protect everyone from the bad luck. Now I can understand him not wanting to go every single event that his sisters are having considering everyone needs some time for just them. Personally I not sure after they kick out their child because of bad luck they should be allowed to be parents.
Honestly, I don't know how there are almost no TLH and MLP stories.
I mean, with Lucy being a fanatical pony, how hard would it be to think that she would hear rumors about Canterlot City and convince her family to visit the city. Damn, you don't even have to go to the city, since clearly after the friendship games magic began to force its way into the human world, even creating the portal on the island and, if the writer wants it, a portal in Royal Woods or other places.
It was a good first chapter, although Lincoln wants to leave home with the little that happened, well, I don't know; I do not want to say that you should almost kill him as they do in almost the majority of stories based on that chapter of bad luck. Let's say that instead of physical abuse, he received emotional and mental abuse, that they applied the absolute law of ice to him, he would be totally ignored, he would be basically nothing to the family, and when he did get their attention he would only be a cold and empty stare ( I honestly don't know if that would be enough to make me want to leave the house or if it really counts as emotional and mental abuse)
Anyway, it will be interesting to see how you develop the story.
11522278
I don’t want to go that far as other nsl stories
11522295
Isn't this kidnapping or something?
She's keeping him away from his family. even if what they did was wrong, they regret their actions.
11522373
though he ran away in the first place technically it is and she was giving him the choice and despite regret; they did leave him outside in the cold
11522377
Keeping him away from his family who regret what they did and not letting them know he is alright is also wrong
Again. I know she doesn't want to be alone, but she is keeping a kid away from his worried family for her own....something which is selfish
11522382
I can understand that
11522382
I also think thatshe coudl realise that before the Anon A Miss thing happened that she was keeping quiet for selfish reasons
Hmm....
I'm gonna say this: you have an interesting idea, but the execution is...middling.
The biggest flaw you have is show, don't tell: the one part of the chapter where this doesn't occur is good because you SHOW that Lincoln and Sunset have a decent relationship.
After this, you should've had Lincoln come up to Sunset to give them a hug, to show that the two have a warm motherly/sisterly relationship. But instead, you harp on about HOW they met rather than showing the process.
When people read a story, they don't want to read an encyclopedia: they want to read about things happening. I think showing the process of Sunset's alienation, her adopting Lincoln as a charge, and how he made it to Canterlot, would be interesting.
Also, what is the setting like? Is the Loud House folded into the world of EG? Or is EG folded into the setting of Loud House? Do the people of Royal Woods know of the rumors surrounding Canterlot? How far is Canterlot from Royal Woods? What was Lincoln's reaction to meeting an actual magical unicorn.
I think you have a good idea, but with the constant exposition, the lack of background, and little exploration of this mixed setting, it doesn't have quite the punch it could have.
You're off to good start, but it just needs a little more spice.