Chapter 5
Too Good To Be True
By NocturneD
Edited by Knotwist
The morning sun rose finally to greet the day, Luna was ready to finally attend to her rest after guarding the night and its blessings. Celestia made her way to the banquet hall to have her routine breakfast while Luna wanted one last thing to snack on before she parts. The elder sister sat in her seat at the head of the table, while Luna sat next to her; never was up for formality, that and there was no need to sit way on the other side. Just to enjoy each others company before they part ways. However Celestia noticed her sister seemed troubled, almost confused, as she stirred her oatmeal around and around with her spoon.
"Does something trouble you my sister?" Celestia asked.
"No sister, just deep in thought." said Luna as she continued to stir her oatmeal.
"You've been stirring that oatmeal for five minutes now." The elder sister pointed out.
The younger sister finally stopped. Lifted her head to face her older sister and stared confused, "Sister, what does the charter say about the limitations on marriage? Has it changed since I was gone?"
"Only a few things changed. Like appropriate ages between the bride and groom to marry. Had to drastically change the terms of marriage between two ponies instead of inanimate objects." Celestia tried to recall, "I don't really remember the charter to well. But why do you ask sister?"
Luna frowned, "What does it say on incest?"
Celestia was dumbfounded, "Why would you ask that?"
"Let's just say... There's a little rumor flying around about two ponies that share the same father that got married about... oh about a few months ago." Luna answered, then went back to her oatmeal.
"Well, incest is a touchy subject but certainly no marriage is permitted by law. Illegal if you might want to know." Celestia looked down at her slice grapefruit, ready to bring her spoon to dig in.
"Alright then my sister." Luna went back to eating her oatmeal, slowly.
"Might I ask? Why you are curious about this subject?" Celestia stopped herself from her grapefruit breakfast. "You mentioned a rumor as well?"
Luna remained quiet.
"Luna..." Celestia narrowed her eyes. "Is it a rumor that has any bases to it? Or is it nothing but hogwash?"
Luna did not answer.
"Luna." Celestia said sternly. "Is it something I should know?
"I don't know sister. I remain questioning it myself as it seems like an immature rumor." Luna replied.
Just then, a rolled up parchment poofed in front of her face. "Never mind Luna. Twilight must have another friendship report for me."
"This early?" Luna asked.
"Maybe she couldn't send it last night." Celestia said aloud, assuring herself.
-Dear Princess Celestia,
This has something to do with Twilight Sparkle learning a paternity spell. She demonstrated how it worked in front of us. It all went well when she tested on us but things ended in a shocking turn once Twilight performed the test on herself and her family. We're sorry we are the ones that have to tell you this or maybe you already know, but Twilight ran the test on Princess Cadenza as a joke and it turned out they are half sisters. We thought it was a joke at first but Twilight tried the test over and over again. With the surprise, Twilight locked herself up in her room and cried the night away. Then we encouraged her to talk with her parents about this matter to get it straightened out, we wished her luck as she departed.
We only ask of you to help and try to calm the situation down. It took time for us to accept the idea but still it troubles us as well. We are pretty sure that incest marriage is illegal but then you would have not performed the marriage yourself if you had known. Please princess, we ask of you to help resolve the issue as maybe you can clear the air and settle Twilight down.
Sincerely,
Spike and friends.
PS. Twilight's friends blabbed this around town.
PSS. Rainbow Dash drank your champagne you gave to Twilight and now she's drunker than a skunk and made a fort out of the books in the library.
Celestia's mouth hung agape. She read over and over again the exact details of what Spike wrote. "The paternity spell?" She asked herself. Truly a spell not for unicorns who are not ready to master expert level spells. "And she's upset about it none the less." The older sister wondered exactly how Twilight got a hold of a manuscript to even learn a complicated spell like that. Tapping her chin to think for a moment, she was going to pay Scroll Keeper a visit after breakfast. After finishing her grapefruit, she asked Luna one last time about the rumor. And yet again Luna just replied that it seemed hogwash but yet still unsure.
The sun princess made her way to the Starswirl the bearded section of the library. Surely she would find some answers. She stopped in front of a large wooden desk with an old stallion; light brown with very little gray hair left.
"Scroll Keeper." Celestia approached the elder stallion.
The old stallion looked up and shook a little due to his age, "Oh hello your majesty." He tried to bow but the years were not too kind for him. "What can I do for you?"
"And a good morning to you too Scroll Keeper." Celestia smiled. "Actually there is something I need to ask of you." The old pony shook more while trying to put on his glasses, "I was wondering if you have given a special magic scroll to my student; Twilight Sparkle."
"Oh... Twinkle Stop Light?" He started to clean his glasses with a handkerchief, "Don't believe I seen her around."
Celestia blinked. "No I was talking about Twilight Sparkle."
"Twittle Spank?" He asked.
"She's purple. Unicorn. Has a pink star for a cutie mark." Celestia described.
"Oh... My eyes and memory are not quite these used to be princess Luna." Scroll Keeper finished cleaning his glasses.
Celestia blinked again. "Well maybe you can help me with something else. Do you know the paternity spell?"
"Oh that old thing?" Scroll Keeper asked. "Matter of fact I was just clearing out a few shelves in the back that had that exact spell scroll on it. I think one of Celestia's students wanted to try and learn it. I told her it might have great consequences if not properly done." Scroll Keeper then remembered, "I told her that she needed clearance from the princess before taking spells out but somehow I think she got the princess's permission to get it. Think it was you princess Luna."
Celestia raised an eyebrow, "Oh thou is happy. Thank you Scroll Keeper. I will be off." Then thought, ‘Think we're going to retire Scroll Keeper after all. Blind as a bat now a days.’
Just then, "Think I'll write my student a letter before things get too out of hand. Then after that, my sister and I are going to have a long talk."
At the Sparkle household hours later...
"Is your mother still mad at me?" Orion asked his daughter.
"Well last night she was growling in her sleep." Twilight commented.
"Good thing she went out this morning." Orion frowned. "She just needs to clear her head and she does take fancy to walking around the park."
"So... how was the couch?" Twilight asked.
Orion frowned. "I'll be honest. I thought this was the couch that rolled out into a bed but it turned out that was the other sofa we got rid of. So don't tell your mother that I ripped the sewing out of place." He patted the couch cushion he was sitting on, "Hope she won't notice."
Twilight looked at her father, concerned, "Dad?"
"Yeah Twinkle?" Her father mumbled.
"Did mom really drive you to cheat on her?" Twilight wanted to know, she had too much respect for her.
Orion sighed, easing himself to slide down further into the couch. "It was a pretty difficult time for us because we were just starting out. Your mother and I decided that one of us was going to stay home and take care of Shining Armor while the other worked." Her father recalled, "Your mom loved her job as she was going to have a promotion at her parent's company. Then things went sour when her brother got the job instead of her, she fell into depression and wanted me to get my promotion so we did not have to worry. But more and more her family was telling her that she was stuck with a dead beat, that she even believed it herself. And... well you know the rest."
"Mom was really counting on your success huh?" Twilight asked, feeling pretty awful for asking.
"I just don't know what went wrong at that point." Orion frowned. "And out of all the ponies for my own son to pick. He picks the one pony that is the daughter of the mare I had an affair with."
"I..." Twilight wanted to say, "I'm sure that we can get this under control if we talk to Shining Armor and Cadance."
"See that's the thing Twilight." Her father looked at her, "Makes you wonder if we even should tell them because you seen how happy they look together?"
Twilight frowned, "Dad... I feel like I want to throw up everytime I see them kissing because of this whole fiasco."
"I admit... It makes me nervous too." Orion took a deep breath. "So, I take it that we are either going to have to go to the crystal kingdom or have them come here. Either way its going to destroy them, more than likely get a divorce, send them down a spiraling depression. Hopefully it won't make them do something drastic."
There was a knock at the door. Twilight got up and answered it to find one of the royal guard ponies was standing there. Only giving her a letter he turned and walked away. Twilight wasted no time opening it.
Dear Twilight Sparkle,
It has come to my attention that there is a family crisis you are experiencing. I would like you and your parents to meet me at the time listed below. Also it has come to my attention that my dear sister Luna has given you access to one of the high ranking medical spells from the Starswirl library and you took time to learn it. As much as I would feel proud, I am very disappointed for not clearing this with me earlier. Whether this has to do with your family crisis or not, please know that I will do anything in my power to help you and your family in your time of need. I would also like to give you a note that your own brother and his wife will be visiting the castle during the scheduled time to help make things easier. I heard they have grand news to tell us all. But also something they want to address.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
Twilight scrunched her face. Bewildered by the state of the letter sent by the princess. "There is no way she knows about this." She looked at her father and explained what the princess was requesting. He put on a determined look, nodded and agreed to take part to help set things right. Hopefully this will not be made into a spectacle. But the last part of the letter had her worried. She could feel it was not going to be pleasant, even if others are happy for the occasion. After lunch, Twilight decided to watch one of her father's monster movie collection, she popped in the FLY. Watched for a bit, then fell asleep.
*Dream*
It would seem like it was a long time but a new life was ready to be born. Only thing was, with the news of the supposed sibling rumor it was forced to be looked as a debunk baseless rumor. Still ponies talked about it and Celestia stood by her decision that the marriage she performed was not of sin. However, news of Cadance's pregnancy was still known, but not for public's eyes to see.
A very heavily pregnant Cadance was lifted off the flying chariot and rushed into the castle's medical ward. She had many doctors surrounding her, plus Shining Armor and Twilight were at her side as she was being pushed on the gurney. She had a very large pink stomach, almost too big. It rumbled and moved, Cadance held her stomach and cried in pain. When they arrived at the operating room Shining and Twilight were told to leave and watch from the observation room. Shining tried to fight it but was pushed back. Soon they were seated in a room above Cadance, looking down at her while she was giving birth. She had the best care, or what looked like it. Her stomach rumbled again as she screamed. Nurses put an oxygen mask over her face and kept her heart rate monitored. Soon both princesses joined the siblings as they watched.
"Something's wrong! I can feel it!" Cadance screamed. "AH!"
"What are you doing? SOME PONY HELP HER!" Shining shouted.
"We are giving her the best we can Shining Armor." Celestia frowned.
"Then why all this then? Why can't she go to a regular hospital?" Twilight protested.
"Because..." Celestia grinned.
"UGH!" Cadance groaned as she held her huge round belly.
"Okay give one more push... And..." The doctor tried to deliver their baby.
"UGH!" Cadance groaned again.
The doctor was not holding a foal but more of a weird cocoon shaped pod. The nurses gasped while the doctor wanted to drop the creature.
Cadance screamed at the sight of her newborn, "AH!" Then her heart failed. The nurses tried to revive her by shocking her with paddles but it did no good.
"Oh dear Celestia..." Twilight's eyes widened. She wanted to throw up.
Shining Armor just put his hoofs to the window. Shocked to know his newborn was a weird creature and his wife gone before his very eyes. He started pounding on the windows again and again, screaming for his love. The doctor placed the cocoon on one of the nearby tables to look over it, to find something inside waiting. It cracked open... to reveal a clutch of baby changelings. They cried letting out their hungry wails.
"Ah... Just as expected. Changelings are the result of incest." Celestia frowned.
"NO! THAT'S MY CHILD!" Shining punched the glass over and over again.
"Its ours now." Luna laughed. "Well breed a new army. But since Cadance is your half sister, we want to see its full potential with your real sister."
"YOU SICK MONSTERS! THAT WAS YOUR NIECE!" Twilight then was embraced in her own teachers grabbing aura. Then was pinned down on a metal table, Luna performed a mind spell on Shining and ordered him to have his way with Twilight. "NO! DON'T DO THIS!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Twilight screamed as her zombie brother inserted himself into her.
*end of dream*
Twilight suddenly woke up. Heaving and covered in sweat. Then raced to the kitchen and threw up in the sink.
"There is no way... No way how any of this is possible." Twilight kept saying that to herself over and over again. "Celestia would not allow this... Please... Please let this all be some weird dream."
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LOL FIRST!!!
NOW NOONE CAN GET IT MUHAHAHAHA!!!
Oh, I get what happened now. Don't worry everybody nothing to see here, just some ponies thinking about incest.
1422228 I'm curious - what was his response?
EDIT: Oh God Chapter 5 is up. OH GOD, that mental-scene.
EDITEDIT: *steals Knotwist's first* :3
1422989 Sorry you can't have the first, but you might have given him an idea for a later chapter. Don't know for sure though.
1423271 :3 I already stole your first. Is my first now. ACCEPT YOUR FATE
1423287 No. NO! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!!!
1423294 Search your feelings, you KNOW it to be TRUE
This just gets wierder and wierder and it makes me laugh.
1423538 It will never be true! NEVER!!!
1424622 Join me, and we will rule FIMFiction together, as father and son... side by side... (Paraphrasing there, not sure if I nailed the quote or not...)
Twilight, you have the weirdest fucking nightmares ever.
1424815 Hee hee hee......
Well that got dark quickly
1425423 it just keeps getting worse
1424675 Hell if I know haven't watched Star Wars in a long time.
1428130 Neither have I 9_6
dammit girls stop imagining these weird scenarios its freaking me out lol
this is the first story in a long while i actually laughed out loud to good work