An ordinary teenager, who tries to live his life in CHS, feels as if he has nothing to look forward to. But what would happen, if a certain Princess from Equestria, would come his way. Would he be alone, or will he win her heart?
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This was was a fun and interesting first real meeting between them..
Well I can understand that this was done with your sole entertainment in mind, so I won't go into a long and pointless diatribe about Gary Stews protagonist or spilling out all the backstory of your character in one long exposition. This said I did sort of enjoyed the epic tone of the writing despite despite being mostly about the guys pedigree. For the following chapter I didn't care for that most of what had been said in the last one was repeated of before . I hope this story writing was a positive experience for you, and I hope you keep on improving your writing pretty clean, it's just how you... structure your story that is the real issue.
10557661
My bad. I'm still new to this.
Sunset?
10948305
Whoops. My bad.
10557812
Fun story so far however your using the wrong colon for chatting. It’s “ for when someone is taking while ‘ is when your quoting something. If I ain’t mistaken. I know for a fact “ is for characters speaking just not entirely sure I’m correct on the uses of this one ‘
10974968
Yeah, my bad, it's my first time writing something like this.