We Don't Belong Here!

by Dark Krystal

Overcome

I am Anonymous. Last name? None of your business. All you need to know about me is that I became a villain… and won.

Well… that's kind of a lie but not really, i think… You see, before you take over the capital of a country you should really have guards or an army with you. Otherwise all the residents will leave before you can even establish your first rule, and that is currently happening to me.
I let out a sigh as he sits on the main throne, My eyes scan over the darkened empty throne room. He turns his head to look at the numerous stained glass windows, some I had accidentally broken when I took over. I did feel some sadness when the idea came that I had destroyed some poor ponies artistic work that probably took them months just to make. I move my body to the left to get a glimpse of the outside world.

The sky was filled with a thick layer of an unending army of clouds. Strangely fitting with the melancholic atmosphere that fills Canterlot these days.

“What an okay day for a walk… I guess.” I get up from the throne with a huff and look back to witness my glorious butt mark vanish from the throne’s cushion. I can’t help but chuckle at my disappearing mark before focusing back on what's in front of me and walking. Opening the large doors to the throne room I walk aimlessly through the emptied halls of the castle, the lighting from the cloudy sky had turned the once colorful populated castle into a fresh ruin.

Ah! That reminds me! I should prooooobably tell you why I became a villain. Well let's get one thing straight! I didn’t become a villain because I was wronged by the ponies or Twilight and friends. Believe it or not they were my closest friends once. I became a villain because I was… well asked to or begged to be a villain. I like begging more so i’ll say she begged me to become a villain. Who’s “she” well… alright I think I should just tell you the whole story so let's just go back to the start of this!

~Wososososososoososososososh Flashback noises Wososososososoososososososh~

You see this pretty started after Twilight officially became the ruler of Equestria and ruled for 10 years. It was really, really fucking peaceful like the normal ponyvill shenanigans of the six fighting creatures or some type of unlucky shit just ceased. It was like living in the countryside on your own plot of land, that type of peacefulness. Now then during one of these peaceful days I was having a wicked dream of showing my wicked moves in front of a crowd of mares when it all just vanished and I was just in some random field of tall grass.

Now of course this freaked me the fuck out for a bit but then i realized it was probably Luna’s retired ass fucking me and so i cursed at her. Only for a white alicorn to come out of nowhere and respond with laughter, and let me state this! This white alicorn was not Celestia, in fact i never even seen or heard of this bitch before. She was… simple, she didn’t have the flowing manes that Twilight and others had yet she was slightly bigger than Celestia.

Her mane and tail was kinda messy with a nice autumn leaf red color and her coat was a pristine white. You don’t have to believe me but I want to trust my word when I say it. She was pretty fucking hot. Back to the point she introduced herself as “Faust” and just that. I didn’t need to introduce myself of course, she heard of me like every other creature in this country. Heh. She cut right to chase then and there and just asked me to become the next or “final” villain.

When she told me this I had to clean my ears out and triple take, like just imagine having a cool dream and then getting invaded by some random alicorn telling you to become a villain. Of course I told her “Hellll No!” which resulted in her begging me to become one. I asked her why and she gave me a long explanation that i can’t bother to fucking remember.

However I do remember the central point. Twilight needed a new villain to help her progress to the final stage. At the time this confused me and she kept begging me so I told her to just give me a day to think about it and she did! I woke up and did my usual morning routine before travelling to canterlot and hanging out with Twilight, and by hanging out I mean sitting on the side while I watched her talk to some random losers talk about their problems or taxes, or blah blah. I didn’t tell her about the dream as I thought it was probably just a weird dream.

I was going to dismiss it all together when the rest of the mane six came in and… they looked old, like they all had bags under their big eeys and Rarity had a long grey fucking strip on her mane… while me, Twilight, Discord, and Spike all looked young. It was like a brick just fucking smacked me cause i realized then and there the tragedy that was happening. Me, Twilight, and Spike were going to out live these guys. I honestly had to go to the bathroom and throw up from the stress that epiphany fucking gave me.

Did Twilight and Spike even acknowledge this? No. We were the same, it wasn’t until now I just… finally took a good look at them and realized they were aging. I wondered how Twilight would even react to the death of her friends? Starlight? Moondancer? Hell, her own appearance? How can Twilight be the princess of friendship when everyone around her is dying!? Her closest pals were me and Spike but even then because of her duties we can’t even hang out that much!

I wanted to strangle Celestia. I fucking said it. She fucking did this to Twilight by making her drink that fucking potion, she damn well knew the issues with being immortal. As I was hunched over the sink trying to get over this anger I looked back on that request from the Alicorn and realized something, the purpose of a villain at least in storytelling. You see villains exist because heroes exist, villains challenge the heroes ideals and beliefs and yadah yadah you get it.

They also… progress the hero. Whether it is making the hero stronger or their beliefs stronger, they exist to help heroes be stronger or hell the world itself stronger. I thought back on to all the villains Twilight had faced.

Nightmare Moon progressed Twilight to leave her shell and become an element, Discord challenged Twilight's belief in friendship and made it stronger,

Chrysalis showed her to use other factors in relationships.

Tirek had prepared Twilight to make hard choices and prepared her for the role of leader.

Starlight had made Twilight change her thoughts on villains

Stygian made Twilight look past her worship of idols.

The Storm King taught Twilight that importance of spreading friendship

Cozy Glow taught her that not everyone can learn friendship and be redeemed

Without them Twilight would not be the Leader she is today… If every villain had taught her something then… I had pretty figured out what I would teach her if I was the villain.

“Betrayal and Loss”

Friendships can be broken and you will lose friends.

I stop and look out one of the broken windows, the empty streets of Canterlot lay there in my view, numerous boarded up homes decorated them and the remains of the destruction lay on my way to the castle stained the streets. A crater here, a crater there, a burnt home there and a thrown home over here. I remembered the faces of everypony moments before I began my assault, their normal greetings and cute little smiles. The filly who rushed to him and asked for his autograph, heh it was cute at the time... Until I blasted a home to pieces, the look of horror and fear on their faces was priceless.

I let out a bitter chuckle while gripping my chest.

“Fuck me…” I say under my breath before continuing my stroll.

Back to my origins I went to sleep that night and I met her again. She asked for my response and I didn't give it to her straight away, I asked her about my realization which surprised her. Seeing that I realized why she needed a villain she told me then and there told me… well everything. Starting from how she was the maker of this world aka pretty much hot female god to how Twilight’s story wasn’t supposed to be like this.

I asked her what changed but she pretty much no commented me on that so I don’t how Twilight got fucked over this hard. She then asked again if i wanted to be a villain and… I couldn't let Twilight suffer or Equestria suffer like this… so i agreed. She thanked me and promised she’d repay me once this is all over. We made plans and the theme i’d play.

Pretty much just a cliché children show “hah, dumbass i waited for you to finally drop your guard and also i’ve been a bad guy this whole time!” She gave me a script and everything. However, because I'm a human and don’t have the intelligence of cozy or magic like Tirek and the others, she had to improvise. By improvise i mean she snapped me out of my dream via teleporting me into the vaults of Canterlot, steal Grogar’s dumbass bell, make me go back to sleep again, then teach me how to use the bell.

She put some of her magic in it because you know the bell absorbs magic and lets you cast like.. Fucking nuclear magic bombs depending on how much mana is in it. I can’t superpower myself with magic like Tirek, Cozy, or Chrysalis. So i pretty much became Grogar but human, can’t insert magic into me but i can pretty much use it as some sort of uh… sign language translator? I don’t fucking how how it works all she told me was “make hand gesture + think of effect = boom magic”

I have no clue how she could just change how the functions of this bell but when you’re a god i guess when you’re a good you can just be like “it just works”

Now we got the origins out of the way, let me tell you how I took over. It was… really and I mean it! Really easy, like holy shit these guys suck. I Walked into Canterlot and just started doing “pew pew” at stuff, ponies freaked out, guards came and they just instantly got knocked the fuck out. I did this until I made it to the throne room where Twilight, Spike, and somepony.. Uhh. Luster I think was her name?

Of course Twilight was shocked that I was the cause and got pissed because she thought I was taking one of my perfect pranks too far. If only it was a prank… we could both laugh at it in the end. I followed my script and told her my deal which shocked her and then and there we had a magic deal and pretty much like Celestia beat her magic magic beam and burnt her horn.

I did my casual villain speech and expected her to get up, summon elements or something. I thought it was going to be a one and done, i mean she’s fucking strong like I'm pretty sure her magic far surpasses Celestia’s. She didn’t instead Spike and Luster ran to her side and she just… fucking teleported.

So I was like “Okay! I’ll sit here and wait for her and the elements to come up!” and four. FOUR! FOUR FUCKING DAYS! I sat there waiting for the elements to come up only for the young six to come and challenge me. I fought them and beat the living shit out of them and they left, then the Pillars came and i did the same and they fucking left.

Now it’s been three months. Three fucking months! I have beaten Twilight and taken over Canterlot and no one has shown up! My sleep schedule is fucked up because i keep going to sleep to pass time and hope Faust comes to me again and explain WHAT THE FUCK IS TAKING SO LONG!? I am so far the most successful villain in Equestria fucking history and i didn’t even have a army! Storm King fucking invaded with a army and I had Canterlot only for eight hours!

I sigh when I make it to the famous balcony that Celestia, Luna, and Twilight stood to raise the sun and moon. I looked at the distant town of Ponyville. At first I didn’t know where Twilight went when she teleported but a couple days after my takeover Ponyville became a fortified mini city. For a while I left the town alone with the assumption that Twilight was gathering her forces to prepare for an assault against me like the fight against the villainous trio but no, instead the town stood there for weeks mocking me.

Of course I did the only reasonable thing to do when being ignored or avoided. I threw a fucking giant ass fireball at them. Despite that no one had shown up yet, so being the villainous fiend that I am, I chucked fireballs at Ponyville once a week and i swear each time i do it their response time to put out the fire speeds up.

“Wouldn’t need a alpha fireteam if you just FUCKING CAME UP HERE AND FIGHT ME TWILIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!” I screamed at the distant town. I sighed and took out the damn bell attached to my belt. I give a little jingle and wiggle my fingers with my other hand.

“Skidaddle, skadoodle, Ponyville burn like my ramen noodles!” It was my masterful rhyme for fireballs. The bell glows and a ball of fire forms out of nowhere a few feet away from my wiggling fingers, keep wiggling until the fireball is about the size of a house. Satisfied with the size and jingle jangle the bell and stop its growth, with a snap of my fingers the ball shoots off to Ponyville at pretty terrifying speeds if i say so.

Three minutes later I see rising smoke coming from the town and letting my best maniacal laugh only for me to end up coughing in the middle of it. I frown and turn around to head back inside, i can’t even enjoy the destruction anymore it just all so tiresome. Everything is fucking tiresome, everything sucks, god is this what it means to be a villian and win? No wonder villains in most stories are pretty much destined to lose. Winning fucking sucks when you're villian.

I eventually return to my throne and rubbing my ass into the fucking sweet as cushion. Leaning back against the throne I close my eyes and prepare for my afternoon nap, after than my evening dinner then bully Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy in the vault again. Waiting for sleep to take me I tense up when I hear the sound of clops, at first I thought I was finally going mad and about to experience what schizophrenia is like but the more I listened the closer it got until I could help it but open my eyes.

I scanned the throne room almost instantly only to see no one around… but I still heard the clopping. I focused on the sound and looked ahead, it was coming from the main hallway. My heart raced and a smile formed on my face, I quickly changed my pose to look more dominant and villainous aka the old classic leg over knee and smirk. I took deep breaths in and out to calm myself, I played the script lines over in my head and licked my lips.

Life, finally after three fucking months life comes to me. I can finally exit this victorious hellscape called Canterlot ! I waited to see Twilight's large figure enter my sight and when I saw the figure approach my heart and excitement instantly dropped. Luster Dawn.

Luster… Dawn. Luster Fucking Dawn. LUSTER FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- I close my eyes and grit me teeth. Twilight had to be with her right, please tell me I'm right, Faust please tell me I'm fucking right. I open my eyes and see Luster Dawn enter my throne room with a familiar determined look and saddlebags on her.

I sucked in air when she stopped and began my now improvised script. “Luster Dawn… I’ve been expecting you.”

She tenses up which makes my smirk grow. She shivers seeing my confident facade grow which makes me happy that my acting skills have improved over these months. She mumbles something to herself before speaking directly at me.

“Sir Ano- Mist- I mean! Lord Anonymous, I, Student of Princess Twilight Sparkle have come to duel you for the reclaim of Canterlot on the behalf of Princess Twilight!”

I laugh at her and lean forward with my fake smirk. I opened my mouth to speak but no sound came out. Why? Because I'm wondering why the FUCK did Twilight send her student to face against the villian who took over Canterlot in a single day and beat her in magic combat!? Is she fucking HIGH!?

I glare at her and catch my voice again. “Twilight sent you… to duel against me?”

Luster nodded her head and brace herself while my anger started to take over. “Is this a joke?” I asked.

“No, sir! I have been tasked in defeating you!” Luster puffed her little chest out and ignited her horn. Her confidence was really inspirational. Did she have something to beat me? Time to fish.

“You seem awfully confident that you can face me, Luster… Why so?” I cup my chin as I look over at her.

Luster smirked back at me. “Because I have something you abandoned! Friendship!” I tense up and expected others to pop out and surprise me. Nothing came out so I looked her expectantly only for her smirk to stay put on her muzzle.

“I see… Well, where are your friends then?” I raised a brow at her. She looks back at me surprised and looks away with nervousness clear on her face. “Oh well… they had to go to school today… But! As long as I believe in friendship then I can beat you!”

Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. I couldn’t help it, my façade broke and I leaned against the throne with wide eyes. I could feel my veins bulging on my forehead right now, I'm so fucking mad. “Luster Dawn, that is not how friendship works..”

She raises a brow at me and giggles. “Um that IS how friendship works.. or at least that’s what Princess Twilight taught me. Are you going to come down here and get your flanked kicked or am i gonna have to come up there, i mean it’s gonna hurt both me and you cause you know… I always respected you Si- Lord Anonymous but Twilight told me to do this for Equestria so i got to knock some friendship back into you!”

I couldn’t fucking take it anymore. I put my face in the palm of my hands and fucking screamed. I heard her panicked clops but I couldn't care less. Everything was wrong. From my victory to Twilight's hiatus to THIS. I almost reminded me of how Celestia dealt with disc- I pulled my hands away from me face and guessing Luster’s scared expression i must’ve looked really fucking pissed.

I couldn’t fucking believe, i mean well i could but still this was so fucking stupid! Twilight was following Celestia’s teaching method of just… sending her student to face big baddies to overcome and grow in friendship! Did Twilight literally view me as her own Discord just because I stayed up here!? Petrified up here to be dealt with later when the time was right!? A stepping stone for her student!? Not only that but Luster clearly fucking misunderstood Twilight’s friendship lessons!

I stood up from my chair and ripped off the bell from my belt and shook that motherfucker and snapped my fingers. My wish was fulfilled and I teleported to Luster’s side and quickly picked her up. She gasped and quickly started to squirm as best as a waist reaching horse could.

“L-let go you fiend!” She croaked out as she squirms against my grip. I scowled hard and threw the bell up in the air to smack her flank which made her let out a scared neigh. I catch my falling bell and glare at her.

“Luster, my anger is currently FUCKING immeasurable and the news you have brought to me have ruined my FUCKING day! You don’t understand jack FUCK about friendship and Twilight can’t teach you SHIT about friendship! I am going down there and we are going to have a Villian to Princess to Student conference and talk about how FUCKED you two are!” I yelled out as I started to walk down the hall with Luster.

Fuck Faust and the Script it's all gone to shit now! Me and Twilight are going to have a long fucking talk.

Author's Note:

Story concept :Anon Being a villian

A idea that came during work about Anon being the final villian of G4 to teach Twilight the lesson of betrayal and loss to prepare her for the deaths of her friends.

Originally this story was going to be bittersweet. Luster Dawn coming to face anon because Twilight could not face someone who she trusted and loved, only to be saved by Twilight as she comes to realize that for the good of Equestria anon must be put down and she must move on. Twilight would win their duel letting anon be banished with his last actions being a smile and the last words "I knew you could do it, good job Twilight." Or something more bittersweet.

How did this ending come out instead? I realized it would be kind of funny for Twilight to follow Celestia's shitty teaching of throwing her student at great evils to learn friendship and repeat the cycle.

Comments

[Kevin Lee]

It would be interesting to see what Twilight's reaction would be to finally hear about it was some strange "Faust" putting him up to this....