When It All Began... (Entry #1)
Dear Princess Cele--…whoops! Way too used to writing that…
Dear Diary,
My name is Twilight Sparkle, nice to meet you! Hehe, I’m greeting you as if I just met a brand new pony in town, though I figured the greeting might be necessary since I am addressing you directly after all, as if you were in fact a living thing. But since I’ve only known you for about twenty minutes now, since the time I purchased you at the bookshop in Ponyville this afternoon, let me tell you a little bit about myself…I’m a unicorn living in Ponyville that’s studying all about the magic of friendship as the student of the one and only Princess Celestia. That said, the one interest I have that I enjoy more than anything else is reading! When I’m not out spending time with some of my closest friends, it’s quite common for me to lose track of time when getting so caught up in my studies.
Speaking of my friends…I know I just met you not too long ago, diary, but you seem trustworthy enough; can you keep a secret? Good. And don’t think I won’t rip all the pages out of you if you tell anypony! Now for the secret…let’s see, how should I start this off…oh, I know, let me start with what happened yesterday, when I took the time out of my studies to give my good friend, Applejack, a helping hoof around her farm. Oh and just so you don’t get lost while I tell you about all that happened, Applejack is an Earth pony that works the farm in Ponyville known as Sweet Apple Acres. She spends each day working hard harvesting all the apples from the apple trees to help support her family. Not only is she hard working, but she’s the most honest pony you’ll ever meet. She is the Element of Honesty after all! She’s a true sweetheart too, and has always been there for everypony. Well, before I get lost in introductions, here’s what happened yesterday…
* * * * *
It was a beautiful day in the town of Ponyville, with no clouds to be seen in the skies. All of the citizens of Ponyville were out and about taking care of their daily business, whether it was picking up more groceries, spending time chatting with other ponies in the open area by Town Hall, or enjoying the relaxing sounds of nature or even having a nice picnic at the park. As Twilight Sparkle left her library home to trot towards Sweet Apple Acres, she could see all the ponies in town already enjoying their day, and it was still somewhat early, only 10 in the morning! Once Twilight Sparkle passed through Sugarcube Square, she could already see a line building up over at Sugarcube Corner where one of her friends, Pinkie Pie, works at, baking and selling all different kinds of desserts and treats to everypony in town.
She reached the edge of town within a couple of minutes, following a pathway headed south in the direction of the wide field of apple trees she could see in the distance. Upon passing some of the trees, all of a sudden she heard three voices shout out of nowhere.
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADER PONY CANNONBALLS!” the three voices yelled in unison, the sound of a bang echoing through the trees as three young fillies flew out of the trees, all impacting into the side of Twilight Sparkle’s body, the four toppling all over into a pile.
“Ow…” Twilight Sparkle moaned, feeling a shooting pain in her side from where the helmets worn by the three fillies all striked.
“Sweetie Belle, I told you that was way too low!” the orange pegasus filly, Scootaloo, said to the white unicorn filly, taking her helmet off in frustration. The three young fillies got up and brushed themselves off, wiping away all the dirt and dust that collected on them from the landing.
“Nevermind that Scootaloo, look who we flew into!” exclaimed the young yellow Earth pony, Apple Bloom, pointing out Twilight to her two friends.
“Oh…we’re really sorry, Twilight,” Sweetie Belle said as she walked up to her, eyes showing guilt from hurting her bigger sister, Rarity’s, good friend.
“That’s okay girls, but…don’t you think you should try something a little less dangerous? You know, something that won’t get you or anypony else hurt like that?” Twilight asked, massaging the side of her body with her hoof to ease off the pain.
“Aw, but where’s the fun in that?” Scootaloo asked. “If we discovered our talent in something extreme such as being a pony cannonball, not only could we get our cutie marks, but we could even be as cool as Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo was one of Ponyville’s biggest fans of Rainbow Dash, if not the biggest fan, and had always aspired to be just like her.
“That’s a great thought, Scootaloo, but I strongly suggest starting small. What good is a cutie mark if you’re always getting hurt all the time? Or hurting others?” Twilight said hoping to convince the young filly to change her mind.
Scootaloo whispered to her two friends, “I’ve got an idea to get her out of our manes, follow along.” She then turned to Twilight, “You’re right, Twilight…but I think we just had a better idea! The three of us will open up a food chain! Selling…uh…tacos and burritos, to get our cutie marks!”
Apple Bloom looked oddly at Scootaloo, but then tried to play along. “Right…yeah, that’s exactly what we’ll do! And we’ll call the place…uh…,” she then looked around her for some sort of inspiration, only to then look at her white unicorn friend, immediately coming up with an idea, “…oh I know! Taco Belle!”
The two then looked at Sweetie Belle who sat dumbfounded. “What?!” she then squealed in confusion, as her voice cracked.
“You know, like ‘Bell’, but with your name instead,” Apple Bloom clarified.
“Ooooooh,” Sweetie Belle said as she understood. Two seconds later, she once again squealed a “What?!” even louder than last time, less confused about the name and more shocked about the idea.
Twilight Sparkle giggled and said, “It’s worth a shot! Though I can’t say I’ve ever heard of ‘tacos’ or ‘burritos’, but good luck with the idea! I’ll just be on my way now, have a good day!” Twilight Sparkle waved to the three fillies and then started to trot off again towards Sweet Apple Acres.
Scootaloo groaned as she left. “I thought she’d never leave,” she grunted, putting her helmet back on. “Ready to give it another shot, my fellow Cutie Mark Crusaders?”
After a few more minutes of trotting, Twilight started to approach the Sweet Apple Acres home. She hadn’t caught any sight of her orange Earth pony friend, however, working on the farm. Twilight Sparkle walked up to the front door of the home and raised her hoof, knocking on the door a couple of times. After hearing the clopping of hooves approaching the door, the wooden door opened with a creak, a crimson-colored colt standing at the door. It was Applejack’s older brother, Big McIntosh, a soft-spoken pony that assists Applejack on the farm.
“Oh, hello Big Mac, is Applejack around?” Twilight asked him.
“Eeyup,” he responded simply, stepping aside to allow Twilight inside. Big Mac then pointed a hoof upstairs.
“She’s in her room?” Twilight asked, confirming that was what he meant when he pointed upstairs.
“Eeyup.” Big Mac then walked outside, heading towards the apple trees with a bucket to begin his harvest.
Twilight walked up the stairs into the upstairs hallway of the Sweet Apple Acres home. From there she walked towards Applejack’s room, the door to it closed shut. Twilight Sparkle knocked on the door a couple times. “Applejack?” she called out to her friend.
“Is that you, Twiligh’? Come on in,” a voice said from the other side. Twilight could easily tell it was her friend Applejack simply from her iconic accent, but something was a little different about her voice. Twilight Sparkle opened up the door to see Applejack under the covers in her bed. Her face appeared slightly pale as she shivered a little under her covers, a straw in her mouth that came from the bottle of apple juice she held in her hoof.
“Applejack, you look absolutely horrible!” Twilight Sparkle blurted out. “What happened to you?”
“Ah’m a might under the weather,” Applejack said softly, her eyes half closed as she turned her head to look at Twilight. “Ah woke up this mornin’ about to get ready for the harvest, when Ah realized Ah was so cold even under my covers. Granny took my temperature and told me it was best Ah just get some sleep, but Ah cain’t miss out on harvestin’!”
“But Applejack, your health is much more important than that!” Twilight tried to convince her. “But since I’m here, I’ll do my best to help out on the farm in your place.”
“Ah’m so sorry, sugarcube, had Ah known Ah’d get sick like this, Ah wouldn’t have called ya out here,” Applejack said sadly, looking away and breaking eye contact from her friend.
“It doesn’t matter Applejack, good friends are always there for each other! I’m actually glad I still came so that I could help you out while you’re in this condition. You just concentrate on getting your rest, and I’ll pick up the slack for you!” Twilight offered, walking over to her friend and tucking in her bed sheets which were previously all astray.
“Thank ya kindly, sugarcube. You’re a true friend,” she said, sipping the last of her apple juice. “Actually, if y’all don’t mind, could ya bring me another bottle of apple juice?”
“Of course, Applejack!” Twilight Sparkle’s horn glowed as she teleported away from Applejack’s room, only to reappear a couple seconds later in front of Applejack, a bottle of apple juice floating magically in front of her.
“Wow Twi, that was mighty nice of ya to get it so quickly like that. Ah’ve no idea how quickly you unicorns get exhausted with your fancy magic and all, but please don’t use up too much of your energy on me, alright?”
Twilight used her magic to pull the straw from the empty bottle and placed it into the fresh bottle of apple juice, bringing the bottle up to Applejack’s face as the straw slid into her mouth. “It’s alright, Applejack. Like I said, your health is very important, so it’s no problem at all to use my magic to take care of you, no matter how exhausting it is! I’ll be sure to save my energy to harvest plenty of apples for you, but right now I want to make sure you’re well taken care of.”
Applejack smiled in response, drinking her apple juice as she watched Twilight pull the covers of the bed up Applejack’s body, ensuring that her body was completely covered and warm. “Now hold on, Twi, ya said you’d be here to do the harvest, don’t be spending all day worrying your pretty heart about me,” Applejack said in reaction to her friend working so hard to ensure she was comfortable in bed.
“Nonsense, Applejack, I’m just making sure you stay warm. It appears that you have a fever, and you’ve been shivering a little ever since I came in, so I have to make sure you’re warm in your bed. I am glad that you’ve also been drinking fluids which will definitely help keep you hydrated, and since you’ve been drinking juices you’re also getting all the nutrients you need! Though, I’d even suggest orange juice if you’d—“
“Oranges? Twi, who do ya think Ah am?” Applejack asked, immediately stopping her sipping of the apple juice to ask the question.
Twilight Sparkle giggled to herself. “It’s fine, Applejack. Apple juice will do just fine. Tell you what, you seem comfortable enough now and got plenty of drink, let me go take care of the harvest, you just please get some rest. It’s the best thing for you right now, especially since you appear to be lethargic.”
“Letha-wha?” Applejack asked, showing her symptoms as her voice trailed off weakly.
“Exactly,” Twilight stated. “It basically means you’re really tired. So please, get some rest,” she then pleaded, fluffing up Applejack’s pillow.
“Alright, alright,” Applejack said as she placed her apple juice bottle next to her bed, getting comfortable in her bed. “Thanks again, Twi.”
“It’s no problem at all, Applejack. Anything for a good friend.” Twilight Sparkle smiled at her friend as Applejack’s eyes slowly fell shut. Ensuring she had everything she needed and was comfortable enough to rest for the day, Twilight left her room and closed the door quietly. She then left the home and headed out towards the apple trees, to meet with Big McIntosh to use her magic in assisting with the harvest.
* * * * *
And I could see why Applejack was so worried about me getting exhausted that day! My goodness, I knew the farm was large, but I had no idea it’d take so long to harvest all those apples, even with magic! I can see how she got so easily exhausted that one time when she tried to do the entire harvest all by herself. Even though I could feel myself getting a little bit tired after using my magic for so many hours, my day wasn’t over just yet. Well…let me just get to what happened.
* * * * *
“Applejack?” Twilight said lightly, as she quietly opened the door to Applejack’s room. It was just about dinnertime, but Applejack was still soundly asleep in her bed. The bottle of apple juice she had placed next to her bed was now empty; from the sight of this, Twilight Sparkle immediately blinked out of the room, to return a few seconds later with another fresh bottle of apple juice, along with a plate of apple cobbler.
Not wanting to disturb her friend, she gently placed the bottle and plate on the wooden table next to her bed. As she started to walk out the door, she could hear the yawns of a pony awaking from her slumber. “Twiligh’…you’re still here?” she asked gently, stretching her arms while staying under the covers.
“Oh, Applejack, you’re awake! I actually finished helping your brother with the harvest not too long ago, but since it was getting late, I decided to bring you some food and more apple juice. You’ve been sleeping all day; you must be hungry by now.”
Applejack yawned again, but then said exhaustedly, “That’s sweet of ya, but Ah’m actually still ain’t feeling hungry any. Sorry to trouble ya, Twiligh’.”
“But Applejack, you’ve only lost your appetite because of the fever, you’ve still gotta put something in your stomach. I don’t want you to starve, I’m worried about you!”
“What? Ain’t ya ever heard you should ‘feed a cold and starve a fever’?”
“Applejack, please, that’s not really true. The Mythbuckers even said it wasn’t true! Even though you haven’t been feeling hungry, your stomach is still completely empty. So please, get some food in there!”
Applejack looked through her half-closed eyes into Twilight’s eyes, able to see how worried she truly was for her friend. Applejack then looked to see the plate of apple cobbler, reaching her head over to the plate and taking a bite.
“Also, Applejack, I think it’s best you took a bath, too,” Twilight Sparkle suggested. She thought about her words for a second, quickly slapping a hoof onto her mouth. “No, wait, I’m not saying you smell bad or anything, but, I know that a warm bath is perfect for a feverish pony.”
As Applejack swallowed her bite of the apple cobbler, she thought about Twilight’s words. “Yeah,” she started, letting out another yawn. “Ah think a bath’d sound nice and comfortable right about now.” She then reached over and took another bite of the apple cobbler; she didn’t feel hungry, but after taking that first bite she could definitely feel she needed more in her stomach.
Twilight Sparkle took a seat at the end of Applejack’s bed, next to where her legs were under the covers, and watched while Applejack finished her meal. “If ya wanna get the water started, the washroom’s at the end of the hall,” Applejack said, pointing a hoof in that direction before starting to sip more of her apple juice. As Twilight walked out of the door, she heard her friend’s voice. “Thanks again, Twi. Ah really can’t thank ya enough, sugarcube.”
The tub of the washroom filled slowly with water, both the hot and cold faucets turned on to ensure the temperature of the water stayed at the perfect warmth that would help regulate a sick pony’s internal temperature. Once the tub was completely filled, Twilight turned off the faucets and dipped her hoof in to finally confirm that the water was at the right temperature, and she then walked back to Applejack’s room, to find her struggling to get out of bed; even with all that sleep, her muscles were still quite weak.
“Here, let me help you!” Twilight said, running over to Applejack’s side, who then waved a hoof at Twilight to back her away.
“Horseapples, Twi, Ah can get out on my own jus’ fine,” Applejack said confidently. Once all four of her hooves touched the ground, however, she felt her body sway a little, as she started to lose balance. Twilight Sparkle was able to catch her before she fell over, then looking at her while Applejack gave back a nervous smile. “Ah guess Ah could use a lil’ help getting to the washroom, now could Ah?”
Twilight’s look slowly turned to a smile, as she leaded her friend over to the bathroom where a tub of warm water awaited her. Applejack carefully stepped into the tub, sinking into the water slowly. “Ahhhhh, that feels mighty nice,” Applejack sighed contently, holding onto the sides of the tub with her front hooves as she laid back against the tub.
At that moment, Twilight Sparkle watched as her friend’s coat started to slightly darken as it absorbed the water around her. She watched Applejack place her hooves into the water and carefully splash some of the water into her face, seeing the drops of water sliding down that face of hers, down those white specks of freckles. Applejack then realized she was still wearing her ribbon; she brought her hooves back to untie the ribbon and place it aside, and then swung her mane around, the strands of her mane flying gently across the back of her head and then hanging loosely down her neck. She lowered her head back to allow her mane to hang freely into the tub, soaking into the water. She sunk her mane all the way in, bringing it back up and over the wall of the tub, letting it hang outside as the hairs of her mane dripped water on the floor. As Applejack once again grabbed the sides of the tub, her body appeared to go numb as all of her muscles relaxed, her eyes closing as she enjoyed every moment of that dip in the tub.
* * * * *
And I just sat there, staring like a fool. I felt just so awkward sitting there staring at my friend as she bathed, but…I don’t know what happened! It just started when I saw her coat start to get wet, noticing the shine as the water stuck to the hairs of her coat, but when I saw those green eyes of hers open slightly after splashing them with water, watching those drops of water slide down her face…I couldn’t stop! I thought I’d snap out of it after that, but when she untied her mane and let it down…well, it was the first time I saw her mane like that! And…well…I’m just going to be straightforward. She was beautiful. Very beautiful. It was so hard to look away, her wet mane giving off that same shine as her coat, those dazzling green eyes and those cute freckles on her face…
Oh goodness, this is so embarrassing! I’m so glad I’m not telling this to anypony else, they’d definitely think I was crazy by now! But, the only conclusion I could come up with that night, as I laid in my bed and thought about everything over and over again, was…well, I must have developed feelings for Applejack! But…she’s a mare. What would my friends think? What would my brother think? Actually, what would Princess Celestia think? If she didn’t accept the fact that I was starting to like another mare, that could mean big trouble!
So yeah, it was quite a long day yesterday. That night, I couldn’t sleep at all. All I could do was roll around in bed all night, thinking about Applejack, replaying every scene of her in that tub. But not just that, I also thought about everything I had done to help her and how appreciative she was of it. Especially all of those times she called me ‘sugarcube’…I mean she calls everypony that, she’s just that nice, but…I just love hearing it from her, more than Rarity’s ‘darling’ all the time. That, combined with Applejack’s cute accent…Oh no! I really do have feelings for her, don’t I? But just wait until I tell you about what happened today before I went to the bookstore to buy you…for now, I’d better go, I think Spike will be home from his trip to Canterlot soon and there’s no way I could have him find you!
Until next time,
Twilight Sparkle
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you know the old saying 'show don't tell'? well you showed us and then told us.
Trust me you can cut the tell part.
1286646
Agreed with this. The explanation was unnecessary as the target audience will know what Unicorn's are capable of. Better to over describe, though, then leaving the reading wondering WTF?
Also, you could space the paragraphs a bit. It makes a bit of an easier read.
One last thing, and this is just a suggestion:
I'm wondering if "I think I have a crush on Applejack!" maybe a bit more appropriate for the tone of the piece. This is, despite AJ getting a fever, a more lighthearted chapter. That said, the wording wasn't wrong as Twi would say something like that as well. Just a thought and purely subjection.
For a first fic, first chapter, you've handled it very well. Good word choices, perfect pacing, no overt grammatical issues that I could see while reading, and enough comedy to keep it where it needed to be.
Here, have one on me.
static4.fjcdn.com/comments/Squeak+squeak.+Ima+taco+_7854f8af9b07586a46696e77ad876ba4.jpg
Onwards!
This fic isvjust
img05.deviantart.net/9d93/i/2012/002/1/f/wet_mane_applejack_by_timon_the_bronie-d4l1kxi.png
