On The Wings of a Dream

by Shadowswipe

Chapter 2

You awake the next day, the sun making the curtains in your room glow. You sit up and stretch your wings. You slide off the bad and plant your feet on the floor, you blink a couple times, trying to get the tired feeling out of your eyes. You walk out of your room and down the stairs, ducking as you go. Once again you remember this was a pony house, not a griffin house.

Your mind is plagued with images of the griffin from yesterday. It was strange to see another griffin, especially with a pony. Either way you were still surprised.

You look over at the clock on the wall; it was too early for the market to be open. You decide to go for another stroll.

The morning air was crisp; the sun was just passing over the buildings. Fall was fast approaching, the trees were still going strong though. The ground was soggy with the morning dew. You watched the early morning ponies do their usual routine; shop keeps went to their stores and the weather pegasi cleared some of the clouds, allowing the heat of the sun to warm the air. You look up and see a familiar rainbow maned mare clearing the skies. You fly over and greet her.

“Good morning.” You say flying up to the mare.

“Oh hey, what’s up?” She replies.

“Nothing much. I didn’t know you part of the weather corp.” You say.

“Yeah, I’ve been part of the corp for a while now.” She say while pushing a cloud out of the way.

“Huh, where’s your friend?” You ask.

“Which one?” She replies.

“The griffin.” You reply.

“Oh she’s back at home. She won’t be up for another hour or so. She always was a late sleeper.” Rainbow Dash says with a chuckle.

“You were saying?” You hear a voice say from above you. You look up and see a griffin popping her head through the cloud.

“Oh hey Gilda, you’re usually up really late, so I was just assuming you were going to be up late today.” Rainbow says.

“Well you know what they say about assuming.” Gilda said. She rolls off her cloud and pumps her wings. She’s now hovering beside you. You look over at her; the colors of her feathers intrigued you.

“Morning.” You say.

“What? Oh yeah, morning.” Gilda said, her tone very sarcastic. You roll your eyes at her sarcasm.

“So, what brings a griffin to Ponyville?” You ask.

“Visiting Dash, I haven’t seen her since we left Junior Speedster Flight Camp. What brings you here?” Gilda asks.

“I live here. I moved from here from Cloudsdale.” You reply.

“That’s cool. Hey Dash what do you want to today?” Gilda says to Rainbow Dash.

“I doubt I can hang today, the weather schedule is pretty messed today. We have to change the weather for three different cities today. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but trust me, it’s a lot.” Rainbow said. You see Gilda’s shoulders drop slightly.

“Alright Dash, I guess I’ll catch ya later.” Gilda said.

“Wait, Gilda, maybe we could hang?” You offer.

“What? You? What would we do?” She asks confused.

“Well, seeing as you’re new in town, I could show you around.” You say.

“Meh, why not,” Gilda says, she shrugs and takes off. “I’ll see ya on the ground!” She calls back. You look over and see Rainbow Dash holding in a smile.

“Are you okay?” You ask.

“Yeah, I’m just picturing your little griffin babies with their little griffin wings, and their little griffin tails.” Rainbow Dash says while chuckling.

“I’m just going to show her around town, it’s not like I like her or anything. I just know how some ponies treat griffins.” You say.

“Yeah yeah, just don’t get her to preggers.” Rainbow says, full out laughing now. You just roll your eyes and fly away.

You scan the ground below looking for Gilda; your eyes straining to see further along the road. Finally you spot her. You glide down beside her, she looks back at you.

“It’s about time.” She says.

“Dash and I had a little chat.” You reply.

“Whatever. Let’s get the ‘tour’ started.” She says, an annoyed tone in her voice.

“Alright. Well right now we’re outside Ponyville market, it’s a friendly place, and you can find lots of fresh fruit and cheap nic nacs there.” You say.

The two of you walk down the dirt path past the market. The air was growing warmer as the pegasi clear the skies. Your feathers are damp from the early morning dew; you give a little shake and you feel the dampness disappear. The gravel and dirt crunches under both of your feet as you walk. You look over at Gilda, her feathers gleaming in the sun, they still looked damp, and maybe that’s what made her shimmer. You were lost in what you saw.

It’s not very often you see another griffin, especially a female griffin, now that you’ve found one will you make a move, maybe you should get to know her first, and maybe find out how long she’s staying for.

“How long will you be in town?” You ask, breaking the silence.

“Don’t know yet, this place seems a little dry for me, not much to do for fun around here. I might just stay for a few days.” Gilda replied.

“It’s not all bad; there are a few good flying spots in town.” You say.

You look forward and see the path becoming cobble.

“We’re approaching the town square, this is where all the politics happens, you can also find the wealthy ponies living here.” You say.

“Where do you live?” Gilda asks.

“Me? I’m on the outskirts of the town.” You reply.

“I see…” Gilda trails off.

The sky was completely clear now. The sun was warm on your feathers, and now you can hear the birds start to sing. Gilda seems to be not impressed with your little “tour”. You can see the boredom welling up inside of her. You look down and sigh.

“What’s wrong with you?” Gilda asks, she almost sounds offended.

“I’m boring you.” You say.

“Everyone does, it’s nothing personal.” Gilda responds.

“I’m sorry, you can go if you want” You say with a sigh.

“Dude, it’s alright, you can continue to show me around.” Gilda says reassuringly.

“Well this is it. Ponyville is a tiny place, the only places left are Sweet Apple Acres and the school house.” You say.

“Well then… How good are you at flying?” Gilda asks with a smirk.

“Not that good. I fly, but that’s only to get above the clouds, I’ve never flown competitively.” You say with a nervous tone to your voice.

“Better than nothing, come on.” Gilda says excitedly.

Gilda begins a brisk pace forward before unfolding her wings, down stroking a couple times, and taking off. You follow her, doing the same. You fly up beside her, she looks over to you and smiles.

“Try and keep up.” She says.

Gilda flaps her wings a little harder, gaining more speed. You flap accordingly, catching up to her.

“Not bad, not everyone can keep up with me. Here, let’s kick it up a notch.” Gilda says with a smirk. She flaps harder, gaining more speed. You flap harder as well, catching up to Gilda in no time.

“That all you got? This is nothing.” You say with a very cocky tone to your voice.

“Oh yeah smart guy, try this.” Gilda says. She pumps her wings and in a blur she’s gone. You look around trying to spot her; you see a brown blur off in the distance, that’s surely her.

You pump your wings as hard as you can, trying to catch up to her, surprisingly you’re actually catching up to her. She looks back at you and picks up the pace; so do you. You easily catch up to her.

The two of you soared through the skies, you were giving it your all, and you liked it. There was something about the thrill of the chase, something you’ve never felt before, it numbed your limbs and made you think faster. You and Gilda were dodging clouds as you passed through them, the two of you were above the clouds now, she wasn’t showing any signs of slowing down, and you didn’t either. Your wings were numb and your head ached, but you didn’t slow down. This was, admittedly, more of a workout than anything you’ve done before, but you still kept close to Gilda.

The sun was shining an odd hue on the clouds; it was an off gold color, it distracted you slightly, you’ve never seen the clouds this color. You look around quickly taking in the colors, only to be taken off guard by Gilda tackling you to the clouds.

“Hey! What gives?” You ask.

“Meh,” Gilda shrugs. “I was bored.”

“Well then, can you get off me please? I can feel myself sinking.” You say, you look up into Gilda’s eyes, the golden color reflecting the light. Her eyes seemed to freeze time, it was strange, you’ve never felt feelings for another being before, but she seems to be doing something to you, casting some sort of spell over you.

“Sure thing.” Gilda said, she stepped off of you and pulled you to your feet. You regain your balance, looking along the top of the clouds.

“So… What now?” You ask.

“I dunno, we have all day to think of something.” Gilda says.

“You have a point.” You say.

The color was leaving the clouds now, the sun has risen, and it was now above the clouds completely, bathing both you and Gilda in its warmth. You look over at Gilda, the sun still making her feathers shimmer. Gilda looks over and her eyes meet yours, you quickly look away. You can feel a heat coming to your cheeks. There’s nothing but silence now.

Above the clouds you and Gilda sit in silence, until she speaks.

“I’m bored. I’ll catch ya later.” She says.

“Alright, see ya.” You reply. Gilda gives you a little nod then flies off. You watch as she flies higher then dives head first through the clouds.

You stay sitting for a few minutes, just watching the clouds form. You decide you’ve sat for long enough; you stand, stretch out your wings, and take off. You glide lazily through the clouds, looking around at the birds and other winged creatures in the air. There was really nothing to do today; hanging out with Gilda was definitely the highlight of the week. With nothing more to do you head home.

When you arrive at home you ponder today’s events, was Gilda feeling something for you? When she was on top of you she a look in her eye, a look of wanting, you couldn’t figure out what it was. You try to shake the thoughts from your head, you manage to get some out, but you can feel them lingering in the back of your mind. You move on to medial tasks; groceries, and gardening, tasks that would take you mind off Gilda.

Before you know it the sun was setting. Not another sight of Gilda. You look up at the sky you know and love, the clouds taking on the color of the setting sun. You sigh and head into your house, another boring night of nothing happening. You decide to get some early sleep, you head up the stairs and to your room; you lie on the bed and fold your wings over your chest.

Before you know it you’re asleep.

Comments

[ChillaxBrony]

My "something in the rest of story will happen" sense is tingling

[ThaWh1teBrony]

Dancing Luna will inspire you!
1.bp.blogspot.com/-CMowCAtVkvk/T_5PXNHaB5I/AAAAAAAAEkE/ovcr16itUQA/s1600/w3YT9.gif

[Shadowswipe]

1356423
This is the best gif. I literally stared at it for an hour. This definitely made my day.

Thank you for that
~Shadowswipe

[ThaWh1teBrony]

1358545 Wow, this is my first comment from an author, you are a God among men!!!

[Shadowswipe]

1361985
Oh stop it you.

[ThaWh1teBrony]

1366138 -_- not sure what other gender is...
WHATEVER I like yaoi anyways!

[Shadowswipe]

1369180
I appreciate the praise, but I'm no god. I believe that being involved with the fans is a good way of keeping them as fans.
If you look at the comments on most of my stories I respond to most of the comments. So it's only natural I respond to yours.
Anyway, have a good one.

Thanks for the support
~Shadowswipe

[Sky Blazer]

1358545 I couldn't take even 5 seconds...

[Fourpony]

For me, this chapter was a chore to read. I can see where you are going and feel you have something here, but there is a certain repetitiveness to your writing. For example:

I doubt I can hang today, the weather schedule is pretty messed today. We have to change the weather for three different cities today.

When reading this I only saw "today, today, today", the reader already knows we are talking about "today", no need to drill it into their head. Something better might have been:

"I doubt I can hang out today, the weather schedule is pretty messed. We have gotta change the weather for three different cities," Dash sighed.

Ok, ok, yes I did change more then just removing "today", but it sounds more like what someone actually says. People don't like repeating a word over and over if they don't have to (exceptions being connecting words like "the", "to", some others that are used to introduce nouns and adjectives).
Continuing along this line of thinking and applying it to the whole chapter, drop the "you". You are over using "you", you may notice it starts to get in the way and drown out your writing. You are writing a second person fic but that does not mean the reader forgets who you are talking about after every sentence (I am trying too add too many "yous" to make a point but failing). Here is an example of an earlier paragraph:

You awake the next day, the sun making the curtains in your room glow. You sit up and stretch your wings. You slide off the bad and plant your feet on the floor, you blink a couple times, trying to get the tired feeling out of your eyes. You walk out of your room and down the stairs, ducking as you go. Once again you remember this was a pony house, not a griffin house.

Notice how just about every sentence starts with "you"? Even though this is a second person fic you need to try and find ways to reduce repetitive use of words, it really starts to weigh down your writing and distracts the reader from what is actually happening.

And also, how could a griffin not live in Ponyville for a year and never notice the light blue mare who always seems to be kicking clouds or doing tricks?

[Black--Soul]

Things developed quite fast... Nice slice of life