A Kindled Change

by Darkevony

Chapter 7: A Future in Fate's Hands

Chapter 7

A Future in Fate's Hands

My moral obligation remained the same. Twilight spent all of that night trying to convince me of a future together by voicing her thoughts out loud about her plans moving forward as if it were only natural that I would live my life alongside hers. Having seen the world of ponies and thinking more of my memories of the past, I'd come to realize that my ability to see the fire in everyone's souls was unique to only me. For if she or someone she knew could see them too, then she would've known to be more careful with her words as they did not reflect what I could see as reality in her heart. Her once steady bright flame had begun to dim and waver. I knew even before she had even said it...

The one she was actually trying to convince was herself.

Having been left to rest my illness away, I could not imagine myself going anywhere just yet considering my addled body. It was the first time I could ever remember getting sick. Despite the pit in my stomach, I could not get myself to eat any of the food offered to me. My thirst was insatiable, but I could only drink a bit at a time since it hurt my throat to swallow. The whole of my body felt heavier than I had the strength to carry myself with, and all my joints ached. It was unnerving, as though I were being crushed by an invisible force and being consumed from within at the same time. In my desperation, I couldn't help but cry all that while long. Thankfully Twilight had been around to comfort me each time, having redoubled her efforts to take care of me after having paused her search for my home.

She was naturally inquisitive and her curiosity was plain to see, even without having to look at her soul's flame. In taking care of me, I would often hear the start of many questions she wanted to ask me. I was thankful that she was thoughtful enough to stop herself from pressing them further as she likely understood that it would've been a bad idea to ask me while I fevered and struggled to communicate properly. I dreaded the moment I would have to answer those questions since even I did not have the answers to them. It dawned on me then that I did not even know the full extent or nature of the life I had lived until now. The darkness, the Mistress, Fate... and myself. I hardly knew anything about any of them. I never tried understanding my place within them or even their purpose.

Only now was I slowly starting to see the world for what it really was... and what Fate had orchestrated for me as destiny. I was still doubtful of its intentions, but I could finally begin to understand the machinations of its design. Of why it was that I was caged within that darkness nearly my whole life alongside the Mistress and the formless. Our very existence was a danger to the world above, doubly so for the ill-intentioned of my kin. It was a very saddening thought that I could not escape from so long as I stood by Twilight's side, even as she assured me of the opposite with her words. Her flame told differently. Tried all I might, I would be reminded of this my whole life so long as I tried to live it in this way.

Even so, I wanted to enjoy the remainder of my time here with Twilight. The way she looked at me with such gentle eyes, the way she cared for me so tenderly... I wish I could've lied to myself right there and then, for my most heartfelt wish was the selfish desire to stay together. But my moral obligation still stood stronger than anything else in my heart. The things I wanted to do and things I needed to do...

"Wait, seriously Twi!?" A familiar little dragon's voice had said from the opposite side of the door in a hushed but surprised whisper. It was the dawn of that first day Twilight had seen what I really was. Now I could hear her explaining the situation to Spike from a distance that she still believed to be out of my earshot. No doubt, he got a proper scolding for that outburst. "If you're not playing with me, this is a very serious matter you know! Shouldn't we report this to Princess Celestia?"

"N-no not yet. I need time to think and find out everything I know about her. Besides, she's really sick right now and can't really talk well just yet." She stammered through some of her words. It was evident that she was still severely conflicted about how to handle my situation. It had all been too sudden for her to process correctly, no matter how smart she was. Feelings are not so quick to change overnight, after all.

"But it's a changeling! We only recently had that incident at Canterlot! She's a real danger, Twilight." The little dragon huffed and stood his ground. He was right. Much as his words stung me, I couldn't help but think he was a real voice of reason that Twilight would've been wise to have listened to. Unfortunately for the little dragon, she was playing it strictly by ear on this one and would not be persuaded out of her intuition.

"I know, Spike. Believe me, I know. But I can feel it. She's a good kid deep inside." It seemed Twilight had already prepared herself for any sort of resistance from her friends, having said this almost like she knew that this rebuttal was incoming. I’d lowered my head to no one in particular, deeply moved by Twilight's trust in me. Naturally, that feeling only brought me closer to my moral obligation. I didn't want to have to betray that trust.

"What about on the outside then? She's already practically lied to us this entire time by taking another form, hasn't she? Whose image do you think she stole?" Twilight was silent on this. I could feel her soul waver. The little dragon sighed, perhaps at something that he saw in her face at that moment. "I'm not cruel enough to tell you no on this, Twi. I... just want you to be careful, alright? You said you found her hurt in the Everfree Forest of all places, yeah? It's hard to think that this is anything but a trap by her. I'm warning you now. If you see me and I sound at all different from my usual... suspect the worst."

The little dragon went about his day at this, and Twilight was left to pick up the pieces of her wavering trust in me. It must not have been easy to be chewed out by the ones you loved, and by such inarguably sound and serious retorts. I had not been able to improve my ability to hide my emotions, for she surely noticed them in my expression then as she comforted me once again when she came back to tend to me. After the pat down, she turned to leave the room to meet the rest of her friends who had arrived at her summons.

"I..." I had heard myself say somehow wanting to explain myself and finding no concrete answer in my head. Though it wouldn't have mattered if I’d found them, for my voice was too small to reach Twilight. I felt helpless to help her.

She must've finally gotten a good sense of the range on my hearing since I could not hear their conversation as well as I had with Spike, but every few moments or so I could hear the audible astonishment in their voice and the heated rise of a few select words. I could tell that she was reliving Spike's conversation, the flame in her soul dancing between a dim and bright glow. Between my fever and being unable to pinpoint the nature of Twilight's talk with the rest of her friends, my anxiety grew. When she finally returned, her expression was a mixture of so many different and complex emotions I could only guess at. The flame in her heart reminded me of the little wick from the candle of the first night I'd spent here, as it teetered at the brink from a strong gale.

In her face, I could read what looked to be intense anger, deep sadness, painful frustration, disappointment, and some resentment of some kind. Perhaps to the average creature, the only thing showing on her face at that time was a simple, quiet smile. But I could not be fooled by words alone. It was just another reminder of what I was causing by being here. Maybe it was simple superstition, or perhaps there was a deeper truth to it, but it definitely felt like all these negative swirling emotions were affecting me. I woke up in even worse shape the next day as I had barely even the strength to breathe it felt like.

Twilight was beside herself. She had paced up and down all night even when not tending to me in her worry. My condition was getting worse, and she did not know why. To someone like Twilight, the aspect of 'not knowing' terrified her. At first, she had felt confident that this was something she could handle after having lived with Spike for so long. Try all she might, none of her usual home remedies were helping this time. My physiology as a changeling was alien to her. She alone could not find a solution. After having that argument with her friends earlier, she was hesitant to call on them for help. But come the next morning she caved and brought into the room two of her friends. I'd seen them only once before, but in my moment of panic, I had not engraved their names into my mind. It was a yellow one with a long pink curly bang, and an orange one with a peculiar accent.

"I'm sorry about what I said to you the other day." I heard Twilight lead into the room with that apology. "I admit I'm not big enough to know everything. I admit my intuition is not always correct. And I admit I'm not perfect but please... I'll swallow my pride if you please help me out on this. She needs you." I could feel Twilight's strong emotions. The heat emanating from the fire in her heart was overwhelming. So much so, it physically hurt to be in the same room together. I could feel my throat sound off on my pain.

"Come off it, Twi. You reckon we need your apology to help you out? 'Course not. It's why we're here in the first place." The orange one had walked up to me with no problems to begin inspecting my symptoms. The fire in her soul was rigid and strong, like a big hearth in wintertime. "Ya, seen it before. Apple Bloom had a serious case of it too when she was younger. Though she got better after some grub Granny cooked up. I'ma go borrow your kitchen if ya don't mind."

"Thank you, Applejack, this means the world to me." I could hear the relief in Twilight’s voice and a sense of ease wafting over her soul.

"Don't thank me yet. Gotta get the little one up and running first." Applejack had said as she walked out of the room. It was now or never. I would commit their names to heart for Twilight's sake.

"You too, Fluttershy, I'm glad you came on such short notice."

"I-It's okay Twilight, I don't deserve your apology. I um, should've spoken out for you back then... but I'll do my best to help you now that I'm here...though I-I don't know much about them so don't expect too much from me." Fluttershy's timid voice was almost as quiet as mine, and there was a soothing calmness to it. Unlike Applejack, however, there was hesitation in her steps in being slow to approach me. But just like Applejack, you could feel how much they both cared for Twilight and what their friendship meant to them so she no doubt braved this experience for her sake. Yet, upon getting a close look at me it was as if she’d transformed into a more confident pony. "Oh! Poor thing. She must be hurting a lot inside."

Fluttershy drew two concoctions from a pouch she had brought and poured them onto my chest, head, and back. She then fed me another one that tasted like a mix of many different herbs. She stroked my hair gently as my breathing finally slowed and a soothing cold fought back against the burning fever. Her soul's fire was very much the opposite of Applejack's, but it was very warm and nurturing.

"It looks like she is doing better already." Twilight's voice wavered while looking on at her, from a mix of relief and a hint of sadness. I could feel her disappointment in herself for not having been able to help me. It really hurt her, it seemed. But she had already helped me so much and was helping by having brought those two here. I couldn't quite speak up yet due to the fever, but I finally had the strength to reach out to her, hoping to convey my feelings of gratitude even somewhat. She hugged me there and then thinking I had motioned for one, which caused Fluttershy to smile sweetly at her. I could feel Twilight's embarrassment in her cheeks as they warmed up in contact with my own, but she refused to let go. It seemed Twilight had already abandoned her pride in front of those two with this incident.

"Oh um, I guess I should mention, it's not really a cure. I just used the remedies I use to relieve similar symptoms when my animal friends are sick."

"Bet you the orchard that this is though. I'm certain of it." Applejack said walking in with a gruel made with apple chunks and rice. With not much strength in my chewing, Applejack held me up while she fed me. Warmth filled my empty and icy belly almost immediately and I could feel myself relax even with a few bites. I couldn't finish it in one go which worried Twilight a bit. "Given time anyways. Granny reckoned that it's your own body that fixes you right up. She says all you need is to give it a bit of easy-process, nutritious fuel." She smiled with all the confidence in the world, which eased everyone in the room.

The room went very silent when everyone noticed that Twilight had teared up a bit and was drying her eyes as she held back from sniffling. "Sorry, I'm just relieved. These are some happy tears, I promise." She spoke up after seeing the three worried stares on her.

"You know, sugarcube, I should've told you this sooner..." Applejack responded a bit despondently. "I'm sorry for making light of you and this little one yesterday. Seeing you like this is like looking into a mirror with me and Apple Bloom. You've definitely sold me on her, that's for sure." She got a nod of approval from Fluttershy at these words.

"No, please, don't be sorry. You guys have no idea how much you've helped me." Twilight meekly added continuing to exchange apologies until satisfied. With the fervor in the room finally dying down, the conversation eventually shifted toward the rest of her friends and what she would do about talking to them again. "I guess you're right. I should go apologize to them anyways. They're all my important friends.

"Right you are. Except for maybe Dash. Far as I'm concerned, she earned those words." Applejack huffed, making the other two laugh heartedly. "She can be blunt, but you know she meant well, right?"

"Yeah. We all do at this point. Can't be honest with herself." Twilight looked over my way to see if I had finally looked calmer among her friends. "Can I ask you guys to look after her while I'm gone? I'm gonna go fix things with the others."

"Don't worry about a thing, Twilight. She's in good care." Fluttershy spoke up, occasionally brushing my hair with a comb she'd produced from her bag. With that, Twilight walked out of the room.

Perhaps if it’d been under different circumstances, my heart would've been racing with panic. But by then, it’d felt truly comforting to be around those two. Applejack fed me the rest of the gruel for a while and told me stories about her orchard, while Fluttershy continued to take care of me in various ways, petting me and comforting me with some lullabies.

"I'm surprised you're okay with her, Shy. I'd’ve thought you'd be more on guard, considering the whole incident recently. Not to be rude but we all know you're careful about who you cozy up to."

"O-oh, um, you know, I thought so too at first. The ones in Canterlot were pretty scary. It's probably what stopped me from speaking up for Twilight." Her words showed how much she brooded over her failure. Fluttershy really lacked the confidence to be open about her thoughts it seemed, but her efforts were endearing in their own way. "When I took a look at her, she looked so much like a baby bird I guess I couldn't help but forget my worry."

"I get what you mean. First impression when she was a pony didn't really strike you like much, but her now..." They’d turned to look at me. It’d then occurred to me how embarrassing it was to have someone talk about you while in front of you. Their smile when they noticed that my face was flushed made me dip for cover under my sheets. "Or maybe it's because we finally got a good long look at her ey?" They laughed and spoke merrily with the day continuing as it were until Twilight finally returned with two more ponies in hand.

"Well? What is this? My oh my! What an adorable little thing!" An elegant voice spoke from a white unicorn with stars in her eyes that strutted up to my side. Her fire was a stunningly pure and beautiful hue of purple and it showed how sincere and passionate she was. She’d placed a careful and calculated hoof onto my arms, then my torso, then on my head in an attempt to scan my measurements. "Twilight, what an absolute gem you've dug up.” The fanciful mare had turned to Twilight and bowed her head curtly. “You know, I never really minded your idea darling. My... ‘strong words’ from before back in our meet came in part from my own envy. You could say I was just a bit beside myself at this little treasure you'd found. If there was anything I was envious of her kin for, it was their lustrous wings and particular style. I couldn't have expected how dazzling she'd be, though. Makes the others look like rabble in comparison."

"Rarity!" A hushed but intense whisper from Twilight followed. The air tensed up with those present in the room. It seemed everyone had been careful to not mention what I was near me. Not that I ever minded it to begin with, but it seemed the adults thought it had been an eggshell topic. Every pony save for one eased up when they noticed that I was not fazed by it at all. That one was a bright pink pony with large poofy hair. She’d stayed in place since she had first entered the room just staring at me with wonder and was rather violently trembling in place.

As if she'd been locked in time and building up a lot of kinetic energy through sheer excitement, her overflowing happiness released all at once and nearly downright tackled me had it not been for her on-a-dime stop near my bedside, her two hooves pressing my cheeks together. "OH. MY. GOSH. What a cutie! A new friend! Please be my friend!" It seemed like her excitement had been building up since she first heard of my existence and was eagerly awaiting this moment, probably further compounded by when she’d first seen me that initial time. Everyone in the room immediately made the effort to pull her off of me.

"Pinkie!" Twilight shouted with no end of frustration in her voice.

"Pinkie Pie, sit down in front of me right this instance! We talked about this. You can't be doing this to others." Rarity's commanding voice immediately sat her down while the others sighed in their relief, though I could still see the shivers of excitement in the flame of her soul despite the ongoing lecture. They were both quite the character. Their antics were incredibly amusing to me at this point, and I couldn't help my voice ring in a fit of an expression I hadn't made before.

What a strange sound it was. Just like the rest of what came from my mouth, it was so quiet, you could hardly hear it in the busyness of the commotion. But in the silence of an awed room where you could hear even a heartbeat, it was deafening. It felt like my fever had returned momentarily when everyone turned to look at me, my whole body burning with embarrassment, such that I could only look down to avoid their gazes. Twilight was particularly weepy at this expression with tears forming in her eyes, again feeling the weight of her stress and worries lift from her shoulders and she smiled the widest smile I'd seen of her yet. She’d made no attempts to brush them off this time. Perhaps it was Twilight's turn to be embarrassed, with most of her close friends shifting their smiles at her. The atmosphere in the room had definitely improved. Up until the point a fifth new pony showed up.

Her fire was a particularly turbid one and it carried with it a lot of pride, to an extent that any other time I would've been scared of its presence under normal circumstances. Her expression did nothing to alleviate the air of distrust and anger that she’d bred. Her brows had creased into a frown while she looked at everyone from a distance. But these were not normal circumstances. I’d finally gotten used to the presence of others besides Twilight. More than that, I was awe-struck at her image. The patterns in her coat were absolutely astonishing. A bright blue hue accompanied by a mane sporting a symphony of colors. What was more inspiring than that, as if not to complicate my feelings on her further, was the pair of strong, graceful wings behind her which allowed her to hover in the air while she scowled at everyone else, particularly at me.

Almost immediately I was taken back to the time when I’d tried and failed in vain so many times to fly with my own wings. I had not seen a Pegasi up until that point, and I hadn't noticed Fluttershy's wings either despite being so close to her. Perhaps because she had little use for her own wings and always kept them close to her body, always beneath her bag's strap and behind her hair. So it had come as such a surprise to see them in their full glory right before me.

"You can all play buddy-buddy if you like, but I know where I stand." Her hoarse, tomboyish voice spoke up. She was definitely crude in her demeanor. Everyone else turned to frown at her all at once, save for me.

"If you were gonna be like this Rainbow Dash, I shouldn't have included you," Twilight retorted, sounding irritated and even angry which only provoked more angry concurrent remarks from everyone, earning them the ire of the rainbow pegasus. It would have been the first time I had heard that inflection in Twilight, and it would've caused me a number of negative thoughts in my head, but at that point, I was deaf and blind to the rest of the world.

I’d felt every pony's attention shift to me when I slowly ascended from my bed. It had been a long while since I'd used my legs effectively, and perhaps because I was still sick I couldn't keep them straight, but regardless, I made the effort to walk up to Rainbow Dash. No one tried to stop me as I approached her. They’d likely been too afraid to reprimand me due to my first panicked reaction to them all and were curious to know why I was trying so hard to meet her upfront. From behind me, I could feel Twilight hold her breath, wanting to say something but not finding the words to do so.

Rainbow Dash descended down to the ground to meet me eye to eye once I’d stopped in front of her, as she somehow thought that I was trying to provoke her in this gesture. She opened her wings in an attempt to intimidate me, but again, that all flew right over my head. Instead, I mimicked her with my own, somehow believing I'd be able to learn to fly by replicating her movements. As she did more elaborate gestures with her wings, I did my best to follow suit. I could see a wrinkle of a smile forming on her face as I followed along. After who knows how long, I finally collapsed on the floor when my legs gave out, still weak from the fever. I was carried back to my bed by Twilight who I could only see such a bright smile on.

“Well, that was fun. She reminds me of when I first met the Wonderbolts.” Rainbow Dash could not help remarking that statement out loud, earning her mischievous grins from the rest, seeing that she was now more willing to cooperate. After a bit of silence, she finally caved. “Argh. Fine. I'm fine with it. With her, I mean.” Rainbow Dash struggled with her emotions, rustling her own hair in frustration and no hint of defiance left in her tone. "Just uhh... call me if you need anything." She flew over to the window instead of the door to make her exit but stopped just short of leaving to turn around to look at Twilight. "And Twilight?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry, alright? I gotta get a better grasp on my outbursts."

Every pony could feel Twilight’s immense relief when she’d gotten floored by it all, collapsing into a sit beside my bedside and laughing merrily at the joy that came after. But none of them could understand her much the way I did, watching her heart light up with happiness at that. How she’d gone from a shattered heart to a mended one in her gratitude, amidst her broken pride.

She smiled again and nodded toward the pegasus. "Of course, Rainbow Dash, I know. Oh, but before you go, I wanted to thank you all for being here for us today." She said as she searched for something over at a corner of her bookcases.

---

It had been a very strange day for me. It's a day I fondly look back on every now and again. For a moment, it had taken my mind off my plight all at once and it had given me many new, wonderful feelings in my heart.

But the forces of destiny, as I'd learned, never stop moving. The future was held hostage by a cruel reality. And for me... well there was no escaping it, no matter what I did.

When Twilight had produced her gift, like some truly awful premonition of the future, I felt time stop altogether in my sheer terror. I felt chains begin to form in my heart again, shackling me to the ground. Every fiber of my being had begun to scream, as they had at the start of this journey of mine.

I wonder what I must've looked like at that moment. Pitiful, strange, perhaps even dangerous? I can't speak for others, so I'll never get to know and they would never have another chance to tell me.

With Twilight's horn lighting up in a mystifying purple glow and the objects before her lifting clean off the ground by an unknown force, reality set in all at once as though it were the end of my world.

It was lady Fate herself, with her hand grasping strongly at my future.

Comments

[origami]

Gonna take a stab at some psychoanalysis

the main character has been abused in the past but has repressed the memories of said abuse, and chooses to blame herself or claim that it's her fate.

Hopefully with time and enough support, she can move past her current mental situation.

[Darkevony]

11341357
I gotta say, I really do appreciate the interaction! Even if it did frustrate me a little that you almost hit the nail on the head with that first guess for ch. 7 before I had even finished up the chapter.

I don't like being read like a book. Tho I do like people reading my book. +1

[Herald of Opera]

11341357
Haven't read the story, but given the way the show portrays Chrysalis I suspect the spoiler isn't even really a spoiler.