"on either side of the battle and dunk" "on either side of the barrel and dunk"?
"It’s not fair. It’s is not fair" "It’s not fair. It is not fair" or ""It’s not fair. It’s not fair""?
"Illegal." Huh. I wonder what laws there's operating under? I doubt it's homosexuality being illegal. Possibly the age of consent being higher than nineteen? Hm, though I suppose it could also be figurative, and/or just referring to the Law of Applejack or something...
"I follow the touch her lips" "I follow the touch of her lips"?
[finishes chapter] [looks up at author's profile top line] Yep. :D
(Oh, and is the NSFS rating just because it isn't Wallflower? :D)
10528046 As always I appreciate the keen eye. And yeah, illegal like: it is illegal to be that cute, kind of colloquialism. As for the NSFS, partially yes on the Wallflower thing, partially because it gets steamy next chapter
This is a good start, but I think I'll need a bit more of Apple Bloom's perspective to really believe in this relationship. Bloom seems awfully sure this is more than a crush, despite there having been almost no interaction between them that we've seen.
10529129 Funny you should mention that. That’s basically the focus of chapter 3. This is all from Sunset’s perspective obviously so getting Bloom’s perspective is a conversation that has to be built into. You don’t just dump exposition after all, you have to weave it into the narrative.
This should be a fun ride. AB wants it, but thinks she blew it. Sunset thinks she'll get killed if she goes for it. But AJ seems to think having Sunset as an official part of the family would be perfectly ok.
10529728 Appreciate the criticism, though. Yeah, this is always the crux of putting two characters together that normally would never happen. Making it believable though is, at least I think, something of a speciality of mine. Although that may just be me flattering myself.
Well, this should be interesting. Great work!
(Also, really loved how you have the EQG Apples do their own version of apple-bucking. )
10527302
Thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying it. And yeah, that was kind of my thought as to how to translate Applebucking into IRL, and I got this.
10527306
You're welcome!
It was a pretty inspired translation. I don't think I've seen that particular take on it before.
Pretty great stuff, really enjoyed reading it. That wet hair flip and Apple Bloom’s reaction was pretty lol.
"on either side of the battle and dunk"
"on either side of the barrel and dunk"?
"It’s not fair. It’s is not fair"
"It’s not fair. It is not fair" or ""It’s not fair. It’s not fair""?
"Illegal."
Huh. I wonder what laws there's operating under? I doubt it's homosexuality being illegal. Possibly the age of consent being higher than nineteen?
Hm, though I suppose it could also be figurative, and/or just referring to the Law of Applejack or something...
"I follow the touch her lips"
"I follow the touch of her lips"?
[finishes chapter]
[looks up at author's profile top line]
Yep. :D
(Oh, and is the NSFS rating just because it isn't Wallflower? :D)
10528046
As always I appreciate the keen eye. And yeah, illegal like: it is illegal to be that cute, kind of colloquialism. As for the NSFS, partially yes on the Wallflower thing, partially because it gets steamy next chapter
I feel that the romance has not only been set up, but I like the idea of adult-Sunset still retaining her arrogant ways to a small degree.
It feels so in character and makes Sunset a realistically reformed person.
This is a good start, but I think I'll need a bit more of Apple Bloom's perspective to really believe in this relationship. Bloom seems awfully sure this is more than a crush, despite there having been almost no interaction between them that we've seen.
10529129
Funny you should mention that. That’s basically the focus of chapter 3. This is all from Sunset’s perspective obviously so getting Bloom’s perspective is a conversation that has to be built into. You don’t just dump exposition after all, you have to weave it into the narrative.
Okay, I may be reading a bit too much between the lines, but I think Bloom is of legal age.
Great start! I look forward to the rest.
This should be a fun ride. AB wants it, but thinks she blew it. Sunset thinks she'll get killed if she goes for it. But AJ seems to think having Sunset as an official part of the family would be perfectly ok.
Fun start.
10528057
Thanks, thanks, and thanks. :)
10529224
Well, that's perfectly reasonable. Carry on.
10529728
Appreciate the criticism, though. Yeah, this is always the crux of putting two characters together that normally would never happen. Making it believable though is, at least I think, something of a speciality of mine. Although that may just be me flattering myself.
A ship i haven't seen yet, i think, and one i can get behind. Oh boy i need more.
Never seen this pair but now I'm intrigued. It felt natural to me probably from life expirience seeing sometoing like this in real life.
Can't wait to read more.