• Published 29th Jul 2022
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Princess Twilight Sparkle, The Product of Nepotism - stillwedding



You can have anything if you’re rich.

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Their Favourite Nepotist

Coming from a life of privilege, favouritism, and wonder, it is no surprise that Princess Twilight Sparkle rose to acclaim. Because the simple truth of the matter is, that you can have anything when you are well off with connections-

“This is ridiculous!” Twilight exclaimed, slamming the morning paper on the table after reading the first passage.

Starlight and Spike flinched at the unexpected outburst. It started off like any other morning, the trio was eating Spike’s homemade blueberry pancakes in the grand dining room when the daily paper arrived. Typically Twilight would wordlessly scan the paper before passing it to Starlight. Except for this morning, the daily paper seemed to be an op-ed. An op-ed about a certain local Ponyville Princess. Regardless it was far too early in the morning for someone like Twilight, who wasn’t fond of mornings, to be so enthusiastic over a paper.

Spike suppressed a snicker for the sake of his friend. Taking the paper off from the table he read the first paragraph and frowned, “I don’t know Twilight… their argument seems fair, some ponies interpret your life like that.”

Twilight choked, “Oh please, don’t tell me you agree with what it has to say?”

Spike’s eyes instantly registered that she thought he wasn’t on her side and quickly backtracked before the situation could escalate, “No, no, no! I was just saying how some ponies can believe it without knowing the full story?” He chuckled nervously, picking apart his stack of pancakes to avoid her glare.

All Twilight could do was roll her eyes and let out a groan, “Ugh, the article is walking through my whole life as if they have been here since my birth! ‘As soon as she was born Twilight was surrounded with opportunities. Opportunities other ponies could only dream of… these opportunities were a plentiful commodity. A common commodity her parents could afford with a wave of their name?!’” She read out loud getting increasingly more frustrated with the words on the paper. Her strong grip was threatening to tear the paper apart right then and there.

Starlight grimaced in sympathy until a new thought occurred to her, “I mean, it was true that your parents were well off….” she said letting her words hold their weight.

For a moment she was scared that she overstepped her boundaries. Luckily for her, Twilight just carelessly nodded, “Sure! I will admit that, but they didn’t wave their nobility to get things out of others!” She clarified. She was almost offended that the paper targeted her parents and called them out to paint them out to be like some sort of power-hungry villain you’d see in a Daring Do novel.

Spike and Starlight looked at each other nervously with the same puzzled expression that translated that they thought what the other was thinking, “Didn’t you get into Celestia’s school easily?” He asked.

“Pfft,” she dismissed, “That was because I passed the entrance exam!” Twilight huffed as if the answer was clear and obvious. All of the students admitted had to pass the demanding exam, that was a fact that didn’t diminish anyone’s legitimacy.

Starlight perked up at the name of the wretch school, considering the school held enough bad connotation for her liking, “You went to Princess Celestia’s school for gifted unicorns?”

“Yeah, I did,” Twilight dryly responded.

Starlight chuckled, “Isn’t tuition crazy expensive?” She prompted.

Twilight’s eyes furrowed, “I don’t know, I didn’t look at-”

Starlight threw her hooves in the air dismissively, “You didn’t even have to worry about the price of tuition? I don’t know Twilight, it sounds to me like you…” she trailed off, knowing that Twilight could finish the rest of her sentence. Some things shouldn’t be admitted, especially near the ear slot of a certain fuming Princess.

Twilight sharply exhaled, “Yes, I know, I had good funding. It doesn’t take away the fact I still worked hard. Spike, you were literally there for my school days. Surely you can provide something to back me up?” She smiled.

Spike just chuckled, he was split, “But Twilight, how did you even get approved so quickly? From what I remember from Professors bragging, about the fact only ten percent of applications make it to the exam stage let alone gain entrance to the school,” he asked, honestly curious.

“Do you have so little faith in my magical abilities?” Twilight snapped. I hatched you myself, for Celestia’s sake! Twilight thought, though silent, her rage was having a hard time concealing itself behind the irises of her eyes and her fragile features.

“That’s not what I’m saying… It’s just kinda odd, don’t you think? Early admission too?” Spike urged.

Before Twilight had the chance to even think about the peculiar circumstances of her admission Starlight began moving on to the next passage, “She moved onto the next stage of the vigorous application process easier, while other unicorns had their dreams and aspirations crushed…”

A deafening silence passed through them. Starlight and Spike couldn’t even crack a smile at the accusation, they felt personally attacked.

“Yikes,” was all Spike could summon.

“I- Wha- What?" she stammered, "They can’t seriously blame me for that! I didn’t crush their dreams the admission officers did!” Twilight yelled, her arms outstretched, her bewilderment on full display now.

Spike and Starlight looked at each other slowly, then stared back at their friend blankly, “What?” she asked.

“Remember the bribing scandal of how some student’s families paid to get into some of the universities in Trottingham?” Starlight asked slowly.

“Yes, I do remember that. And might I add the families are on probation,” she countered. Twilight oversaw the case personally, she remembered clearly how frustrating it was to even have the guilty parties admit to their wrongdoings.

“Well, remember how since they got admitted on a bias, they stole the limited spots.” She ended frankly.

“That’s irrelevant, there were no bribes involved with Celestia’s school. This argument is more of an insult to the school if they truly believe the Princess’ very own school would do such a thing!”

“Ahem, the Princess can’t micromanage everyone,” Spike said recalling how the Princess only stopped by the school once a week at most. A lot can slip by. “Also, Twilight the number of snobby students you were in classes with… Prince Blueblood for example,” he said which prompted a shiver from Twilight as she remembered the horrid times some of her classmates asked redundant questions.

Twilight's left eye gave a twitch revealing the slight shift in her composure and approach, “Okay, fine, some slipped past, but that’s only a small percentage and it didn’t vastly change the reputation of the school as the most magically talented!” she said and gave them a smug smile before spawning the latest statistic of the school’s rating that was recorded just a month ago.

Starlight took the time to look over the numbers and finished with a sigh of defeat. The numbers don’t lie, Celestia’s school was still rated first in all of Equestria. As expected.

Spike just rolled his eyes and moved on with the article, “Sparkle gets recruited to be Princess Celestia’s personal protégé, a title that allowed her even more power due to amassing the Princess’ favouritism,” he read, giving Twilight a raise of his eyebrow.

“Don’t deny that you weren’t Princess Celestia’s favourite,” Starlight said bitterly expecting the Princess to attempt to defuse the truth.

“I won’t,” Twilight smirked, “I know I’m Celestia’s favourite,” she said with pride. That was something the article got right at least-

“Princess Celestia’s favouritism to this sole student allowed for free housing, be it a tower, for Sparkle’s endeavours-! you got a whole tower to yourself? How is that fair? I should’ve moved to Canterlot if I knew the local Princess was giving out free towers!” Starlight mustered as best as anyone could while bursting out from laughter at how sheerly preposterous the notion was.

“Starlight! Princess Celestia couldn’t lend the property to anyone else!” She grumbled.

“And why not? I’m sure some homeless pony would appreciate it,” Starlight jabbed before going into a fit of gasping laughs again.

Spike was finding it hard to keep up his collectedness, while Twilight was darting Starlight the most unfriendly glares imaginable for someone called the Princess of Friendship. It only made Starlight laugh louder much to her dismay.

Starlight gathered herself after seeing her friend’s unamused face, picking up the paper again she started to read the next argument, “Winning the Princess’ favour also allowed for a lot more opportunities, not limited to, access to dangerous wings in the castle, access to every spell imaginable, and information that has not been leaked to the public.’ I can’t believe I had to break into the vault to find Star Swirl’s spell and all you had to do was waltz in whenever you liked?” Starlight asked, almost astonished at the perks Twilight received.

Twilight pursed her lips in annoyance “Exactly why I had to earn the privilege, I had to earn the Princess’ trust first before I could even take a glance in Star Swirl’s wing. That part is inaccurate, it wasn’t that easy. They’re writing as if I got it on a silver platter-”

“HAHAHA! Look here! 'Her wings? Bestowed to her by her mentor who loved her from the start regardless if she was a sack of potatoes.' TOO GOOD!” Spiked cried, he was almost falling off his chair.

She dropped her jaw in disbelief, “Spike, you were there! And the whole point of my ascension is developing and expanding the magic of friendship specifically. Why is the topic of my Princesshood on the chopping block too?”

“I know, I know. It’s just… A stack of potatoes?” He asked genuinely perplexed at the comparison.

“Which families could afford to convince an Equestrian Princess to foalsit? Only the most privileged, rivaling the money of a Princess.’ How did you get Cadance to foalsit you? I wouldn’t even do it!” Starlight sarcastically asked with a dry chuckle.

“Starlight!” Twilight shouted.

“Actually, maybe I would if I got paid a large amount of money!” She roared.

“Good one,” Spike said, giving Starlight a fist bump.

Twilight clenched her jaw and bit her tongue slightly before continuing, “It would not be a surprise in the upcoming years that this family will continue to make clever moves in the scheme of gathering even more power and prestige.’ You know that’s not true,” she chuckled at the ludicrous allegation, “This whole paper is utterly incorrect and nothing in it is up for debate!”

“I don’t know Twilight, it seems convincing,” Spike said bringing a claw to tap on his chin as if he was pondering and actually considering the argument.

Twilight shook her head listlessly, “Please don’t tell me you actually believe this- this- absurdity!” she blurted.

“No, of course not Twilight!” He waved his hands to deny everything he said that could make it seem that his loyalty dithered.

Twilight let out a sigh, almost exhausted from all her counterclaims, “Okay, well, I’ll take my leave, I have a meeting with Mayor Mare,” she said simply. She straightened her mane and picked up her untouched breakfast with her telekinesis before leaving the dining room and her traitor friends behind.

Spike peaked around the door, making sure Twilight completely left before turning to Starlight and bursting out in the laughter they suppressed. Days like this are when they were grateful for the press. Although they can be completely off the mark on many topics, they were still entertaining at least.

“Whew, the way she got so defensive, too cute,” Starlight admitted, wiping away a tear.

Not everything was given to me on a silver platter, just most things!” Spike mocked in a higher pitched voice to mimic Twilight’s which garnered another bout of laughter from Starlight.

After recovering the pair took the paper off the ground and placed the newspaper in a drawer where they kept the other amusing op-eds. “Twilight Sparkle was Born an Alicorn,” “The Jewels on Princess Twilight’s Crown Made with the Compressed Tears of the Villains She Defeated!” “Twilight’s History of Horn Enlargement Pills,” read a few. Truthfully they were planning to burn all the papers with a simple spark from Spike’s mouth. But they just kept pilling up, every preposterous article was now stashed away in this drawer. They were just too funny to be burnt. It would be shameful to have such great history be lost in flames.

Some of the papers never reached Twilight’s eyes partially for her own sanity, some things were just best left unread. Though Twilight would heavily disagree with that philosophy, Spike truly believed better unread than a cranky Princess threatening to sue multiple press companies. And besides, reading them unhinged without another opinion to bring them back down was hilarious.

“That’s the fifth one this month! And they keep getting better!” Spike said, flipping through the old papers from this month alone.

“What’s next ‘Princess Twilight Sparkle Exposé, She Hates to Read?’” Starlight snickered.

Spike sighed and grinned, “I love reading op-eds.”

Starlight nodded in agreement and closed the drawer. They loved being friends with a nepotist.