A Wayfinders Guide to Equestria

by Ellery Quinn

In which we remove the part on the authors motives being inscrutable to mortals, and our heroes make an inventory check

Author's Note:

A note on Canon in this story
It will be loosely followed, but faithful through the 4th or 5th season, expanded as I slowly watch more with my sister, one of the few opportunity's I get to watch mlp, I usually go for other stuff at other times. Charlie Chaplin is quite good too. You can find a link to see a clip of his stuff here. here*

On a different note, it is time for a new addition to the real men, real role players, loonies, and munchkins list.

in case you aren't sure what i'm talking about it is a joke list classifying different types of rpg player. they are...

The Real Man The tough macho type who walks up to the attacking dragon and orders it to leave before he gets hurt.

The Real Roleplayer The intelligent cunning guy who tricks the constable into letting you all out of prison.

The Loonie The guy who will do anything for a cheap laugh, including casting a fireball at ground zero.

The Munchkin Need we say more?
Favorite mlp character

Real Men: won't admit they watch the show, but Shining Armor if pressed.

Real role players: Cadance or Rarity

Loonies: Screwball, Discord or Derpy usually.

Munchkins: Lauren Faust

The author sighed as he typed up the next chapter in his manuscript. He was working on a tight deadline, and considering his employers, it was more literal than you would think. But torturing fictional characters, and bunting people into interacting with them was fun work. Especially when you had a magic typewriter, and a sadistic imagination.
He set the type writer to typing out what was happening from his unwilling protagonists point of view.

After we had figured out who was who we commenced to debating why my friends had turned into fantastical creatures.

That's easy. As you had no inherent magic, you were transformed into things that did. It's a side effect of the way you got there, and something that would cause me a lot of head aches.

Stop interrupting or I will personally find you and pour a vial of holy water down your dead, rotting, throat.

We did eventually get to that conclusion, after a long boring lecture from Twilight. It turns out Will turned into a half-elf because he had his character sheet in his backpack. He quickly rummaged through his pack and pulled out a bunch of items that I remember being written on his character sheet. Oddly similiar phenomena happened to everyone else and when we had pooled it all together we had the following list

• A spellbook ("What kind of sadist makes a spell to smite someone dead?"Twilight exclaimed. "Dave Arneson and Gary Gygax" I replied in a slightly snarky tone. )
• 500 caltrops (we spilled them, now that was a nightmare)
• A signed copy of Acereraks autobiography The life of a god killing, dungeon building, badass (courtesy of our jaunt into the tomb of horrors)
• A holy symbol of Pelor
• 5 iron spikes (the weapons of the first guys to go into castle greyhawk)
• a sprig of mistletoe
• A +3 Ak-47.5 (outperforms those old ak-47's )
• A +1 dagger
• A + 5 defender longsword
• A Battleaxe of dismembering (Homebrew!)
• 3 potions of greater healing
• A cursed scroll of John Cena (When you utter the words on this seemingly normal spell scroll it yells out "And his name's John Cena" With the effect of a blast of sonic energy instead of the expected spell. We set it off by accident, and that was a nightmare.)

etc...

Eventually we headed out of the castle to a town where every window was broken.

To be continued when I next have enough time to do anything of any length. (Sorry for the briefness.)

* Just kidding, here's the real link if you did get rickrolled. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=389cemZpkb4

Comments

[Ellery Quinn]

My apologies to anyone who took offense at the rickrolling, i only meant it as a joke, an not to offend anyone. The real link is at the bottom of the article.