Divided on Earth, United with Ponies

by Hereward

The Prologue

We were just having our dinner, or should I say I had just finished mine while mum and dad were still at theirs. It was a splash of normalcy in an otherwise dreadfully unbalanced week. Wednesday had quite a sensation and a turmoil of emotions within the family when my granddad's house had mysteriously vanished during the night previous; oddly enough the gardens and fencing had remained while the driveway, garage, greenhouse, patio, garden path and shed had vanished with it, especially when the car was still there sitting in a copse that had substituted the residence. The six o'clock news was just about to start when the phone rang. Mum groaned and dad moved to get up but I practically leapt up and beat him to it.

"Hello." I said.

"Oh, 'ello ma darlin'." An all-too-familiar voice replied; I was stunned.

"Just a moment please." I squeaked, taking the receiver away and putting my hand over the mouth piece. "Could someone pinch me?" I turned to my parents.

"What?" Mum returned.

"I'm having trouble believing this phonecall, but the voice..." She put her plate down and came over to do so. I cringed in response and bared my teeth. "Okay." I went back to the phone. "Sorry, but is it really you, granddad?" Both of my parents now stared at me as the call continued.

"Sure is." He answered. "I certainly had a shock when I opened me cur'ains Wednesday mornin'. The whole scenery had changed, it's like a cartoon countryside out there."

"Granddad," I asked as deja vu bubbled up from within, "Have you ended up in some other dimension?"

"Well, I guess it's sommin' like 'at." He replied. "I've 'ad to do a bit of learnin' round here. The whole world is populated by talkin' ponies." My eyes bulged out and goosebumps crept all over my back. "Before you question it one of 'em's 'ere righ' now if you'd like a word."

"Are you sure?" I asked. "Would it really want to talk with me?"

"Oh, yeah." He affirmed. "She's been asking a lot about humans and my family. She kinda reminds me o' you." I could feel where this was going, it began with an E.

"Okay." I took a deep breath. "Put'er on." There was a pause and I heard some distant mutterings through the earpiece, one was clearly female and seemed slightly familiar.

"Hello." The female's voice came on the phone. "Are you really Mr Slater's grandson?" My heart leapt to my throat as I recognised just who was speaking.

"Yep." I answered. "I'm the youngest of'em. Would you happen to be... a unicorn?"

"How did you guess?!?" There was excitement in her voice. "I'm Twilight Sparkle, the local librarian and I study under our Princess of the day." I bit my lip as I struggled to contain my excitement. Twilight Sparkle was on our phone!

"That's quite a coincidence." I just managed to get out. "I do some part-time work in a college library myself."

"Wow!" She answered. "Are you keen on organisation?" I paused as I wondered exactly how to answer this; I was fairly organised but certainly not to the extent she was.

"Well, I'm somewhat organised. It depends on what it is and if I'm in the mood."

"Are humans typically a moody bunch?"

"Oooh." I really struggled here. "We're multifaceted. Some of us are more emotional than others." There was a pause. "I'm finding it difficult to believe that we're using a telephone when we're not even in the same universe."

"Yeah," She giggled, "I've been trying to wrap my head round how it all works. One day everything was perfectly normal and the next a house appeared out of nowhere occupied by a primate the likes of which nopony's ever seen before." Another pause. "I had so much to ask you and talk about but now I can't think of anything to say." I could almost feel her blushing.

"The feeling's mutual, Miss Sparkle." I commented dryly.

"Anyway I think your granddad wants to say something else, so I'll just say goodbye for now. Hopefully we'll get to talk some more some other time." The implications were enormous but I just made a polite farewell to her and waited.

"You still there, darlin'?" Granddad asked.

"Yeah." I breathed out, once again the craziness had subsided.

"Can yer put David on?" He asked.

"Yeah, just hang on for a bi' please." I moved the receiver away and put my hand over it again. "Dad, granddad want t'speak to yer." He shared a look of disbelief with mum before putting down his Chinese and retrieving the receiver.

"H...hello dad." He started. "What? Yeah. Oookayyy. You sure? Right." I sat back down, wondering if the disbelief would leave the chow mein untouched. "How are y'coping with all that? Okay." I felt a strong urge bubbling up as everything began to settle in, I crossed and uncrossed my legs, I bit my lip. A *yamf* from the kitchen gave me enough reason to briefly leave the living room.

I just had a phone conversation with Twilight Sparkle! I squeed as quietly as I could, leaning against the worktop. Once that's out of my system I took a glance at Tibba, sitting in front of her bowls looking as pitiful as she could.

*Yamf*

"You got food!" I moaned at her. It was like reading off a script with this cat. Every dinner time she'd be mooching either at our feet, in the doorway or in the kitchen; always believing she'd get something regardless as to whether or not she even liked the food we were having at the time. She gave me that same huffy half-miaow. "There's nothing else." This was true. Mum was having curry, dad had chow mein and, since it wasn't the first Friday of the month, I had an omelette so nothing for pussy. I returned to the living room.

"Well, I'm sure there'll be no trouble for you to ring whenever." Dad concluded. "Okay. Goodbye." He put the phone down with a stunned expression. He turned to my mum. "He says he's livin' in a world of talking horses."

"Ponies." I muttered.

"Are you serious?!?" She asked.

"That's what he told me." Dad confirmed, returning to his plate. Curiously enough the next item on the news gave us all goosebumps.

"Earlier this morning," The reporter stated, "The residents of Achadh Mòr awoke to find that the home of one Jane Brown, widow, had mysteriously vanished during the night. All that's left are the gardens and car. The lack of witnesses and reliable evidence leaves investigators with no choice but to draw a blank. However, given that marshy terrain has taken place of the elements that have vanished, rumours are circulating that this is directly linked to the disappearance of the property on Clarence Road, Enderby on Wednesday." We shared an uncomfortable glance.

"Think we should give'er a ring?" I asked.

"Best leave i'till tomorrow." Mum answered after a while.

---

That night I couldn't settle down. I was restless, or more restless than usual. Everything that had happened was swimming through my mind, trying to coalesce into a coherent and rational form; it was worse than having a strong artificial light shining on the curtains from the outside. Speak of the devil, someone in the neighbourhood let their hard outdoor light come on. I moved my mouth like I was shouting 'Put that light out!' but didn't actually speak for fear of upsetting someone, especially my mum. After a couple of minutes it went out anyway.

---

I couldn't remember what I was dreaming that night; I wasn't even sure if it was pony-related. I came round to the same somewhat annoying sound of my mum having her breakfast in bed, like every flaming weekend. I was rather bothered since I had this dreadful urge to turn over and fantasise but the sounds of either or both of my parents doing things upstairs no matter how mundane always put me off. I plugged my ears with my fingers in the hopes that it'd be some time soon when I could get the chance but I was still a bit weary and couldn't maintain the position. Then there was a moment of relative quiet but before I could start coming up with an elaborate storyline dad came upstairs to retrieve mum's dirties.

Just like a normal Saturday morning, there was muttering from the master bedroom before dad carried the dishes downstairs and then mum went to the bathroom; this was possibly the worst part of Saturday mornings, she was so heavy-footed and always seemed to slam the door and bolt it with the same force. I absolutely had to plug my ears now, ever since puberty I found the sounds of someone on the lavatory to be disgusting, especially her. Once again I was inconvenienced by the position but the worst had passed and now she was taking a fairly long time getting ready for the day; I couldn't really complain though as I always took a long time with the comb. Dad went to make their bed. Grunting emanated from the bathroom as she seemed to fuss over the enamel and I really got a problem as my bladder began sending desperate signals.

---

I was often a particularly late riser during the weekend, due to one thing and another, but most of my time in the bathroom was spent picking fluff out of my comb; for some reason I found the clumps of grime fascinating as they accumulated before washing them off. Once I got downstairs Tibba came bounding up to me, well not really 'bounding' more sort of 'clumsily running'.

*Raow*

"You be'aved yourself?" I asked, seeing as she had taken to leaving messages for me when I came down or back. I took a look round and gave a satisfied nod before retrieving my coat and shoes. Once I was ready to go I turned to the back door only to find the little madam mooching about her food dish, looking pathetic.

"All right." I moaned as I got the cat biscuits out. Almost as soon as I poured them she got her nose in.

---

The rest of the day went deceptively normal. I got home after my parents and made my bed while mum fussed about with the polish, then they went out for lunch while I did my own thing. I was in my most regular place when they returned, on the computer.

"Did you want to ring Auntie Jane?" Mum shouted up. Immediately I turned the screen off and almost leapt out of the chair while answering affirmatively in an enthusiastic tone.

The phone rang thrice while I stood filled with a mix of uncertainty and anticipation before it was answered.

"Hello?" Came a mousy voice.

"'Eya, Aun'." I replied.

"Oooh, Colin!" She perked up. "I didn't think I'd hear from anyone. How did you know the phones would be connected?"

"Same thing 'appened t' Granddad." I told her. "Di'n't yer see any other humans 'ere?"

"Oh, no." She replied. "I've not even been into town yet. I'm sorry to say that, while I'll miss you all, I think I'm going t'be very happy here; everyone's so friendly and it's all so cheerful." I was very ambivalent about this.

"I'm just glad you're okay." I sighed.

"Oh, it's more than okay here. Yesterday, about noon, there was this crowd of ponies assembled outside the house. I'm no' really sure how to describe them."

"How about 'colourful'?"

"Oh, yes. Very colourful. Why this whole society seems to've been built by ponies! I know it sounds silly bu..."

"Easy now. I do believe you because, like I said, granddad's been through the same thing and he phoned us last night."

"Well," She recovered her original point, "The crowd was there for a while and Bunker went out and gave a cautious sniff at some of their hooves; when they all smiled at him I figured I could try and meet them. So, I stepped out the door and..."

"Yes?"

"I could just feel all their eyes on me and this tall gracious one stepped forward. I felt like I was meeting the Queen." That's putting it mildly. I thought. "It came as a shock when I learned she was actually a princess. She gave a friendly greeting and said that I would be welcome as a potential citizen of her country. You'll laugh when I say it's name."

"No I won't. It's 'Equestria', isn't it?"

"Yes!" She cried. "Barely half an hour after that this really excitable pink one came up and started rambling about becoming friends and gave me a party invitation."

"Did you go?" I asked in an almost warning tone.

"I only got back an hour ago." I cocked an eyebrow. I'd always figured that Pinkie Pie threw her welcome parties in the afternoon until late.

"Just to provide reassurance," I asked, "Would you like to speak with mum?"

"Thank you, Colin." I handed over the receiver.

I had a lot to think about. I was thrilled but frightened by the news. Which version of Equestria was it? Of the 56 episodes in the series up to 10 had some form of especially unsettling plot elements and some of the fanfics chose some extremely hostile storylines. Would we end up there? At least I could see Jane and Granddad again and I'd be amongst the ponies! An image of Princess Celestia flashed into my mind. Once the thrill of the idea of meeting the sun goddess ebbed I wondered 'If Jane met Celestia, did Granddad?'.

"Cor." Mum moaned once the phone call was over. "Everything's going crazy these days. How did Jane and yer dad," She looked at my dad, "End up in some kind of schoolgirl's fantasy world?!?" I felt a weight in my gut, the feeling of guilt. I had admitted to myself that I was a brony a few months ago and wondered what exactly it would be like to live under the yoke of the, as the fanon described them, alicorns. I feared that perhaps it was mind over matter, that I was in some way responsible.

---

I mentioned that I'd like to have a bath that night. Although unusual they asked no awkward questions and dad already had his. It was a gut instinct that made me decide on this. Every time I took a bath I'd get into a strange ambivalent state where, on the one hand, I wanted to just languish and drift away but, on the other, I was conscious that there was only one lavatory in the house and three people.

Not even a good soak could alleviate the turmoil in my mind. Is it a better Equestria than canon? Did waking up in another dimension damage their health? What emotional impact could it leave in the long run? It was going to be another rough night.

---

As I lay awake my mind swam with the chances and the dangers. Now and again I tried to force myself to stop overthinking the negatives in case there was some psionic influence. Then I suddenly felt at ease, a tone of hope crept through and a key memory flashed in my mind; my eyes bulged and I gasped as I chuntered the immortal phrase.

"Zettai daijoubu dai yo."

Comments

[poli]

So not one human get to send to equestria but a hole town will end up there? Intrensting concept which sadly rarely yoused in my opinion sure it's fun when you end up in equestri and all but it woud be way bether if a big group of humans woud end up there to forming comunityes forging alliances befrend the ponies get moral/etnical dillemas. It's so much more fun to describing things on these kind of level. Faved up voted can't waite for more.