• Published 31st Oct 2012
  • 1,765 Views, 40 Comments

Derpy's Bed Time Stories - Derpy Fan 4eva

Derpy tells Dinky and Sparkler bedtime stories.

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Dinky's favorite story

Ditzy the Baker
By Derpy Fan 4eva
Inspired by Eric Carle

Derpy was very tired after a long day of delivering the mail to all of Ponyville. Her wings were so sore they dragged on the ground and her head was pounding relentlessly, most likely making her eyes go all ditzy. On top of that, some idiot didn't tie down the items in the delivery truck that day and a flower pot containing one full bloomed daisy, one wrought iron anvil, a two wheeled-cart containing four three-pound bales of hay, and finally, one very expensive, one-of-a-kind, priceless piano used by the Colten John in his world famous Tour De Trottingham concert. Her boss was livid to say the least. Derpy sighed as she trotted up her front porch and opened her door. “When I find out which moron didn't do his job right, I’ll-I’ll-!”

“You’ll what mommy?” Derpy caught herself and whiped her head to the couch to see her daughter Dinky staring at her all wide-eyed and every so adorable. She simultaneously scolded herself and praised Celestia that she had not cursed in front of Dinky. Luna only knew how many times she had been called to see Cheerilee because Dinky decided to teach her schoolmates “the new word mommy taught her.”

“I’ll…uh, give him a burnt muffin!” Derpy stomped her hoof in emphasis.

Dinky gasped. “What dark deed must this pony have done to deserve such horrible wrath from you mommy?”
For a second, Derpy was true to her name and had a brain derp. “Have you been reading Sparkler's comics again?” Dinky’s hoof-caught-in-the-muffin-tin expression was priceless. “No…”


“Yes mommy?” Derpy glared at her daughter, demanding the truth as her wings flared to full length. “Yes I did…” Dinky stared pitifully at the floor, expecting swift a merciless punishment.

Derpy’s complexion lightened dramatically. “You know Sparkler and I don't like it when you read those. There for older ponies.”

“But I am older mommy! I was five when you said I couldn't read it. And now I'm six!” Derpy laughed at the little filly’s nigh-unarguable logic.

Oh, if only Ditzy could see how bright our daughter has become. As much as that is true my little muffin, you'll have to wait a few more years.” It was then that a loud gurgling could be heard coming from the stomachs of the two grey mares. “How about we go get some dinner, how does that sound?” The young unicorn jumped with glee and raced to the kitchen to help her mother like a good little filly.

After the two had finished their wonderful meal of spaghetti and beet-balls with pesto sauce, it was time to put Dinky to bed. “Alright, my little muffin, which story do you want to read tonight?”

“Ditzy the Baker! Ditzy the Baker!” Derpy chuckled. It was Dinky’s favorite. She trotted over and carefully pulled out the well-used book from her daughter’s bookshelf. She had to remind herself to take it by the town library to see if Twilight could rebind it.

“Okay my little sweet roll, do you have Cinni?” Dinky held up her stuffed cinni-bon creature. “Have you brushed your teeth?” Dinky huffed into her mother’s snout, breath reeking of cinnamon. “Is your homework done?” A bundle of papers floated through the door and was placed into a little purple backpack that was hanging on the foot of the bed.
“Okay, Once upon a time…”


Long ago, in a magical land far away, there was a city built on the side of a mountain. It was filled with beautiful buildings with all the colors of the rainbow. And in this city on the mountain lived Ditzy Doo, the baker, his wife Derpy, and their daughter, Dinky.

Now Ditzy was known all throughout the land as the best baker who ever lived. His name was even known in the farthest town of Ponyville. Even the Rich family would eat his delicious baked goods.
Early every morning, while everypony still asleep and while Luna’s moon was still in the sky, Dinky began baking his goods. He baked all kinds of yummy breads and rolls, sweet cooties and tarts, and pies filled with every fruit and filling one could wish for.

When the Shoppe opened later when Celestia’s sun had fully risen, Dinky would sell the goods. No pony could walk by the open door and resist the warm, sweet smells drifting out of Ditzy’s Baked Goods. People came from near and far.
The two Princesses who ruled over all of Equstria loved Dinky’s sweet rolls. Every morning, Dinky would be a big filly and would carry a basket filled with warm sweet rolls and muffins, still fresh from the oven to the big castle where the princesses lived.

“Mm,” Luna would say, spreading apple marmalade on her roll.
“Ahh,” Celestia would say, coating hers in Zap Apple jam.
And so, each morning was the same as the day before-until one early morning…
“Dinky! Time for breakfast!” As Ditzy’s little muffin came running down the stairs, she accidently stepped on the pet cat who was napping on the stairs.

“MEERRROOWW!” went the cat

“AHHH!” went Dinky.

“SPLASH!” went the milk.

Ditzy rushed over to his beloved daughter to make sure she was all right. “I’m sorry daddy. I didn’t mean to…’
“There, there my little honey-bun I know. But what am I to do?” cried Ditzy. “I cannot make the Princesses sweet rolls without fresh milk.”
In desperation, Ditzy levitated a pitcher of water. “I hope no one will notice the difference,” he said as he poured water into the flour to make the dough.

Now, you and I may not be able to tell the difference between a sweet roll made with milk and a sweet roll made with water, but the immortal princesses could.

“Ugh,” cried Luna after she took a bite.
“What is this!” roared Celestia. “Where is Ditzy the Baker? Bring him here at once!”
So Ditzy was brought before the royal court.
What do you call this retched thing?” roared Celestia, using the Royal Canterlot Voice. “This is not a roll, tis a lie.” And with that threw the half eaten roll at Ditzy’s feet.

“I am sorry your highnesses, but I had to use water instead of milk today.” Ditzy admitted, hanging his head in shame.
We do not wish to hear thine excuses! Thou knew more than any of our subjects how personally we take our breakfast. Tis the only thing we can share with our sister. For making a mockery of us, thou art banished from our city. Pack your things and leave Canterlot forever,” shouted Celestia. “We never want to see thee AGAIN!”
“My princess,” pleaded Ditzy, tears in his eyes, “this is my home. Where would I go? Please, I beg of you, give me one more chance.”

We must banish thee for the severity of thine crime,” said Celestia. But then she remembered Ditzy’s good rolls and how much she and Luna would miss them. “Well, Ditzy…” Celestia started to say, sounding much calmer. Then she thought some more. “Very well, you may stay if you can invent a roll through which my rising sun can shine through three times.” And to make things more difficult to justify his crime, she added, “It must be made from one piece of dough, and most of all, it must taste good. Now go home and bring me such a roll by tomorrow morning.”

Poor Ditzy! Worried and sad he rushed back to his bakery. Walter worked all day and well into the night. He made long rolls, short rolls, round rolls, twisted rolls. He made thin rolls, and fat rolls. And then he made some more. Ditzy beat, pilled, pushed, and pounded the dough. But it was all in vain.

He could not make a roll that would meet Celestia’s standards. By early morning Ditzy had only one long piece of dough left. “It is hopeless,” he cried. In a sudden fit of anger, he grabbed the last piece of dough and flung it against the ceiling.
“Stick there you thrice damned dough!” he yelled at the blob. But it didn’t. It fell, twisting itself as it dropped down and plopped into a pail of melted butter. Derpy and Dinky were awoke by Ditzy’s yell and rushed into the bakery just as Ditzy was about to dump out the useless butter and dough.

“Daddy, stop!” shouted Dinky. “Look!” And quick as lightning, Derpy grabbed the roll and popped into the ready oven. The cat even helped by dropping some salt on it when no one was looking. Soon it was golden brown and crisp. Derpy took out the roll and handed it to Ditzy. It hadn’t risen very high, but it had three holes.

Ditzy levitated the twisted roll up to the window and smiled. He saw Celestia’s sun shining though it three times. Ditzy put the roll into a basket and rushed to the palace as fast as he could, lickety-split. There he delivered his new invention to the waiting princesses. And they too were over joyed to see the sun shining three times. Then Celestia and Luna took a bite. Ditzy was afraid to watch.
“Huzza!” Said Celestia.
“The yum has been tripled!” shouted Luna.

Both princesses were glad Ditzy wouldn’t have to leave. And Ditzy was happy too. “Now, my little baker, pray tell us. What do you call this delicious roll?” asked Celestia.
“Uhh, yes, praytellus…” Ditzy stammered, horrified his blunder would cost him.
“What was that? Pra… pre.. Pretzel?” said Celestia. “Pretzel it shall be then. From now on,” she declared, “We will have sweet rolls in the morning…” “…And pretzels in the afternoon!” Exclaimed Luna.

Ditzy rushed home and spent all day and all night baking pretzels. And the next day there were baskets filled to the brim with piping hot pretzels with enough for everyone in the whole town. And Dinky got to deliver a special basket to Celestia and Luna. And a cheer went up through the whole town for Ditzy and his pretzels.


“The end.” Derpy closed the old book and looked at her beloved daughter. The poor dear had fallen asleep. Derpy carefully pulled her quilt nice and snug and gently kissed her daughters horn. “Goodnight my little muffin.” Derpy tip toed out of the room and trotted back to her bed. “Oh thank Luna this day is finally done.” She crawled into bed and looked out her window, looking at the constellation her Ditzy had once shown her, long ago. “Goodnight my stud muffin. We’ll see you again soon.” And with that she closed her eyes and dreamed her special baker was still with her and had made her special basket of pretzels, just like he used to.

“Mommy, mommy, wake up! The story came true, the story came true!” The poor pegasus was assaulted in the early morning hours as her daughter bounced up and down on her bed. “Mommy, get up! There are pretzels outside, just like the book said!” With that Derpy bolted up and quickly let her daughter drag her downstairs where, sure enough, there was a basket of pretzels and a jar of her favorite jam on the table. There was a not attached to the basket that read to my favorite pair of muffins. Derpy clutched the note and let tears of joy run down her cheeks as the two sat down for breakfast.

Downtown, a certain librarian and pink pony were enjoying sweet rolls at Sugar Cube Corner, when Pinkie’s tail twisted into the shape of a pretzel. Twilight Sparkle took “Oh sweet Celestia! The chandelier's falling!” Twilight quickly dove for cover. “Oh, stop being a silly filly Twi. My tail wasn’t all twitch-a-twitch. That’s just means somepony’s wish came true.” “Ohh,” said Twilight, sheepishly crawling out from under the table. “But why was it a pretzel shape?” “Guess somepony reeeeeeaaaally wanted a pretzel. Tee Hee!” The pink pony giggled and returned to work. She would have to remember to get that book back from Twilight before Derpy got home today. She wouldn’t want tto ruin the surprise.

Author's Note:

Hey there, if you liked this story and want me to ponify another beloved children's story, then I will need your help. I started on chapter books at an early age, so I don't know a whole lot of children's books. For more information on requests, go to this blog. http://www.fimfiction.net/blog/108024/derpys-night-time-stories