Professional's Standards

by KAMAKAZE

Adventures of the RED team

Meanwhile, in 2Fort, at 5:00 PM

"Get on ze point! Get on ze point! GET ON ZE POINT DUMMKOPFS!"

"Geez, doc! Give us a break!"

"And there ain't no point here. Your thinking of the last mission in Dustbowl."

"You are right. I guess zat vas unnecessary."

"Anyway, we need to go get that intel. Those BLUs are going to leave us in ze dust if we don't."

The Spy, Medic, Scout and Engineer were discussing their battle plans since the Sniper had disappeared. The Demoman and Soldier were talking about the latest episode of "Grenades and Rockets" and the upcoming Gun Show. Pyro was roasting marshmallows and Heavy was making a Sandvich. Oh, and they were all in their base, with all possible entrances boarded up.

Then the alarms went off.

"The enemy has stolen our intelligence!"

Then the front entrance blew up.

And the enemy Engineer ran out of the base, carrying the intelligence.

"Oh man. I can't believe how stupid you all are!"

"I can't believe ve let a man of science steal ze papers!"

"Wait.... Soldier, did ya board up the Sniper's usual spot?"

"Oops."

"SOLDIER!!!"Screamed everybody else.

Then they all ran out, chased the Engineer, then killed him.

Before being killed by a Spy.

Who captured the intelligence...

And caused the RED team to lose that day.

Another day, at Viaduct

"Need a dispenser here! Need a dispenser here! Need a dispenser here!"

The Scout was running around, bugging the Engineer as usual. Engineer, however, just ignored him and tried to look for a good place to make an "Engineer Nest".

An Engineer Nest is like a bird nest. There is the mother and her babies in a safe place.

In this case, it's an Engineer and his buildings:

A Sentry:

(Need) A Dispenser (Here!):

And A Teleporter (Entrance or Exit):

Anyway, Engineer decided to annoy Scout back, so he didn't build a dispenser.

But the plan backfired, and Scout carried on asking Engineer for a dispenser.

And Engineer gave up and said

"Nope."

Then the BLU team came into sight. The Sentries started shooting, the Miniguns started shredding through people and the explosive-related weapons started blowing up anything that looked like a BLU member.

Which is why the Sentries got sapped, the Medics and Demomen and Soldiers got backstabbed and the whole plan went to waste.

So RED, yet again, lost.

The next week, at Well (Capture Points)

"Let's go, mag-"

"What? Dude, you know we're gonna lose. Just face the facts."

"Scout's right. Ya can't go runnin' around just shooting everything BLU. That's just gonna end up with you missing every shot, and us getting killed. We need a proper plan this time."

"The small lad's right. Ya gotta think of a plan. Use it. If anything goes wrong, just remember to keep a backup plan."

"Wow... all right. I got a backup plan for you ladies. If anything goes wrong in the main plan, I will use my Buff Banner to keep us going, and the Spy will be in enemy lines, as he always is, only he will just sneak around to find out the enemy plans, then he will return to us, tell us the enemy plans, then we find a way to counter it."

"That's... actually pretty good, Solly. Let's go and use that as the main plan, and the backup plan will be... I dunno, we go make it seem like we are running away, then when they least suspect it, we ambush them."

"Pretty good, if ya ask me."

"Let's go!"

And RED managed to... well... almost win. They ended up having to use the backup plan, but the BLUs knew what they were doing, because of a Spy, and they won.

Badwater Basin

"Pyro, you need to start Spy-Checking."

"Mph mphity mph."

"Seriously."

"Hudda hudda huh."

"That's great."

"Mph MPHHH!!!!!!"

"SPY!"

"I AM FULLY CHARGED!!!"

"CHARGE ME DOCTOR!!!"

"CHARGE ACTIVATED!"

"HAHAHAHA! I AM BULL-"

Comments

[Tadpole]

'hl2.exe has stopped working' never fails to amuse me.

[KAMAKAZE]

I'm planning a sequel to this called "Game Over" too.