Too Good To Be True

by NocturneD85

Chapter 3

Too Good To Be True-

By NocturneD

Edited by Knotwist

Warning: Contains some language

ooo

Pickle juice spread across the tiled kitchen floor. Touching the white mare's hooves as she remained frozen from the shock. The shock of hearing that her happy marriage has hit a snag hidden from her for so long. Not only that, her husband had an affair with her daughter in law's mother. Making it even worse, her son married her of all the ponies in Equestria. Why? Why? Her eyes bulged and twitched, and her horn buzzed with an electrical current like she was going to have a nuclear meltdown.

Her hoofs slammed onto the countertop, teeth grinding. She turned fiercely to her husband with her mouth covered. "No." She shook her head. "Tell me this is just a joke." Her horn was glowing brighter and brighter.

Orion hung his head in shame and did not even make an effort to explain. His daughter said it truthfully to her mother. She just kept telling herself it had to be a joke. "No. No." She kept shaking her head in disbelief as if nothing was wrong. "Whatever you two made up is sick, stupid, and immature." Slowly she growled at Twilight, "I don't know what brought this on but it has to stop. Let your brother be happy with his wife."

Orion kept quiet. His head still hung low in shame.

"Mom... This has everything to do with me and Shining Armor, even dad and you." Twilight managed to stand up, not taking any more guff. "I learned a new spell that acts like a DNA test and I tried it with my friends and their family. Then us, just watch." Twilight wasted no time showing off her spell and explaining how it works.

With that, Velvet's mouth was open a just walked out of the kitchen and into the family room. Straight to the liquor cabinet she went and poured herself a gin and tonic with extra ice. Twirling her glass for a bit then gulped half of it down. Slamming it down, causing the ice to jingle inside.

"TWILIGHT!" Her mother heaved, her anger infused with her magic managed to put a huge dent in the wall as she screamed.

Twilight practically brought this onto herself, but she was scared. "Yes?"

"Are you sure it's accurate?" Velvet heaved again, almost to her breaking point. "One hundred percent?"

Twilight tried to think back, "Well... Yes. One hundred percent accurate , I spent weeks learning it."

"Then maybe you messed it up." Velvet held her head low. Ready to burst into tears, still her magic was getting the better of her.

Twilight wanted to say she did, she wanted to believe she did, but it was the truth. "It's accurate, mom."

Velvet threw her forehooves up into the air in disbelief. By this point Orion stood up, seeing the shit fit his wife was having. Quickly the older mare shot daggers at her husband, somepony who she shared her life with for better or for worse. "You piece of shit." She said, the words were dripping with venom. Orion slowly walking up to her, hoping to ease the situation down.

"Come on honey. I know this is sudden but..." He tried to say.

"YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" Velvet threw the glass at her husband's hooves. "HOW COULD YOU CHEAT ON ME?!" Her teeth clenched as items around the kitchen started to shake, almost like there was a mini earthquake going on.

"CELESTIA JEEZ!" Orion dodged the glass thrown at him as well as some of the wedding China they received hanging from top shelf almost falling on him. He caught most of the plates with his magic while trying to keep his attention to his wife. "Honey it was a long time ago!"

"I DON'T CARE IF WAS A LONG TIME AGO OR JUST FIVE MINUTES AGO! WHY!?" Velvet demanded, forceful tears slid from her angry eyes and down her cheeks.

“Mom calm down before you make the house sink into the ground!” Twilight tries to regain her balance as the floor started to shake because of her mother’s rage.

"Because... You kept telling me I was worthless! Your parents said I was no good!" Orion gritted his teeth, "Just because I did not get the head teaching job and tenure!"

"OH BULL!" Velvet hollered. Windows shattered from her voice alone.

"NO IT'S TRUE!" Orion hollered back. "You said specifically once I got the promotion then we would not have to worry about money. I come home that very day, you holding Shining Armor. I told you that I did not get the promotion. AND YOU FREAKED!"

"I FREAKED BECAUSE I HAD TO LEAVE MY JOB TO RAISE MY SON!" Velvet screamed. "WE HAD LESS THAN WHAT WE WERE MAKING TOGETHER WHEN I LEFT! I WAS COUNTING ON YOU!" Soon the refrigerator turned over on its side from the force.

"I don't know what went wrong OKAY?" Orion shouted back. "I still don't know why!" He shook his head, "I don't know why! I had it in the bag!"

"Did the bag have a hole in it?" Velvet yelled. Cracks started to run down the walls.

"There you go again. Just like back then you undermined me again. That's one of the reasons I can't stand about you!" Orion countered. "You let your parents put words in your head and you just repeat them to me! You know what. I'm glad your dad has flatulence problems! Maybe your mom will follow!"

Velvet gasped. Ready to shout more. The cracks in the wall started to widen, but Twilight intervened. "STOP IT YOU TWO!"

Both parents held off of their triggers. For once to listen to what their daughter had to say, the mini quake stopped.

"The real problem is Shining Armor and Cadenza!" Twilight shouted. "Now yes dad you should not have cheated on mom, so hope you like living with the guilt! Mom you should not have forced dad in the arms of princess Venus with not being happy with his accomplishments because grandma and grandpa said so! You agreed to stay home, live with it!"

Her parents looked away from each other. Not wanting to see each other, disgusted with each other.

"Now what do we plan on doing?" Twilight asked.

Nothing...Just pure nothing out the two...

"Mom... Dad?" Twilight asked again.

"I don't know." Velvet fumed.

"What do you mean you don't know?" Twilight scoffed, "Your son married his half sister for Celestia sakes!"

"Even if we did do something how can we make it look like nothing major?" Orion asked, still not looking at his wife. "Seriously Twilight the news would be all over it."

Velvet scoffed, "Oh yes it would make us look like hicks. What's worse is that princess Celestia performed the marriage herself!" Her hoof tapped the floor, "You would think they would look into this! Or better yet, Princess Venus herself would have wanted to meet us. I don't think she showed up at the wedding either."

"Actually... yeah that does not make sense." Twilight pondered. "I never met her before. Only heard about her from princess Celestia and then dad."

"She lives in the Crystal Kingdom last time I heard." Orion crossed his arms and still kept looking away. "So there's a good chance she is still there while those two are ruling."

"And what do you propose we do? Go to another kingdom just to break up a marriage?" Velvet growled. "What are the ponies going to think when we drop a big bomb like that?"

"Shock. Denial. Outrage." Orion simply put it. "Then there will be ponies will want immediate action. Then there are the others like those pro-incest groups out there. Some ponies might take great offense and might want to tear those two apart for wasting Equestrian tax bits on a wedding only for them to go rule the Crystal kingdom." Orion finally turned around to face his daughter. "Regardless, not only will it look bad on us. It's going to make Princess Celestia look bad, hell the whole hierarchy will fault on this."

"Oh no." Twilight panicked. The thought of ponies ravaging the streets because of a stupid and awkward mistake that could have been avoided. Celestia being put in barracks and tomatoes thrown at ponies of the crystal kingdom storming the gates to overthrow Shining Armor and Cadance. Make them go into exile forcing them to take shelter inside of a cave or worse, a swamp. Then they would set up a little crappy wooden shack where they would raise mentally challenged alicorn children and the cycle would keep going, one name she was sure they would they would come up with is Dim Light because they were not too bright. She wondered even if a trailer park would take them. Even worse, what happens if it causes Shining Armor and Cadance to fight among themselves? A more embarrassing thought of their trailer ends up on the show CLOPS.

She imagined Shining Armor wearing a wife beater and smokes a lot while Cadance gains four hundred pounds and has hair curlers in her hair all the time. Their furniture is two lawn chairs, a hammock for a bed and their wedding carriage has no wheels and is parked on cement blocks. Matter of fact, their trailer has no wheels and held up by cement blocks too. Every time Shining and Cadance make rough love, it knocks the cement blocks out of place so Shining has to put them back the next morning and if he doesn't the trailer would be lopsided. Hell everything they own is on cement blocks, their TV, their collection of TV guides, their couch, baby's crib, the mini fridge, Cadance’s fat flank even had a cement block or two under her.

The two would be fighting in front of their eleven kids because Shining Armor spent all their food stamps on booze again. Cadance being so fat now, has to shop at Pony-Mart and ride an electric scooter getting in every pony's way blocking isles. Their children would always eat cans of generic Spegettios because that's all they could afford. Then the cans are thrown all over the floor beside the beer cans Shining left. The two start would start fighting then hitting each other. Then child services comes and takes the kids away. Then Twilight sits in her library with eleven alicorns running around and lighting fire to her books. Some of the kids steal the books and try to sell them for drugs because of Shining and Cadance's terrible parenting skills.

"NO! Mom! Dad! We got to do something!" Twilight hollered. "I don't want to be a legal guardian of eleven inbred alicorn children!"

"Well. There's only one thing to do." Orion said. "We're going to have to arrange a meeting with your brother and Cadance. Tell them the news and show them the proof, but we're going to have to keep it quiet in between the five of us." He said sternly. "And whatever happens between those two, remember, we will accept whatever they chose."

"Because I still love your brother, and will respect his choice." Velvet sighed. "I also want to keep this quiet as much as possible."

Twilight sighed... "Fine... Whatever they choose, I won't meddle anymore."

"Alright..." Orion nodded.

"Okay... but you're sleeping on the couch." Velvet grunted.

Orion just sighs, he knew he could not win as he walked into the next room to cool himself off. Twilight just sat on the couch, her mother still fuming at the huge lie her life has been as her daughter tries to comfort her. A low growl escaped her snout sounding like it came from a huge monster like Godzilla. Twilight was being haunted by the thought of Shining Armor crying while the cold water runs in the shower. Even worse, with this news, she wonders how much it could ruin her brother. Let alone the whole country? Hell she practically put a huge dent in her parent's marriage. Something she should have thought out better, but now, she's on a mission...

Comments

[cloudranger]

Like Discord said: "When all the truth does is make your heart ache, sometimes a lie is easier to take." Awesome story author. Just one q though, why the random tag? The premise is a bit like that I guess but will it be SOL or just sad and random. Cheers.

[The Libertarian Brony]

Well............ That fan is nicely shit covered.....

[NocturneD85]

1316686 I'll be honest. This story started off being something serious and sad but then it got a bit ridiculous as it went on such as Twilight's imagination getting all out of whack where it started to feel like a different story.

[me4]

Well, the forecast from the previous chapter seems to be correct.

[fireflutterpony]

That's some glorious PanickyTwilight you got there.

[Wingblaze]

Y'know, it'd be easier for Twilight to have not said anything at all...
gameinformer.com/cfs-file.ashx/__key/CommunityServer-Components-UserFiles/00-00-55-19-52-Attached+Files/4572.tumblr_5F00_lrocgkLILx1qfgjtno1_5F00_500.gif

...just saying. It ain't lying if you never said anything.

[Jphyper]

Hmm... Chapter 3 doesn't look like it's been proofread yet. I see a lot of errors. You seem to have trouble determining where one sentence is supposed to end and the next is supposed to begin. This chapter also has difficulty keeping the tenses (past, present, future) consistent.

In chapter 2, which has clearly been proofread, I still see some minor punctuation erros, such as missing commas, commas where semicolons need to be, commas where colons need to be... that sort of thing. However, that doesn't really matter. It's just my obsessive compulsiveness being nitpicky.

[Knotwist]

1319524
Just so you know my editing skills compared to most are this
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mavie9qBmm1rthf2xo1_500.gif
Yeah, plus I was wake too long.

[Lazygamer313]

Hmmm, looks like it has potential for a story. I see that you take a break from sad-mood with some comedy, such as Twilight thinking about Shining Armor and Cadence. Which is nice but hope it doesn't break the overall mood you want to established in the story.

[RaptorCalloftheShadows]

I uh... I couldn't help but notice.... uh.... status says .... on hiatus? *sad face!*

EDIT: Oh, also... Orion, that was the wrong answer. The only right answer is something along the lines of 'I was a damned shortsighted fool, and it will never happen again, I swear to Celestia"

[FallBlau]

Omg! Twilight's worst-case scenario had me in stitches! XD

Brilliant and funny as always, my friend. ^^