Shaking Off Bad Memories

by EileenSaysHi

Monday Blues

Author's Note:

Quick note: If you haven't read the original "Late-Night Conversations" story since it was originally posted in November 2021, keep in mind a significant epilogue chapter was added in February.

Narrative Background/Recap: It’s been just over a year since Forgotten Friendship. Sunset has been experiencing nightmares about the events of the special, admitting to Rarity she resents Wallflower. Today is the last day before graduation that they’ll have to be in the same room together; with Rarity’s encouragement, Sunset has decided to make it count.

It wasn't unusual to see Wallflower Blush walking to school. She lived just down the block from campus, after all; while she had a driver's license, it would've been pointless to take a car over, even on a sweltering near-summer day like today. For a long time, it had meant that she could stay in the school garden—her home away from home—for long periods after hours without raising much skepticism, since security rarely checked in on it and she could be home in mere minutes if her family got concerned where she was. She'd once told Roseluck how, the previous year, she'd often snuck out at night to relax there, even falling asleep one time, which made for an awkward moment when she stumbled into the house the next morning, covered in dirt and being discovered by her alarmed mother.

(More somberly, she'd noted her mother had no recollection of such an incident ever occurring.)

So it didn't strike Roseluck, glancing through the window slat at the back exit door, as odd when she saw Wallflower emerge from the garden path that morning, walking up to the gap in the gate behind the back parking lot. What was unusual, though, was her posture. She looked slumped, as though her backpack, which didn't appear unusually large, was filled with bricks and throwing her off-kilter. She'd stopped at the fence and was now leaning against it. Roseluck looked closer. Wallflower's eyes were looking downward, but she wasn't staring blankly. She was focusing on a spot on the asphalt in front of her.

Worried Wallflower might be getting a bit of heat exhaustion, Roseluck abruptly stepped away from her other friends, Muffins and Raspberry Fluff, and pushed the door open. "Wallflower!", she shouted, which seemed to snap the green girl out of her stupor. "Are you okay?"

Wallflower darted forward, slipping deftly between the parked cars as she made her way to the building. "I'm fine!" she called. "Sorry!"

"Sorry for what?" Roseluck asked as Wallflower made it to the door, panting a bit. "I'm the one who should be apologizing—I wasn't trying to get you to run when it's already this hot out."

"Oh, it's fine," Wallflower replied sheepishly they stepped inside, Roseluck letting the door close behind them. "I guess I just need a moment out there. Nothing to worry about."

"A moment?" Roseluck asked, tilting her head slightly. "How come?"

"Nothing," Wallflower said, surprisingly forceful in her tone. She disengaged from that line of discussion by turning to Muffins and Raspberry and greeting them. Roseluck wasn't amused.

"How was your weekend?", Raspberry asked Wallflower.

"It was okay, mostly studying and stuff. But hey, last week of high school, right?" The two girls, joined by Muffins, threw their arms in the air excitedly, Wallflower's right accidentally knocking into Bulk Biceps as he walked behind them. "Oops, sorry Bulk."

"Aw, no worries, Wallflower." He looked up and waved to Muffins, who excitedly waved back before the musclebound student carried on towards class.

"I still can't believe you two are going to prom together!" Raspberry nudged Muffins as the grey girl blushed and gestured an expression agreeing with her sentiment. She turned back to Wallflower. "Did you ever ask anyone?"

"No, I... didn't feel up to it. I'm not feeling very excited about dating right now, even just for this. But we'll all see each other there, right?"

Raspberry nodded as Muffins and Roseluck put a hand on Wallflower's shoulder. "Of course we will, Wallflower," Roseluck replied.

"And hey, y'know, it wasn't that long ago that I wouldn't have even had you girls there to look forward to. So, I mean..." Wallflower's smile faded, her eyes drifting to Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash walking past them out of the corner of her eye. "I just feel..."

"Wallflower?" Roseluck asked, as Wallflower appeared lost in thought.

"I gotta go. I've got my big calc exam in four minutes. I'll see you later!"

"Wallflower, the bell hasn't rung yet…" Roseluck trailed off as Wallflower tore away from them toward class. She sighed, dissatisfied, as she, Raspberry and Muffins dispersed to head for their own first-period rooms.

---

Being finals week, each of the last two days of class were extended-period days, with Wallflower having her odd-numbered classes on Monday and even-numbered on Tuesday. That had meant she'd gotten to kick the day off bright and early with her extra-long calculus final, the studying for which had taken up a good chunk of her weekend. It had paid off, though—she felt reasonably confident in her performance. She even found herself a bit disappointed as the bell rang for third period, not especially excited to get up and leave.

She'd rather take a second calc exam than go to third period.

Ironically, Wallflower had been the one to push for a move into third period government at the start of the semester. She'd initially had it at sixth period, but when she learned a special half-year earth sciences elective was being offered at that time only, she'd petitioned the principal's office to drop her original third period elective and move government to that time. In her excitement, she hadn't thought to check who any of her new classmates might be, and so it came as a nasty shock on her first day when she turned the corner and blundered right into Sunset Shimmer, quite literally, knocking them both to the floor (again).

And things had only gotten more uncomfortable from there.

To be a student at Canterlot High meant to be surrounded by the image of Sunset and her celebrity friends, even if they continued to act as though they were ordinary students. And for the senior class in particular, it usually meant you were in class with at least one of them. Wallflower shared calculus with Fluttershy, literature with Rarity, regular physics with Rainbow Dash and home economics with Applejack and Pinkie Pie; even her earth science elective had Twilight Sparkle. And having Sunset in government gave her the complete set of seven, leaving only one class, pottery, Rainboom-free, as well as lunch.

With the destruction of the Memory Stone now a year in the past, her relationships with the six girls she'd made into her targets were... not the strongest. They were civil, to be certain, and Wallflower remained grateful that they'd kept the details of why the entire school had inexplicably forgotten the redemption of Sunset Shimmer for three days vague (Wallflower had only opened up to Roseluck and Muffins about exactly what happened). But they interacted infrequently, and the forced politeness in those interactions often had the effect of leaving Wallflower feeling infantilized. Rarity was the only one she felt treated her like a functioning human being; they'd developed a more organic acquaintanceship, though discomfort could quickly ensue if the topic of discussion led Rarity to an anecdote involving her core friends.

Sunset, though...

Nominally, she and Sunset engaged with each other on a relatively frequent basis. Government was a class that necessitated a lot of group projects, such as political campaign simulations, mock court sessions and more; even if the two were assigned to separate teams, they would usually have to interact at some point. Once, they'd been selected to work with each other on a partner quiz, and they'd done so while acting perfectly civil and reasonable. A stranger watching from the outside would never suspect they had a history beyond "schoolmates".

That stranger could not have been more wrong.

With no assigned seating in class, Wallflower did everything she could to avoid sitting too close to Sunset, who would usually sit next to Trixie; since Trixie was usually the first of the three to reach class each day, Wallflower had started studying her seating habits to help keep her distance. When they did have to interact, Sunset and Wallflower would generally both speak as though they were addressing a casual acquaintance they hadn't kept in touch with, filled with false positivity and vague allusions to "catching up sometime." Wallflower would often spy a hint of nervousness in Sunset's voice, while usually missing the resignation audible in her own.

She hates me, she would think. She despises me, she can't stand the sight of me. And why shouldn't she?

And so the two of them had silently decided to simply run out the clock on their obligatory relationship, waiting for graduation to sever their ties for good.

Until today.

Wallflower had first picked up on something odd with Sunset during class. Exams had been held the previous week, so for this prolonged period, they were simply getting to watch a classic civics-themed movie. Midway through, out of the corner of her eye, Wallflower noticed Sunset wasn't watching the film. She was staring directly at her.

Wallflower rubbed her eyes and turned her head. Sunset was now looking at the movie, focused intently. Wallflower shifted back to the screen. Was that real?

She would get her answer just half an hour later, as she left the classroom to head to pottery, when she heard a familiar voice exclaim "Wallflower, stop!"

Her blood froze as she recalled the last time she'd heard those exact words. She turned around to find Sunset standing directly behind her. "Sunset Shimmer?"

"Wallflower, I... I wanted to ask if you had some free time after yearbook today. I wanted... I was hoping we could talk. Just for a bit."

"A-about what?" Wallflower stammered. She could see the gears in Sunset's head turn as the redhead tried to figure out how exactly to answer that question.

"Just... something important."

"Oh..." Wallflower replied, knowingly. The truth was she'd secretly wanted to ask Sunset for this opportunity as well, though she couldn't have imagined she'd ever find the courage to do so, terrified of the shame that would ensue when Sunset told her No and removed all ambiguity from their status. "I... I guess so. I can stay. I-I-I'll see you then."

She turned and walked away as fast as she could before Sunset could reply.

---

"So you're staying after yearbook to talk to her?" Roseluck asked.

It was lunch. Wallflower, Roseluck and Muffins were all quick eaters (Raspberry didn't share their lunch period), so they'd gone out into the garden for the rest of the time, Wallflower being concerned that the plants weren't getting enough water in the heat. After a good few minutes of watering, though, they were getting a bit too warm themselves in the early afternoon sun and were headed back across the parking lot.

"Yeah," Wallflower sighed. "I don't really know what exactly she wants to say. I don't know if she wants to try being nice to me again, or make some kind of friendship speech like she does, or if she just wants to scream at me. I'd probably just scream at me."

"Wallflower..."

"It's her right. There's no horrible thing she can say about me that I can defend against. What I did..." They passed the spot where, one year earlier, Sunset Shimmer had collapsed onto the ground, drained of years of memory, and begged for help on all fours as Wallflower watched. She stopped and stared mournfully. Muffins came up from behind and hugged her, joined by Roseluck, as tears started to slip down Wallflower's face.

"It was wrong, yes." Roseluck replied. "But you know that already. Sunset knows you know that. We know how you can be around her, but I don't think she genuinely believes you're still that person anymore. She's not the kind of person to kick someone while they're down."

Wallflower sniffled. "Not like me..."

"Wallflower," Roseluck replied much more sternly as the hug broke apart. "Listen to me. I know talking to someone you have a bad history with can be upsetting, maybe even scary. But you owe it to yourself, and to her, to be strong. Don't just sit there and feel sorry for yourself; you won't get anywhere that way. If you're genuinely afraid Sunset doesn't remember how much you've changed, remind her. Show her the new you. The you that we've gotten to know this past year."

Wallflower felt a chill down her spine, even as beads of sweat began to run alongside the teardrops. "But that new me... it wouldn’t exist if it wasn’t for what I did to her. Everything about who I am now is because of what happened." She hung her head in shame. "And she knows it."

"You’re not being fair to yourself! You can’t define yourself forever by something like that! Think about who Sunset used to be! Think of what she had to build herself back from! Do you really think she can’t understand what it’s like to want a do-over for who you are?"

Muffins mimed playing a guitar. "Great point," Roseluck added, "she literally made a whole song about exactly that!"

Wallflower swallowed. There were counterarguments she could make, but she didn’t want to drag this out. "I hope you’re right," she sighed.

As they reached the door, Muffins patted her on the head. "You'll do great," she whispered.

"Thanks, I... I’ll try. I’ll really try."

Comments

[ScisetShimmerEvan]

"Wallflower, the bell hasn't rung yet…" Roseluck trailed off as Wallflower tore away from them toward class. She sighed, dissatisfied, as she, Raspberry and Muffins dispersed to head for their own first-period rooms.

Just leave her be.

She hates me, she would think. She despises me, she can't stand the sight of me. And why shouldn't she?

I feel the same about you as well.

Muffins mimed playing a guitar. "Great point," Roseluck added, "she literally made a whole song about exactly that !"

That's a damn good one!

[gapty]

As they reached the door, Muffins patted her on the head. "You'll do great," she whispered.

Muffins, the patter of sad souls.

Now I'm kind of interested how these three girls came to be friends, but there won't be probably an extra fic for this. Nice start of the sequel

[Bicyclette]

(More somberly, she'd noted her mother had no recollection of such an incident ever occurring.)

oof! but yeah, i’d’ve been tempted to do the same at her age lol

Rarity was the only one she felt treated her like a functioning human being; they'd developed a more organic acquaintanceship, though discomfort could quickly ensue if the topic of discussion led Rarity to an anecdote involving her core friends.

oof that is quite some discomfort!

Muffins mimed playing a guitar. "Great point," Roseluck added, "she literally made a whole song about exactly that!"

hehe, very useful that the characters express their character developments in song form