The "Season 11" Project! -- Camp Harmony! (And What Is Patriotism?)

by starponys87

#5 - Welcome to Camp Harmony

Author's Note:

As always, I am happy to receive input from collaborators. I don't want this to be just my project. I want it to be yours, too!

Section #1:

At the School of Friendship, there was now a great new sports stadium. It was so big, it could allow just about any sport. In addition, it could double as an auditorium that could hold all the students, in this ever-growing school. The number of students had grown to over 3,000!

All the students (along with other guests) were sitting in the bleachers. Some of the school staff were handing out food and drink (no bits required!).

Sandbar's parents were sitting among the crowd, along with baby Coral. In the bleachers just above, Thorax was sitting with Ember and Pharynx. Beside Sandbar's family, there sat Ocellus' family, along with Yona's family. In the bleachers just below sat Garble and his gang, plus Gilda and Grampa Gruff.

"I'm so proud of my little Sandbar!" remarked Sandbar's mother, with a happy tear in her eyes.

"How much he's grown up!" added the father, also crying happy tears.

"And now he wants us to learn what he's learned!"

"Sammbah! Sammbah!" cheered baby Coral, in her mother's lap.

Ember turned to Thorax. "Thorax, I just want to apologize, once more, for threatening to burn down your kingdom. That was extremely cruel, and I knew it."

Thorax gave her a big hug. "I love you, Ember. You're like the sister I never had!"

Ember blushed. She hugged him back. "You're like the brother I never had!"

Pharynx turned to Thorax. "You know how Celestia and Luna have a book called The Journal of the Two Sisters? Why don't we write a book called 'The Journal of the Two Brothers'?"

"I could help you write it!" said Stygian, sitting beside Pharynx.

Garble and his gang were cheering as if they were at a hoofball game -- complete with T-shirts featuring Smolder's name and picture, along with other paraphernalia.

"Go, Smolder! Go!" called Garble, holding up a big foam finger. "You're #1!"

The purple dragon with the yellow "hair" (Fume) grabbed a whole tray of food and drinks from one of the workers (Lemon Hearts). He tossed most of them to his friends, giving the rest to himself.

"Thank you very much!" said Fume, with a friendly but mischievous smile. "You are very generous!"

Lemon Hearts laughed nervously. "Well ... thank you, boys!"

Garble and his gang started gobbling the snacks and sucking down the drinks.

Wearing their sunglasses, Lyra and Bon Bon were also offering drinks and snacks.

"Remember, Agent Heartstrings!" whispered Bon Bon. "We are on the lookout for suspicious creatures who might crash this assembly!"

Lyra and Bon Bon approached Ocellus' family.

"No, thanks, ma'ams!" said Ocellus' mom. "We aren't feeling very hungry ... now that we have so much love to give!"

Ocellus' family was hugging one another, rubbing faces. They faintly glowed, as if they were literally feeding each other with their love.

"A likely story ... ," said Bon Bon, with a deadpan face.

Lyra offered food and drinks to the two gryphons. Bon Bon proceeded to Yona's family (her parents and her little brother and sister).

Suddenly, she tripped and fell -- causing her tray to fly onto the yaks! Her sunglasses fell off in the process.

Bon Bon gasped with fear. "I'm ... I'm sorry, yaks."

"No worry!" said Yona's father. "Yaks no smash pony. We friends now!"

"Thank ... thank you!" said Bon Bon with nervous smile. She picked back up her sunglasses.

Yona's family started eating the snacks off one another's fur. Lyra walked on by. The yaks grabbed the drinks and started slurping them down.

"Pony food great!" said Yona's mom.

"It no yak food! But perfect for pony!" remarked Yona's sister.

Suddenly, the sound of microphone feedback pierced through the noise of the crowd. Everyone stopped talking and sat still ... after plugging their ears for a few seconds.

Section #2:

"Attention, ponies!" called Starlight Glimmer. "School is back in session!"

Starlight was standing at the center podium. Twilight and Sunburst stood at the podiums beside her.

With a puff of smoke, Trixie teleported in front of the podiums. She was holding a microphone with her horn.

"Counselor Trixie is really proud of your progress on your friendship lessons!" she announced. Now the Great and Powerful Trixie wants to take it to the next level!"

Starlight, slapped her hoof against her forehead. Trixie was still one of Starlight's best friends, but her self-absorbed manners could still get on Starlight's nerves. Twilight and Sunburst were also annoyed.

Putting back on a smile, Starlight said, "That's right, Trixie. Today, we are here to announce our latest school program. Why don't you tell them, Sunburst?"

Sunburst put on a nervous smile. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. "We are starting a new summer camp. But not just any camp. It's called ... Camp Harmony!"

With his horn, Sunburst brought down a giant banner (which had been rolled up on a giant hanger far above). In big letters, it said "CAMP HARMONY!" Surrounding the text were the jewels standing for the six Elements of Harmony.

Pressing a remote control, Trixie let off a bunch of fireworks, colored like the Elements of Harmony.

The crowed cheered, clapping their hands and whistling.

Sunburst continued, "You see, my faithful students ... many of you know what happened last week. Six monsters almost stole our Elements of Harmony!"

Many in the crowd gasped in shock.

"What can we do!" cried out one of the students.

"That is what this camp is about!" declared Sunburst. "For far too long, we have kept all our eggs ... or Elements ... in one basket. If we lose one of our Mane 6 ... who will take their place?"

"So," continued Twilight -- "we want to train all of you to bear the Elements of Harmony! And we have some special creatures to help you out!"

From behind the curtain, the Student 6 walked onto the stage. Again, the crowd cheered.

"Here are six of our newest graduates!" declared Twilight. "They are the Student 6. Why don't you introduce yourselves?"

Each of the Student 6 carried a microphone. They stood in front of the podiums, standing side by side. Sandbar stood between Yona and Ocellus. Gallus stood between Smolder and Silverstream.

"Good morning, my fellow students! My name's Sandbar!"

"I'm Gallus!"

"My name is Smolder!" Smolder jumped slightly into the air, hovering for a moment.

"I'm Silverstream!" Silverstream leapt into the air, hovering above her friends.

"My ... my name is Ocellus!" Ocellus blushed with shyness.

"And Yona Yona!" Yona jumped with excitement, shaking the stage. The other students lost their balance and fell ... except for Silverstream, who was still hovering.

Sitting on the ground, Sandbar continued talking. "Camp Harmony will be divided into six different camps. Each will specialize in a different Element of Harmony. My Element is Magic."

"I'm Loyalty!" declared Smolder, pointing her thumb to herself. Flapping her wings, she got back onto her feet.

"I'm Generosity!" said Gallus, also getting back up.

"I'm ... I'm Kindness!" said Ocellus, blushing again. "I ... I don't mean to brag about myself ..."

"I am Laughter!" With her wings, Silverstream did some loops in the air. "Why did the gryphon cross the road? To get to his friend on the other side!" In the air, she rolled around with laughter.

Gallus cringed, kind of amused, kind of annoyed. Ocellus and Sandbar also got back up.

"Yona Honesty!" Yona jumped again with excitement. "Yaks perfectly honest! Yaks say what yaks mean!

Once again, Sandbar fell back onto the floor. This time, Smolder, Gallus, and Ocellus kept their balance by flapping their wings.

"These veteran students," announced Twilight, "will be your new Camp Counselors! With their magic of friendship, they have helped save us on multiple occasions. And they're ready to help you do the same!"

The crowd clapped and cheered.

Smolder leapt into the air, hovering slightly off the ground. "Don't be fooled by my appearance." She pointed her thumb toward herself. "This dragon has a warm heart deep inside!"

Smolder blew a big friendly fireball that looked like a heart.

Garble blushed with a smile, feeling the warmth of his sister's affection. His gang also blushed and smiled. Many of the older students gasped a little in fear. But many of the younger students felt their hearts being warmed.

"We're gonna have great fun!" exclaimed Silverstream. She did more loops in the sky. "We'll laugh ... we'll cry ... we'll all be friends forever!"

Section #3:

Twilight jumped into the air, picking up her microphone with her horn. Hovering in front of the giant banner, she continued, "In addition to our new school program, we also have some new foreign students! Cutie Mark Crusaders -- bring them in!"

One by one, the Cutie Mark Crusaders came out from behind the curtain.

Apple Bloom walked along with the little zebra boy. "Hello, everycreature! I'm Apple Bloom!"

"And my name is Striper!" said the little zebra. Standing on his hind legs, he waved to the crowd. "Zecora has told me great things about you ponies!"

The little kelpie boy, using his water powers, slid onto the stage. Flapping her wings, Scootaloo rushed into the scene on her scooter.

"I'm Scootaloo!"

Scootaloo tried to stop, but her scooter slipped on the little kelpie's watery tail.

"YAHHHHH!" cried Scootaloo.

Scootaloo was flung off her scooter. She fell off the stage and onto the field below.

Most of the audience gasped. The little kelpie, on the other hand, continued to smile. Unfortunately, some of the dragons were laughing (along with a few other creatures).

"And my name is Hydroplane!" The kelpie twirled around with excitement. "I hope you love water sports! 'Cause you're in for a splash!" He splashed his arms, causing some water to splatter onto the others on the stage.

Flapping her wings, Scootaloo climbed back onto the stage. She gave the kelpie an angry stare.

Sweetie Belle walked into the scene. The little abada girl sat behind her.

"My name is Sweetie Belle! Little filly, why don't you introduce yourself?"

"Hmph!" said the little abada, her arms crossed with annoyance.

"Her name is Whirlwind!" announced Sweetie Belle.

Babs Seed arrived with the little cat girl (a calico). "My name is Babs Seed! I am the founder of the Cutie Mark Crusaders' Manehattan branch!"

"And my name is Napper!" The little cat girl was wearing a coat just like Capper's, except it was pink. "I hope you love games. I'm great at hide-and-seek! And sneak-and-find!"

Rumble flew in. The little dog boy rode on his back. (Again, resembling an Australian shepherd.)

"My name is Rumble!" Rumble landed on the floor. "And I'm also a Cutie Mark Crusader now! These girls are wonderful ponies, I have to say!"

"My name is Yapper!" said the little dog boy, jumping to the ground. "And I'm great at playing catch! And digging for treasure!" Yapper wore a golden collar with a big diamond heart hanging from it.

Gabby also flew into the scene, wearing her mailbag. "My name is Gabby! I can't grow a cutie mark. But I created my own!" Proudly, she pointed to the symbol on her mailbag.

Several moments passed.

Then several more.

Gabby looked behind, starting to get worried.

"Winger!" she called. She flew back to the curtain. "Come on out, so you can tell everycreature your name!"

Section #4:

Gabby landed behind the curtain. "Winger! Where are you?"

The little bird boy (a lovebird) was sitting nearby. He was crying again, covering his eyes with his wings.

Gabby heard the noise and looked his way. Gabby was really worried now. "Winger ... ? What's wrong?"

"I want Daddy!" cried Winger. "And Mommy!"

Winger's father (Lovington, also a lovebird) flew into the scene.

"Don't worry!" cried Lovington. "Daddy's here!"

Grabbing his son off the ground, Lovington wrapped his wings around his little boy. Lovington was also crying.

"Lovington!" called Winger's mother (Strongheart, also a lovebird), walking into the scene. "You'll see your son again within two weeks!"

Just then, Rainbow Dash dashed into the scene. "Bird missing! I hear a bird's gone missing!"

Gabby giggled. "Don't worry, rainbow pony! Winger's right here!"

"Gabby, the little boy's crying. I don't think that's funny." Dash continued to hover in the air.

"That's not ... ," stammered Gabby ... "I mean ..."

"Professor Dash," said Strongheart. "My husband and son are nearly inseparable. And it's becoming a serious problem. I swear, if one of them has to leave for more than a day, it feels like death to them!"

Rainbow Dash sighed, feeling kind of sad herself. She landed in front of the father and son.

"Winger? Lovington? It's me, Rainbow Dash."

"Good morning, Professor Dash," said Lovington. "I'm just trying to say goodbye one last time to my little son."

"And me to my big daddy!" said Winger.

The father and son started crying again.

"I think I can offer a diagnosis," said Rainbow Dash, turning to Strongheart. "It seems that Winger and Lovington have a severe case of separation anxiety. Trust me ... I know what that's like. A pony might do things she knows she shouldn't, in a desperate bid to get relief."

Rainbow Dash flew to Strongheart. "Strongheart, I don't think your husband is suited to leave just yet. You need to go without him, if there's somewhere else you need to be."

Strongheart sighed. "I admit, I don't like being anywhere without my husband. In fact, I was looking forward to him and me having a few weeks to ourselves -- not burdened by having to raise a child. But it seems those plans have been rained out."

"No problem!" said Dash. "While Winger is here, we're the ones doing the heavy lifting. You and Lovington can have your own room in the guest quarters! It'll be the best of both worlds! Your son gets to see his parents, from time to time. And you get to have a weeks-long honeymoon!"

"Wow, Rainbow Dash!" said Twilight, also landing at the scene. "You sounded ... kind of like me!"

"Well," said Dash, "I guess I've had to be an egghead for so long in this school ... it's kind of rubbed off on me!"

Twilight walked to the little lovebird. She looked him in the eye. "Winger? Do you feel ready now? Mommy and Daddy won't be leaving just yet. It's going to be their vacation, too!"

"Oh, yes!" exclaimed Winger. "Thank you, Your Highness!"

Winger popped out of his father's arms and hugged the alicorn Princess. This time, he was crying happy tears.

Twilight laughed and blushed. She gave Winger a hug, too. "Every student of mine is precious to me. By the way, you can just call me 'Twilight'. Or 'Sparkle'. I want to be your friend, Winger. That's what it means to be a Princess of Friendship!"

Winger's parents looked in amazement. They had never seen such warmth and humility out of a ruler!

"Are you ready now to go out on stage?" asked Twilight.

"Yes!" exclaimed Winger. "I'm ready now!"

Section #5:

Gabby flew back on stage. Winger flew behind, alongside Twilight. Gabby and Winger landed beside the other Cutie Mark Crusaders and new students. Picking back up her microphone, Twilight hovered from above.

"Sorry, creatures!" Twilight apologized with a smile. "It seems we had some technical difficulties."

Gabby picked back up her microphone. "My name is Gabby!"

"And my name is Winger!"

"And I'm Lovington!" Lovington flew onto stage beside his son. "I just want you ponies to know -- we feel more welcome to this land than we could have ever imagined! When Twilight says she's a Princess of Friendship, she means every word she says!"

The crowd cheered -- louder than ever!

Strongheart peered from behind the curtain, kind of surprised and bothered by her husband's fearlessness. For a ruler to live like one of her own subjects ... that was not a concept that Strongheart could grasp.

"Now you have met all six of our new foreign students!" announced Twilight. "I hope you will all treat them well. We don't want any disasters that could threaten our new friendships with other kingdoms."

"By the way," announced Starlight Glimmer, "the EEA has long been concerned that this school doesn't have strong enough security."

The crowd booed.

"I know ... I know ... Technically, we are not certified, so we don't have to play by their rules. Still, the chancellor gave us some important advice. So I want to introduce you to another new set of students. Creatures -- give a big welcome to Shining Armor and his Royal Guard!"

The Royal Guard were sitting in their own section in the stadium. Shining Armor floated above, glowing with the magic of his horn. Starlight pointed in their direction.

Once again, the crowd cheered.

Twilight flew by her big brother. "My big brother wants to learn all he can. This way, the Royal Guard can have the magic of friendship like me, my girlfriends, and the Student 6! And as a bonus -- the School of Friendship will have a far stronger security system!"

Just then, Princess Cadance flew into the scene. With her horn, she was carrying Prince Blueblood.

"Aw, Caddy!" said Blueblood. "I do not want to go to this plain old school. Do I really have to mingle like this with common subjects?"

Cadance gave him a hard stare. She pressed her nose against his. "Blueblood, this is not how our kingdom works! If you want to be a royal in this kingdom, you must learn the ways of friendship!"

Blueblood gulped.

Celestia and Luna descended beside him.

"My dear nephew," said Celestia with a wry smile, "you don't want to disappoint your Aunt Celestia, do you?" She gave him a hug.

"Uhh ... , no, Aunt Celestia ... or Luna."

"Now go down there and have fun!" encouraged Luna. "Our new Queen commands it!"

Cadance brought Prince Blueblood down to the stage.

"Oh!" said Twilight. "We have one other special guest."

She landed next to Blueblood. "Creatures, here is Prince Blueblood. He's not a ruler, but he's still part of our royal family!"

The crowd sat silent. Then some started to boo. (Garble and his gang also booed for the fun of it!)

Cadance picked up another microphone. She dropped it, causing ear-piercing feedback. The crowd quieted down.

Then Cadance picked the microphone back up. "I know, my loyal subjects. My cousin can be hard to get along with. But that's why he needs your help. We must show him that every one of us is a precious gem. As Twilight always says -- if you want to make friends, you must be a friend. You must give creatures a reason to like you!"

Some of the crowd started clapping, but most stayed silent. Among those who clapped were Shining Armor, the changelings, and Sandbar's family. (Garble and his gang cheered just for the fun of it!)

Section #6:

"Now that we've met all our new special students," said Starlight, "let's get started with our new program! As I said, each of you students will be assigned to one of six camps! Sunburst, do you have the cards?"

"Yes, Starlight!" said Sunburst. "Every last one!"

With his horn, he handed the big box to Starlight. Starlight opened the box.

"In just one moment," continued Starlight, "each of you will receive your card. It will have your name, your cutie mark, and the Element of Harmony to which you've been assigned. In three ... two ... one!"

Starlight zapped the cards in the box. Each card was teleported to its respective student, landing on their laps.

"As for our new foreign students," continued Starlight, "each of them will be mentored by one of the Student 6 -- along with one of our Cutie Mark Crusaders!"

Apple Bloom and Striper walked to Sandbar.

"Sandbar!" said Apple Bloom. "Your special student is Striper!"

Scootaloo and Hydroplane scooted to Silverstream.

"Silverstream!" said Scootaloo. "Your special student is Hydroplane! Oh -- and tell Terramar I said hello!"

Using her horn, Sweetie Belle took Whirlwind to Ocellus. "Ocellus, your special student is Whirlwind! She could really use some extra love, from a changeling like you!"

Babs Seed and Napper walked to Smolder.

"Hi, my little kitty!" greeted Smolder. She picked Napper up and hugged her. Napper hugged her back.

Babs giggled. "Smolder, looks like you've already made a new best friend!"

"Yapper! Yapper!" called Yona. She bounced with excitement, charging toward her little dog friend.

Rumble had to fly out of the way. Then Yona tripped and fell, cracking the floor. Her head fell just an inch away from Yapper.

Yapper laughed, saying, "Yona smash stage floor!"

Yona sat up and gave Yapper a big hug. "Yapper smash stuff, too! Yapper and Yona smash together!"

Gabby and Winger flew to Gallus.

"So let me guess ... ," said Gallus. "By process of elimination, I receive the little bird boy."

"Aren't you excited!" said Gabby, hugging and squeezing Gallus. "He's such a precious little lovebird! He's scared to be alone without his mom or dad. And his dad's scared to be alone without him! You're such a good friend, Gallus! I know you will give him the love he needs from fellow birbs like us!"

Winger also gave Gallus a big hug. "I hear great stories about you, Gallus! Is it true you once saved Equestria from losing all its magic? Just you and your five student friends?"

Gallus blushed and laughed. "I ... I didn't know that I was such a celebrated hero!"

Gallus whispered into Gabby's ear, "I must admit, Gabby, I don't feel ready for this taking-care-of-little-children thing. But now the little bird is looking up to me. I don't want to let him down."

Gabby giggled. "Don't worry, Gallus! You're not alone. He's my student, too, you know!"

Suddenly, Bon Bon leapt onto the stage, with the help of a grappling hook. For the moment, Bon Bon wasn't wearing her sunglasses. She marched up to the little cat.

"Little kitty!" she demanded with a deadpan face. "Agent Sweetie Drops demands you surrender those sunglasses right now!"

"What is secret agent talking about?" asked Napper.

Bon Bon pulled off Napper's coat and dumped its contents. One of the items was Bon Bon's sunglasses. There were also a couple of diamonds and pearls, along with a big commemorative gold coin depicting Twilight's coronation as "queen".

Starlight gasped. So did Twilight and Sunburst. (Trixie giggled.)

Lyra (still wearing her sunglasses) climbed up the rope attached to the grappling hook.

She also confronted Napper. "Napper! What you did was very mean. Agent Sweetie really loves her sunglasses. You've really hurt her feelings. And mine!"

With her horn, Lyra returned the stolen glasses, putting them back on for Bon Bon.

"That's right, Napper," said Smolder, taking a seat beside the little cat. "I understand the thrill of the game. But nowadays, I don't play for keeps. I return everything!"

Napper hung her head in shame. "Sorry, Smolder. I let Capper down big time!"

"As for you, little dog!" said Bon Bon, pointing to Yapper. "My sources say that you've buried some stolen treasure yourself!"

"It was just a few diamonds ... ," said Yapper, scratching the floor nervously. He also hung his head with shame. "They were so pretty!"

"In your kingdom," said Lyra, "diamonds may be a dime a dozen. But in Equestria, they're much more expensive."

"Yaks no steal!" boasted Yona. "Yaks honorable creatures!"

Starlight walked to the scene. She turned to the crowd. "Just remember, students! The most valuable thing of all is ... "

"Your friends!" cheered the crowd.

Starlight walked to Yapper and Napper. "My little students ... money cannot buy you friends. But some creatures sell out their friends for money. But in the end, if you care only about money, then you're shortchanging yourself."

"I guess this friendship stuff is harder than I thought," said Napper.

"Don't worry!" said Twilight. "Trust me -- Capper is a big work in progress, too!"

"And so is Queen Katherina!" added Yapper.

The little cat laughed. So did Twilight, Starlight, Trixie, and the Student 6!

Comments

[starponys87]

11044768
To Chapter #1, I added the following dialog:

"Girls," Fluttershy told Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie, "I'm really worried about Twilight. And Shining Armor and Cadance. It's not like them to act this ruthless."

"You know what, sugarcube?" said Applejack. "These alicorns ... and unicorn ... are making me nervous, too."

[starponys87]

11044768
Also, I have made this amendment (after Cadance says, "Show them no mercy!"):

"Show them no mercy!" cheered Cadance.

Fluttershy looked up at the battle above. She was deeply worried. Twilight, Cadance, and Shining Armor were looking kind of scary to her, the way they were talking and acting.

[starponys87]

11044768
To make Shining Armor's thoughts clearer and more understandable, I rewrote this dialog:

"PONIES!" called Ceridwen. "WE COME IN PEACE!"

"Why should we believe you?!" exclaimed Shining Armor, his horn glowing brighter than ever.

"WE'RE SERIOUS!" called King Danu. "WE DON'T EVEN HAVE OUR ELEMENTS ANYMORE!"

"I'm not falling for it!" shouted Shining Armor. "You are going down! Guards! Do your worst!!!"

[OP Omni God-Emperor Doom]

11046646

said Applejack. "These alicorns ... and unicorn ... are making me nervous, too.

Why the heck does Applejack say it like that?!

[starponys87]

11046708
If I am a little ignorant of the way Applejack would say things, then feel free to correct me. I am trying to make logical extrapolations of each character.

[OP Omni God-Emperor Doom]

P.S. I read your DeviantArt Page.

And I have to say, I think the rating is supposed to be a bit higher ( Like Rated Teen ). Because, the mere mentioning of killing, attempted massacre/genocide, too much serious stuff with racism/xenophobia and prejudice for a E rating.

A WORLD War against Friendship of all things, mental torture from a psychotic doctor that is obsessed with "order", and a army of child soldiers????!!!!

Isn't all of that a bit dark and way mature for a E rating right now?!

[starponys87]

11046800
I honestly thought it wasn't too far from the comics' own standards. But maybe I'm wrong.

[OP Omni God-Emperor Doom]

11046715

I just don't like on how she is phrase it. I may not be that "good" at explaining it thoroughly on what is really the main problem here, like the other commenters making great in depth criticisms.

But I try my best to explain what is the issue, so that you can know what I'm saying. Basically, when Applejack literally said These alicorns, and unicorn. It sounds like "you people" to the different skin colors ( Or in this case, a Earth pony insulting Unicrons and Alicorns. )

That is both derogatory, biased, and totally OOC for Applejack to say! Especially being this much further in the MLP Timeline. Because that's what a season 1 Applejack ( Without the character development from later seasons ) would say to Zecora for example.

And the worst part, is that she literally say it to her own best friend, her brother, and sister-in-law???!!! I know that her and the rest of the mane five are scared due to Twilight's, Shining Armor's, and Cadence's rather "uncharacteristic" attack. But that doesn't excuse her to unintentionally insult their own types of race ( Unicorn and Alicorn respectfully ).

( Plus, it kinda disrespect her own cowgirl character, and make her sound like a stereotypical redneck would say. )

You now see what I'm going with this?

Plus, why is Flurry Heart even involved in this?! Isn't she too young to be this angry, violent, and get into fights??!! That's sound like bad parenting!

[OP Omni God-Emperor Doom]

11046804

Maybe it's just me. I know that the MLP Comics themselves can be frickin dark for a kids comic. Even the show itself has mentions of war and showings of it happening, racism/xenophobic stuff, slavery, personal drama, even a alternate timeline being a wasteland, etc..

[starponys87]

11046837
It's long been my impression that the comics were made mainly for the adult bronies. It smells of fan service from beginning to end. I imagine many parents blindly give these comics to children, having no idea what's inside. I admit, the "Season 10" finale frightened me, a full-grown man.

[starponys87]

11046831
I have now revised that passage accordingly:

"You know what, sugarcube?" said Applejack. "Twilight, Shining Armor, and Cadance ... are making me nervous, too."

I had no idea that someone could take Applejack's mention of "alicorns and unicorn" as a racial slur. That was not at all the intent. But then ... I guess it would be a lot like a white saying "that black guy".

As for Flurry Heart, I just wanted to see her be a hero for once. Cadance's family was visiting, so the whole family was kind of caught off guard. In her state of mind, it just felt that it was best for the whole family if they fought together. Flurry Heart, I think, would have participated whether anyone wanted it or not.

[starponys87]

11046837
I have now done a major rewrite of Chapter #1. I hope you enjoy the new version far better!

[OP Omni God-Emperor Doom]

11047770