Previous Chapters Next
Close
The Prologue2,841 words
The Day of Our Arrival, Part 13,990 words
The Day of Our Arrival, Part 24,496 words
The Day we Caught the Train2,982 words
Let us Ride to Canterlot2,286 words
The Waiting Room5,226 words
Equestria's Freudian2,843 words
The Registration Office4,832 words

Equestria's Freudian

This room was rather different from the 'waiting room'. It was softly illuminated in blue light, though I could not determine the source of the light, which here could mean anything from the will of the Princesses to hidden hurricane lamps made with blue glass. Princess Luna was sat on a cushion in one of the corners browsing over some papers, to whom I performed the type of salute you see in adaptations of works set in Ancient Rome. A dais was off to one side and was the part most predominantly illuminated. In the gloom on the opposite side from where I entered there was the suggestion of another door.

"Please step up onto the dais." Celestia advised. I did so with a sense of reverence. Once I was on top the view around the room made me think that it was akin to a stage, hence I blushed with embarrassment and so thumped my chest and saluted both the Princesses. "And please don't prolong those things." I twisted my hand round to a naval salute and returned it to my side. "Now, if you would just remove your clothes." I was paralyzed by this. On the one hand Princess Celestia had given me a clear instruction that I was reluctant to disobey but, on the other hand, I'd be performing indecent exposure to the divine sovereigns of Equestria!

"Incompatible Instruction." I said robotically. Celestia giggled a bit.

"I know humans are concerned about showing their body parts," She told me, "But we must have a full medical exam, and we did see your father and grandfather."

"Beg pardon, Princess." I answered. "But wouldn't that violate one of the laws of Equestria?"

"The only standing law on that front," Princess Luna explained, "Is statuary law 43: No Equestrian citizen shall display their genitalia in a public space. Since you're not actually a citizen of Equestria as of yet and are actually in one of our medical exam halls, this law does not apply." I took a deep breath and replied.

"Very well." I began to hum the tune of The Stripper and slowly took my coat off, followed by my shoes, my trousers, my socks, my shirt and finally my undies. "You asked for it and you got it."

"And a double-helping by the looks of it." Celestia teased. "That's what I call uninhibited." I did wonder how they'd react to seeing the amount of flab on me. "Okay, try and keep still while I perform a scan." I stood to attention and felt a strange tingling float all over me; as this continued and varied in intensity I started to contemplate the full power of the Princesses, which led to a most embarrassing situation. "Hmm, well at least we won't have to worry too much about that." Celestia chuckled once she was done. "Neither your father or your grandfather could get it up in spite of our coaxing." My eyebrows shot up as horrifying implications flooded through my mind. "We tried so many words to activate their pituitary glands but nothing came through." This provided some reassurance although there was still a suggestion of how much they wanted to gather. "Now, if we could see it fully erect."

"Princess, my sense of social inhibitions strain against the ease with which I develop arousal." I pointed out, feeling most embarrassed by the whole affair.

"Well, I'm sure we can work something out." She answered.

"I shall just perform the psychoanalysis." Said Luna. Now I felt a strange buzzing round my head, it was curious that I couldn't perceive any kind of magical glow around the horn of anypony performing magic when they were clearly doing so. "Okay, your superego holds a strong feeling of justice and holds to the concepts of honour and tradition but, from what I can perceive, can only hold out when supported by external stimulation." The buzzing continued after this for a while. "Your ego is bubbling over with mixed feelings of guilt, annoyance, sorrow and passion; I can determine your greatest drives from this. You're imperialist, hierarchal, but also liberal, socialist, conservative... feminist?!? These contradictions require me to delve deeper." Now I felt giddy and Luna looked like she'd gone into a coma; concerned I looked at Celestia who just smiled reassuringly. After a couple of minutes Luna seemed to recover. "Your subego seems to be dominated by a sexual attraction to that which is powerful, in particular you're aroused most of all by anything you consider charismatic on a scale that would make you seem like a mere bug."

"Whoo, you're right there ma'am." I replied. "Sometimes it goes overboard and the narrative aspects take a backseat."

"What I find most curious is that it can develop into a potent stimulation stemming from the concept of being swallowed whole." Luna continued. "Your id, however, is heavy with frustration and straining against a multitude of higher mind-sets, especially regarding your rationalisations. Fortunately I can now determine why you've got such a passion for anything powerful."

"If I might make a guess?" I requested, prompting the two of them to nod. "Is it due to a subconscious craving for such power?"

"Not quite." Luna told me. "The truth is you're frightened of responsibility, commitment and risk. You wish for a figure in your life who's so powerful that nothing but they can pose a real threat. In my studies it's become known as the 'Kaijuu complex'."

"'Kaijuu'," I identified, "The Japanese for 'monster'."

"In this case it's Zebrican for 'giant'." Luna informed me. "It's so-called because the one who has it wishes to be, for want of a better word, a pet. However you also have a multitude of interests that both support and mitigate this sensation."

"In that case it can't be too hard to maximise your arousal." Celestia remarked.

"Though it'll leave me with difficulty to focus on anything until it peaks, and it doesn't usually peak unless I'm lying on a bed."

"Well, let's get started. I'm sure we can sort this out." She cleared her throat, I felt my self-control slip a little. "Picture anyone you want." I closed my eyes and imagined the both of them. "Now, see them as though you were no bigger than an ant." That was easy, I pictured myself cornered between their building-sized hoofs. Without prompting I started imagining them teasing me with their hooves and their muzzles coming so close as to effortlessly lick me off the ground. However Celestia managed to mobilise the whole system so I was now in the middle of Ponyville with the two of them large enough to take the whole town in one bite. I saw Luna scoop the library up in one lick and Celestia snatch both Carousel Boutique and Sugarcube Corner up with her teeth. Slowly they licked and nibbled their way towards me, now and again one of their mighty hooves came crashing down with the force of a Richter 6 earthquake. Never before could I perceive such a fantasy so clearly. Just as the two of them raced their tongues towards me... it happened.

My eyes flickered open and I gasped. A test tube floated by with some white liquid inside it. I realised with horror that I really orgasmed in front of the Princesses of Equestria and past experience told me something else.

"Is there anywhere I could dry myself?" I asked meekly. A box of tissues and a bin floated over to me. While I was dealing with that little mishap I noticed something that had happened before. "Um, is there anywhere I can be relieved?" The Princesses gave me a confused look.

"Are you not relieved from your fantasy trip?" Luna asked.

"Uh, not that sort of relieve, Princess." I pointed out. "I've got a need to use the ablutions."

"Oh, that's all right then!" Celestia declared as she floated another test tube over. It was difficult as there was no screen to go behind so I had to turn round and it still required a fair bit of coaxing to fill it up. After that Princess Celestia promptly scrutinised the test tubes, including taking a whiff from each. "Not perfect," She observed after sniffing the urine sample, "But still within healthy parameters." As she checked over the other sample she took a sip, prompting me to gag at the sight. Quickly a bag floated over to me. After a couple of minutes the feeling of queasiness eased and I put the bag down.

"You may reclothe yourself now, if you wish." Luna announced, prompting me to turn round and do so in a more methodical manner compared to how I disrobed. Once my pants and socks were on I just started slipping my shirt on when I noticed that Luna was checking over what I had in my pockets. "Is this a 'mobile phone'?" She asked.

"Yes, ma'am." I answered. To which Luna sighed.

"Less of the 'ma'm', you can just call us 'Celestia' and 'Luna' when there's no-one else around. It's just curious how this differs from the one your mother showed us."

"Hers is a flip-phone," I replied, "This one's a slide-phone." To which Luna now opened it.

"I still fail to see much use in these things." She said. "Bearing in mind that you need a wireless signal."

"My dear Luna," I answered, "They're more than phones; though we can neither make or receive calls or text messages. They can be used as alarm clocks, organisers or file-o-faxes, calendars and even calculators." There was a pause.

"So they're also diaries and abacuses?" Luna checked, to which I nodded as I buttoned up my shirt. "And what of these keys?"

"One's to the back door of my home, the other's to the front door." I informed her.

"And these other things?" She asked.

"One's a torch but it doesn't work, the other's just a decorative item that also provides the role of a counterweight so they're less likely to be lost." I now put my trousers on as Luna perused my pen.

"Hmm, a cartridge-fuelled ball-bearing-tipped pen." She identified. "Rather unusual."

"Actually you'd find that they go like hotcakes." Celestia remarked. "At this rate they'll be going for four bits apiece next year rather than the current rate."

"So they're just taking off round here, then." I gathered. "They're the most common option where I come from. By-the-by, how much are they currently going for?"

"Ten bits each." Celestia answered. "Of course, Twilight's always gone for pencils and quills; rather ironic if you ask me, considering how much writing she does."

"And fountain pens?" I chanced.

"Standard equipment in offices around Equestria." She replied. "Nevertheless a number of officials tend to opt for quills instead." By now I was sitting upon the steps of the dais to put my shoes on as Luna set my hankie, keys, mobile, notepad and pen down by my side. Once I had pocketed my keys, hankie and mobile Luna continued with her enquiries.

"What are these cards?" She asked as she levitated them out of their holdings.

"Two are bank cards, which are used to withdraw money from my accounts and also pay for things when I have no money on me as long as the right kind of electronic reader's available." I recited. "There's my library card, which also entitles me to use a computer in a public library for up to two hours without charge. Then there's my bus ticket, which uses a pay-as-you-go system that allows me to pay for up to ten single trips in one lump sum at a discount. And there's my National Trust membership card, which grants me free entry to any National Trust property for a reasonable annual fee. Also there's the card that has my National Insurance number on it, which ensures I can gain employment within my home country and claim the state pension upon reaching retirement age, my Asperger's Syndrome information card. My loyalty cards, which means that after I've made so many purchases at a particular chain of shops I can get a discount depending on how much I've spent before, and the card I use for topping up the credits on my mobile phone as a pay-as-you-go system."

"What's this one for?" Luna presented a slightly pinkish card.

"That's another kind of loyalty card." I told her. "Once I've acquired enough stamps I'd get a free drink."

"I do believe that a number of these are now surplus to requirements." Celestia pointed out. "For the time being we shall retain these except for the card outlining the basics of your condition and the one with the 'National Insurance code' on it." Luna returned the two mentioned to my main wallet.

"In that case you are at liberty to retain my secondary wallet," I informed them, "Since I only got it to carry the extra cards." They nodded and Luna now checked over the coins in my wallet.

"We've decided to keep human currency for the current time." She remarked. "However we're keeping a record of all that every one of you has for future reference." With that my primary wallet was returned in a state that was equivalent to broke. Once I had put my coat on my bank statement was returned.

"We'll tackle your financial situation further later on." Celestia informed me. "Now we come to the critical phase. How did you come by information about Equestria?" The time was now. I took a deep breath and, once again, sat upon the steps of the dais.

"The fact that we're here in your realm strongly indicates that parallel universes really do exist." I pointed out. "This means that there's a universe where fact is what is pure speculation in another. Now, this would suggest that somewhere the stories of Daring Do are historical fact. Correct?" It was quite a sight to see Celestia looking gobsmacked.

"Are you saying..." She checked, "That where you come from Equestria is fiction?!?"

"In a word." I acknowledged. "However the way I see it is that the inspiration for a work of fiction could stem from a quantum connection with a universe where it's real, but then the inspiration for a work of fiction could also spark a new universe into existence as well." Celestia's look of shock now seemed to soften into a rather wily look.

"So everything that's thought," She said, "No matter how far-fetched, is bound to exist somewhere." I gave a nod that wasn't full-on agreement but accepted the theory.

"I'm concerned as to what could lead to things passing between realities." Luna pointed out. "It could be that a sapient creature could suddenly wake up one day in a world that's much more hostile that its homeland."

"So we must make thorough investigations into how and why humanity's entering our world when neither party appears to be aware of what's going on." Celestia replied. "Thank you, Mr Slater. We'll speak further on this matter to see what information managed to get through. You've been most cooperative."

"The honour is all mine." I returned with a slight bow.

"Please move on to the next room," She continued, "We'll catch up in a few." I immediately turned with a quick thump of my chest and walked up to the other door.

493 views