Prison Break
In the depths of Abacatraz, several cells hung open: one was full of taco wrappers, another was full of gym equipment, another was full of combs with clumps of orange hair, and the last one was full of old monocles. Emergency sirens repeatedly blared "PRISONER ESCAPE" throughout the magical prison.
In the courtyard outside of Abacatraz, Jorgen von Strangle stood before his forces, all of them silently and respectfully awaiting his command. His body was as stern and rigid as a mountain. Corona, Jorgen's diminutive assistant, looked at his superior expectantly. "Sir-"
"Not yet." Jorgen's voice was so firm that Corona was immediately cowed into silence, making it clear his orders were not to be disobeyed. "Not yet," he repeated in a sterner and louder tone, making sure his soldiers didn't also deviate from their routine. Any insubordination or break from the preprogrammed strategy would mean an appointment with Jorgen's unforgiving fist. They could not be too early or late, or the operation would be ruined. This had to be done with exact timing to guarantee success.
Corona looked at his pocket watch as the hands slowly approached five o'clock. Nervous sweat ran down Corona's nervous face as the clock approached the deadline, with every second feeling like an eternity.
4:59, 57 seconds, 4:59 58 seconds, 4:59 59 seconds. Corona gulped as the clock struck 5. "NOW!" Corona yelled. Jorgen immediately strode across the courtyard, wand in hand, his expression firm and brave.
He approached a solitary baking oven just as the timer went off. He walked up to the appliance and pulled out a chocolate cake.
"YES! YES!" Jorgen said triumphantly, "My mission, to bake my family's favorite sachatorte, has succeeded." He happily sniffed the aroma of the Austrian pastry. "You need to let it out at the right time, or else the layers won't be fluffy enough, or they'll be too fluffy!" He glared at his forces. "UNDERSTOOD!"
"Yes, sir," the fairy forces said in unison. "Not too fluffy!"
"You fairies can learn to make sachatorte and other tasty dishes from my new cookbook, the Joy of Cooking...AND PAIN!" Jorgen held up his cookbook. The cover illustration was a smiling Jorgen, chef's hat on his head, tossing screaming fairies into the mixing bowl.
"Uh sir," Corona offered sheepishly, "us fairies can wish up a cake. You don't have to bake a whole cake from scratch-"
"I LIKE TO BAKE CAKE!" Jorgen bellowed angrily to Corona, immediately silencing him. He turned back to glare at his forces. "You all like to bake a cake," his eyes narrowed threateningly at his troops. "Don't you?!"
"Yes, sir!" His forces said with a mixture of deference and fear.
Corona let out an annoyed sigh, but his attention was drawn back to the prisoner escape alarm blaring. "OK, sir, now that you've baked your cake, can we please stop those prisoners from escaping?" The fairy assistant pleaded in a frantic tone.
"OK, OK, jeez," Jorgen said, sounding like a kid who didn't want to do his chores. "No need to be pushy, Corona." He looked to his forces with a commanding expression. "SCRAMBLE THE FAIRIES!" Jorgen's fairy forces flew into the sky, sailing through the airspace of Abacatraz, looking for the threat above.
"OK, sir," Corona continued. "Now that we've scrambled the fairies, what do you want us to do?"
A brief look of confusion formed on the face of the Keeper of the Rules. "Uh, I don't know. I never thought I'd get this far."
Corona barely resisted the urge to facepalm. "Then why did you-"
"I LIKE TO SCRAMBLE THE FAIRIES!" Jorgen said before talking up his massive wand and striding toward the prison complex.
Three sirens turned human, and two anti-fairies stood on the roof of Abacatraz and looked at the fairy forces flying toward them with malicious gazes. Adagio and Anti-Cosmo turned and looked at the escape rocket on the opposite side of the roof they procured with pride, then turned toward one another and smirked.
"They think they can stop us," Anti-Cosmo contemptuously told the eldest siren.
"They can't think their way out of a paper bag," Adagio muttered. The two snickered. "I can't think of a bigger bunch of buffoons-"
"Taco time!" the head anti-fairy and the two older sirens looked annoyed as the youngest siren ignored the battle to munch on a taco.
"Sonata," Adagio said warningly, "what's rule #1?"
"Shutting up," Sonata said obliviously.
"And rule #2?" Adagio said, warning, holding out her hand.
"No eating during evil plans," Sonata said sadly before handing the taco to her stern eldest sister with a sad sigh.
"Sweetie," Anti-Wanda said sympathetically to the youngest siren, "y'all can't eat tacos like that."
"Thank you, my dear," Anti-Cosmo said with relief that his ditzy wife was taking things seriously for once.
"Y'all gots to eats them like this!" Anti-Wanda chirped excitedly, wishing up a taco and eating it with her feet. "They tastes so much better with yer feets!" The anti-fairy drawled.
"Let me try," Sonata said happily, using her feet to eat the tacos. The youngest siren's sister gave a happy cheer as she fed herself using her lower extremities. "They do taste so much better," the youngest siren exclaimed to an equally cheerful Anti-Wanda. Aria let out a shudder of disgust at her younger sister and Anti-Wanda eating with their feet while Adagio and Anti-Cosmo facepalmed, wondering what they both had done in their past lives to deserve being stuck with their younger sister and wife, respectively.
Adagio turned away from the two idiots and looked into the sky as their enemy approached. "EVERYBODY!" Adagio bellowed. "Get into position." The five escapees looked daringly at the approaching army. "Remember, we can't use the rocket until they're all knocked out of the sky!"
"Time to take out the trash," Aria said with a smirk and a tone of voice that reeked of daring and adventure. She wandered over to the edge of the roof.
And took a trash bag and tossed it into a conveniently located dumpster.
"Thank you for taking out the trash, Aria," Sonata said with honest gratitude. "It was really stinky!"
"Now, let's beat up those idiots." Adagio grunted.
A battalion consisting of five dozen fairies flew up to the team of escapees, about to engage in a plan so daring that no one could ever imagine it. "BEGIN PLAN 1, NOW!" Jorgen bellowed from the ground. With that, a fairy battalion flew up to their quarry. The five prisoners watched with bated breath as the battalion raised their wands and POOF!
With a wave of their wands, the battalion's leader was clad in a nice sweater, fashionable jeans, and an unassuming haircut with blond hair. He pulled out a cue card and read it. "Can you please....not escape and return to your cells?" He asked in a polite yet bashful voice.
"No," Adagio replied flatly.
The blond-haired fairy flew back to Jorgen. "She said no," he said in a disappointed tone.
Jorgen was incredulous. "What?!" The toughest fairy in the universe facepalmed in annoyance before letting out an annoyed sigh. "OK, try Plan B." The blond fairy flew back to the escaping prisoners. "Pretty please don't escape and try to take over the world again?"
"No," Anti-Cosmo said flatly. The blond fairy flew back to Jorgen with a tired sigh, lamenting that his politeness failed.
"They won't surrender, and I even said pretty please," he complained. "It's not fair."
Jorgen rolled his eyes and held up his wand. "I guess it's time to try our backup plan." He pulled out a folder, put on glasses, and began reading. "Time to start Operation: Blast the Enemy Until They Fall Unconscious Or Die-" he paused as he turned the page,"-Which Ever One Comes First!"
The fairy soldiers took the sky with a battle cry, ready to blast the escaping criminals. The anti-fairies and sirens watched this with confident smirks. "OK, get into position!" Adagio bellowed. The five escapees wandered over the various parts of the roof. One fairy lieutenant and his privates flew toward Adagio with merciless expressions. As their wands lit up, Adagio began taunting them.
"Hey, midgets!" The eldest siren mocked. "Are you challenging me to a battle?!"
"Yes!" Said the commander barked, his wand preparing to fire.
Adagio's smirk became even more pronounced."A...competition, of sorts?"
"Yeah, why-" the commander paused when he realized he and his soldier's wands flickered out of existence. The commander realized he had been tricked into breaking the no-competition rule, leaving him momentarily powerless. The commander became more fearful as Anti-Cosmo flew up to him with a cold smirk.
"You pathetic fairies have so much power but so many rules," the monocle-wearing anti-fairy mocked scornfully. "Unfortunately for you...I don't have rules!" The fairy exclaimed with a sinister expression. Before the fairy commander could react, anti-Cosmo's dark magic blasted him and his forces away.
Aria was running around the roof, dodging fairy magic blasts and taunting the soldiers blasting her. "C'mon, my grandma can hit better than you!" Blast. "You couldn't hit water if you fell out of the boat!" Blast. "A blind man would have better aim!" Blast. Aria took a deep breath as she prepared for her most cutting and harsh taunt.
"You didn't deserve all your recommendations for military school and should've been kept in the reserves."
Angered by all these taunts, the commander blasted Aria without concern for aim or coordination. Smirking, Aria lept out of the way of the blasts, which knocked over a collection of salt shakers that stood behind the pigtailed siren. Anti-Wanda smirked as she felt the delicious power of bad luck empower her. The commander's eyes widened in horror as he realized he had been played. His fear grew as he saw Anti-Wanda and Aria giving him vicious smiles.
"It's like a trip to the spa!" Anti-Wanda chirped before glaring at the other commander with an evil grin and raising her wand.
"Wait-," the commander pleaded, only to be crushed by a bad luck-created anvil. Aria finished the fairy soldiers with a special bazooka to fire butterfly nets, leaving them powerless.
Sonata seemed frightened and shaking as another battalion of fairies approached her. The commander was gruff and unsympathetic as he approached the seemingly helpless siren. "Any last words?" He muttered as his wand lit up.
"Yes," Sonata said. "Do you like...tacos?"
The commander and his forces were confused by this stupid question. "Yes," he replied with confusion and annoyance.
"The Bacon and Cheese Breakfast Burrito from Burrito Barn." After hearing about the tasty human dish, the commander and his forces salivated.
"Yes, actually," the commander said, his stern expression giving way to one of hunger. "I really would like one."
"Would you...wish for one?"
"Yes-," the commander and his forces said at once, only to realize their magic had been deactivated. The shocked fairies looked at the youngest siren's clueless expression, which became one of vicious calculation.
"It's 10:32," the siren said, pointing to her wristwatch before pulling out a giant butterfly net and trapping the fairies with a cackle.
The sirens and anti-fairies gradually wore down the fairy soldiers by either tricking them into breaking their own rules or deceiving them into causing bad luck to empower the anti-fairies. Within a few moments, the fairy forces had all been defeated, with only the Dazzlings, Anti-Cosmo, and Anti-Wanda still standing.
Adagio smiled with pride over their victory. "Well, that takes care of that-" paused as she felt the building nearly shaking apart.
"FEE FI FO FUM!" Jorgen bellowed as he began scaling the prison walls, the building shaking so hard debris began falling off as he got closer and closer to the roof. "I SMELL CRIMINAL SCUM!"
"Prepare the biological weapon!" Adagio commanded. The anti-fairies and the three sirens put on gas masks as they brought out a canister with a biohazard label. With trepidation, they opened the canister and revealed the weapon inside.
It was a Burrito Barn Mega Taco that was as big as an oven. Sonata and Anti-Wanda broke it in half and devoured it. Within a few moments, a massive rumbling came from their stomachs.
"Here it comes!" Sonata and Anti-Wanda squealed in unison while clutching her bellies.
"BE YOU ALIVE OR BE YOU DEAD, " The Toughest Fairy In the Universe yelled as he reached the roof. "I'LL GRIND YOUR BONES TO MAKE MY BREA-" A sound like two broken trumpets echoed, followed by a cloud of deadly yellow gas! "AHH!" Jorgen wailed as the toxic fumes choked. "My lungs. My eyes! This gas is so horrible!" Jorgen dropped his massive wand as he fell on his hands and knees, coughing and retching from the poisonous fumes. With the fumes cleared, Jorgen saw his escapees had run away to rocket. He picked up his wand and charged with a determined expression until he noticed a shadow surrounding him.
He looked up, and to his horror, he saw a massive butterfly net hurdling toward him. He tried to move out of the way, only for the deadly implement to land on top of him anyway. "LET ME OUT!" Jorgen bellowed, but to his frustration, he couldn't use magic to get out or tear the net apart with his massive strength. Jorgen let out an impotent growl.
The escaped criminals barrelled into the rocket. Adagio and Anti-Cosmo entered the cockpit, and the former tried to activate the blast-off, only for the scanner to reveal a problem. "TOO MUCH WEIGHT," the rocket's control panel said. Adagio banged her fist and growled. "Adagio dear," Anti-Cosmo said encouragingly, "there is no need to let your emotions consume you." Anti-Cosmo's soothing tone helped Adagio calm down slightly, but her frustration was still evident in her tone. "There is a solution to every problem. All we have to do is jettison some useless weight."
"Honey-bun," Anti-Wanda chirped, holding a box of pastries in her feet, "y'all ever tried eaten' donuts with yer feets." The eldest siren and head of the anti-fairies looked at each other before turning to Anti-Wanda with a smirk.
"Anti-Wanda dear," Anti-Cosmo smirked. "Would you please surrender yourself to the authorities for us?"
"Sure," Anti-Wanda said casually, leaping out of the rocket. With that, Adagio activated the booster rockets successfully, and within a few moments, the rocket blasted off from the prison, with the Sirens and Anti-Cosmo cheering euphorically.
"We got away!" Aria cheered. "And nothing of value was lost!"
"What about Anti-Wanda?" Sonata asked with some concern.
"Nothing of value was lost," Aria repeated.
"OK!" Sonata said, shrugging her shoulders.
As soon as Anti-Wanda left the rocket, it took off without her. She took a napkin and waved it, wishing her husband and the girls goodbye. "Bye, honey-bun!" Anti-Wanda chirped lovingly. Just as she was about to devour her donuts, she noticed a massive shadow over her body. She turned and saw Jorgen had escaped the butterfly net, an unforgiving glare on his face. "Hey, Jor-Jor," Anti-Wanda cheered, offering her a donut. "Want a-?" Anti-Wanda paused as Jorgen's unforgiving boot crushed her.
Felix T. Nebula squirmed in his chair as Jorgen gave him a calm yet stern gaze. After the escape, Jorgen had organized an inquiry of the prison staff to determine how the Dazzlings and the Anti-Fairies could organize an escape. "So you encountered the Dazzlings on the loading dock?" the massive fairy asked calmly.
Felix T. Nebula squirmed as he recalled those suspicious movers on the loading dock.
"So let's see," Felix chirped happily as he glanced at the shipping order on his clipboard. The two dockworkers he was communicating with were an unusual pair. If not for the brown mustaches on their faces, he would've mistaken them for human girls, one with purple pigtails and the other with a blue ponytail. "A pack of black cats, several salt shakers, a massive fully stocked escape rocket, butterfly nets, a massive butterfly net launcher, and one massive butterfly net-" he paused, looking down at his clipboard for a second, "-did you say elephant-sized?"
"No," said the man with purple pigtails, "Jorgen-sized."
"Oh yeah, Jor-Gen" said Felix, elongating the syllables, "J-O-R-G-E-N, my mistake." He began writing the details down. He put down the clipboard. "I'm sorry, what was the name of your company again?"
"Uh," the ponytailed man said nervously, "Local... out-of-town moving company?" She timidly handed over her business card while the pigtail mover rolled her eyes.
It read "Local Out Of Town Moving Company." It looks like it was written in crayon and on an old newspaper.
"Alright, everything seems in order," Felix said, but just before he flew off, a nagging thought caused him to turn back to the movers he had spoken with. "Say, are you two organizing a prison escape?" Felix asked the blue-haired man.
"Yes, we are!" The ponytailed man said.
"Wait, what?"
"I said we're trying to break out of prison!" The man with the pigtails yelled. "What don't you get about that?!"
"OK, just checking! Sorry," Felix said reassuringly to the movers before flying back into the loading dock.
Jorgen just gave the forlorn fairy a blank stare. "What?" Felix replied defensively, "I thought their honesty was something to admire. Jorgen stared blankly at the loading dock fairy before a reassuring smile appeared on the toughest fairy's face.
"See Felix," Jorgen said warmly, patting Felix on the face, "I'm not angry." Felix looked to his boss with a hopeful expression before Jorgen lovingly crushed him with his fist.
"I'm not angry," Jorgen repeated as he happily bashed Felix's face against the wall. The toughest fairy proceeded to tear Felix's arms off tenderly. The toughest fairy in the universe magnanimously slammed Felix's body into the ground with nothing but warmth and care on his face. He kindly and gregariously broke Felix's spine in two.
"I'm not angry."
"Good show, dearies!" Anti-Cosmo said magnanimously. There was honest praise in his voice, which the sirens happily accepted. "We managed to escape without any great turbulence."
Suddenly, a massive amount of turbulence struck their escape rocket, causing the door to be violently wrenched open. The sudden shift in air pressure caused a gust of wind that sucked everything out of the rocket that wasn't nailed down. While the sirens could hold on for dear life, the more diminutive anti-Cosmo was painfully bounced around the rocket and nearly pulled out, much to the horror of the sirens turned humans.
"Adagio!" Anti Cosmo pleaded fearfully as he hung from the edge of the entrance. "Please help me." The escaped criminal wished he could use his wings to fly or teleport away, but he didn't even have enough power to flap his wings, having used up most of it in the escape attempt. Adagio carefully approached the imperiled anti-fairy and extended one of her hands.
Only to retract it and slam one of her boots onto Anti-Cosmo's hand, much to his horror. "Adagio! What are-, " looked up and found nothing but cruelty in Adagio's eyes. "Long live the queen," Adagio said in a cold tone that dripped with megalomania.
"You-YOU TREASONOUS LITTLE-!" Anti-Cosmo snarled in a rage, only to let out a wail of pain as the boot ground further into Anti-Cosmo's hand.
"Nothing personal, Anti-Cosmo," Adagio said in a cold, neutral tone. She then let out a cruel laugh. "You are a good and faithful servant...but only I may live forever."
"Adagio," Anti-Cosmo whimpered, hurt by her apparent betrayal and the fact that she only saw him as a tool for power. The anti-fairy watched with horror as Adagio raised her other boot, ready to finish him off while sneering at him.
Only to suddenly lift the first boot off his hand and pull him safely into the rocket before pulling an emergency lever that closed the door, finally stabilizing the cabin pressure. Anti-Cosmo looked up and saw Adagio giving him a teasing smile.
"Gotcha!"
Adagio started laughing at him mockingly like she'd seen a hilarious comedy. "You should've seen your face!" Her two younger sisters are also laughing so hard at Anti-Cosmo's expense. "You actually thought I was gonna betray you and seize ultimate power?!" Adagio paused before continuing to laugh uncontrollably.
Anti-Cosmo's confusion gave way to annoyance. "You...you...you...little scamp!" He started joining along with the laughter mirthfully. "You had me going there!" When the laughter ended, Anti-Cosmo jubilantly flew into the mess hall of the rocket, offering to cook a decent meal for his charges to assure them there were no hard feelings over Adagio's jest.
"I thought you were gonna do it, Adagio," Aria commented when anti-Cosmo left the cabin, impressed with her older sister's acting ability.
"Yeah, that would've been really funny," Sonata chirped.
"I'd be an idiot to try that for real," Adagio said with a roll of her eyes.
Having been a siren, Adagio was guilty of many things: lying, stealing, brainwashing others for power, and removing the "do not remove tag" from the mattress when no one was looking. It was all a small price to pay so she could achieve the greater good: power for herself and her sisters, which was the ultimate good of life itself.
But she would never backstab someone she considered a valuable ally. Not only was it wrong to betray someone who worked for you, but if you did it too many times, it meant no one wanted to work with you. Adagio understood that while she was a being of beauty and potential, she couldn't achieve power alone. That was why, aside from sisterly love, she didn't cast out Aria and Sonata despite being exasperated by their constant fights and idiocy. You had to work with others and treat them generously to maintain power. King Sombra was the prime example of this, having enslaved and brutalized not only his subjects but his allies to the point that nopony came to his aid when the pony princesses tore down his authoritarian rule.
The servant looked at her King Sombra, hoping she would grant him the tiniest amount of pity for her mistake. But alas, her hopes were misplaced. "You, servant, served my dinner three minutes late. Executed!"
A soldier burst in with a wide smile. "Yes, I won the toy in the cereal boy." King Sombra sneered at his soldier. As king, only he was entitled to such things as cereal box prizes. There was only one option.
"Executed!"
The Royal Sisters arrived on the balcony of King Sombra's palace. To their amazement, King Sombra had been waiting there with no sign of fear on his face.
"We hold the power of the celestial bodies, and yet you choose to face us alone?" Princess Luna uttered in a seemingly conversational tone that barely masked her contempt and desire to vanquish this horrible pest.
"Either you are arrogant or just stupid." Princess Celestia commented in a similar pretense of calm.
"I am not arrogant!" King Sombra replied. "I have both the power of the shadow," he paused with a smirk, "and the power of my mighty army!" The wicked king said dramatically. The pony princesses looked expectantly, only for nopony or any other creature to show. A look of profound embarrassment crossed the king's face before his arrogant demeanor returned. "I said, 'the power of my mighty army.' "
"Uh, sir." A weedy-looking unicorn pony with glasses and a clipboard showed up. "You had the army executed last week for laziness."
Sombra let out an annoyed snarl. "Very well," the dark king said with restrained patience. "Bring me the conscripts."
"Executed for five seconds late," the aid said as if reading from a grocery list. Sombra looked at his lowly assistant with barely contained rage.
"What about the servants?"
"Executed."
"Cooks?"
"Executed."
"Lawyers?" Sombra squealed with angry desperation.
"Already dead inside."
Sombra looked aghast. "Why didn't the executioner tell me this? It's his fault." Sombra knew there was only one solution. "My lowly servant-"
"Uh y-y-y-y-y-you had him executed last week for bothering you while reading." The aid uttered with enormous embarrassment on his face.
Sombra looked at this aid angrily. "What didn't you tell me this!"
The aid was shaking. "Because you executed the last person who bothered you."
"That is no excuse!" King Sombra said maliciously. "Aid, you are to be executed!"
"But you executed your executioner!" The wimpy unicorn protested.
"Execute yourself!" King Sombra ordered impatiently as if it was the most apparent solution in the world. The aid looked at King Sombra incredulously before letting out a tired and resigned "OK" and wandering off to do the deed. King Sombra rolled his eyes as the pathetic worm wandered off. It was hard to find good help under normal circumstances, but being too lazy to execute yourself proved how entitled ponies were nowadays. But once he crushed those two worms, he would take over Equestria and whip the pathetic ponies into shape.
"I don't need an army to fight-" King Sombra barely finished the sentence before he was bonked on the mallet held by the Lunar Princess. The dazed King let out a crazed cackle before falling to the ground, the two lunar princesses acting as if all they had done was stomp a tiny ant.
She almost considered Turner to be an ally after seeing his potential and was generous enough to offer him to share the spoils rather than treat him like any other human scum. But the ungrateful little brat decided to be greedy, daring to keep all the power for himself and leaving her with nothing. She nearly saw that stupid nerd Moondancer as one, seeing her sheer hatred for Sunset Shimmer and the Rainbooms, but the little weakling got cold feet and backstabbed her before she could finish that pathetic unicorn. She'd offer those two the world, and they threw it in her face. It was a slight that Adagio was determined to punish once she regained power. She would make those human brats suffer for their defiance and betrayal. To be a proper ruler, she had to make an example of what happened to the disobedient, and those two losers were perfect targets for her wrath.
Her past experiences with the buck-toothed brat and the four-eyes made her wary of Anti-Cosmo, thinking he would be another flip-flop. But after a few days, Anti-Cosmo proved to her that he was genuine in his desire to regain power, as long as she helped him in his goals. Adagio also genuinely liked Anti-Cosmo: he was quite the charmer and the gentleman. He also shared his belief that power and authority should only be reserved for the worthy.
But then the memory of that stupid bucktoothed brat emerged in her brain again. Aria noticed the growl on her older sister's face. "What's gotten into you?" Aria asked.
"Turner," said the name filling Adagio with even more anger than any human scum ever could make her feel. "We offered the brat power, and he threw it in our faces." A slight pause ensued. "We did steal it from him, but we were nice enough to return some of it. He will pay for getting in the way of our greatness."
A teasing smirk formed on the middle Dazzling's mouth. "Aww, what's the matter?" Aria asked her older sister in an ironic tone. "Upset your ex-boyfriend didn't give you a smooch?" Aria expected her sister to react acerbically. Instead, Adagio gave Aria a cold glare. "What?" Aria asked defensively.
"Aria Ariel Blaze," Sonata said to Aria scoldingly. "What is wrong with you?!" Aria was stunned seeing her dumb sibling genuinely admonish her.
"Wh-"
"Do you want people to think I'm dating ten-year-olds?!" Adagio asked angrily.
"But-"
"Young lady!" Aria turned to see Anti-Cosmo returning from the galley with a tray of food and a stern look on his face. "I slave over a hot wand to prepare you girls for your chance as future despots! And I find you indulging in blue humor unbecoming of a lady of your station?!"
"I-"
"You may be an evil despot who intends to destroy your enemies, but I will not stand for crass behavior! Report to your quarters immediately. And no supper!" Anti-Cosmo said in a fatherly tone.
Aria's expression became defensive over some midget ordering her around. "You're not the boss of me-" Aria's protests stopped as Anti-Cosmo yanked her by her ear. "OK, OK, I'm going!" Aria yelled as Anti-Cosmo led her back to her quarters by her ear.
Adagio and Sonata both smirked, seeing someone put Aria in her place.
"HA HA HA HA HA!" Sonata laughed, only to remember she still had food in her mouth and began choking.
"And you, Sonata," Anti-Cosmo said softly but admonishingly. "Your table manners are less that of a princess and more of a disgusting boar!"
"Hey!" Sonata protested. "I am not a disgusting boar-," only to start sniffing and snorting like a boar. She looked on the floor and saw a taco on the ground. "Dirty, moldy taco that's been stepped on!" Sonata savored with drool coming out of her mouth. "You are mine!" She dove toward the floor, only for anti-Cosmo to yank her by her shirt back to the table and force her back into her seat.
"Either you eat like a civilized young lady, or you go right to your quarters with nothing to eat at all," Anti-Cosmo warned while presenting her with some utensils.
Sonata took the knife and fork with an annoyed huff. "Fine!" Sonata whined before eating her meal more calmly.
Adagio watched this with no small amount of joy on her face. Anti-Cosmo was intelligent and charming, and he was teaching her two younger sisters manners. Anti-Cosmo was truly one-in-a-million; with his help, Adagio knew nothing would stop her plans.
"So how are we gonna keep Jarhead from comin' after us?" Adagio asked, her joy replaced with a more severe expression. She may have hated the musclebound oaf, but he did have a lot of magic.
Anti-Cosmo smirked. "Don't worry, Adagio," the anti-fairy assured her with a savage grin. "I have something to distract that pathetic boob!"
Binky was whimsically flying down Fairy World's main street, his arms full of shopping bags. "Nothing could ruin this perfect day," the little fairy chirped.
Only a massive blast to suddenly blow him backward. When he rubbed the light out of his eyes and looked up, he found Jorgen looming over him with a menacing expression. "There you are, 'Binky'. Or should I say...anti-Cosmo!" Jorgen yelled, his massive wand lighting up as he prepared to attack.
Binky was confused until he realized a sign that read, "I am Anti-Cosmo disguised as Binky," had been placed with string over his neck."Jorgen, wait," Binky yelled out in terror, taking the sign off his neck and throwing it away. "It's me, Binky!"
Jorgen's burning rage gave way to something colder. "Breaking out of prison is one thing...but impersonating sweet, innocent Binky crosses the line!" Jorgen's face was so angry that veins were visible on her forehead. Jorgen chased after Binky. Fairy World echoed with the sound of blasting and Binky's pathetic shrieks.
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Awwww poor Timmy
Is it wrong I feel bad for Sonata and Anti-Wanda?
After two years, this series is back! Pretty strong opening.
Figures Anti-Wanda would be dumped early on, makes you wonder how she even married Anti-Cosmo at all if he willingly uses his wife as canon fodder.
Looks like Sombra's big problem as a ruler came from constantly resorting to execution for every minor slight, leaving him with no defense against Celestia and Luna.
So, any reason you didn't use the Main 7 (EqG) tag like the last story? Does this imply human Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy won't be involved this time?
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Why? Stupid Evil is not less evil. You have already read how they behave when given the upper hand.
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But Stupid Evil is one of the more reformable evils.
I will say this, The Dazzlings using the weaknesses and their rules against them was very clever. I mean tricking them with breakfast food that's past 10:30AM & the competition is smart. Also if they have wish power again, I wonder if they'll might wish for a lawyer like Timmy did with Norm the Genie to got against Celestia. I mean no even princesses can go against the people or should I say the creatures of their world who have rights.
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Well Wanda did say she married Cosmo because she makes her laugh and the Anti versions of the fairies are mostly opposite versions of their personalities. I mean have you seen Anti-Jorgen?
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Sonata, yes. Anti-Wanda... eh... its hard to say given that she's the dumbest Anti-Fairy as Cosmo is the dumbest Fairy.
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Meh
Ha, gladly you are back with more odd parents and sunset, and Dazzlings here, I will enjoy this like you wouldn't believe :D.
It's been a long wait, and I say the first chapter is going strong.
It was brilliant the way Anti-Cosmo and The Dazzlings (the Sirens) used the fairy's weakness of the rules and butterfly nets to defeat them. You're the first person I've seen someone exploding their weakness like that, or I could be forgetting someone else doing that either in canon or another fan fiction, but still, this is a unique idea, and I commend you for your brilliant writing.
Anti-Cosmo abandoning his wife surprised me; he was always annoyed with her, but at the same time, he never seemed to hate her or be apathetic towards her. I read another story showing that they love each other despite their flaws. Of course, this is your story; I understand if you feel better differently. If you think about it, Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda's dysfunctional marriage isn't all that different from the regular Cosmo and Wanda, but it appears that in this story, Cosmo and Wanda genuinely love each other while Anti-Cosmo does not love his wife. Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but how much Anti-Cosmo abandoning his wife would affect the story? Fairies and anti-fairies are supposed to be mirrors of themselves; of course, they are opposites, but some things seem the same, like marriages and children, with Anti-Cosmo abandoning his wife. What does that say about Cosmo and Wanda's marriage? Again, maybe I'm just reading too much into this.
Now, on to The Dazzlings (the Sirens); it was great to see them back in the story and your characteristics of them shine through.
Sonata Dusk still has the perfect balance of sweetness and dizziness with callousness and cruelty. I loved how she genuinely appeared to bond with Anti-Wanda and was concerned when they left her behind, but when her sisters said they lost nothing of value, she just shrugged and moved on. A lot of people think that Sonata Dusk is the most redeemable of her sisters, and while she may be dizzy and kind at times, she is still as evil as her sisters in your previous story shows; I'm not saying that redeeming the character is not possible and I seen other stories do that, but at the same time it's showing that she has no problem doing evil and being cruel. Personally, I think it would've been possible to show her more broken up about leaving Anti-Wanda, but her shrugging and just moving on without caring about abandoning Anti-Wanda is entirely in her character. Perhaps if she had more time to bond with Anti-Wanda, she would've been more unhappy leaving her, but that's just a guess.
You really nailed both Adagio Dazzle's practicality and inability to understand well. She is willing to share power with Timmy Turner and Moondancer and decides not to betray Anti-Cosmo mainly because he knows that betraying and abusing your allies and minions will eventually take me in the butt and when is the reason she never abandoned her sisters other than her love for them is practicality. Of course, she fails to see why Timmy Turner and Moondancer Turned on her in the first place, not understanding that they don't care about power and are against her and her sisters for moral reasons. I loved Adagio Dazzle's reaction when her sister Aria Blaze called Timmy her boyfriend, and she didn't get a chance to kiss him. Adagio is disgusted at the thought of being involved with a 10-year-old. It is angry that her sister would even joke about something like that; she does have some standards if nothing else. That reminds me of fairy odd parent fanfiction in My Sick Little World; Vicky was confronted by her dark side; she was skeptical, saying that she is the dark side, but when she learned that her dark side has a repressed attraction towards Timmy Turner, she was disgusted saying that Dad was just sick and wrong, she admitted that she might be depraved, but there are certain lines she would not cross and that she's still a human being. Also, it looks like Anti-Cosmo is taking the role of the father figure and evil mentor towards The Dazzlings (the Sirens). I'm interested in where their relationship will go.
This was a great first chapter, and I am looking forward to this new story in future chapters.
Awesome! The sequel is finally here!
I'm gonna take a shot in the dark and say that the first friends Timmy makes in Equestria will either be Dinky or Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.
i.redd.it/ye1bqtmgj9761.jpg
Can't wait to see what Cosmo and Wanda turned into when they went to Equestria?
Although their shapeshifting might be problematic as the Equestrian has a bad experience with shapeshifter.
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I dumped Anti-Wanda early on because while having one dim character in a group can be good, having too many idiots makes the story more annoying to read than cute. Sonata already filled the quota for "team idiot" and I felt having her together with Anti-Wanda would make the story more unpleasant than funny.
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I wanted the Dazzlings to come across as formidable bad guys who can plan and think.
So thank you for your words.
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Thank you.
Thank you. I wanted Anti-Cosmo and the Dazzlings to come across as genuine threats than goofballs.
It's not that I hate Anti-Wanda. But I think her, together with Sonata, would make come across as annoyingly stupid rather than laughably stupid. Like how Pinky and the Brain got dumb when Elmyra was tossed in with them. She had to go.
Sweet and spice doesn't make everything nice.
Your analysis of Adagio was very spot on. I want her to come across as an intelligent and practical but still narcissistic and self-centered person who only values people when they are tools.
And yes, Anti-Cosmo being an evil father figure is how I wanted him to come across.
Thanks for this large review.
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Fair
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Definitely makes sense. Curious, what did you think of Forgotten Friendship? I know you weren't a fan of how they handle Wallflower Blush's motivation for still holding a grudge against Sunset, but how did other aspects of the special fare like Sunset and Celestia's reconciliation, Sunset and Trixie's newfound friendship, and the scene of Sunset taking the blast to lose all her high school memories if it meant the other 6 would keep theirs?
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All that was pretty good, but still the worse villain motivation besides "my best friend moved away."
Adagio is seriously playing with fire here. After her last defeat, she got off relatively easy. She goes too far this time, and she might not live long enough to regret it.
Or even worse, she DOES.
Glad to see the sequel, can't wait for the next chapter!
Da Rules need rewritten.
Nice chapter and also the comment about the ten year old dating?
Yes it is a joke, but lets remember three things.
1) She isn't trying to date a ten year old.
2) She is essentially immortal and out lived entire nations.
3) laugh as much as you want, but we have seen how A LOT OF WOMEN are attracted to the older Timmy. A joke today might be different in eight more years.
Also got to admit... Anti-Cosmo acting as the dad of their group was not what I was expecting.
And here I thought he was getting ready to capture the escaped prisoners from Abacatraz. I stand incorrect.
That's... nice?
That's disgusting.
What a great idea. Not.
"Wait!" The commander pleaded,*
"Yes!" The commander*
Idiot!
Dear lord!
What are you-" looked up*
I could tell the line is a reference to lion king.
It looked like it.
Why a do not remove tag from a mattress of all things?
mighty army'."*
Lmao!!!
Poor Binky.
Again the fairies were defeated by their one true weakness, bureaucracy
To be honest, the tone here really clashes with the tone of the second half of the first story. In short, The Dazzlings aren't comedy villains, but you wrote their escape like one would write a comedic villain escape. The Dazzlings psychologically physically and emotionally tortured a 10 year old child. They aren't fun villains, they're villains I actively dislike, I feel negative emotions when they're in a scene and that's good writing.
But when you write this goofy escape it's just, I'm not laughing at the jokes, they're funny jokes but I'm not laughing, because the Dazzlings aren't funny villains. Jorgen being stupid here isn't goofy it's infuriating, these three people severely traumatized a child and none of the characters are taking that crime seriously like it should. It was sort of a big deal when Jorgen originally showed up that when he realized what the Dazzlings did he took it seriously, he calls Timmy weak and pathetic and then turns around and says "but he doesn't deserve to be tormented by monsters as foul as you."
Don't get me wrong this level of stupidity is definitely canon. But that's why Fairly Odd Parents villains are all written to be comedy villains. You aren't meant to take any of the villains seriously. You wrote serious villains who are seriously fucked up.