The Mare of Steel Vol. 1: A Pony of Two Worlds: Issue #1: A God To Them
"You'll never reach this, Cheese Sandwich!" An earth pony colt with light amber coat and tangelo mane yelled as he kicked the ball as hard as he could.
"You just watch me, Caramel!" Another one with light gamboge coat and dark brown mane yelled as he ran after the ball. He jumped into the air just as the ball was about to fall on the ground and managed to head it towards the goal, but to his frustration, the massive red colt in the goal saved the shot effortlessly. Caramel and Cheese Sandwich groaned in disappointment.
"No fair!" Caramel whined. "Why does Big Mac always get to be the goalie? It's impossible to score against him?" The colt raised a hoof in defense.
"Hey, don't hate me because I'm big! It runs in the Apple family!" He told them teasingly. The other two rolled their eyes.
"Whatever." Cheese Sandwich replied, but his attitude quickly changed back to his usual cheerful demeanor. "Hey, you guys are coming to my birthday party next Thursday? I'm organising it!" The other colts raised their eyebrows.
"You're organising your own birthday party?" Big Mac asked. Cheese Sandwich nodded enthusiastically.
"Uh-huh! I'm practicing for my future as a party planner! Did I ever tell you that's what I want to be when I grow up?" Caramel rolled his eyes.
"Only about eighty times already." Big Mac elbowed his friend in the side for his rudeness.
"I'd love to go, Cheese, but... you know..." Big Mac replied, hanging his head in disappointment. Cheese Sandwich nodded in understanding.
"It's OK, Mac. I understand your work on the farm is important to your family." Caramel was a bit less understanding.
"But they can't even let you off for a single day? Really?"
"Don't get me wrong. Farming is my life, just like for my Ma and Pa and I love it, but sometimes... It just gets so... lonely at the farm with only the three of us. I can rarely get away to meet with you guys. I just wish I'd have somepony else at home to play with." The red colt said with loneliness and sadness. His friends understood his pain, but before they could offer some comfort, their playtime was interrupted by a voice.
"Big Macintosh? Where are you? It's time to go home!" The three colts turned to see Big Mac's father, Bright Mac near the school playground and looking for his son. Big Mac sighed.
"Well, that's my cue. See you on Monday, guys." He bid farewell to his friends and ran up to his father. "Hi, dad." Bright Mac smiled down at his son and ruffled his mane.
"There you are, son" He chuckled as the colt pulled his head away from his hoof. "Where have you been? I know your classes ended over an hour ago." Big Mac looked down in embarrassment.
"Sorry, dad. I was playing with my friends and we lost our track of time." His father smiled understandingly as they started making their way home.
"It's OK. You knew we don't mind you seeing them as long as it doesn't get in the way of work." Big Mac nodded.
"Yeah, I do." Big Mac replied half-heartedly. A tone Bright Mac caught immediately.
"What's wrong, bucko?" He asked, lifting his son's chin to meet his eyes.
"Nothing." Big Max tried to shrug it off, but his father saw right through it.
"You know what your mother and I think about lying." Big Mac sighed.
"I love working on the farm, but sometimes I wish I just had a little more... company." Bright Mac raised an eyebrow with a look of mock hurt.
"Are you saying that we are bad company?" He teased, causing the colt's eyes to widen.
"No! Of course not! I just..." But his father cut him off wtth a laugh.
"Relax, kid! I'm just teasing you! I know exactly what you mean. I know it can't be easy having all those big acres all to yourself with nopony around your age. Believe me, I felt the same when I was your age." Now that caught Big Mac by surprise.
"Really?"
"Of course! I used to be a young colt too, you know." Bright Mac chuckled. Big Mac rolled his eyes. His father's teasing could really get under his skin sometimes.
"And how did you deal with being so lonely?" He inquired.
"I kept remembering that one day, I'm going to have foals of my own and my work will help me provide for them. I didn't have many friends myself and I also didn't see them very often, just like you. It wasn't easy but the thought of family helped me through it." Big Mac wasn't so sure he could do the same. Starting his own family still felt like ages away.
"I wish I could feel the same way as you." He said with a sad sigh. His father just kept smiling. He was still too young to understand, but he will soon enough.
"You will, son. You are an Apple like the rest of us. And to us, family is everything."
After another exhausting day of bucking apples, Big Macintosh decided to take a relaxing walk around Sweet Apple Acres. The sun had already set and it was a chilly late fall evening, so the air was in perfect condition to cool him off.
Just as he thought, his father and he have been at it for hours ever since they got home. They had a quick bite to eat and then it was out to the fields. Of course, it was easier to make it through a hard day of work after one of his mother's meals. Not to mention, Big Mac was bigger and stronger than most colts his age, so he could bear more work.
But that also means that more was expected of him. And while Granny Smith's apple pie waiting for him at the end of the day was as good an inspiration as any. But in the end, he was once again stuck out there in the middle of the orchard alone and lonely. He tried to power through with the same thoughts as his father did, but no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't shake his sadness off.
With a heavy sigh, he let himself fall on his back onto the grass. He looked up at the sky. It was a beautiful night with clear skies decorated with millions of stars. Not once did Big Mac find himself wondering just what was going on beyond them. His imagination was the only thing to offer some color to the monotony of his life. He wanted something to finally shake that monotony up. He wanted some excitement in his life. Something different from the norm.
He had no idea at the time, but he was about to get just that.
The next time Big Mac opened his eyes, he saw a streak of light crossing the sky. His eyes widened. He had never seen a shooting star before, but he heard of the tradition of making a wish when it happened. He wasn't sure if he believed in it, but in a world where magic was commonplace, was it really that much of a stretch that shooting stars can grant wishes? It would cost him nothing if he tried. He closed his eyes and focused as hard as he could on the thing he wanted the most.
'I wish...' He wasn't sure what he wanted to wish for. Or to be more precise, he knew what he wanted, he just didn't know how to wish for it. He wanted to end his loneliness on the farm. He thought about it for a few moments before finally making his decision. 'I wish I had a little brother or sister...'
He reopened his eyes to see if anything happened and, to his surprise, it did! Big Mac narrowed his eyes to get a better look at the star as it became brighter and bigger. He raised an eyebrow in confusion. Was this what happened when a shooting star granted the wish it's observer made? Big Mac sat up in the grass to get a somewhat closer look and his eyes widened again, but this time, it was with horror as he realised that the star wasn't getting bigger. It was getting closer!
As it got closer and closer, it turned into a huge fireball that descended towards the ground. Big Mac couldn't even imagine the destruction it would cause if it landed anywhere near the farm, but fortunately, it looked like it would avoid their home and land next to the Everfree Forest. A few moments later, that was exactly what happened and Big Mac laid down on the ground and covered his ears to protect them from the sound of the impact. But it was still pretty loud.
Big Mac got up and saw smoke rising up from the spot where the star or whatever it was must have hit the ground. His curiosity overwhelmed his fear and he slowly got up to make his way towards the crater. Crawling cautiously over the hill, he saw a huge trail of ash and burnt ground leading towards the edge of the forest. Following the trail, Big Mac eventually reached a large black round object that looked like one of those wrecking balls construction workers used to tear down buildings sitting in the ground.
He started to inspect it, but didn't notice anything peculiar about it. It didn't look dangerous, but considering it just entered the planet's atmosphere, it probably wouldn't be a good idea to touch it. Regardless, Big Mac eventually gathered the courage to go nearer and as he got close to it, he finally noticed a curious distinguishing feature about it. At the bottom of the object, he saw a symbol that looked like an S inside a diamond silhouette. Big Mac wasn't an engineer, but in that moment he realised that whatever this thing was, it wasn't a star. This was manually made.
As a further proof of that theory, Big Mac suddenly heard a loud hissing sound coming from the object that made him jump back. For a moment, he was afraid that the darn thing would grow tentacles, grow to several stories high and go on to destroy the farm and the nearby town of Ponyville with laser beams like in one of those cheesy sci-fi films his friends always begged him to watch with them. But before he could run away, he saw that instead of any of that, it was merely the top of it that opened up into two separate parts. This wasn't much more reassuring. Big Mac was uncertain if he wanted to see what kind of alien abomination was inside it, ready to eat him and/or take over the world. But after a few moments of trepidation, nothing happened.
Big Mac eventually gathered his courage back together and slowly went closer to the object to peek into it. What he saw was definitely not what he expected. Laying in the object was a tiny orange filly with blonde mane tucked in and sleeping soundly. Apparently, even the violent landing of her transport wasn't enough to wake her up. Big Mac stared at her for a few more moments before she started to squirm and whimper beneath her covers. She was waking up. The filly opened her eyes and looked at Big Macintosh with curious orange eyes.
"Huh?" The red colt tilted his head in confusion. An action the filly mimicked.
"Huh?" Big Mac wasn't sure what he was supposed to do, but almost as if the universe was guiding the unfolding events, the filly answered that for him. She reached out her tiny hooves towards the colt and started whimpering again, wanting to be picked up. Guided by an unknown instinct, the colt wrapped the tiny pony up in her covers and lifted her out of the object. The filly sighed in contentment at the sensation as Big Mac held her in one of his curled forelegs and was about to go back to sleep when a loud voice pierced through the air, breaking the harmony of the scene.
"Big Mac, get away from there!" It was his father, Bright Mac, running towards him alongside his mother, Pear Butter. The loud yell startled the filly and she began to cry, but the two adults were so busy with investigating whatever crashed near their farm that they didn't even notice at first. Big Mac started rocking her in his foreleg, which eventually did manage to sooth her as she buried her face into Big Mac's chest and whimpered.
"What in Faust's name is this thing?" Bright Mac wondered. His wife, Pear Butter, looked down at their son and finally noticed the filly in his hoof.
"I'm more interested in where it came from. Along with her." She said, pointing at the baby Big Mac was holding.
"She was inside that." He replied, pointing at the object that fell out of the sky. The two adults looked back at the strange thing with uncertainty. Was their son seriously implying that the little filly he was holding was an alien? Bright Mac peeked inside the object and saw a small makeshift bed just big enough for the filly, surrounded by strange technical devices far too advanced for the ponies of Equus to understand. Or at least for the average country pony folk like him. And in the middle of all that tech stuff was what looked like a map of several stars and planets. Bright Mac's jaw fell. Suddenly, the idea didn't look that unbelievable.
Meanwhile, Pear Butter took a look at the filly. Her face was still buried in her son's chest and her cries were reduced to small whimpers. Pear Butter reached up to her face and slowly caressed it, causing her to turn around and look at her. The filly cooed as her eyes met the mare's and when she felt the warm motherly radiation pouring from it, she giggled and reached out to her. Pear's cautious expression melted into a smile as she took her into her hoof.
"Well, hello there little one. Where did you come from?" She asked, taking her into her hooves. The filly merely giggled in response as she played with the mare's curls.
"Honey, taking a look at this thing, I don't think it's quite so unthinkable that she indeed came from up there." Bright Mac told her. She went up to her husband to see what he meant and indeed, the insides of the - for the lack of a better word - space pod was indeed quite otherworldly, but before she could comment on it, she felt a tug at her mane. She looked down to see the filly sucking on it, causing her to chuckle.
"Aww, looks like somepony is hungry. No wonder after such a long journey from up there. Come, I'll take you inside and give you something to eat." She then turned to her son. "Big Mac, come help me with the little one. Your father will handle this thing." She said, motioning to the space pod. Bright Mac looked quite disheartened at having to carry this thing all the way back to the house, but before he could object, his wife and son have already left.
"Granny, we're home!" Big Macintosh called out to his grandmother as he barged into the house. The elderly mare looked relieved, but nevertheless gave her grandson a stern look.
"Well I say it's about time, youngin'." She chastised her grandson. "It's bad enough that the sky is fallin' down on our heads without havin' to worry about you also bein' out there." Before Big Mac could defend himself, his mother did it for him.
"Withdraw your claws, Granny. Big Macintosh had a very good reason for being out there during this chaos." Granny Smith raised an eyebrow.
"An' pray tell what that reason might be?" Pear Butter just showed her the mewling infant in her hoof, causing her mother-in-law quite a surprise. "Just where did this little one come from, Pear?"
"She was out there. And Big Mac found her. Inside the thing that fell out of the sky." Pear told her quite bluntly. Granny Smith was pretty old and she had seen quite a lot of things, but truth be told, Pear wasn't sure if she would take that story at face value just like that. She saw sadness grow on the old mare's face as she looked at the filly.
"The nerve of some ponies. Launchin' a defenseless little thing out into space like that. Why, she's probably not even a day ol'." The orange filly sensed the old mare's sympathy and gave her a warm smile, which was all she needed to win her heart. "Well, aren' ya just sweet as an apple pie?" She cooed, tickling the filly's stomach, making her giggle. While Pear was glad to see Granny accepting the new arrival so quickly, she didn't forget about why she came in.
"The poor thing must be terribly hungry. Could you warm up a bit of your famous apple sauce for her?" The old mare left to do that immediately while Pear turned to her son. "Honey, could you go down to the basement and bring up your old highchair?" The colt nodded eagerly and left to do as he was told. On his way down to the basement, he ran into his father who had just finished carrying the space pod down to the basement.
"Dad, are you sure it's safe to put it down here?" He asked as he nervously approached the object.
"Well, quite frankly, I don't know where else to put it. We still don't know what it is, but as long as we leave it alone, it probably won't explode." Bright Mac reassured his son. Big Mac gave it one last glance before heading to pick up the highchair his mother sent him for.
"I reckon that's for our guests," Bright Mac said. His son nodded.
"Mom sent me for it. She doesn't have the heart to leave the baby out there alone and hungry." While Bright Mac was uncertain about the infant in their kitchen, he had to admit that neither did he.
"Well, let nopony say the Apples aren't hospitable folk." He said with a small smile as the two made their way back up. By the time they got back to the kitchen, Granny Smith's apple sauce was already ready. Bright Mac quickly set up the highchair and placed the filly in it. Apparently, Pear Butter's intuition about the filly being hungry was correct. As soon as she saw the spoonful of applesauce being offered to her, she immediately tried to swallow it. Pear pulled the wooden spoon away just in time.
"Not so fast, sweetheart." She chuckled. "It's fresh off the stove. It's still boiling hot. I'll have to blow it a little." The mare put the spoon in front of her mouth and did just that. "See? Now you try it." The filly seemed to understand what Pear wanted her to do, so she took a deep breath and blew at the spoon. What happened next made everypony in the room jump back in shock, just in time to avoid the table's fate which was now covered in a deep layer of ice.
"What in tarnation?" The four of them exclaimed in unison. Everypony in the kitchen just stared in stunned silence, with the exception of the filly from the stars, who just giggled and clapped her hooves in amusement. Big Mac was the first one to get over his shock and went to free the bowl of applesauce from the ice.
"Well, she did manage to cool it by blowing." He chuckled, picking up the spoon and attempting to feed the filly again, while the rest of the family went to free the table from the hold of the ice. This time the filly eagerly consumed the food offered to her, but perhaps a little too eagerly. When Big Mac tried to dip the spoon back into the ball, she noticed it's head was no longer there. He looked up at the filly who was making a weird face before spitting the applesauce still in the head of the spoon on the table.
"Blegh!" The filly made a disgusted face while shaking her head. This did not sit well with Granny Smith.
"Now that's just rude! Ain' nopony ever reacted that way to my applesauce."
"It's not the applesauce, Granny." Big Mac defended the filly. "She bit off the end of the spoon. Must have been old and rotten." Big Mac left and returned with a metal spoon to attempt feeding once again, only to get the same result as with the wooden one. Even Big Mac couldn't hide his surprise at the strength of the filly's mouth anymore.
The filly wasn't happy. She was hungry but she was being fed yucky wood and metal instead of actual food and the look on her face combined with the quivering of her lower lip quickly made the Apple family realise what was coming. Fortunately, Big Mac acted quickly. He ran off and returned with a bottle before pouring the applesauce into it and putting a nipple on it and stuffing it into the filly's mouth just as she opened it to cry. She was surprised at first but as soon as she sucked the first drops of applesauce out of the bottle, she immediately calmed down.
Big Mac picked her up and laid her on her back in his hoof to make her feeding easier. The applesauce was gone in seconds and the filly giggled happily as Big Mac pulled the bottle out of her mouth before yawning. Big Mac started rocking her in her hoof and she quickly fell asleep. This came as a huge relief to his parents, who were worried about just what else this strong little filly might do when she was awake and unhappy. In a few minutes, they finally managed to remove the ice off the table.
"So what do you think?" Pear Butter asked her husband once they finished.
"I'm not sure what to think. You saw what that filly did. Who knows what else she's capable of!" Pear nodded.
"She really is something." She admitted as she looked at their son rocking the filly from the stars.
"Granny Smith? Could you set up my old crib upstairs?" He asked his grandmother, who happily complied.
"Your crib?" Pear Butter asked in amusement. "Are you planning on her staying with us?" Big Mac looked up at his parents in confusion.
"Well, she has to." His parents chuckled.
"Oh, does she?" Bright Mac raised an eyebrow. "And why is that?"
"Because I think I'm the reason she's here. When I saw her space pod, I thought it was a shooting star. You know how lonely I get all alone on the farm, so I wished for a little sister or brother." He explained. "That means she's family now. And just earlier today, dad said to us Apples, family is everything." Pear Butter chuckled.
"Did he now?" She mused, kissing the stallion on the cheek. "Well, nice work, dear. You are such a good role model." Bright Mac smiled weakly, realising that his own words were being used against him. He had no choice but to concede.
"Well, then, let's take your little sister upstairs. Looks like she's really worn out from all that traveling." Big Mac's face lit up and she ran upstairs with the filly still in his hoof. "Not so fast, son. You'll wake her up." He called out after him. "We already saw what she does when she's hungry. Let's let's not find out what she does when her sleep is disturbed." He chuckled. His wife elbowed him in the side lightly.
"Dear, behave yourself." She chided before following her son. When they got upstairs, the filly was already asleep in the crib with Big Mac and Granny Smith gazing affectionately down at her. Pear Butter saw that her husband still had reservations about the whole thing, so she decided to try and butter him up. "You know, if she's gonna stay with us, she's gonna need a name. I named Big Macintosh after you, Bright. Now it's your turn." Bright Mac was surprised by the proposal but nevertheless touched.
"Well, I always reckoned if I ever had a daughter, I would name her... Applejack."
"Applejack..." His wife pondered it over. "I like it. Strong and fitting for an apple farmer." She smiled, happy that she managed to soften him up.
"Hey, what's that around her neck?" Big Mac asked. The parents looked down and saw that there was indeed something hanging from a string around the filly's neck which became visible once she wriggled her way out of her covers. Bright Mac reached down and gently removed it. It was a small, long metal rod shaped like an icicle. On the top of it was a symbol that the males immediately recognised.
"I've seen that before!" Big Mac said.
"So have I. It was on her space pod." His father added.
"What do you think it means?" Pear Butter asked.
"I don't know, but if they tied it around her neck, it must be important." Granny Smith scoffed.
"Phooey. They shot their own filly out into space. Anythin' important lost it's meanin' with that. Wherever and whoever she came from, she's ours now. Throw it away. She won' need it here." Bright Mac shook his head.
"No, mom. For whatever reason, they sent her down to us. Whether she wants to learn what that reason was or not is entirely up to her. I will put it away with her pod. I will tell her about this and let her decide when she's ready. When she's older. But for now, let her sleep. She had one heck of a journey." The rest of the family nodded in agreement. Big Mac leaned into the crib and kissed the filly on the cheek.
"Sweet dreams, little sis." The four of them left the room now belonging to the youngest member of the Apple family. Pear Butter shot one last loving look at the sleeping filly and whispered one last thing before closing the door.
"Welcome to the Apple family, Applejack Apple."
The next day, Caramel and Cheese Sandwich resumed their ball game from yesterday in the playground next to their school. But they really missed the third member of their little group.
"Man, it really sucks how Mac's family won't let him play with us even on a weekend." Caramel complained. Cheese Sandwich shrugged.
"Yeah, I know. The more the merrier. That being said, they also say three's a crowd. What's with that?" He pondered.
"Well, I'd certainly take three over two of us. It's not fun playing ball just the two of us. You never save and you never score against me either. I almost miss him saving all my shots." He complained as he readied himself for another shot. But when he actually took it, a red blur appeared out of nowhere and pushed the ball away before it entered the net.
"Be careful what you wish for, Caramel!" Big Macintosh told him with a smug smile. The two colts were surprised to see him off the farm so early in the day, but Caramel eventually snapped out of it.
"What happened, Mac? Your folks let you out of the yoke for a change?" He teased.
"There's a different kind of work for us today." Big Mac announced happily. Caramel rolled his eyes.
"Only you would be happy about more work. If you're here to drag us into it, forget it. Just because your family are workaholics doesn't mean all of us have to be."
"Actually, I'm here to invite you over to the farm to meet my little sister."
"Sister?!" The two colts yelled in surprise.
"You didn't even tell us your mom was having a foal!" Caramel exclaimed, flabbergasted.
"She wasn't. We found her inside a star that fell out of the sky last night." Caramel and Cheese Sandwich looked at each other. Obviously, they had reservations about believing this story.
"Big Mac, did you have too many apples falling on your head while bucking again?" Big Mac rolled his eyes.
"Just follow me, okay? You'll see soon enough." His friends were still skeptical, but decided to play along. This they had to see. When they got to Sweet Apple Acres, Big Mac led them to the porch where Pear Butter was feeding little Applejack with a bottle of applesauce while rocking her in her forelegs. She looked up to see her son leading his friends towards her excitedly.
"See? I told you so!" Big Mac told them, proudly showing off his new sister. His friends were indeed surprised, but Caramel eventually rolled his eyes.
"This proves you do have a sister, but where is the 'star' you found her in?" He challenged. While the two argued in the background, Cheese Sandwhich walked over to the filly.
"Well, hello there, little star filly. I'm Cheese Sandwhich and I'm very happy to meet you! We're gonna have a lot of fun and party a lot together!" He then pulled out a cupcake. "Here you go! A 'Welcome to Equus' cupcake!" Applejack gasped in wonder and took the cupcake, but Pear Butter snatched it from her.
"Cheese Sandwich, don't give her that! She's just a day old. She can't eat a cupcake yet. Besides, she just ate." The colt smiled reassuringly.
"Don't worry. It's not a real cupcake." He whispered. "It's just a squeaky toy with a bit of sneezing powder in it. A harmless little prank perfect for a baby.
"Oh, that's alright then." Pear sighed in relief. A relief that was short-lived as she remembered just what happened to their dinner table last night. But before she could save the little colt, it was already too late.
"ACHOO!"
The next thing Pear knew, she saw Cheese Sandwich flying through the air at breakneck speed and crashing into one of the apple trees, causing all the apples to fall off of it, right on top of him. Big Mac and Caramel were snapped out of their argument and ran to check on their friend.
"Cheese, are you ok?" Caramel asked, digging him out of the apple pile. The colt was shaken, but apart from a few bruises, he was fine. It didn't take long for his smile to reappear.
"Wow! That's some sneezing powder!" He cheered. "Can I do it again?" Pear laughed nervously.
"Uhh... I have a better idea. Big Mac, why don't you go play with your friends while I check on how your father is doing on the field?"
"Finally!" Caramel sighed. "I'll set up the goal! I'm not going to drop this until I beat you!" He said to Big Mac before leading Cheese Sandwhich away. Pear was about to leave too, but Applejack started to wriggle in her hoof, reaching for Big Mac and whimpering.
"Well, I suppose she wants to play with her brother and his friends." She smiled. "Can you watch her?"
"Sure, mom." Big Mac replied as he took her into his foreleg.
"Also, I couldn't help but overhear your argument with Caramel earlier, Big Macintosh. I'm going to have to ask you keep your new sister's true origin a secret, would you?" Big Mac raised an eyebrow.
"Why?" Pear sighed.
"We don't need all of Equestria coming down here and turning our farm into a tourist attraction if they find out we're raising an alien filly, Big Mac!" She told her son sharply, her tone quickly doing the job of making Big Mac seeing things her way.
"Yes, mom." He said, looking down in embarrassment. "Don't worry. I don't think they believed it anyway."
"Good. Make sure it stays that way." Pear said, hoofing the infant to him, who immediately relaxed in her brother's hold. Big Mac set her down in her basket while he and his friends resumed their ball game. Applejack watched them with fascination and decided she wants to join the fun. She got out of her basket and started crawling towards her brother.
"You wanna play too, Applejack?" Big Mac asked with a smile. "Here! This is how you do it!" The colt gently kicked the ball towards her and, just like last night, she seemed to understand exactly what was asked of her. She tried to stand up on her hind legs and after some clumsy tumbling around, she raised her right hind leg and kicked the ball.
The colts watched in stunned disbelief as their ball flew towards the sky so fast they only saw a black and white blur. An unfortunate pegasus just happened to fly that way and the ball hit him right in the head, knocking him out of the sky. Thankfully, he managed to recover before he hit the ground and soon he was floating in front of the three colts with an angry look on his face.
"Is this yours?" He asked, holding the ball in front of them. Big Mac glanced back at his sister, who just sat on the ground giggling and clapping. It was at that moment when he realised that having a little sister around the farm will not at all be like he imagined.
The next two years have fortunately passed without any further incidents. Applejack was not only incredibly strong but also exceptionally smart. By the time she turned two, she was already speaking immaculately and possessing most basic knowledges that most fillies only learn when they go to school. Even her adoptive parents were surprised how quickly she developed. Even Big Mac didn't speak this quickly when he was at her age.
Applejack quickly developed a taste for the same apple-based foods as the rest of her family. Her Bright and Pear even joked that their apples are so good that even aliens loved them and how they should open an interstellar market. She also had the stomach of an apple. At two years old, she ate as much as a full-grown stallion.
And besides the stomach, she also had the heart of one. Bright and Pear did a good job in raising her. Despite her young age, she was already very helpful and eager to work, so Pear Butter had her help her around the house. Applejack was always eager to help, but hanging out clothes to dry and washing dishes didn't feel enough. Pear knew that a filly of her abilities would be wasted away on their farm, but she wanted to make sure she was ready before heading out.
"Ma, I want to go out to the field and buck apples like Pa and Big Mac!" She complained as she wiped the dishes her mother had just washed. Pear Butter smiled.
"Patience, my little apple seed. You need to become big and strong before you can go out there and buck apples." She assured her daughter.
"But I'm already strong!" She complained, running over to the dinner table and picking it up. "See?"
"Applejack! You put the table down! This instant!" Pear never thought she would ever have to say such a thing to any of her children. The filly complied.
"I'm sorry." She looked down in shame. "But I just feel so useless. I'm sitting here with all this strength! I should be out there helping ponies and helping Pa and Mac in the field would do that! They're working all day to feed the ponies of Equestria!" Pear knew exactly how to lift her daughter's spirits.
"And do you think they would be able to do that if they didn't have us washing their clothes and cooking their meals?" Applejack wasn't sure how to respond to this. "Everypony needs somepony doing these kind of things for them and you are helping them just as much by helping me in here." Applejack smiled at the encouragement, which in turn made Pear smile, happy that she was able to cheer her daughter up. "Now, come on! Those dishes aren't going to clean themselves."
Once the dishes were clean, Applejack helped her mother put them away. Pear was extra careful in placing them in the old cupboard as it was in rather poor condition and looked like it could fall off any minute. She had just finished placing the last dish inside and was about to close the cupboard, when she suddenly slipped on a puddle of water that spilled out of the kitchen sink. Instinctively, she reached to grab the first thing she could to stop herself from falling. Unfortunately, that turned out to be the still open cupboard door and she tore the old thing off of the wall. While she managed to break her fall, the cupboard was now falling towards Applejack in front of her.
The mare had no time to stop the old thing from crashing down on top of the filly. Pear could only stare in horror, unable to imagine how Applejack's small body would be able to survive such an impact, but her horror turned to astonishment when she saw that Applejack's body didn't break. It was the falling cupboard that broke apart on her body! The filly was completely unharmed. Applejack looked around herself, staring at the broken pieces of wood and marple around her, before looking up at Pear in tears.
"I'm sorry, Ma! I didn't mean to break it! It was an accident!" Seeing her daughter in tears immediately made Pear get over her shock and scooped up the young filly into an embrace.
"It's okay! It's okay! It's not your fault! I've been asking your father to fix that cupboard for months! But what about you?! Are you alright?!" Applejack nodded.
"Yeah. I didn't even feel it." She told her. Pear couldn't believe it. A normal filly would have been badly hurt and cut at best. She knew Applejack wasn't exactly normal, but she wouldn't have expected this. Looks like they still didn't see everything she was capable of. She didn't know what else to expect, but she did know one thing: Bright Macintosh is going to get it when he comes back from the fields.
Three more years have passed. Applejack was now five years old and ready to start helping with the bucking. She was excited, but her parents were more nervous. Applejack no doubt possessed the physical strength to work on the field. More than that to be exact. It wasn't Applejack they were worried about, it was the trees.
Applejack's super strength, combined with the revelation three years ago that she cannot be hurt by physical means meant that they will have to teach her to control her strength unless they wanted to end up with many of their trees exploding in billions of splinters.
"Where are we going, Pa?" Applejack asked as Bright Mac led her through an abandoned part of the orchard.
"Well, sweetie, I'm sure you have noticed in the past that you are... slightly stronger than other foals your age." Applejack crossed her forelegs.
"You don't have to remind me. Big Mac will never let me forget how I kicked his stupid ball out of town. I don't know how many times I said I'm sorry." Bright Mac chuckled.
"Then you understand why we will have to find a way to help you control your strength. If you want to be an apple farmer, we can't have the same things happening to our trees. Do you understand, honey?" Applejack nodded.
"Yes, daddy. What do I have to do?"
"Follow me!" Bright Mac beckoned. The two made their way to an old, abandoned part of the orchard where Applejack saw several hug rocks standing in rows.
"What are these rocks doing here, pa?" Applejack asked. Her father winced as he remembered how he carried them all the way over here.
"I set them up for you to practice on them. My back still hurts from hauling them. But I think they're perfect for what we're about to do." He then stopped in front of the first rock in the row. "Now look here. I'm sure you know that rocks are much harder than trees. If I try to buck them like our trees..." He spun around and kicked the rock as he would a tree. Applejack saw the stallion wince in pain. Obviously, he was used to bucking less solid objects.
"...all that happens is I get hurt. But if you try it..." Applejack walked up to the rock and mimicked his father's actions and as soon as her legs connected with the rock, it shattered into a million tiny pebbles.
"Now do you see?" Bright Mac asked. "I used just enough strength as I use when I buck a tree. You'll have to find that same amount of strength to not destroy the tree when you buck it."
Applejack walked up to the next rock and bucked it with as little strength as possible. The rock remained as one and it fell back on the ground. Applejack smiled in satisfaction. It didn't break. That was good. But she felt like she could use a little more. She went to the next rock and bucked a little harder than before. The rock didn't break this time either, but there were noticeable cracks in it. This time, she used a little too much strength. She went at it for the next several minutes, but she didn't feel like she managed to get it right. Not knowing what else to do, she turned to her father.
"How am I doing?" Bright Mac assessed the work she did on the rocks.
"Well, none of them broke. I'd say that's progress." He smiled before turning back to her. "How do you feel you're doing?" Applejack shrugged.
"I don't know. I feel like my buck is either too weak or too strong. I can't find the middle road." Bright Mac patted her head with a smile.
"I have an idea! Why don't you focus on the same strength you used when you used to give me and your Ma hugs? Remember that? You would never used your strength to hurt any of us, right?" Applejack shook her head furiously.
"Of course not!"
"Good! Then use that same strength on the next rock as you used on us!" Applejack did as she was told. She walked up to the last rock and closed her eyes, imagining her parents smiling down at her proudly, her granny offering her another spoonful of her delicious applesauce and her brother ruffling her mane playfully. Applejack smiled in bliss as she let the feeling of love overflow her, then turned around and bucked while remembering the strength she used while hugging her family members.
When her legs connected the rock, she didn't feel it break. Or even crack. The solid rock surface was still there just as it was before she kicked it. Applejack slowly opened her eyes and dared herself to look behind herself. When she saw that the rock remained in perfect condition, just like when her father bucked it, she screamed in joy.
"Woohoo!" She yelled as she jumped in ecstasy. She apparently forgot about controlling her strength as she launched herself several meters up into the air before falling back down. "Did you see that, Pa? I did it!" Bright Mac grinned and pulled her into an embrace.
"You sure did! Good job, Applejack! I'm so proud of you! But the real rest is still ahead of you." Applejack pulled out of the embrace and looked up at her father in confusion.
"What test?"
"You are going to have to try it on a real tree." Bright Mac told her. Applejack was uncertain. Ever since she could remember, she wanted to buck apples like her parents. But now that the time actually came for her to try, she felt nervous. Sure, she managed to control her strength, but would it work the same on a tree as well? This question kept bugging her until Bright Mac led her back to the fields with one of the fertile apple trees standing proudly.
"Here it is, honey. Your time to prove you can control yourself and buck a tree without destroying it. You can do it!"
Applejack sighed. She closed her eyes and recalled those same feelings she felt when she bucked the last rock. She let out a breath she had no idea she's been holding before spinning around and pulling her hindlegs back for a kick. The next thing she felt was a bunch of apples poking her in the flank as they fell on the ground. She was too scared to open her eyes.
"Did I do it, dad?"
"Why don't you see it yourself?"
She finally gathered the courage to look at what she had done and felt a huge sense of relief wash over her when she saw that the tree was completely unharmed. She had done it. Her very first apple bucking. She smiled wider than she ever had before as she looked up at her father, who had tears in his eyes.
"Good work, Applejack. I'm so proud of you." He then leaned down and picked up one of the apples. "The very first one that hit the ground. Your very first one. Here, enjoy it!" Applejack was about to swallow the apple, but suddenly she stopped with a look of concern, which her father noticed.
"Is something wrong?" He asked. Applejack gave the apple a sad look.
"Pa, if it's okay with you, I would rather take it home to Ma." Bright Mac looked surprised by this, but just shrugged.
"Sure. It you wanna. But your Ma can have all the apples she wants. In any way, since she has your granny with her at home, who can bake an apple into any dish."
"I know, but I just wanna do something nice for Ma. I'm a little worried about her." Bright Mac raised an eyebrow.
"What do you mean?"
"Haven't you noticed? There is something growing inside her belly. It's very small but it's there. And lately I've been hearing something like a... I know it sounds weird, but like a second heartbeat coming from her." Bright Mac didn't know what he should be more surprised about. The fact that Applejack could see things inside another pony's body and hear something coming out of it, or the implication he suddenly got from his daughter's story. Eventually, he decided not to be surprised at anymore of his daughter's newly discovered abilities. The other thing, however, he found much more exciting.
"Don't worry, honey. Your Ma will be just fine. Now run along and play. I have a feeling just what might be happening to her. And if my hunch ends up being right, you and your brother will be the first ones to know."
Two more years have passed. Applejack was now seven and currently in her second year at Ponyville Elementary School. Overall, she was very happy. She finally was able to control her enormous strength enough to join her family in the farm work, her mother gave life to a beautiful little filly named Apple Bloom and they also had a new dog around the farm whom she loved dearly. She was also a very good student and had a lot of friends at school.
And yet somehow, she still wasn't fully content. She felt like somepony with abilities like hers should be doing a lot more. She was happy when she could finally start bucking apples. Feeding the ponies of Equestria was a great way of helping them, but it didn't feel enough.
Applejack never bothered to ask her parents why she had these abilities and never brought the subject up either. She was an Apple and that was more than enough for them. And while Applejack was grateful for that, but lately the question has been on her mind lately. She decided that she will bring it up later today after school.
As she made her way there from the farm in the morning, she heard the loud, distant whistle of a train. Applejack grinned cheekily.
"Back for more, aren't you?" She glanced towards the train tracks and saw the approaching locomotive turn around the bend. She got into position. "Alright then, three, two, one..."
As soon as she saw the engine pass her at full speed, she also sped up. It had become a daily morning routine for her to race the engine from the farm to school. When she discovered that her speed was also far above a normal foal's, she decided she might as well have fun with it. It was also great exercise.
She looked to the right and saw that the train was still keeping up with her. It must have been a new, faster model. She took that as a personal challenge. She sped up even more and saw her surroundings becoming blurred. This frightened her a little as it had never happened before. She had no idea she was capable of running so fast.
Despite the blurred background, she managed to make out the school building. She stopped running and slammed her hooves into the ground and came to a screeching halt, leaving long, deep tracks behind her. When she stopped, her momentum made her fall forward and her muzzle crashed into the ground. While it didn't hurt her, it would have been awkward if somepony saw it.
"Which naturally means that everypony saw it, right?" Applejack asked herself half-heartedly before looking up. Sure enough, all the colts and fillies on the school playground were staring at her dumbfounded. She grinned nervously at them.
"Uh, I tripped..." She muttered before running off. She hid behind the school building and peeked out from behind it to see that everypony had forgotten about her and went back to talking and playing with each other. She sighed in relief, wiping her forehead. Her relief soon became pride when she heard the whistle of the train as it entered the station. She had won again.
Applejack decided to wait there until the first class started to avoid more embarrassment, until she heard a scream.
"Let go of it, you brute!"
"Huh?"
Applejack turned around to see a white unicorn filly being restrained by two larger colts, - a red earth pony with a black mane and a blue unicorn with a green mane - while a yellow unicorn with a red mane levitated a piece of clothing in front of him.
"Aww! The wittle pwincess is afwaid I'll tear her pwetty dwess?" He mocked.
"I put days of work into it!" The filly cried. "Why are you doing this?" Applejack narrowed her eyes at the scene and marched to confront the bullies.
"Hey! Just what do you think you're doing?!" The bullies turned to see Applejack approaching them angrily. Since she never displayed any of her powers at school, they had no idea who they were dealing with.
"Oh, looks like we have a wannabe hero here, boys." The unicorn colt who Applejack assumed was the leader of the group said. "Why don't we show her how much we appreciate heroics around here?"
Applejack wasn't afraid. At least not for herself. She knew there was no way they will be able to do harm to her. It was then she was afraid for. If she wasn't careful, she might do serious harm to them. But she couldn't just let them antagonise this unicorn filly.
"Let her go, now! And give that back to her!" She ordered, motioning to the piece of cloth. The unicorn bully stood his ground.
"Make me." Applejack needed no further encouragement. She went to tear it out of the magical grip of the unicorn, but when she reached for it, she felt all of her strength leaving her. As if the magical energy was somehow draining her. She never felt anything like this before, so the feeling was quite startling to her. She backed away in shock as the unicorn bully laughed.
"Ha! You just wanted to take it out of my magic?! How stupid are you?" Applejack then felt a pair of legs wrapping around her. It was the red earth pony who went to restrain her, but she barely paid attention to it. She was still under the effect of what just happened. "I'll deal with you later. Right now, let's get back to you." He turned back to the white unicorn filly and pulled out a pair of scissors. The filly's eyes widened in horror.
"NO! You fiend! Don't you dare!"
Applejack narrowed her eyes further. She was disgusted by the vileness of these colts. That filly had done nothing to them and they were about to destroy her creation. She had never felt this angry before. She saw red. Literally, as unbeknownst to her, her eyes started glowing with red light as she stared at the colt holding the scissors. But before he could cut into it, he cried out in pain as he felt the scissors heating up in his hooves to an unbearable degree.
"OW! What the..." The colt cried, rubbing his hoof to ease the pain. His confusion turned to anger as he formulated a theory about what happened. "You!" He snapped at the white filly. "This must have been your trick!" Her eyes widened.
"What? No, I wasn't! I don't even know any magic like that!"
"Well, I don't see any other unicorn around here!" He then motioned for the pegasus colt to carry the filly over to him. "I guess I will have to teach you a lesson too!" He growled, cracking his hooves.
At that moment, something inside Applejack snapped. She easily pushed the red earth pony off of herself, before picking him up and hurling him towards the pegasus in the air like a ragdoll. The two colts crashed into the ground as Applejack marched over to the stunned unicorn and shoved him against the wall.
"You filthy, no good varmint!" She screamed at the terrified colt with her eyes still glowing red. "I oughta..."
"Applejack, stop!" Applejack turned her head to see her brother, Big Macintosh staring into her eyes pleadingly. "Please! Don't sink down to their level! You can't afford to lose control!" His words got through to her as she remembered her own strength and realised just what she was about to do. She dropped the bully and backed away, staring at her own hooves in horror.
"Big Mac... I... I..." Her brother wrapped her in a hug.
"Shh... It's okay. It's okay. You snapped out of it. You're okay now." Applejack cried into her brother's shoulder for almost a minute, before she finally had the strength to pull away, she saw Mac's friends, Caramel and Cheese Sandwich staring in shock at the scene and, what frightened her even more, her teacher giving her a stern look.
Applejack gulped. She was in for it now.
Applejack sat in front of the principal's office with her head hung low in shame. Her father had been called in. This has never happened before. The punishment she'd receive wasn't even what worried her the most. It was her father's inevitable disappointment. He taught her how to control her powers in public on a weekly basis, especially when she first started school. She never felt so bad in her life.
She didn't know what to expect. Would she be expelled? Would she have to go to another school? Or would she remain at the farm for all time now? She couldn't decide which one was worse. As she worried about her fate, she looked up to see the white unicorn filly she was trying to help shyly peeking around the corner and staring at her. When she noticed that Applejack spotted her, she briefly looked away before gathering her courage and walking up to her. The two fillies stared at each other for a while in silence, but sure what to say, before finally, Rarity broke the silence.
"Hi." She spoke quietly.
"Hi." Applejack replied with just as much uncertainty.
"I... I just wanted to thank you for helping me back there." She eventually managed to say. Applejack just nodded.
"No problem."
"That Bright Mane is such an awful, awful pony. No one ever stood up to him. Why did you?" Applejack shrugged.
"I didn't want to hurt him. I only wanted to do what was right. And that was helping you." She replied. The unicorn nodded appreciatively.
"You were simply wonderful out there!" She said enthusiastically. "How did you get so strong?" Applejack rubbed the back of her head nervously.
"Well, it's an earth pony thing. We're just strong by nature. Also, I work out a lot, eat healthy and buck trees with my family."
"Oh, that sounds exhausting!" The unicorn replied with a groan. "Still, I think I should start working out more. I want to become as strong as you." Applejack chuckled.
"You might wanna lower your expectations a little bit, sugarcube. My strength is... unique." The unicorn was undeterred.
"Then I will just settle for becoming as strong as I can be! I will not allow myself to be terrorised by the likes of them anymore!" She declared with dedication.
"That's more like it." Applejack said. "How's your clothing, by the way."
"You managed to save it!" The unicorn replied happily. "I sew it for the school play next week. It took ages! I want to be a fashion designer, you know." Applejack had a hard time imagining how you could become a fashion designer in a world where the inhabitants don't usually wear clothes, but she smiled regardless.
"That's great! I hope you succeed!"
"I know I will!" The unicorn smiled back. "I... I have to go now. Class is about to start." Applejack nodded.
"Yeah, right. Well, see you around then. My name is Applejack by the way."
"I'm Rarity!" The unicorn replied. "Thank you again, Applejack! You are my hero!" She told her before taking her leave. Applejack was surprised by that declaration, but it felt good. Her shame about her actions disappeared and was replaced by satisfaction. She was no longer afraid of what punishment she would receive. She had done good and that knowledge was all she needed.
As soon as she finished that thought, the door of the principal's office opened and her father walked through it, looking down at her with a hard, unreadable expression which was enough to bring Applejack's shame back.
"Am I... expelled?" She asked in dread.
"Not yet, but you have been suspended for the rest of the week." He replied. "Words cannot express how disappointed I am in you, Applejack. We have talked about this before. You can't lose control like that!" Applejack hung her head.
"I know. But what was I supposed to do? Just let them beat that innocent unicorn filly to a pulp?" Bright Mac sighed.
"Applejack, listen!" He started as he knelt down to her eye level. "I also heard some pretty nasty things about that Bright Mane and his gang. They sound like nasty pieces of work who definitely need a lesson. And I know you can give it to them. You can punch them so hard they fly out into space, you can freeze them with your breath, you can blow them away. You can. But just because you can, doesn't give you the right." He gave her enough time to process what he just told her before continuing.
"Applejack, I want you to promise me something. Promise me that what happened today won't happen again. No matter what happens, no matter how bad things get, no matter how much ponies bring out the worst in you, promise me that you will never use your powers to hurt others."
"I promise." Applejack vowed solemnly. Bright Mac looked into her eyes and knew that Applejack meant what she said. And for the first time since he arrived at school, he smiled.
"Good girl. Now let's go home. But don't think that means you're off the hook. You will be spending a lot of time helping me on the field today. And tomorrow as well."
"I understand." Applejack replied as the two made their way back to Sweet Apple Acres.
That day, Applejack swore that she would never lose control again. She would be better than that. She was not going to let her anger get the better of her again. Her conversation with Rarity opened her eyes. There were other ways to help ponies. Better ways. And one of them was to inspire them to become better themselves. And from that day on, that's what she was going to do. She was going to make a difference. She was going to help and inspire ponies to become better. But most of all, she would make her family proud.
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Great job on this first chapter of the second story in your new series. Definitely liked the work that went into the exchanges, characterizations, action and future chapter set-up in this flashback chapter. Definitely appreciate how the tone changes for different characters (which makes sense; darker tones work well for the characters that are supposed to be dark, but a lighter tone is more appropriate for the more optimistic characters). Anyway, REALLY liked how Big Mac would be reflecting on the loneliness in is family before AJ's rocket arrived. Also liked the difficulties shown in feeding Baby Applejack at first because she was too strong for even the metal feeding spoon. Also liked the little bits of foreshadowing with Caramel and Cheese Sandwich (who, unless I miss my guess, is going to grow up to be a pretty big player in Pinkie/Captain Marevel's story). And, in addition to the strength, also showing the bits of most of the other powers (particularly super-breath, heat vision, super-senses [particularly the foreshadowing for Apple Bloom's incoming birth], super-speed and invulnerability). Also appreciated Applejack's first meeting with Rarity as well as the demonstration of her weakness to magic (not she knew about that yet) even though she still managed to scare off the bullies. Also appreciated how Bright Mac understood why Applejack would want to help somebody else being bullied, but caution her concerning her powers.
VERY certainly looking forward to more of this.
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As always, thank you for the comment!
Action? What action? This chapter had barely any. Lol.
The first part about Big Mac's loneliness was the hardest to write for some reason, but Applejack's arrival needed some kind of buildup to it.
Yeah, I myself especially liked little Applejack sensing little Apple Bloom inside her mother's stomach. Either that was my favourite part of this chapter or her meeting with Rarity. That was an important part as I also have a role for her, so I thought Applejack could start inspiring other heroes from the start.
I was very tempted to add the "With great power comes great responsibility line during Bright Mac's pep talk, but I wasn't sure if it would be a good idea. What do you think?
Stay tuned for more!
I would have liked Winona to play Krypto.
By the way, who will play Lois Lane and Jimmy Olsen?
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Thanks for the response back. And, yeah, I could see where you would be tempted to include that, but maybe you COULD include that later with Supermare saying something along the lines of "As they say in the comics, with great power, there must also come great responsibility." as someone is asking why she is using her power to help others with no visible expectation of personal reward.)
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I'm not planning to feature versions of those characters. I'm not even sure Applejack will have a love interest.
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Any specific thoughts on the chapter itself?
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Huh?
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You know, telling me what did you like and didn't like about it? Would be much appreciated.
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.
I liked EVERYTHING
And now I wonder when Applejack will discover the truth of his powers and come to his confrontation with the pony version of our "favorite bald villain of all".
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Thank you for the insight.
Applejack will learn her true heritage in the next chapter and the baddie will get an introduction in the third. I recently had an interesting idea on how to connect them even more while making the villain even more significant in the process.
Stay tuned!
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Of course
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You may need to look for misspelled and repeated words too. Most misspelled words i've seen are simply words where you've likely accidentally hit the wrong key. For example when you wrote the word 'Alarm' what's in the fic reads as 'akarm'
Please don't think i'm trying to make your fic look bad, i'm not. I'm enjoying and I would like to see it do well.
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I do not think that. I really appreciate your advices. I shall ran a grammarly check on this chapter first thing tomorrow.
Thank you for your feedback in helping to make this story better! It's much appreciated.
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You're welcome. I would recommend you do that check for all chapters so far.
I suppose "The Batmare Vol. 2 (which will starting Spring of next year unless I miss my guess [five weeks or more per main character than another five week minimum for the group all coming together]) will be partially dedicated respectfully to the memory of Kevin Conroy - given what happened yesterday.
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I think I lulled people into a sense of false security with my weekly updates so far. But the truth is, I've been slacking off lately. Issue 2 of Mare of Steel Vol 1 will have 6 scenes (1. Applejack reflecting on her life. 2. Buffalo raid on Appleoosa. 3. Applejack finds out the truth. 4. Applejack seeks out a certain location in the Frozen North. 5. Proper kryptonian training. 6. Settling the buffalo-appleoosan conflict.) And I'm only at the end of the first.
By the time I'll get to The Batmare Vol. 2, it might be too late for a Kevin Conroy tribute. Especially since I've been doing a bit more rescheduling recently.
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Perhaps not. After all, there was at least one episode of Superman the Animated Series that was dedicated to Jack Kirby's memory even though Kirby had already been dead for years at that point. Same thing with Justice League the Animated Series doing a Gardner Fox tribute. There was even a recently released interactive cartoon "Cat Burglar" that was a very loving homage to Tex Avery cartoons.
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I'll be reading the first chapter for Supermane soon. I'll let you know if i see anything that'll need fixing. Glad i can help you in some way.
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But... Didn't you already read it? You left a comment on it, saying I made mistakes. In fact, you left this comment on the Suoermare Issue #1 as well.
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No i haven't read it yet. Don't know how the comment has appeared on the Supermare chapter. I did mention in a previous comment to check all chapters since the issues i talked about were present in all the chapters i had fead up to that point so i figured they'd be present in the later chapters.
Just finished this chapter. It was a good chapter. I like your take on Applejack's origin for Supermare and look forward to the next issue.
Same issues as before, not many though. You did use the wrong words a couple times. One big thing i picked up on is the bullies that were tormenting Rarity. When you introduced them it was 2 unicorns and an Earth Pony, but when Applejack threw the one restraining you mentioned a pegasus.
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Glad you enjoyed it.
I'm a little shocked. I went through this chapter with Grammarly before and fixed all the issues it found. I'll try again.
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It might be best to re-read the chapters yourself. I've found you can easily pick up on things wrong if you read it again after a little while. You can't just rely on a program.
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Okay.
Wanna see the entire cast and the stories I have planned for the future? I always enjoy sharing them and any feedback I can get on them is useful.
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I'd be happy to help but i'm currently busy with RL and my own fanfic. But i'd be happy to help where i can.
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You won't need to do anything just tell me your opinion.
I'll PM them to you to avoid spoiling it to anyone else.
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If you have Discord, it might be easier.
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No, I don't.
Well, while you haven't yet settled on how to use Gilda, at the very least Rainbow should be this world's Barry Allen to be a speed match to AJ.
Oh you... You're giving her that lame weakness to magic aren't you. Meh I say. Meh.
Really enjoyed Rarity here strangely enough. And Cheese. Cheese was really fun.
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As always, thank you for the comment!
Well, weakness to magic was always part of the package for Kryptonians. So in Equestria, they would be at a major disadvantage. I also enjoyed adding the part with Rarity. Either that or the part where Applejack sensed little Apple Bloom inside Pear was my favourite part!