Boast Busters - Extended Cut

by AdmiralSakai

To Soothe the Savage Beast

Spike looked up from scalding individual cans of milk with his breath just long enough to ask, “So, what exactly is the point of all of this, again?” Then he was forced to get back to it, as Big Macintosh and the Guards motioned for another container to pour into the now-empty water tower.

“I’ll explain later!” Twilight yelled back, as she scribbled something that looked like a musical score on a scroll held in her telekinesis, “But right now, I really need less talking and more fire!” Then she paused, and looked over to her left. “Rarity! You can read sheet music, right? I might need some help with this.”

Under her breath, Twilight thanked her parents for her years of piano lessons as she levitated a short roll of parchment over to the tailor.

Rarity nodded, although her look of confidence quickly changed to confusion as she tried to parse the multiple key changes and mentally sound out the melody.

The ground under Spike’s claws began to shudder in a terribly distinctive pattern, and a towering mass of teeth, fur, and starlight squeezed out from in between two buildings.

“Aww, shit, here it comes…” Capt Marigold explained, entirely unnecessarily.

1stSgt Chamomile stepped up to her and pulled in a deep breath. “Okay. I know you’re not gonna like this, but if we send Second Platoon out with flashbangs we might be able to draw it back out to-”

Twilight raised a hoof, centimeters from his muzzle. “No! That’s probably enough milk as-is. Now, everypony needs to clear out and keep quiet!”

“Are you sure-?” the captain asked, and then trailed off.

Silently, Twilight nodded.

She backed up under somepony’s front porch, facing one of Ponyville's shallow lakes, as Guards and townsponies alike disappeared down alleys and into buildings. Spike swallowed hard and followed her, lurking at her side as inconspicuously as he could manage. Rarity had also joined them, holding the scroll of sheet music, and Rainbow Dash remained hovering just outside. The Lapwing drifted off behind the building, floating silently, propellers barely turning under their own momentum.

The beast drew closer, padding along the grassy space between the edge of town and the small stream that ran along it, every so often giving a low, rumbling growl.

Twilight turned to Spike and whispered “Here goes nothing…”

Almost on reflex, he coiled up behind her as those luminous yellow eyes tracked over them all.

The scholar brought her hoof up, and down again. Rainbow Dash mirrored the gesture and began flapping her armored wings slowly and rhythmically, with much broader strokes than she required just to stay in the air. Slowly, the cattails in the pond began to rustle and shift as a strong, steady breeze washed over them. Both Rarity and Twilight’s horns lit at once and the motion drifted gradually into an eerie synchrony- then, with a faint pulse of the unicorns’ combined telekinetic fields, each stem snapped cleanly in half horizontally.

All at once, the rustling was replaced by an eerie, oscillating hum. The unicorns pressed and bent individual reeds like the stops on some titanic wind instrument, and the hum split and shifted and overlapped with itself in never-repeating harmonies. It was elegant and alien, at once achingly simple and staggeringly complex, beautiful in the same way as the most profound physical equations. Spike had never heard anything remotely like it before, and at the same time developed the strangest sense that he’d been listening to it already for the whole of his short life; indeed, that he’d been listening to it for centuries, through the shell of his egg and before his egg had ever even existed. It sounded like the first song ever written, because it was the first song ever written- the Musica Universalis, the Song of the Spheres, set in motion long before life arose on the Material Plane; before the formation of the Material Plane itself.

The Ursa trod over, suddenly curious, and sniffed at the stream, its titanic footsteps somehow pounding in time with the melody. It couldn’t not keep time- the Song of the Spheres was the product of the harmonic interaction between the outer celestial shells, and the Ursa was a celestial being. In their natural environment far up above the clouds and the sidereal fields, tiny modifications to that vast harmony were how its kind communicated.

A few of the closer Royal Guard troops flinched backwards and reached for their weapons, but the Ursa ignored them utterly. Then, Dr. Proper Verse and Fluttershy both glided down from overhead, and took up positions on either side of Rainbow Dash; the volume of the Song redoubled, and harmonies rose to the surface that Spike hadn’t been able to hear before.

The great beast padded over to the upturned cistern of the water tower, seeming almost docile for the very first time that night. Spike watched Twilight wince, and start to tremble as her hooves sank into the soft soil; her horn flickered briefly, but the music continued. As he looked around the street he realized she and Rarity weren’t the only unicorns controlling the reeds any more. Unicorn Guardsponies stepped out from cover and added their own fields to the collection, bathing the entire stream in a multicolored glow; up above, the three fliers were joined by half a dozen other pegasi, including 1stSgt Chamomile.

The Ursa looked around, slowly and cautiously, and then knelt down in front of the water tank. Its luminous purple tongue slid out of its mouth and began to lap up the warm milk inside, which drained surprisingly quickly and nebulized throughout its immaterial body.

Around it, the Guard platoon was now joined by ordinary townsponies as well. With their assistance, the sound grew in both intensity and depth as though they’d pulled all the stops from some colossal pipe organ.

The Ursa stood up from the now-empty cistern and licked its lips, seemingly befuddled. It took a few more ponderous steps back away, shook its head, and sat down on its haunches with a thunderous noise- and then, little by little, those luminous yellow eyes dimmed and drifted closed, and its breathing became slow and even.

Twilight turned to Spike and pumped her hoof in the air, beaming with pride, heedless of the drop of blood trickling from her left nostril. Slowly and tentatively, she trotted out from under the awning. Spike looked to Rarity, and after a moment they followed her, and then other ponies began to emerge from their hiding spots as well.

“What… happened to it?” The tailor asked.

“It’s asleep,” explained Fluttershy, “they go into a torpor after eating…”

“So, now can we finally kill it?” Rainbow Dash drifted downward, hovering alarmingly close to the thing’s jaws.

Fluttershy shot her a withering stare.

“No, it’s still immaterial,” warned Twilight, “even more so, now that it’s unconscious and won’t voluntarily solidify to try and attack anypony. In fact, if it wasn’t also pretty much weightless, it’d sink right into the ground.”

As if to prove the scholar’s point, Pinkie Pie leaped out of the crowd and waved her hoof around madly inside the Ursa’s paw for a good few seconds, before Capt Marigold trotted over and none-too-gently pushed her out of the way.

“Crap, and those etheric rounds are still on their way from Canterlot…” Spike muttered, and then asked out loud, “How long do you think it’s gonna stay asleep for?”

This time, it was Fluttershy who answered: “I don’t know, maybe ten, fifteen minutes… twenty at most.”

A crowd was starting to develop in the streets around them, although nopony seemed willing to get too close. A stallion Spike couldn’t see- Noteworthy, perhaps- shouted “Wahoo! We did it!” and immediately drew a series of whispered admonitions.

“So… what’re we gonna do about it?” Marigold asked.

Twilight waved a hoof above her head at the Lapwing, and the little gunboat drifted back towards them. “We’re going to take it back to the Everfree.” The craft landed and she climbed aboard, followed moments later by Pinkie Pie and Capt Marigold. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash glided into position on either side.

“Ah’d love to help you out,” Applejack explained, “But Ah’m kinda’ plum tuckered right now, what with a building fallin’ on me ‘n all…”she sat down on her haunches with an audible thud, popped her dented helmet off, and replaced it with her Stetson, “So Ah think Ah’m gonna have to sit this one out.”

"Don't let a little head trauma slow you down, AJ!" Pinkie cheered through the Ursa.

Twilight nodded. “Don’t worry about it. Spike, if you could stay behind as well, ponies in town are going to need somebody to help coordinate cleaning all of this up.”

“Sure. Yeah, I can do that,” the dragon said. Fairly soon, somepony was going to have to deal with some extremely harried couriers from Canterlot and Fillydelphia, who had just shipped highly expensive and delicate ethereal shells in double quantity to a town that no longer needed them. And if he was being entirely honest with himself, the prospect of another late-night trip into the Everfree didn’t seem particularly appealing regardless.

Then, Twilight lit her horn, and before the widening eyes of the townsponies, lifted the whole of the Ursa into the air without any apparent effort. “Rarity, Catseye, I’m gonna need your help with this as well,” she explained, “it’s pretty much massless when it’s unconscious like this, but I could still use somepony to help balance the load.”

“I get it,” Pinkie Pie cut in, “It’s sort of like getting a friend or two to help move a sofa- a giant, deadly, extraterrestrial sofa.”

“Umm… yes, actually, pretty much.” Both other unicorns climbed onto the Lapwing’s deck, which was already rising as the craft gained altitude. As soon as there was enough space, their coordinated telekinesis slid the Ursa’s insensate form directly underneath. It was far too large to tie into the dangling ropes that had supported the water tower’s cistern, and would’ve passed right through them anyway. “Now, Rainbow, Fluttershy, see if you can round up some of the rest of the weather team. The Lapwing’s ballast system is quiet enough for altitude control, but we can’t risk firing up the engines. You’re going to have to tow us through the Everfree…”

---

The flight into the Everfree passed in eerie silence, and thankfully without much incident. They kept low to follow the path back to Site Twenty-Four, and without the usual roar of the engines the foliage sliding past outside the troop bay door seemed shadowy and unreal to Twilight.

“We need a way to make sure it doesn’t follow us back,” Fluttershy suggested at one point, “now that it knows where the town is…”

“We should come back with explosives when we’re done, here,” said Marigold “and destroy the trail.”

“Yeah.” was all Twilight said in reply. She was fairly certain that if she listened hard enough, she could hear rotors in the distance- no doubt flying last week’s patrol, or next week’s, it was impossible to tell. Since time became increasingly unstable the longer one remained stationary here, she wondered, idly; if she set up a permanent observation post in, say, the Great Solarium, would it allow her to eavesdrop on historical events?

Eventually, they touched down at the campsite. It was in a sorry state. Crates, canvas, and sections of chain-link fencing were scattered throughout the clearing, and little looked to be salvageable.

Rarity and Catseye leaped down to the leafy ground, followed by Twilight, levitating the Ursa’s bulk in between them. Marigold, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy brought up the rear. The beast’s whole body fit easily into the cavern mouth with room to spare- which was odd, since they’d seen it compress through spaces not much larger than its head. Other than the decapitated skeleton of some long-forgotten treasure hunter, there wasn't much to see.

After a few minutes of steady walking, the cave opened out into a broad, rocky-floored valley open to the sky above. That was confusing, as Twilight was fairly certain she’d’ve spotted such a feature during her aerial reconnaissance- although, on further examination, the ‘sky’ didn’t show any observable atmospheric distortion or cloud cover, so it had to be some other, unknown phenomenon.

Rarity gave a small, polite cough and asked, “So… Twilight… where do we put it?”

“I don’t know, anywhere is… probably as good as anywhere else…” The scholar continued deeper on into the… valley? Cave? She wasn’t entirely sure what to call it. Most of the equine remains in here appeared to belong to various types post-Lunar adventurers, which meant they were probably of low priority. Nonetheless, Twilight would have liked to bring them back to the Station for study, if she had the time- which she did not. A pity. However, against the very back wall, she thought she caught the glimmer of astral steel.

She spared a look behind her. The others were engaged in the process of setting the Ursa down as gently as they could manage; it settled slightly into the rocky floor, but otherwise remained where they’d put it. Then she trotted further back into the cave.

There were a pair of skeletons all jumbled together back there -or at least a pair of skulls, the rest of the bones were too scattered to easily count- still wrapped in the tattered remains of midnight-blue cloaks. They wore no armor and carried no obvious weapons, but not far off lay a crumbling leather satchel embroidered in white with the emblem of the crescent moon. As gently and carefully as she could, Twilight slid it towards her across the stony ground- the unlatched flap dropped open of its own accord, revealing several sheaves of parchment and a pair of leather-bound books. These proved to be in incredibly good condition, perfectly readable even in the dim light, and Twilight quickly fanned through the pages. One hoof-written volume in particular seemed dedicated to long-range summoning spells: Twilight could follow the unknown author’s notes as they diverged ever more from established First Century techniques, towards something that reminded her -just a little- of the spell Nightmare Moon had used to return to the Material Plane. Then, abruptly, the calculations ended, with a horrifically inefficient formula that might just have called something sizable down from the higher Firmament.

She trotted back towards the cave entrance, floating the satchel and notebooks along beside her. The others were already waiting for her.

“So, aren’t you gonna salute the Ursa before you go?” Pinkie Pie asked Capt Marigold. “I mean, it’s a major, after all…”

“What, am I supposed to salute drum majors too, now?” The Guard officer rolled her eyes. “C’mon, let’s just go.”

“Umm… actually…” Fluttershy raised a hoof. “That was just an Ursa Minor- a cub, in fact.”

Rainbow Dash flipped around in midair and peered back into the cave. “Wait, so, if that was an Ursa Minor, then what does an Ursa Major l-”

Up above, the whole night sky shifted. A starry, deep purple paw reached down to the cave floor, scooped up the sleeping cub, and carried it back upward to nestle against the Ursa Major’s ethereal belly.

The pegasus’s ears pulled downward and she began drifting back towards the cave entrance, keeping her eyes on the ‘sky’ the entire time. “Aw. Aw, Tartarus…”

“We should… probably leave,” Sgt Catseye suggested, speaking up for the first time since they’d left Ponyville.

“Yeah.” Marigold nodded, looking more than a little nervous, and then set off up the tunnel. Twilight followed, then Pinkie and Catseye, and finally Rarity and Fluttershy.

After a tense, brisk walk back up to the surface in absolute silence, Pinkie Pie spoke up again. “So… uhh… what happened to Trixie?”

Rainbow Dash rubbed a hoof under the chinguard of her helmet. “Well, I saw her running away from the Ursa when I was first starting to work on the water tower, and then… uhh… I dunno?”

They stepped out into the camp, where Palisade and Leafspring were waiting beside the Lapwing.

“Well, Trixie’s a magician, isn’t she?” the baker continued, “and I don’t think she, like, planned from the start to release an Ursa and have it go on a rampage and smash her wagon and almost kill her and also put the whole town in grave danger or anything… but, once it happened, you gotta agree, this whole thing made for a pretty good distraction, didn’t it?”

Twilight froze with one leg up on the Lapwing’s landing deck.

She was fairly certain she heard Capt Marigold quietly mutter “Ohhhh, shit.”

“Rainbow!” the scholar called out, “Grab my map and head back to Ponyville as quickly as you can. We’ll follow along as soon as we’re done here.”

---

Trixie Lulamoon prowled the hastily-constructed hallways of the Station. She knew she had to work quickly, now- the sounds of battle in town outside were already fading away, and that meant the time for subtlety was over. She charged through doors and rifled through desks and shelving units -Daycaller’s office, Verse’s office, processing rooms, storage rooms, whatever the ‘SELENITIC MATTER TEST LAB’ was supposed to be- stuffing anything that looked remotely valuable into the pockets of her cloak. She hadn’t known quite what she’d been expecting to find inside the building -Lunar zombies in cages, maybe, since she knew they kept bringing bodies in here and shipping them out in sealed metal boxes- but mostly it just contained ordinary surveying equipment, inscrutable laboratory instruments, a few magical baubles, and files, files, files.

Trixie grabbed them anyway. Paper was light, and her new cloak had quite a lot of storage space. Next, she made her way towards the door labeled ‘DR. TWILIGHT SPARKLE,’ jimmied the simple lock, and dashed inside. Her employers were very specific in requesting a set of notes that only Twilight had, which she’d supposedly recognize because they were written partially in Griffish. Trixie didn't need to search long, Twilight and her anal-retentive organizational skills made finding the right binder an easy task. She flipped it open, leafed through a few pages of unintelligible calculations, then stowed the whole thing under her cloak.

She was about a third of the way through the structure when she decided she’d had enough- partially because she couldn’t hear any more commotion outside, and partially just due to her instinct and sense of timing. She really did feel nervous sneaking around like this- she was a showmare, not a thief; and at best her payout would buy her a new wagon, and she'd break even. Nopony was supposed to get hurt, tonight or any other night, but Shutterfly’d had to go off and die, and the one interesting cave in the Everfree had turned out to have an Ursa inside, and things’d just gone right to Tartarus on a tea tray ever since. She’d just wanted to entertain ponies, and earn a living doing it. Was that really so much to ask?

She made her way to the empty hangar and slipped outside through the open doors, slinking on her belly in the tall grass that grew everywhere around the building.

Then she caught only the faintest glimpse of steel and sky blue fur, zipping along almost at ground level near the fence, before two hundred and fifty kilos of armor, weapons, and pissed-off pegasus slammed into her.

They both went rolling a meter or two, and when they slid to a stop Rainbow Dash was standing on top of her with both armored forehooves digging into Trixie’s chest. The showmare lashed out with her free right hoof and connected with Dash’s helmet, simultaneously hurling a blast of lightning through her horn; but in between the pegasus’s armor, and Trixie’s depleted mana, neither seemed to even attract any notice.

Rainbow, in turn, slammed a hoof up into Trixie’s chin, then brought it down again just in front of her horn. The showmare’s world started to spin, her vision briefly filling with stars, and her legs wouldn’t obey her properly anymore. So, she screamed, as loud and piteously as she could manage, in the hope that anypony else might hear and come running. All it got her was another jarring, armored backhoof across the muzzle, and a bloodthirsty grin from the pegasus.

With that, she went limp. It was over. She'd just outran a sentient cosmic force, and watched it figuratively and literally crush her life's work. Even if her employers could bail her out of this mess, it still wouldn't repair her reputation. If Dash just... kept punching her in the face until hooves touched grass, well, it couldn't be much worse than it already was. As her vision darkened, her lips peeled back into an involuntary smile.

---

Rainbow Dash glared down at the bloody, disheveled form of Trixie Lulamoon. Just a moment ago she’d been doing her level best to overpower the weathermare -which was a futile effort, since she was going up against Rainbow Dash, but still. Now she was just laying there, occasionally shuddering. She gave a nasty-sounding cough and sprayed bright red blood all over Dash’s chestplate, then flopped back down, a dopey grin spreading across her already-bruising face.

“Who’s ‘Great and Powerful’ now huh? Pa-thetic,” Dash demanded, in her best Sapphire: Equestrian Commando impression, but the words sounded hollow and her heart wasn’t in it. She pulled her fourth and final punch, although it was still hard enough to snap Trixie's head to the side and spray a line of blood out across the grass. Then she reached into her tactical webbing for a set of manacles, and set about binding the unconscious mare’s hooves together.

---

Twilight stepped off the Lapwing’s deck onto the muddy, rubble-strewn, and generally chaotic edge of Ponyville. Royal Guards, Night Guards, civilians and militiaponies alike ran this way and that, clearing away debris and dousing small fires, all overseen by a harried-looking Spike, Chamomile, and Mayor Mare.

Her fellow passengers stepped past Twilight and disappeared into the crowd, presumably to render aid in whatever means they felt best. She and Marigold headed over to Spike.

“Status report!” the captain barked.

“Uhh. Right.” The little dragon looked down at the clipboard he was holding and flipped over a few pages. “Well, there’s two buildings totally ruined, and Silver Spanner says that one cottage Vortex got punted into's gonna need a new roof, for sure… and then, of course, there’s what’s left of the water tower supports… Derpy’s up at the reservoir, and she says the pumps can just run continuously, at least for now. But without the tower's... ‘hydrostatic stabilization,’ she called it, we'll have choppy pressure spikes. Then, they'll have to take the pumps offline completely to check the engine crystals as soon as the tower's fixed. Then the road crews-”

Marigold cut him off. “I meant, what’s the condition of my ponies?”

“Shaken, but holding firm,” explained 1stSgt Chamomile. “Five seriously wounded. Phalanx Shield’s still in surgery, it was touch-and-go for a while but they’re pretty sure he’ll pull through. Capt Vortex’s pretty banged up, one of the other Shadowbolts tore a flight muscle, and Springtime and Bolero’re on concussion watch, but they’re all conscious and ambulatory.”

“And the civilians?”

“Well, Applejack got pretty roughed up when that wall came down on her-”

“Ah said, Ah'm fine!” the farmer shouted from halfway down the street.

“- and she had the worst of it. A couple scuffs and bruises here and there, but that’s all.”

The captain pressed a hoof against her armored chest, and nodded. “We got lucky, then. Good.”

“Yes, that’s certainly a relief…” Twilight cantered over to a rather shaken-looking Subtle Spark and Parhelion. Both were slumped against the remains of a collapsed wall, looking positively dejected. Parhelion’s head was wrapped in bandages, stained faintly red by a nasty cut just above her horn. “Now, can we maybe discuss just how in ruttin’ Tartarus this happened? Because, from where I’m standing, it looks very much like the monster you were specifically ordered to keep from waking up, ended up waking up.”

Both Guards turned to look at each other for a good second or two. Parhelion swallowed hard and turned back to Twilight, then made a wordless sort of “Errr” noise.

“Sundog left her post for a few seconds to… well, to take a leak,” Spark explained, “And while she was gone, I saw a distress flare that looked like it’d come from somewhere near Site Twenty-Two. I tried to call Sundog back, and when that didn’t work, I went to investigate.”

Parhelion nodded, looking somewhat confused. “That’s what he said he did… I musta’ been, what, ten meters away, and I didn’t hear jack shit. Didn’t see the flare, either. Blame the damn forest if you gotta blame something…”

The stallion beside her nodded. “That must’ve been when she- when Trixie- slipped behind us. We found her in the cave, and tried to coax her out quietly…”

Parhelion grinned- or grimaced, rather- and continued, “But the Grrrreat and Powerful Trixie does whatever the rut she wants.”

“Yeah,” Sparky rolled his eyes, “She started shouting, and then the Ursa woke up, and then we pretty much had to run for our lives.”

“When I started this investigation, I was led to believe that I would be given a professional security staff-” Twilight began, but then Capt Marigold stepped in between her and the Guards.

“Doc, it’s really not their fault. If you wanted better security, it might’ve been a good idea to let me pull patrols away from Froggy Bottom Bog, and enlist some of the Ponyville Militia to guard less critical targets like the sensor equipment at the Station and the Cairn. I sent you a report just yesterday warning that two Guards per site wouldn’t be enough because precisely this kinda’ situation could happen. My ponies did the best they could with the cards they’d been dealt.”

Very briefly, Twilight considered some kind of retort, but decided against it. “Fine,” she finally said, and turned away. “I’ll leave it to the captain to enforce any disciplinary action she deems appropriate. Spike, see if you can work with her to put together a list of sites in the Bog that we can assign to the Militia, or completely close down,” Then she peered down at her own damp, muddy forelegs. “And… when we get back to the library, I’ll play you a game of hooves-horns-wings for the shower.” After that, she looked back up, and realized that the sky was already starting to grow distinctly lighter towards the west. “Oh, for Celestia's sake! I don’t know if I should try to get some sleep, still, or just go ahead and start my day…”

“Hey. Hey!” she heard Rainbow Dash call out. She wheeled around, as did several of the nearby troops, to find the weathermare striding towards them, breathing heavily. She dragged an unconscious Trixie Lulamoon along behind her, with the chain of a set of manacles held in her teeth.

“Well, this makes me feel better!” Twilight sighed as she, the dragon, and Capt Marigold all trotted over.

“I caught her tryin’ to get away from the Station with a bunch of you guys’s stuff,” the pegasus explained.

From off to one side, Pinkie Pie leaned into Twilight’s vision at a disorientingly flat angle. “So, what you’re saying is, the Ursa ruse...”

“Pinkie, stop!”

The baker grinned like a schoolfilly. “… was a distaction?”

Twilight just shook her head. “Oh sun dammit.”

Marigold gestured at Trixie with her right hoof, and Cpl Aqua dashed over to begin giving the unconscious showmare a thorough pat-down. Very quickly she exposed an eclectic trove of pilfered items: a hoofful of Lunar talismans, dozens of none-too-neat wads of papers stamped with the Royal Academy seal, somepony's skull, and- to Twilight's shock- her entire binder full of Gordon's notes.

“What in-” Twilight stammered, “Those were in my office!”

Only when the Guard was nearly finished did Trixie groan and open her eyes. Immediately, her gaze fixed on Twilight; she snarled, coughed, and then sneezed a gout of bloody phlegm onto the scholar’s chest.

Spike staggered back a half-step and muttered, “Actually, never mind, you can go ahead and have the shower.”

Twilight grinned, forcing herself to ignore the warm slime dripping down her forelegs. “Hello, Trixie…”

“Awwwwww… Rut you... bitch…” growled the showmare.

“Sorry,” Twilight hissed, “You’re not my type.”

“So… what is your ‘type’,” asked a rather confused-looking Rainbow Dash.

Reflexively, Twilight brought her hoof up to massage the base of her horn, and barely stopped herself from smearing mud across her face. “Ugh… Now's not the time, Dash.” She turned back to Capt Marigold, and waved to the Mayor as well. “So, do you think we can finally hold her on something?”

“Well, let me see here,” the Mayor trotted over, adjusting her somewhat disheveled neckerchief. “Trespassing, fraud, grand larceny, reckless endangerment,” she waved out at the continuing chaos, “and quite a lot of property damage… yes, I think we can put together a list of charges that the District Solicitor up in Canterlot might be interested in… oh, yes, and breaking and entering, too, I suppose.”

“Of course,” the scholar continued, “I might be convinced to speak up on your behalf if you would just tell us what this was all about…”

With some difficulty, Trixie climbed back up onto all four hooves. She seemed to gather herself, but her left eye was twitching wildly underneath its swollen lid. “I really am just a showmare, actually, a performer who’s been paid to… well, put on quite the show, it turned out!”

“Oh, really. Who hired you? What’s your agenda?” Twilight demanded, unconvinced.

“I don’t have an agenda, and you hired me,” Trixie replied, sounding almost proud, “But I know my rights. The Great and Powerful Trixie is done talking.”

“Is that so?” Twilight tossed her mane and turned, as if to leave, “If you really are done talking, I’m sure Princess Luna and her mages can get some answers from you…” In fact, the scholar wasn’t entirely sure if Luna could extract that kind of information, much less if she’d be willing to, or if her findings would even be admissible... but Trixie didn’t necessarily know that.

“Oh, you mean like you ‘questioned’ Shutterfly?” the showmare demanded.

Well, so much for Trixie not calling my bluff… but it’s certainly interesting that she knows Shutterfly by name. “Marigold, Chamomile, can you please just deal with this for a while?” was all the scholar said aloud. “It’s too late -too early in the morning? I don’t even know anymore- for this nonsense right now…” she turned and began walking along the edge of town towards the gully that held the remains of Trixie’s wagon. “As for this… Spike? Go ahead and grab Amethyst, and Aqua Regia and Rarity. See if you can track down Dr. Daycaller, too, and have him bring the scanner equipment from the Cairn. I want that wagon turned inside-out and upside-down…”

Comments

[Carnifaxy]

Dang, Trixie, you gotta ease up. It's not Twilight's fault you decided to do some crime as a side gig.

[Comickook]

VERY good job on this chapter. Again, the exchanges, characterizations, action and future story set-up are all well done in all the right places. Certainly enjoyed the teamwork that went into stopping the Ursa after Twilight came up with the plan as well as appreciating how surprisingly mild the injuries were compared to what they COULD have been. And Trixie got busted by Rainbow while she was trying to complete the assignment she was hired to do. And, yeah, she continues to refuse to talk, even if she knows she would probably get a much lighter sentence if she did talk (which, of course, goes to show just how dangerous the ones who hired Trixie are if she is deciding a long prison sentence is better than angering her bosses).

Certainly looking forward to more of your work in this series in general.

[Arzoo]

I'm kind of surprised Trixie was solely motivated by money here. The show kind of moved her in the direction of being attracted to power as her motivation, and while I could believe fame is a goal for her, being a showpony doesn't strike me as a job you take expecting to get rich. She really thought she could wriggle out of legal problems enough to have a public career?

Does make me wonder how they hired her. She doesn't think of herself as a thief, yet she was clearly hired by the conspiracy to be one.

The song was very cool, though I'm unclear on why Twilight's nose was bleeding if everyone was able to contribute? Was she channeling some underlying powerful magic that was making it possible for everyone to perform the song?

[Serketry]

11176463
In essence, yes: Twilight's telekinesis covered the whole lake, and allowed the others' telekinesis fields to add in on top of hers. Also, it was only a drop of blood, she didn't suffer a ruptured aneurism or anything.
As for how Trixie was hired, she said she needed money, not that she was looking to get rich.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Under her breath, Twilight thanked her parents for her years of piano lessons as she levitated a short roll of parchment over to the tailor.

The question is whether there's a piano in her old Canterlot apartment in need of a long walk off a short balcony...

“So, what you’re saying is, the Ursa ruse...”
“Pinkie, stop!”
The baker grinned like a schoolfilly. “… was a distaction?”

I have numerous, deeply concerning questions about the local existence of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff.

[nlinzer]

Who’s ‘Great and Powerful’ now huh? Pa-thetic,” Dash demanded, in her best Sapphire: Equestrian Commando impression, but the words sounded hollow and her heart wasn’t in it. She pulled her fourth and final punch, although it was still hard enough to snap Trixie's head to the side and spray a line of blood out across the grass.

What the actual fuck Dash? This should disqualify her from being a guard. Beating a defenseless person because it makes you feel better. Yes Trixie wronged you and everyone badly but this is just attacking her because you hate her. Self-control! What the actual fuck! This is horrifying and yes evil. Also the spray of blood? What if she got brain damage from your voilent anger. No Rainbow should be barred from everything until she learns to control her anger.

[nlinzer]

Intresting how EC Twilight isn't a demigod who can defeat everything save Godly beings. It feels very strange, but I like it. I don't nessacrily like it for all versions of Twi but seeing how Twilight can still be Twilight without insane powers is a intresting and cool idea and fun to explore. Plus it makes Equestrian monsters more threatening. And of course Twi is still Purple Book Horse, powers is not a person.