- Member Since 9th Nov, 2015
- offline last seen April 6th
I-A-M
Crackshipper par excellence | Find me on twitter @Calchexxis
I-A-M
Joined 9th Nov, 2015 ·
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Well, this should be interesting. Great work!
)
(Also, really loved how you have the EQG Apples do their own version of apple-bucking.
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Thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying it. And yeah, that was kind of my thought as to how to translate Applebucking into IRL, and I got this.
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You're welcome!
It was a pretty inspired translation. I don't think I've seen that particular take on it before.
Pretty great stuff, really enjoyed reading it. That wet hair flip and Apple Bloom’s reaction was pretty lol.
"on either side of the battle and dunk"
"on either side of the barrel and dunk"?
"It’s not fair. It’s is not fair"
"It’s not fair. It is not fair" or ""It’s not fair. It’s not fair""?
"Illegal."
Huh. I wonder what laws there's operating under? I doubt it's homosexuality being illegal. Possibly the age of consent being higher than nineteen?
Hm, though I suppose it could also be figurative, and/or just referring to the Law of Applejack or something...
"I follow the touch her lips"
"I follow the touch of her lips"?
[finishes chapter]
[looks up at author's profile top line]
Yep. :D
(Oh, and is the NSFS rating just because it isn't Wallflower? :D)
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As always I appreciate the keen eye. And yeah, illegal like: it is illegal to be that cute, kind of colloquialism. As for the NSFS, partially yes on the Wallflower thing, partially because it gets steamy next chapter
I feel that the romance has not only been set up, but I like the idea of adult-Sunset still retaining her arrogant ways to a small degree.
It feels so in character and makes Sunset a realistically reformed person.
This is a good start, but I think I'll need a bit more of Apple Bloom's perspective to really believe in this relationship. Bloom seems awfully sure this is more than a crush, despite there having been almost no interaction between them that we've seen.
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Funny you should mention that. That’s basically the focus of chapter 3. This is all from Sunset’s perspective obviously so getting Bloom’s perspective is a conversation that has to be built into. You don’t just dump exposition after all, you have to weave it into the narrative.
Okay, I may be reading a bit too much between the lines, but I think Bloom is of legal age.
Great start! I look forward to the rest.
This should be a fun ride. AB wants it, but thinks she blew it. Sunset thinks she'll get killed if she goes for it. But AJ seems to think having Sunset as an official part of the family would be perfectly ok.
Fun start.
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Thanks, thanks, and thanks. :)
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Well, that's perfectly reasonable. Carry on.
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Appreciate the criticism, though. Yeah, this is always the crux of putting two characters together that normally would never happen. Making it believable though is, at least I think, something of a speciality of mine. Although that may just be me flattering myself.
A ship i haven't seen yet, i think, and one i can get behind. Oh boy i need more.
Never seen this pair but now I'm intrigued. It felt natural to me probably from life expirience seeing sometoing like this in real life.
Can't wait to read more.
Nobody but a Crusader could take Sunset on a ride as wild as this, haha. As she herself admitted, she's usually the one doing the riding.
I'm just waiting for AJ to discover them and get into a bit of a scuffle with Sunset
I appreciate how the fic just gets on with the fun stuff without delay. Love how bold and feisty AB is here. The only critique I’d have is I’d like to see more detailed visual descriptions, such as when Sunset was looking AB over, but the quality writing and overall steaminess make this a nitpick more than anything. Looking forward to the next chapter.
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That, or AJ knows damn well that she's setting her Sis up.
"says softly as steps away."
"says softly as she steps away."?
"shake down as indulge myself"
"shake down and indulge myself"?
"warning, starts to lick"
"warning, she starts to lick"?
My only criticism is that you describe AB in flannel and a sweater, right after two chapters of "fuck, it's so fucking hot!" Seems odd.
Nicely done!
Well, guess that didn't work out for you, Sunny.
I'm surprised Sunset was so okay with keeping it all casual and not addressing it, even more so considering most of it happened at the farm. Here's hoping things can be solved without her ending up hanging from an apple tree.
Err, Applebloom wearing gloves, and a winter flannel jacket? Wasn't it just really warm, with it supposed to be breaking 100° the next day? Sunset even mentioned her "too-hot apartment." Why is Bloom decked out for December?
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My bad, yeah, I fixed it.
God this is so good. It’s not even about the sex, that’s well done, but everything else too. You are really doing a fantastic job getting me to feel and understand the emotions involved
For a second I thought for sure that it was going to be Applejack at the door delivering the pizza they ordered. I imagined that as Sunset opens the door and is surprised to see AJ holding the pizza, abc AJ looks past Sunset and sees apple bloom
Okay yeah this works too. Open dialogue and all that. The only real obstacle left is AB's family.
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I’ve always been a fan of walking through problems with open dialogue because hiding things and keeping secrets is some early aughts romcom nonsense that just artificially creates conflict. It’s not like there isn’t a plethora of better, cleaner, more satisfying conflict to resolve without the manufactured stuff.
I continue to enjoy this story; thank you for writing. :)
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Your skill at avoiding the Five Minute Plot is very much on display, and appreciated!
this is AWESOME!!
im loving this. its an interesting pair that ur bringing to life very skillfully, u capture a great narrative voice for sunset, and its hot as hell :D keep writing!!!
i.pinimg.com/originals/45/04/98/4504986ac56345c66f59f31289405b81.gif
Very well done. Just discovered the story now, but I am HOOKED. Can't wait to read more.
Opps, wrong sister Granny!
I'm with Applebloom on this.
I don't want to wait weeks for when they tell Applejack either.
nice work on all chapters so far
And thank you for writing this, too, even if I may have gotten a little emotional whiplash from the previous chapter update from you I went through. :D
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You're very welcome and, yeah, that's entirely fair (about the whiplash) I have no real explanation for when or why I pivot to writing which stories that I do, lol.
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Heh, well, I enjoy both of them, so I'm not complaining. :)
I am so going to die laughing if these two stress out over telling AJ and everyone else, only to find out that everyone already knows.
Very nice work.