A Kindled Change

by Darkevony

Chapter 2: Lost

Chapter 2

Lost

My sight has left me. Everything around me is unfamiliar, so I cannot see like I used to. The breeze was unlike any I had ever felt. There were now so many unknown sounds from all directions that I had never heard before. Even the ground before me that I could feel through the touch of my hooves was unrecognizable. It was as if the vision I had relied on all my life was blurred for the first time, like mist fogging up the eyes.

This realization shook me to my core. Had I become one of the formless? Blind and empty...

Was there anything left for me to do? I could not pray and hope this all away. Fate had intervened again, and now all around me, there is light instead of darkness. I've lived in the shadows all my life, as a shadow, and shadows cannot fight back against the light. Darkness had always been my haven, but now I've lost that too. Fate is not so remorseful or kind, so all I could think to do was shield my eyes from this light with the understanding that this too was Fate's cruel joke.

What I feared more than Fate's design, however... was not being able to see again. It feels as if my very self is fading away into nothing. It is strange, confusing, and unknown. That is what scares me the most. The fear of not knowing... of what could be beyond this light or of what this change meant for me... and what of my life it would destroy.

A whisper in the air suddenly speaks to me, like a voice in my head I had heard once before. "Feel the world around you." A subtle breeze strokes my hair gently at those words, like saying hello to an old friend. It is comforting, cool, and kind. A sensation I had nearly all but forgotten. A warm feeling surged from within me when I came to a sudden realization. I finally understood the familiarity in its embrace. The one I had always felt in the darkness was a fragment of its true self, shaped and corrupted by the walls and crystals. This, however... this was a pure, strong gale both gentle and graceful. I could not say for sure just how much joy I was feeling right now.

It had been a while since the Mistress's presence and that of the formless had disappeared. Still sprawled on the ground with my eyes shut tightly and holding onto whatever I could grab, I slowly move my forelegs to feel the ground before me. Tiny prickles began to rub against my coat, almost like bedding of sorts. I roll over to a large patch of whatever it was. In focusing on that soft and comfortable feeling and the warmth of the light around me, my body finally relaxed. Even without being able to see, I could tell that this was grass. Fragments of my memory fill my mind the more I lose myself in this sensation and I think back on many mental images of a green landscape.

"Hear the sounds it makes." That whisper again. I still dared not open my eyes, but slowly I begin to focus my hearing on the sounds around me. The sound of the breeze creates a gentle symphony as it brushes against trees. I hear the pitter-patter of small feet running around in the woods, probably from rabbits and squirrels. I hear... A rushing sound, like that of water. A creek perhaps? I could not remember if I had ever seen one before, so how was it that I knew this? Of any of those things? It felt like I was slowly piecing together the familiarity of it all. I lose myself in the sounds for a while, trying to take in all that I can.

Where was I? I'm afraid that I could truly be blind and that fear stops me from opening my eyes altogether, much as my heart soars at the things that were happening all around me. It all feels so comforting... So warm... I quiver at the touch of the prickling cold sensation of the dew gathering on the grass. There are no words for this, none that I could even conjure up to describe what I felt at this very moment. It was a feeling way beyond what I could have fathomed not even moments ago.

"Take in the smells, the scents of this sweetened earth." The breeze picked up something along with it. A sweet scent now filled my lungs. In my mind, I could almost tell exactly what it was. It was the scent of musty, wet dirt mixed with the blooming of flowers and sap from the nearby maple trees. Along with the cool, refreshing air from the wind, it made it all that much more intoxicating. For several minutes, all I hear are my own breathy inhalations.

A strong feeling hits me all at once. A deep and powerful longing with an intensity I had never felt before. There it was again. HOPE. I had yearned for all of this for so long, even without me knowing it. My fear was melting away as hope began to replace it. Now more than ever, I wished to open my eyes.

"Open your eyes, and see what only you can see with them. Experience it all." That voice... it fades this time, fades into the wind itself. But right about now I needed no encouragement. I know in my heart what I want to do. It is something I MUST do. I muster every ounce of courage in my very soul and slowly, I open my eyes.

I'm blind...

It is nothing but white, blinding light. Fear and panic quickly take root. I feel my chest rise and fall as my breathing becomes heavy and rapid. I feared not being able to see. Now I feared that what I felt, what I heard, and what I smelled could be a lie. I fear being truly blind... But it was different this time. Now I dared not close my eyes.

I hold my breath. I become numb. I become deaf. The veil of white fog slowly lifted, and my vision finally returned. With it, came a slew of indescribable feelings, the world materializing itself before me.

Tears begin to form in my eyes. They cloud my vision, and in a panic, I brush them away. The world... all of it... all I had wished for. Full of color, of wonders, of greatness. I can see. I can see. I can see. I repeat this in my head over and over and scan my surroundings. The grey clouds with silver linings streaking across the sky... The mesmerizing movement of the grass beneath my feet and the green leaves of trees gently coaxed by the gentle winds... The birds who flew by, perching occasionally on the long branches...

It was a world in rhythmic motion.

(Illustration by WolfieDrawie on Deviant Art.)

I pull myself up off the ground weakly and I manage to walk to a nearby pond, only to collapse again in front of it. Sitting over it, I look down to see my reflection. My tears begin to agitate the stillness of its glass-like surface. My tears... of joy. I see a familiar shade of yellow. All that time... my eyes are how I remember them, untouched by the vile green of the formless. My skin is a pale black color. It isn't as deep as the others, but it marks me. It is a mark of what I am... A nearby tree shakes with the wind and droplets of water fall onto my back and hair. My hair began to shimmer like stars in the light that bounced off the pond. It reminded me of the thing I most wished to see, above all else. Yet there was no sign of the sun or the moon in the sky, as the clouds that had now formed darkened the very world around me.

It suddenly hit me that I was unsure of where to go. I had no direction anymore, no place to rest, and no home...

A sudden rain washes over the land and I am left to sit in the middle of the storm. I pick up my weary body and walk blindly ahead down the creek's length. I start to think that all I have known seems pointless now. This sense of freedom... this feeling of joy. It is all so... alien. It feels so strange. So different from the darkness. It's a good feeling. I want nothing more than to enjoy the world around me.

Yet, my heart still aches. I do not know where I'm going, where I am, or even who I am. I'm all alone in a new world... I am...

Lost