I Couldn't Become Nightmare Moon, So I Got A New Job!

by Ultimus Pendragon

Wake-Up Call

Author's Note:

Welcome back, here we are with another chapter. Took forever to get this out because my motivation for this was nowhere to be found, but now I got it back. Enjoy.

''Chaos is merely order waiting to be deciphered.''

-Jose Saramago.

Spike woke up that morning as he did on most days; brush his teeth, make his bed, sit down with a bowl of some gem cereal, and played with Peewee before heading to work for the day.

Today, however, was different.

''Are you sure this is the place?'' Pinkie Pie asked as the pair finished following the directions of Luna's apartment. Moon Dancer made it a point for her newest employee to get better acclimated to this new world. Given the. . .escapdes of the other day, the weekend was a saving grace for the entire team. ''Luna's place looks abandoned.''

Spike checked the sticky note he was given by Moon Dancer and looked back at the address of the rather unsightly apartment complex. A standard two-level complex bathed in pale red and black, with a few of the metal guard rails missing as the steps leading to one of the upstairs staircases either chipped or broken off in bits. A faint smell of something rather unpleasant filled their nostrils the closer they ventured closer. ''This note says we're here, so we're here,'' Spike said, clutching the rail as he slowly traversed up the stairs, Pinkie following behind him with a wary expression.

The sounds of ponies beginning their routine on the street adjacent to them as the sun began to creep over the horizon. Why the pair had to be up at this gosh-forsaken hour was beyond them. ''Huuaawh, I wonder why Moon Dancer thinks this is a good idea,'' Pinkie exhaled, her breath coming out in a steamed exhale at the nippy cold outside. Spike zipped up his windbreaker and turned around the corner, facing a long walkway on the second floor with 5 units from the look of it, the doors facing to their immediate right in a line. The note said #12, which would be at the very end.

''Same reason you think it's a good idea to keep emergency frosting everywhere in your room.''

''Hey, what can I say? You never know when you'll frost a cake. . .or somepony.'' Pinkie replied in a cheery tone, catching Spike off-guard for a second.

''What?''

''Nothing!'' Pinkie smiled, pointing a hoof at the door they stopped in front of. ''We're here!''

The door was indeed a bit dingy, adorned with a few dents here and there, showing the plain gray coat underneath the chipped brown paint of the door. The black number 12 was crooked, and there had been faint streaks or marks of something following all the way down to the ground. Spike balled his claw up and knocked six times, each one getting progressively louder than the last before he stopped and stepped back with Pinkie, who looked at the door with a smile.

. . .

''Y-Yes. . .who. . .Hwaauh! is there?'' a low voice called out that the pair would have missed if they did not pay attention and listen. It sounded like Luna, but they weren't quite sure.

''Uh, Luna! It's us!'' Pinkie put her ear against the door as she semi-shouted. ''Spike and Pinkie Pie! We're here to wake you up early!''

Luna's voice began to mumble some before going quiet, though Pinkie just heard her mumble as if she was going back to sleep, muttering about why and the time the pair had shown up.

BANG! BANG!

''Oh, oh! I'm awake! I'm-Huwaah~. . .awake.'' Luna said before falling silent once more. The pair looked at each other before Spike took the spare key to her apartment that Moon Dancer gave him in the event something would happen to Luna; nothing bad, according to her own words, but the invasion of his coworker's privacy certainly was something he would question later on.

He turned the key, the clicking of the lock sounded rather rusty as it did not give to the turning of the key right away. He attempted to push the door open, only to meet resistance. Another forceful push yielded nothing against his tiny frame. ''Mind helping me out?''

''Sure!'' Pinkie agreed, helping to move the door with the drake as it slowly began to give way. Pinkie and Spike pushed with all their might, straining and grunting. The air quickly began to make their heads ache. Was Luna always this heavy? ''T-This door is. . .WHOA!'' Pinkie flew in the door, sailing through the hallway and flattening into the wall like a pancake. ''Ooo, P-pretty wall. . .'' Spike looked to see Pinkie wobble after standing up before melting into liquid after a flower pot that was set on a stand above her hit her in the head.

''You ok, Pinkie?!'' Spike hopped over Luna, who was currently on the floor semi-awake.

''Ugh. . .'' Pinkie's eyes lazily looked around before closing. ''I'm. . .soup. . .''

Spike clicked his tongue, turning around and looking to see Luna slowly find her way to her feet before she yawned, her horn beginning to ignite, the waves of magic unstable and pulsating wildly. Luna began to mutter some more, walking towards the pair slowly. ''Nooo. . .visitors. . .at this t-time.'' Luna said, yawning and scratching her itchy nose as she sneezed her magic zooming towards the duo as it literally exploded in their faces, the force knocking Spike back to the wall with Pinkie.

''Ok, that hurt,~'' Spike raised a weak finger that fell a moment later along with him, the magic that Luna hit him must have done something as he felt weak and liquidy. Speaking of which, Luna merely settled for settling back down, seemingly out for the count this time.

''Oh, look Spike!'' Pinkie exclaimed, sounding a bit more aware, though her voice sounded like she was underwater. ''We're soup buddies!''

Great. All they had to do was wake up Luna and get her ready for the day, and that didn't include being turned in a pony-dragon soup. . .thing!

Pinkie Pie felt funny, it felt like she didn't have any of her bones, and she couldn't really move all that much, but it still felt fun. ''This is like the time we had soup together; don't you remember? You had firecrackers,'' Pinkie chuckled, vibrating as Spike rolled his eyes as best he could, hoping to get away from his friend making any more puns before it got to be too late.

''Pinkie, no.'' Spike said, frowning.

''Oh come on! I got one more!''

Hmmm. Spike wasn't sure about that. But he would humor her. ''Is it soup related?''

''Nooooo.''

''Pinkie. . .''

''This would be bad if we had to work today like this, and we're soup,'' Pinkie chuckled, sounding genuinely worried but also had a hint of mischief. Spike knew he would regret this, but it couldn't be that bad, right?

''Fine, why?''

''Cause we'd be canned!'' Pinkie exclaimed, laughing up a storm. ''You think Luna can fix us when she wakes up?''

Ugh, this was definitely going to be quite the experience.

---