The Chocolate Job

by GTthe4th

The Plan

The sunlight streamed through the open window and fell upon the sleeping face of the mare in the bed underneath it, and she hissed and threw the blankets over her face. Still the morning was persistent, and a rooster crowed outside the window. The mare growled and clutched at the covers tighter.

Then the alarm clock, ever faithful and true, performed its sole duty with as much grace as its mechanical heart could muster: as loudly and obnoxiously as possible.

The mare roared, and precisely three microseconds later, yet another soldier of the Third Alarm Clock Brigade had joined its fallen comrades in the garbage bin in the corner of the room. Still, it had done its duty admirably, and the Princess of Grumps had been awoken from her slumber.

Throwing off the covers and letting out a long sigh, Starlight Glimmer arose and glared at the sun out the window (before quickly realizing this was a bad idea and hiding her eyes). Celestia seemed determined to kill her today, so rather than give her the satisfaction, she closed the curtains, let out an elated snicker at her genius, and slipped back under the covers.

The door to the room burst open, and Spike’s charming, boyish voice sang out, “Good morning, Starlight!”

“I CAN’T WIN!” Starlight screamed into her pillow, before throwing it at him.

Spike ducked without missing a beat or losing his smile, stepping into the room with a mug of coffee held in his claws. “A case of the Mondays, I gotcha,” he said cheerfully, placing the mug on the night table. “Sorry about this, but Twilight wants you downstairs as soon as you’re ready.”

Starlight groaned as she lit up her horn, the mug floating towards her lips. “If it’s not Chrysalis invading Equestria again, Tirek blowing up a mountain, or the Storm King coming back from the dead, I don’t want to hear it. I told her three days ago that today was going to be my day off from world-ending catastrophes.”

“Relax, Starlight, it’s not that bad, she just needs you to run an errand for her this morning.”

“Why not just send you?” Starlight asked, sipping at the coffee.

“Because I’ll be doing a deep-clean of the library today, and considering its state after last night’s study session, it’s gonna take me at least the entire day. When Twilight goes wild with her theorizing on metaphysics, she really goes wild,” Spike replied, before noticing how dark the room was. “Jeez Starlight, it’s a beautiful day, get some light in here for once.” With a swift, practiced motion, he swept the curtains open, letting Celestia’s sun once again strike the mare in the face like a tungsten hammer to a gelatin anvil.

Starlight hissed again and covered her eyes with a hoof, glaring down at Spike in righteous fury.

Spike, to his credit, took her anger in stride and whistled a merry tune as he began walking out of the room. “Oh, and watch your step this morning,” he called over his shoulder as he disappeared down the hall.

Muttering dark, arcane curses under her breath in the Unspeakable Tongue, Starlight drained the last of her mug and trotted over to the room’s adjoining bathroom to start her morning routine. Wash face, brush mane, brush teeth, polish horn, and bleach eyes.

She admittedly added that last part only to spite Celestia’s sun today.

A few moments later, she returned to the room a rejuvenated (if still annoyed) mare, and quickly got to work in making her bed and getting ready for the rest of the day. Depending on how important it was, Twilight’s errand was going to put some of her own plans with Trixie on hold, but she was hopeful that her magician friend would understand.

Then again, it was Trixie.

Starlight sighed again, this time in resignation of her well-deserved, predictable fate.

---

The first thing Starlight noticed about the castle foyer was how busy it was this morning. Normally at such an early hour Ponies would still be waking up, but today about a dozen of them were roaming about the castle, carrying crates and pushing carts down the halls. Even a makeshift crane had been installed to lift up the heavier objects when a Unicorn wasn’t available.

And in the center of it all was Pinkie Pie, of all Ponies, wearing a yellow hard hat and directing the workers like a foremare, clipboard in hoof.

“A little to the left…no, MY left, silly! Rivet, that crate doesn’t go there, it goes over here! Careful with that one, Camshaft, that’s some very delicate machinery you’re carrying there. Carry it like you carry your sister…in, um, buckball! Yeah, buckball, we’ll go with that,” Pinkie was shouting over the din, zipping from Pony to Pony without breaking a sweat or stopping to catch a breath. “Hi Starlight!” she said as she galloped past the stunned Unicorn.

Starlight’s horn lit up, and her magic pulled the still-galloping Pinkie back by the tail until she was running in place in front of her. Pinkie looked down at her hooves, wondering why she wasn’t going anywhere, before glancing at Starlight with an innocent smile. “Yes Starlight?”

“What…is going on?” Starlight asked slowly, looking over the busy foyer in confusion.

“We’re preparing defenses, silly!” Pinkie replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Defenses,” Starlight echoed, blinking. “Here. In the Castle of Friendship.”

“Yup!”

“...Dare I ask why?”

“Twilight has a very important package coming today, and she’s worried that somepony might steal it, so the other day she ordered a whole lot of modified party cannons from yours truly, and we’re installing them now.”

“Aren’t you a baker?”

“Baking’s just my day job.”

Wisely deciding she wasn’t even going to touch that one, Starlight looked over at the sheer amount of crates stacked in the foyer and raised an eyebrow. “So, what is in this package that she’s packing enough heat to level half of Equestria faster than Tirek on a magic high?”

Pinkie shrugged and smiled wider. “Sorry, can’t give it away. She made me Pinkie Promise not to tell anypony, and I ain’t gonna go back on my word, no ma’am!” Whipping her head around to the left, she hollered, “Valve Spinner, not--!”

A loud explosion sounded throughout the castle, and a Pony fell from the overhead railing and landed on one of his coworkers with a muffled yelp and a thump, small bits of crystal and wood showering them all.

“...There,” Pinkie finished lamely. “I knew I should’ve told him that the explosive confetti proximity mines were a liiiiiittle finicky when being installed, especially near stairs. Not lethal, but definitely surprising. Oopsie!”

Starlight sent her a long, drawn-out stare.

“Oh yeah, I didn’t mention those, did I?”

“Nope.”

“Well, she ordered those too. I don’t know why.”

“Just…tell me where she is right now,” Starlight sighed, rubbing her temples. By Celestia, she was already reaching her insanity limit for the day.

Pinkie nodded over to the main hall. “Throne room, she’s directing operations there. And speaking of directing, I need to get back to work, soooo seeya later!” Before Starlight could say anything more, Pinkie vanished with a puff of pink smoke, dashing off to parts unknown.

Starlight rolled her eyes skyward and prayed for strength, before trotting past all the workers towards the main hall. Behind her, a party cannon went off in an Earth Pony’s face, sending her flying out a window with a startled squeak from the sudden rush of air, much to the merriment of her coworkers.

---

Starlight entered the throne room, fully expecting it to be covered floor to ceiling in cannons or hard-at-work Ponies. What she didn’t expect was the massive bubble shield surrounding the Cutie Map, or the laser security system being installed, or the fact that Twilight was dressed in hazmat garb. Several cameras had been strung up in the tree root chandelier on the ceiling, all of them aimed at the entrances, windows, and table.

Starlight raised a hoof, a mistake as it turned out, as it went through one of the lasers. Instantly the room sprung into activity, as several panels slid down in the walls and revealed cannons and Ponies, all aiming directly at her. After a moment, she sat back and raised her other forehoof with a roll of her eyes.

“Relax, guys, it’s just Starlight,” Twilight sang happily, her horn flashing under her helmet. The lasers turned off, and the Ponies returned to their hiding places with their cannons.

“Twilight, what are you doing?” Starlight demanded, stepping over to her. “You know this is my day off, right? Why do you insist on doing these things at the worst possible times?”

“I’m sorry, Starlight, I really am,” Twilight said, removing her helmet and hugging Starlight with one hoof. “But this couldn’t wait.”

“What couldn’t wait?”

“These,” Twilight replied, motioning to the Cutie Map with a wing. A box, hidden under an invisibility spell, revealed itself.

It was a box of chocolates.

Starlight stared. Then she blinked. Then she rubbed her eyes and stared again. The box was still there. “You’ve got to be kidding…”

“I’m approximately twenty percent more serious than when I told you that you could be my student.”

“All this, all of the cannons, all the secrecy, the beefed-up security, the land mines…all for a box of chocolates?!” Starlight squeaked out, her jaw dropping.

“Not just any chocolates, Starlight,” Twilight said. “Germane chocolates.”

“I don’t care if they were…wait…did you say…Germane chocolates?”

Twilight nodded, and a smile grew on her lips. It would have been endearing had it not been also for the loose hairs sticking out from her mane, giving her an unhinged look. “And not just any Germane chocolates. These are home-made, hoof-crafted, custom-designed, very expensive chocolates, the ones that aren’t normally available to the public. Celestia and Cadance shared their provider with me a couple years ago.”

With every word Starlight’s jaw dropped lower, and her tail began wagging. “C-can I…?”

“Nope.”

The light left Starlight’s eyes, and her beating heart froze at the cool and refreshing temperature of negative ten thousand degrees, shattering it instantly. She flopped to the floor and stared at Twilight with pleading eyes. “But why?”

“Because every time I order these particular chocolates, somepony keeps stealing them!” Twilight replied with indignation, quickly hiding the box under a new invisibility spell. “For two years, I have not been able to taste them, and Celestia has told me that Ponies have even fought wars over their taste, which is why it’s only available for royalty these days. She’s told me that to eat all twenty is one of the rarest things a Pony can do in her life, and that the exquisite burst of flavor in your mouth is like liquid Elysium, which means that somepony out there has been feasting while I have to settle for factory-made muck! But tonight is gonna be different. Tonight, at midnight exactly, I will finally have what has been denied to me for years! Nopony is gonna steal this batch! Not now, not ever, HAHAHAHAAAA!”

“You’re doing your whole mad scientist thing again.”

“I don’t care, HAHAHA!”

Starlight sighed and rose to her hooves once more. “Fine, be selfish for one day, whatever. Why did you call me down here, though?”

“HAHAHAH--hmm? Oh, um, right, that.” Twilight fluttered over to Fluttershy’s throne and lifted up a package with her magic. “I need you to run a few errands for me today. Just for today, I promise you can have tomorrow off.”

“But tomorrow Trixie’s going to a show in Baltimare, I can’t wait another day!”

To her credit, Twilight paused and did look a little guilty at that declaration. “Oh, that’s…bad timing. I’m sorry.”

“It’s very bad timing. I won’t be able to see Trixie for weeks, and we had planned this day since last Friday. Can’t you have somepony else do this?”

Twilight sighed, looking at the ground. “I’m sorry Starlight, but it has to be you.”

“Why?!”

“Because the Pony who wants this package is in one of the alternate timelines you created.”

Starlight’s jaw dropped again. “Excuse me?”

“It’s Princess Luna…erm, Nightmare Moon, I guess,” Twilight explained with a blush. “She contacted me a few months ago, and said she needed my help with--”

Starlight raised a hoof. “Gonna stop you right there.”

“It’s all perfectly legal and for a good cause, I swear!”

“I’ll do it.”

Twilight’s eyes lit up. “You will?!”

“Yes, because you’re my friend and I owe you one for that whole time travel debacle,” Starlight said. “On one condition.”

“Anything!” Twilight cried, before backtracking, “Well, besides the chocolates, that is.”

“If you’re ever crowned the ruler of Equestria, Trixie and I get to keep the castle.”

“What, is that it?” Twilight exclaimed. “Deal! Besides, what’s the chance of that ever happening?”

Pinkie, who was passing by the throne room on her way to the kitchen, poked her head inside and stared at Twilight and Starlight when she heard Twilight’s exclamation. The Alicorn and Unicorn stared back. Pinkie blinked, stuffed a hoof in her mane, and pulled out a clipboard. Flipping a page over, with the title reading “script”, her eyes darted over the words before she giggled and returned to work.

Starlight and Twilight looked at each other, and Starlight shrugged. “Pinkie Pie.”

“Pinkie Pie,” Twilight agreed, shaking her head.

Starlight trotted over to the exit, the package hovering behind her. Just before she left, however, she turned around and asked, “By the way, why the suit?”

“Hm? Oh, this.” Twilight tugged at the suit’s neck and reattached her helmet. “I’ll be patrolling the throne room myself, and this is for if somepony decides to throw in some knockout gas.”

Starlight sent her a deadpan look.

“It pays to be prepared!”

“Riiiight…”

---

(That afternoon…)

Trixie didn’t usually consider herself a patient mare, but she was willing to go the extra mile to wait for her friend. After all, unlike the Alicorn Princess of Friendship Who Shall Not Be Named Out of Spite, Starlight Glimmer had a bad habit of being tardy at times. Nevertheless, Starlight always kept her promises to meet her for their scheduled events. And so, sitting on the bench in front of the Ponyville Park’s only fountain, Trixie waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

She checked the watch on her fetlock, seeing the little hand resting over the one. Still she waited, calmly opening up an afternoon newspaper and reading.

The little hand drifted down to the two. Still no sign of the Unicorn, and the crosswords had all been filled.

Finally, Trixie couldn’t take it anymore. Growling and slapping her trademark magician’s hat on her head and draping her cloak over her back, she hopped off the bench to leave, just as a blue portal opened up next to her. She stared at it only for a moment before Starlight flew out of the portal at blinding speeds, slamming into Trixie and sending them both tumbling into the dirt, the portal closing up after her.

“Finally!” Trixie bellowed as the two rolled to a stop. “Do you realize how long Trixie has been waiting for…for…ummm, Starlight?”

“Ugh…” Starlight picked her head off the ground and looked at Trixie. “Yes Trixie?”

“Trixie gets that we’re close friends, but Trixie doesn’t think she’s ready to be this close to anypony yet, least of all in public.”

“Huh?” Starlight looked down, and realized that during their fall, she had accidentally splayed out over Trixie’s body. Her face was inches away from Trixie’s. Blushing, Starlight got to her hooves and offered a hoof forward. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to--!”

“Relax, Trixie takes no offense,” Trixie replied with a smirk, lifting herself up with Starlight’s help. “Besides, it was a little comfy. It just wasn’t the best time.”

Starlight blinked, and then shook her head. “Riiiight, ahem, anyway, sorry I’m late. Are we still on for that theater play?”

“Starlight, that was two hours ago.”

“What?!” Starlight looked down at her own watch, then checked the sun’s position in the sky. She let out a groan and slapped her forehead with a hoof. “Dang it, not again! Stupid time travel!”

Trixie raised an eyebrow and frowned.

Starlight sighed. “I’m sorry, Trixie, Twilight needed me to do an errand for her using my modified time travel spell. You know, the one I nearly destroyed the world with?”

“No, no, Trixie does not, but please continue, this is interesting.”

With a cough, Starlight continued, “Yes, well, I had to take a package to an alternate version of Nightmare Moon that Twilight met. Turns out that she and Twilight have been in contact for some time, something to do with stabilizing all the timelines and possibly something more, since she looked rather happy and bashful when she got that package. Anyway, she’s actually not that bad once you get to know her. Kinda benevolent…in a twisted, maniacal sort of way. Polite too. Offered me tea and everything when I got there.”

“What kind?” Trixie asked, her ears perking up.

“...Black, why?”

Trixie made a face. “Bleh, mare of poor taste. Earl grey for life. Please continue.”

“You’re awfully calm about this.”

“After the crazy things Trixie’s seen? Nightmare Moon offering tea to a time-travelling mare is peanuts.”

“Fair point,” Starlight conceded. “Well, after leaving on surprisingly good terms, I hopped through a time portal and ended up on another alternate timeline. Turns out this one had a Princess of Humility in it.”

“Humility?” Trixie hummed. “That’s a new one. Who was it?”

Starlight shifted on her hooves, wondering how much she should say. Finally, she decided on the only proper course of action. “...Some mare. Didn’t catch her name,” she lied.

Trixie shrugged, nonplussed. “What happened next?”

“Well, it took me eight treasure quests, several headaches, two weeks, sixty-nine coffee breaks--”

“Nice.”

“Shut up. It also took one Changeling invasion, one rogue steampunk Dragon, and no less than five close calls with death, but I finally made my way back here. And I STILL managed to miscalculate my timeline trajectory and miss the play!” Starlight kicked a pebble out of her way and into the fountain, splashing an unfortunate stallion in the face. “All this because of Twilight and a stupid box of chocolates!”

“A…box of chocolates?” Trixie echoed.

Starlight sighed and sat down on the bench. “Twilight got a box of chocolates today from Germaney, and she turned the Castle of Friendship into a fortress in order to protect them.”

“That seems a little excessive, even for Miss Smartypants.”

“WHERE?!” Starlight screeched, eyes wide and afraid. Several nearby Ponies, upon hearing the name as well, dove behind benches, trash cans, trees, bushes, and even into the fountain, all terrified.

“Twilight,” Trixie amended in confusion.

“Oh…right,” Starlight muttered with an embarrassed blush. “Don’t say that name again. Bad memories for the town, Twilight told me. Bad enchantments. Anyway, apparently these chocolates keep getting stolen from Twilight, and she’s determined not to let this batch out of her sight until she’s ready to eat them at midnight precisely. And with Spike preoccupied, that left her with nopony else she could count on to deliver the package to the alternate Nightmare Moon, so I needed to go. I guess I could’ve refused, but I owed her one, and I didn’t think it would end up becoming a huge deal.”

“Hmmm…” Trixie hummed, looking at the Castle of Friendship on the near horizon. “What’s so good about these chocolates that she thinks all that is necessary?” she asked, her curiosity piqued.

“Well, these chocolates are considered the greatest chocolates ever made, so good that wars have been fought over them.”

“That’s pretty darn good.”

“No, that’s pretty darn bad.”

“Yes it is, now please continue. What sort of defenses does she have?”

Starlight raised an eyebrow. “Modified party cannons, proximity mines, laser defenses, mercenaries, even hazmat suits for knockout gas. I think I even noticed the walls and windows being reinforced with steel too, as well as Spike etching some protective runes into the hallways as I was leaving.”

“Veeeery interesting. Anything else?”

“...The chocolates were on the Cutie Map, hidden under an invisibility spell, and shielded with a highly-focused energy field. Why the sudden interest?”

“Oh, just a crazy little idea of Trixie’s,” Trixie replied, a smug smile forming on her lips.

“Why do I get the feeling I’m not gonna like this?” Starlight wondered aloud.

“Starlight,” Trixie said, putting a hoof on her friend’s shoulder. “We may not have gotten the day we wanted, but by Celestia, we’re gonna get an evening to remember. We’re gonna steal those chocolates, as compensation for Twilight putting you through Tartarus for a couple hours.”

“Two weeks,” Starlight corrected.

“Right, time travel shenanigans, Trixie has such a flimsy memory sometimes. She might need to go to a professional about that, but not today! Today, she becomes a mastermind!” Without a word, she spun on her hooves and marched away from the fountain, heading down the path towards the park’s exit.

“Where are you going?” Starlight called after her.

“To Trixie’s wagon, where else?” Trixie hollered back. “That orb inside ain’t gonna ponder itself, nor will the heist plan be formulated without a little bit of scrying reconnaissance first!”

“You’re gonna get us both in trouble!” Starlight cried, chasing after her. “What will I tell Twilight when she sees us breaking in?”

“Be great and powerful, do crime!”

---

Sweeping her hoof across a crate and sending a deck of cards, a candle, and an empty mug tumbling to the floor of the wagon, Trixie rolled out an improvised interior blueprint of the Castle of Friendship and pressed it against the crate’s surface. “Alright, Starlight, we’ve got about nine hours to pull this off, are you ready?”

“I can’t believe you talked me into this…”

“Oh stop whining, you’re about to get your sweet revenge.”

“I’m going to get caught, put on trial, and then sent to the glue factories in the Frozen North!” Starlight retorted. “To say nothing of what they’ll do to you.”

Trixie shivered. “Eugh…glue factories, Trixie hates glue.”

“Good, we’re on the same page, now let’s just forget this ever happened and--”

“AND make sure that we don’t get caught!” Trixie finished with a cheer, pointing to the blueprint. “Now, how many hired thugs, erm, guards did you say you saw when you left?”

Starlight rolled her eyes. “About fifty or so?”

Trixie raised an eyebrow and looked out the wagon window at the Castle. “Fifty? In that little thing?”

“It’s a lot bigger on the inside than it is on the outside.”

“Huh, just like Twilight Sparkle’s ego, it suits her,” Trixie remarked.

“It sure suits somepony, alright,” Starlight snarked.

“Right, so fifty guards, and Twilight Sparkle in the throne room, on the ground floor,” Trixie said, pointing at the throne room. “That rules out the direct approach. Did you see their movements?”

“No.”

“That’s it? No?”

“Well, what do you want me to say?” Starlight asked, stamping a hoof on the floor. “I was on my way out, and I didn’t think that the rest of my day would consist of being lost in the space-time continuum for two weeks, nearly dying several times, and then stealing from not only my mentor but also one of my closest friends out of petty revenge. Revenge that YOU insisted I take, by the way. All I was thinking of at that moment was how to deliver the package and then get back in time to take a short nap before the play, which I think I still need.”

Trixie sighed. “Very well, Trixie can…work with this, somehow. We might need to think out of the box a bit, but it can still be done.”

Starlight threw her hooves up in the air. “Screw it! I said my piece, and she still insists. Ladies and gentlecolts, I hereby throw in the towel. What’s your plan, Trixie?”

“You sound very annoyed.”

A vein popped out of Starlight’s head, and her left eye twitched. “Ooooooh, trust me girl, I’ve got about two weeks’ worth of steam to blow off.”

Trixie clapped her forehooves together. “Good, good, Trixie can use that anger and steam to do great things!”

“The plan. What is it?”

“Right, right, here’s what Trixie has so far: Twilight isn’t dumb, but she’s also not as smart as she thinks she is, because she’s now met her match in Trixie! She thinks that nopony would be dumb enough to try to directly steal the chocolates, so that’s exactly what we’re gonna do.”

“...So that’s your plan?” Starlight asked, looking down at the blueprints. “Just…march in and take them?”

“No, that’s what you will be doing,” Trixie answered. She then pointed to herself and twirled her cape. “Trixie, on the other hoof, will be sneaking around the Castle’s backside and slipping in.”

“I wish you didn’t phrase it that way.”

“Then, once Trixie is inserted, she will do her best to be as slick as possible to reach the core,” Trixie continued without missing a beat.

“Are you doing this on purpose?”

“And while Trixie is doing that, you will lead the guards away from the main floor, and try to trip as many traps as possible, thus giving Trixie protection in her escapades.”

“You do realize the point of a plan is so that we don’t get caught, right?” Starlight groaned. “Also, that’s three.”

“Aaaand, while you’re doing that,” Trixie continued, her smirk growing wider. “Pinkie will bring up our rears and make a new hole.”

“Seriously, do you even know what you’re say--wait…Pinkie?”

Trixie nodded. “Mhm! Trixie will bribe her with the sweet taste of the chocolates, and she won’t be able to resist. She’ll tell us how to trigger the traps safely. Then, while Trixie swoops in to steal the chocolates, Pinkie will distract Twilight by drilling into the Castle from below, thus allowing Trixie the time to disable the shield, grab the chocolates, and then slip back out the way she came before Twilight realizes what happened to her.” She reared up on her hind legs and cheered. “What do you think?”

Starlight stared at her, and then facehooved. “You really want to know what I think?”

“Yes.”

“You sure?”

“Absolutely.”

“Positive?”

“Just say it already!” Trixie yelled.

“...This is the dumbest, weirdest, most unrefined, most hopeless, most incomplete, most useless, and without a doubt the most horribly-designed heist plan of all time,” Starlight deadpanned.

“Soooo you’re on-board then?”

Starlight blinked twice, then grew an evil grin reminiscent of her old ways. “Buck yeah, this’ll be the most fun I’ve had in ages. And when it inevitably goes south, all I’ll have to do is plead temporary insanity from having been lost to time for two weeks.”

“Will Twilight buy it, though?”

“To sell it I’ll just say that I saw you as an Alicorn princess in one of the timelines, she won’t be able to refute my claim of insanity then.”

Trixie squealed with laughter and hugged Starlight to her. “Oh Starlight, that’s genius! She’ll never believe that. Heck, even Trixie wouldn’t believe it. This is the greatest plan!”

“Famous last words,” Starlight giggled.

When the two separated, Trixie looked out the window once more at the Castle of Friendship. “Now all we have to do is prepare. We’re gonna need black suits, rope, masks, smoke bombs, illusions, and cupcakes.” She turned to Starlight, a large, sneaky grin plastered over her face. “Lots of cupcakes.”

Comments

[Eddy13]

“I’m going to get caught, put on trial, and then sent to the glue factories in the Frozen North!”

I hope she means as a worker.

“Trixie, on the other hoof, will be sneaking around the Castle’s backside and slipping in.”

“I wish you didn’t phrase it that way.”

“Then, once Trixie is inserted, she will do her best to be as slick as possible to reach the core,” Trixie continued without missing a beat.

“Are you doing this on purpose?”

“And while Trixie is doing that, you will lead the guards away from the main floor, and try to trip as many traps as possible, thus giving Trixie protection in her escapades.”

“You do realize the point of a plan is so that we don’t get caught, right?” Starlight groaned. “Also, that’s three.”

“Aaaand, while you’re doing that,” Trixie continued, her smirk growing wider. “Pinkie will bring up our rears and make a new hole.”

“Seriously, do you even know what you’re say--wait…Pinkie?”

So many innuendos!

[Scribblestick]

Only read the first part so far, but this is every bit as hilarious as I hoped it would be. Looking forward to wrapping this up later!