Pine Apples

by Starkeeper_Ponyfic

Interlude: Time Loops, Served Hot and Fresh at Chaos Inc.

Bill drifted through Equestria’s etheric fields grumpily.

“Stupid horse magic, destroying my only good chance at a physical form,” he grumbled. “At least Pine Tree’s little stunt landed him and Shooting Star in this dimension so I’ll at least have some company that I like.”

A very familiar voice called out to Bill.

“Why, is that who I think it is?” it guffawed.

If Bill had a mouth, he would’ve been grinning. “Discord, old buddy, old pal! It’s been WAY too long!”

A translucent visage of Equestria’s Lord of Chaos appeared in front of Bill. “Good evening, old chum! What brings you to Equestria?”

Bill groaned. “So, I was THIS CLOSE to finally getting my hands on the rift old Sixer made when his... grandson? Hold on a sec!” Bill’s body flashed with various images as he checked for the correct information. Discord chuckled. “Sorry, his great-nephew, not his grandson. Anyway, the kid figured out what I was doing and managed to keep it away long enough to shatter the thing onto himself and got himself and his sister sent over here. I was planning on getting my physical form in this dimension and then just heading back over to Earth to finish my plans for them, but...”

Discord chuckled. “Harmony magic is statistically very annoying for chaos spirits like you and I, eh?”

“Oh, is that why I haven’t heard from you much in the last millenium?” Bill guessed. Discord nodded.

“Their ‘Elements of Harmony’ encased me in stone, although they think I was fully turned to stone,” Discord explained. “It’s kind of painful, honestly. No chance to stretch and even this doesn’t really help,” he complained.

“Heroes, huh?” Bill lamented.

“Worse!” Discord replied. “Magical Pony Princesses.”

“Geez, you got a bad deal,” Bill chuckled. “And I should know!”

He and Discord shared a hearty laugh.

“So, did you need something from me?” Discord asked.

“Heh, yeah, actually. I was wondering if you had enough power to get Earth into a time loop set to the beginning of the summer when those kids get back? That way I’ll be able to get summoned and get my plans started earlier.”

Discord considered Bill’s request and replied, “I may have enough, but... well, what’s in it for me?”

“Oh, I’d already decided that before considering making the offer!” Bill replied cheerfully. “If you aren’t already out by the time I get Weirdmageddon started, I’ll swing by once I get out of Gravity Falls and let you out so you can join the party. If you do manage to get out before then, I can’t think of anybody I’d want by my side when I conquer other than my oldest bud!”

Discord chuckled. “Oh, that sounds wonderfully chaotic. I’m in!”

“Great! See ya later, I gotta go figure out how to get back to Earth’s mindscape!”

“Toodles!” Discord replied cheerfully.

“Remember, reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold BYEEE!”

Once Bill was gone, Discord sighed. “Glad he’s gone,” he muttered before turning to the timeline. “Yes, I’ll put Earth in a time loop... not that you’ll remember,” Discord chuckled slightly, before frowning. “Cipher... If you truly believe that I’ve forgiven you for what you did... you are more insane than even my immortal mind can comprehend... you and Dimentio both.”

With that thought, Discord extended his presence to one entity whose help he needed in the form of a phone call.

“Yes, hello, Time Baby. This is Discord speaking. I’m calling to ask for help navigating the legal loopholes to set up a small time loop for Earth...”

Author's Note:

So, this chapter is interesting. Originially, it was just going to be a cut-and-dry justification for the twins re-experiencing the summer when they got back to Gravity Falls. And then when I got to Discord, a thought struck me.

Has Discord ever deliberately harmed someone?

The more I thought about it, the less certain I was that the answer was yes. Eventually I decided that for the purposes of this story Discord, even unreformed, has a deep aversion to direct physical and mental harm (though mental scarring from seeing what he does is a separate matter he doesn't concern himself with) and thus, considering Bill's track record of destroying his dimension and killing everyone inside it, his multiple counts of causing body horror, and his tendency for possession and dream-haunting, he's pretty staunchly in opposition to Discord's morals and that opened up an interesting rabbit hole that culminated in this timeline's backstory for Discord.

(You don't have to read the text below because it just provides some context for his character and it's probably going to be explained once we get to season 2)

Discord is a primordial spirit of chaos, with no clear origin. At some point long before his arrival in Equestria, he met another chaos spirit by the name of Bill Cipher within the second dimension. The two bonded fairly quickly, but Discord found himself increasingly unnerved by Bill's psychotic tendencies. He moved away from Bill to meet various other chaotic entities, including Jevil and Dimentio, but met back up with Bill just in time for Bill to destroy his own dimension. Discord proceeded to distance himself as much as possible but then Jevil was trapped in his "freedom" and the events of Super Paper Mario happened with Dimentio so Discord didn't have much company until he found Equestria, at which point the massive Harmony energies overloaded his mind and made him go insane enough to attempt to conquer it. Bill in his hubris never figured out that Discord hates his (probably) metaphorical guts and at this point Discord doesn't know how to correct him.

Comments

[Featherfury]

So, Discord hates Bill… As if we needed more proof that our favorite draconequus has a heart.

[The reluctant fan]

I do love how common the theory that all the chaos gods know each other is.

[yonalkaru]

awesome chapter dude, keep up the good work!!!!!!!!!

[Gfmlp]

10870470
Maybe the Journals arrived in Equestria not from the same dimension that twins arrived but from a dimension the same as canon series through the Bottomless Pit as happened with the story of https://www.fimfiction.net/story/434010/chrysalis-journal but the Journals found it much earlier