Constructive criticism: Fix up the description. Take the whole author's note part and put it in the bottom of the description. That way people can read what the story's about on the front page. Make more people interested. Plus, there are some grammatical and spelling mistakes.

so please don't be TO tuff on me if it sucks

What you need here is "too tough."

breaks her heart, abuses her, ect.

It's etc.

that toys with her emotions, breaks her heart, abuses her, ect. should feel the pain she felt when somepony that she truly loved that felt mutually way about her was murdered.

Actually this sentence doesn't make too much sense. I'd say: "...abuses her, etc. feel the pain that she felt." Then try to fit in the murdered loved one part later.

Aside from some spelling errors, not too shabby. Will see where it goes.

1418295
thanks
also could you tell me soe of the selling errors so i an fix em :B?

1417844
alright thanks ill fix that and see wat i can do about getting it to make more sense

I think you made your story worst.....

1419729
wat do u mean...?

1419711 No offense intended, but I'm sure someone will beat me to it with the spelling mistakes, but overall, I'm DEFINITELY looking forward to more chapters.

1419755
oh none taken i guess wat i was tying to say didnt come out right lol

1419742.....Hello look at the likes and dislikes

1419779 It's okay. No harm done.

1419795
haters goin hate

1419803.......

I kind of like it so far. I hope the next couple chapters can come out soon.

1455333 chapter 2 MIGHT be out this weekend o3o