Chapter 4
Too Good To Be True
By NocturneD
Edited by Knotwist
---
The five friends promised to keep the secret of Twilight Sparkle's discovery locked within their minds. As soon as the purple unicorn left, the friends went off to dine in, to discuss among themselves the strange event. It boggled their minds for awhile as they sat down at their table and were waiting to be served. They saw their friend Twilight panic before, but never to this breaking point where she forcefully threw herself into eyebrow raising rituals. Crying while performing the test over and over again. Locking herself in the bathroom and cry. Cry even taking a cold shower. Some of them felt guilty as they felt that they should have helped her better, but took it upon herself to get the truth out of her father.
"Man that is messed up huh?" Rainbow Dash spoke while reading over her menu.
"Come on Dash, we're here to eat and put this behind us." Applejack almost let her menu slip out of her hoofs as she wanted to scold her friend.
"I know it's just, weird." Dash frowned, Placing her menu down in front of herself. She waved her hoof in circles to make a point, "I mean for example, what if one day we found out that Apple Bloom was really your daughter? How would she live with herself?"
Applejack kept her face straight but her eyes wandered. "Pretty bad analogy Dash, but I get what you're saying."
"I wonder if we should have let her go alone?" Fluttershy asked.
"She was pretty quiet all day before she left on the train." Pinkie smiled, then looked at her menu. "I feel like having a piece of this chocolate cake with gold shavings."
"Pinkie dear we didn't even order our appetizers yet." Rarity frowned, then looked at the picture Pinkie was drooling over. "My that does look exquisite."
The waiter eventually come over to take their orders. After that was done, the waiter left and said he would be back with their beverages. But Applejack had something else to say to the girls.
"Girls, you do know we can't talk about this, right?" Applejack brought up.
"Oh yeah sure." Dash nodded.
"Indeed." Rarity smiled and brushed her curls letting them bounce.
"My lips are sealed." Pinkie actually zipped her lips somehow with an actual zipper.
"That means not even among ourselves out in public." Applejack frowned.
"Can we talk about it now?" Pinkie blinked.
Applejack facehoofed, "No."
"Agreed. We will wait until Twilight is comfortable talking to us about what happened." Rarity smiled.
Just then her drink was placed down in front of her as the waiter started passing them around. "Oh delightful." She took a small sip through her straw, "So anyway, shall we talk about something else?"
"How about we talk about the rumor of Derpy only pretending to be stupid just to get a disability check?" Dash brought up.
"No it's pretty legit Rainbow." Applejack dismissed the claim, "I mean look there she is in front of the television display across the street at Best Buck." The country pony pointed to the grey pegasus doing what she does best. Staring blankly at the new models in the window, of a cat playing with a ball of yarn, with Dr. Whooves and Dinky trying to pull her away.
"Kitty!" Derpy laughed. What she did not know was that it was an anti-poacher documentary and the kitty was really a tiger cub next to its mother. Suddenly poachers came out of nowhere and shot the mother tiger in the face and took the baby cub away. Derpy was screaming, "I'LL SAVE YOU KITTY!" She quickly looked all around to try and find something to use. With luck, she found the metal trash bin. She pulled it from the ground and destroyed the glass display. She ripped the TV from the stand and started shaking it. Quickly security surrounded Derpy, not happy with what she did. All she did, was smile like an innocent filly and drop the TV, breaking it as well.
"Well now that we de-bunked that rumor." Rarity went back to business. "We will talk about this only if we're behind closed doors, we don’t want our sisters finding out and telling their friends."
"Boy howdy." Applejack rolled her eyes as everypony else laughed.
Soon enough they were off on their own errands, and were finding it a bit hard to keep themselves from telling the rest of their friends.
Fluttershy was happily tending to her animal friends and minding her own business. Feeding them and singing a little song. Watering her garden and picking the newly fresh vegetables that came in. Until she came across Angel who wanted food, picky little jerk. Fluttershy as usual, was more slave to this animal than ever. Angel continued being picky until Fluttershy got frustrated. "Oh! I haven't been this frustrated since I promised I wouldn't tel Shining Armor and Mi Amore Cadenza were brother and sister!" Fluttershy grunted trying to clean up one of Angel's messes. Angel just froze with an eyebrow raised.
Fluttershy gasped, "Oh no. I blabbed!"
Angel blinked.
Fluttershy walked back to Angel, "Now Angel. Can you please keep this a secret?"
Angel frowned, still was hungry.
"Okay! Okay." Fluttershy hurried back into the kitchen, "I'll get what you want just please don't tell anypony!"
Angel felt like he was in the mood to blackmail his owner. Knowing Fluttershy, she obeyed. But Angel told all the other animals anyway. A lot of shock rattled the rest of the animals outside the cottage. Then again, Fluttershy only told him to not tell anypony, never said anything about the other animals.
Meanwhile Rarity was getting her usual spa treatment from the twin owners. While filing her hoofs, the twins started to talk about some juicy gossip they just heard about the school teacher. Saying how Big Macintosh just proposed to her the other night and she gladly accepted. Lotus just babbling away while she filed Rarity's front hoofs, Aloe filing the lower ones. Soon the topic changed to Fancy Pants dumping Fleur and leaving her devastated. They talked and talked, Rarity knew where this was going. But she loved hearing the gossip, she had one to share that would blow the lid off everything. But she promised she would not tell. More and more the sisters discussed and spilled, Rarity was getting anxious.
But she could not hold it in. "The royal couple are really siblings!" Rarity immediately covered her mouth. Aloe and Lotus just looked at her.
"Excuse us?" Aloe asked.
"Uh sorry." Rarity tried to smile, "Nothing."
"I could have sworn you said that maybe captain Armor and Mi Amore are siblings?" Lotus went back to filing Rarity's hoofs. "Yes?"
"Oh I uh... Um. Nevermind." Rarity frowned and rolled her eyes trying to mind her own business.
"Oh." Aloe blinked, "Whatever it was sounded interesting."
"Too bad too." Lotus brought up, "Our spots on the VIP are getting full and need one more pony to fill the spot."
"VIP?" Rarity squealed. "You never done VIP before!"
"Yeah." Lotus smiled, "Only our best customers get in. Can set up their schedule any time they want, can walk in and out for convince, get to be first to try our new fur and mane care products."
"How much?" Rarity nearly went crazy. Demanding their price.
"Well its for the elite surely and it costs a pretty bit. Around ten thousand bits a month." Aloe explained.
"Ten thousand a month?" Rarity almost fainted. "What is your hair care products made out of? Gold?"
Aloe and Lotus put on their poker faces.
Rarity sighed, "Guess I am good with just being a regular pony." Then she got an idea, "Would you perhaps take any other form of payment?"
"We stopped doing special favors a long time ago." Aloe chuckled. Soon her sister joined. Rarity let that one slide.
"What if..." Rarity let her eyes wandered, "I tell you the juiciest piece of gossip I know?"
"Um. How juicy?" Lotus asked.
"Yes how juicy?" Aloe asked as well.
"So juicy it might bring the politics in Canterlot and the Crystal Kingdom to a screeching halt." Rarity tried to bait the twins. And it worked, the two were anxious. "Well. You know the royal wedding of Shining Armor and Cadance? Turns out, after my friend Twilight Sparkle doing a DNA test spell. She found out that Cadance was her half sister."
The twins gasped.
"And not only that. Her own father is also Cadance's father." Rarity shared. "Princess Celestia must have not known about the relations and she performed the marriage herself between them." She stopped, "But you two can't share this with any other pony. Please!"
The twins blinked, then looked at each other. The next shot shows Rarity bouncing out happily with a gold VIP card good for a lifetime. She stopped and realized; She just sold out her friend's personal family secret for a lifetime VIP pass to the spa. Rarity sighed. Then brightened up, "Oh well. Says I can bring guests too so, it evens out." But in return, the spa twins would actually share this gossip with their clients.
Meanwhile back up in Cloudsdale. Rainbow Dash had an opportunity to fly with Spitfire; one of the Wonder Bolts as well as a return of an old friend; Gilda. They were casually flying along the skies. Not saying much.
"So uh..." Rainbow Dash tried to make conversation but just came out and said it, "Cadance and Shining Armor are really brother and sister."
"What?" Spitfire turned her head.
"That sounds made up." Gilda chuckled.
"No I'm serious its true." Rainbow kept flying.
Gilda started laughing, "Oh man... Canterlot must really be messed up if they allowed a brother and sister to get married."
"Seriously?" Spitfire asked.
"Yeah. But you can't tell any other pony okay?" Dash demanded.
Gilda spoke up, "Sure Dash. What are friends for?" Little did the others know, Gilda had her fingers crossed. Gilda went and told her Griffon friends while Spitfire told the rest of the Wonder Bolts.
Pinkie Pie as you already know just told Mr. and Mrs Cake who just dismissed the idea. Then she told any pony she passed on the street. Many of the ponies dismissed what she said because well, She's Pinkie, but still they spread the rumor around.
Applejack kept mostly quiet about it, but then told her brother Big Macintosh, she was sure he would not tell but failed to notice Apple Bloom hiding behind a haystack listening in. He kept mostly quiet about it, but then cousin Braeburn came to visit that same day. Mac told Braeburn. Braeburn just laughed it off and called up his family in Appleloosa to say he arrived alright. Then he told his family the rumor. Then they told every pony in Appleloosa, even the buffalo tribe.
Apple Bloom raced off to tell her friends. Then they told two friends. And those two friends told two friends. So pretty from Appleloosa to some parts of Canterlot already knew about the rumor. Just when Apple Bloom was about to tell her friend Peppermint Twist the rumor, Applejack was behind her. Tugged on her tail and dragged her to a good spot to scold her.
"Apple Bloom!" Applejack scolded, "Where did you hear that?"
"From you." Apple Bloom defended herself. "I was behind a haystack while you were talking to Big Mac!"
"Oh horse apples." Apple Jack frowned. "How many pony's know from just you alone?"
Apple Bloom counted the young ponies she told, "About six."
Just then Rarity was tugging Sweetie Belle by her tail giving her the same scolding. Sweetie Belle admitted she heard it from Apple Bloom. Speak of the devil. Rarity came marching up to Applejack. "I thought we said we were going to keep this a secret?"
"Hey... Don't look at me. I just told Big Mac and he keeps his mouth shut all the time." Applejack defended herself.
"Um." Fluttershy was behind them, "I just came from the spa and the twins just told me about the rumor."
Applejack then beamed at Rarity.
"What?" Rarity asked.
The five friends met up again at the tree house. Fighting among each other, failing to keep their friend's personal trouble out of the publics knowledge. Well Pinkie was too busy fighting the ceiling fan but hey its Pinkie Pie. Spike just sitting in the middle of all of this. He could not take it anymore.
"QUIET!" Spike shouted. The girls stopped fighting. "Clearly you five are the worst friends Twilight ever had. Thanks to you everypony from one end of Equestria to the other probably knows by now!" The girls felt guilty. Knowing he was right.
"You're right." Applejack admitted.
"Oh I feel awful." Rarity frowned.
"I'm a terrible friend." Fluttershy lowered her head in shame.
"What?" Rainbow Dash asked and shifted her shoulders.
"Now hold on everypony. Clearly a lot of ponies don't believe this so maybe it won't make threw news. Or catch that much attention."
"You're right. Maybe it won't catch on." Dash frowned, "Next time some pony ask we will say its a bunch of horse crap because we were at the wedding."
Some of the girls were feeling guilty as each their stories were pretty much cemented into most of the ponies in Ponyville as legit with their stories.
"Should we write a letter to the princess?" Dash asked. "You know just in case?"
"We told Twilight we would not interfere." Rarity frowned. The girls just sighed, they were terrible friends. They agreed to not talk about it anymore and let nature take its course. They had one last conversation among themselves.
"What happens if Shining and Cadance stay together even if they are brother and sister?" Dash asked.
"That's up to them. Whatever they chose will be fine with us." Applejack proclaimed.
"Ew." Dash grunted.
"Yes if they want the Sparkle family to look like sick ponies." Rarity scoffed.
"Whatever." Applejack rolled her eyes.
"Remember that rumor going around saying Twilight and her brother are really close?" Pinkie Pie brought up.
"No." The others said.
"Yah. Shining Armor should divorce Cadance and marry Twilight!" Pinkie clapped her hooves together.
The others just blinked.
"Did not quite think that one through did you Pinkie?" Spike raised an eyebrow.
"Pinkie. That just makes it even worse!" Dash yelled. Then she couldn't get the visual image out of her head.
(fantasy)
Shining Armor was sitting on a leather couch. His arms out supporting his wife; Cadance in one foreleg. His sister; Twilight in the other. They were rubbing their hoofs up and down his chest tenderly. Cooing and moaning while Seventies psychedelic music playing in the background.
"Oh Shining Armor. You're the sexist brother on the planet." Cadance rubbed her hoof on Shining's chin.
"Yes. A fine big brother best friend forever... But let's test that." Twilight gently pulled Shining's face towards hers. "Shall we?"
"I love spending time with my sister." Shining smirked. "Oops. I mean sisters." Cadance and Twilight laughed and were amused.
Just then the front door opened then closed. Twilight Velvet walked into the room looking at her so. Feeling up his sister and maybe half-sister.
"Ugh... Do you not have any control?" Velvet asked her son.
"Chill mom. What's eating you?" Shining grinned.
"You know I hate it..." She then put on a seductive smile. "When you start without me. I want to be part of your sexy circle."
"Sure babe. Always room for one more." Shining encouraged his mother. Quickly she felt frisky and slithered her way into her son's lap. Throwing her arms around his neck.
"Ugh. Your father is so boring. All he wants to do is talk..." Velvet frowned. She looked up at her son, "I need a real stallion." Slowly she inched her face towards his, closer and closer waiting for their lips to meet.
(end fantasy)
"AH!" Rainbow screeched out loud. Her friends stared at her in shock. Quickly she tried to calm down. She went into the kitchen and started going through the cupboards. "SPIKE!"
"Yeah?" Spike asked.
"Where does Twilight keep the hard stuff? I need to drown a bad thought before it burns an image in my brain!" Rainbow hollered.
"Top cupboard above the fridge!" Spike pointed out.
"Maybe writing a letter to the princess would not be a bad idea after all." Rarity pondered.
"Like I said let Twilight figure this out." Applejack frowned.
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24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7u4vqiGKx1raopxuo2_500.jpg
A couple spelling and grammar issues that could use some ironing out, but fun nonetheless.
(And Dashie's fantasy just made the whole chapter. Great stuff!)
...Waaaait.....
D: Noo....
That's .... that's the Liarjack face D: That means.... That means...!!!
...
Rainbow. Pass me the hard stuff. D: *chugchugchug*
That fantasy
....... GAH! The images!
Get them out of my head! Ew ew ew ew ew ew!
I have been scarred for life
*shudders*
That was terrifying!
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/135/710/130660655896.jpg
Yeah, You said it Pinkie; you said it.
1397380 HOLY SHIT I DIDN'T NOTICE THAT?! FUCK I'M STUPID!
1399704 *passes you the booze* :|
The imagine spots. Oh Celestia.
I like these. Another!
1399704 So I guess it's implied that, yes, AJ and Big Mac ARE Applebloom's Mommy and Daddy.
...
I love it when stories throw that particular mindscrew in there.
1420875
True but I edited it and I didn't see that. Now I feel stupid.
1421375 I am jealous of editor - you get new chapters of Too Good to be True before the rest of us *sad face!*
1421389 I treat it more like work when actually editing though. Only when I'm done do I read it like everyone else, which is also when it gets uploaded here.
1421723 I couldn't do that. I'd insist on 'pre-reading' before my editing.
1421887 Worked well for me so far though, maybe not chapter 3, but it's how I work.
1421903 Oh God. OH GOD. I've just had a MONSTROUS idea that would make this story more awkward.
...
OK, picture this: All of these horrifying-yet-silly mental imaginings.
...
Now imagine Twilight screws up a spell somehow... and everypony gets to see these mental imaginings. IE: Twilight Velvet gets to see fantasy Rainbow Dash tried to drown with booze in chapter 4!
1421933 That Is EPIC!!!
1421977 Mwahahahahaa. :3 Pass it on to Author, if he doesn't see it here. XD Who knows, it might give him ideas...
1422060 Will do.
1422151 W00t! I'm being useful~!
1422168 I have told the author.
Seriously I thought they would learn there damn lesson the last time there broke twilights trust. if she forgives them as easly as last time like the wedding I mite just find a way to go there and beet the lesson into them my self.