• Published 1st Oct 2020
  • 2,468 Views, 299 Comments

Equal Opportunity Ascension - Cast-Iron Caryatid



Twilight Sparkle is a bit underwhelmed with her ascension to alicornhood and, after a disastrous coronation ceremony, it becomes clear that something is missing. It'd be a shame if somepony else got to it before she did.

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Chapter 19

“Why am I on the floor?” Cadance asked, slurring her words and not actually moving to get up. “And how long has it been? Tartarus, I feel like I haven’t slept at all.”

“You haven't,” Spike told Cadance, answering her last question first. “It's been, like, thirty seconds, and Sunset Shimmer is bleeding out in the library.

Cadance jerked her head up at Spike’s last answer, though it wasn't clear if it was at ‘Sunset Shimmer’ or ‘bleeding out’—possibly both.

“She’s not bleeding out,” Twilight corrected, already at Sunset’s side, examining her while chewing at her lip with nervous energy. “But I’m a librarian, not a doctor. We need to get her to the hospital. This didn’t just happen, so there’s a good chance it’s infected. Party supplies aren’t exactly the ideal replacement for the medical variety.”

Twilight blinked.

“…Actually, why is she wrapped up like a Hearth’s Warming Day present?” she asked, pausing for a moment.

A gentle hoof rested itself on Twilight’s shoulders and Cadance whispered in her ear with a giggle, “Maybe she wants you to unwrap her.”

Twilight blinked again. “Okay, so you’re useless right now. That’s good to know, actually. Spike, get the door again,” she instructed, picking Sunset up in her magic. “And don’t stand in the way this time!”

The trip to the Ponyville General Hospital didn’t take very long, but Twilight still had to back off on her levitation a bit when she felt her magic building up.

Of course, carrying a bloody unicorn through the market in the middle of the morning didn’t exactly go unnoticed, but Twilight didn’t have any answers for the first pony to ask what had happened, so she didn’t have any answers for the next two dozen.

“Ohmygosh, what happened?” Rainbow Dash asked, following Twilight from above.

Instead of answering, Twilight’s eyes lit up with an idea and said, “Rainbow! Go ahead to the hospital and tell them I’m coming with an injured pony."

Rainbow Dash mock-saluted and was immediately gone.

Other than the questions that she couldn’t answer, the gallop to the hospital went smoothly and quickly, most ponies having enough sense to get out of her way, and it wasn’t long until Twilight had caught up with Rainbow Dash, who was standing out front with a couple of ponies and a wheeled stretcher.

Twilight wasted no time in setting Sunset down as gently as she could, but even with her efforts to moderate her magic on the way over, it still took an awkward couple of seconds for the levitation spell to actually dissipate. It wasn’t as if Sunset was in urgent danger where the extra few seconds would actually matter, but it certainly didn’t help the already anxious situation.

Twilight watched as the ponies cut away Sunset’s impromptu bandages and winced as she saw what the injury was before they wheeled her away—a bite low on her haunch, probably Timberwolves and probably infected.

On the bright side, it was at least below her cutie mark, so there was that.

“See something you like?” Cadance leered, suddenly there leaning on Twilight’s shoulder.

“Wait—is that what that was all about?” Rainbow Dash asked.

Twilight facehoofed.

***

Unfortunately, the hospital was disinclined to let Twilight sign Cadance into their care for acute exhaustion, sleep deprivation and annoying innuendo, so she had to suffer her queer mood all the way back to the library and Rainbow Dash wasn’t helping.

“All I’m saying is you could have just said so,” Rainbow Dash said. “I’d have understood!”

“For the last time,” Twilight said in a huff as they began to near the library. “I was looking at the bite—nothing else.”

“Uh-huh. Sure,” Rainbow Dash said, unconvinced.

“I still don’t get it,” Spike said. “What’s the big deal if you were looking at her cutie mark?”

“Wait,” Twilight said, suddenly realizing that Spike had followed her to the hospital. “You’re here? Did you at least lock the library up after us?”

The answer was immediately obvious when he glanced away. “Err…”

“Spike!” she chastised. “You know what happens when we leave the library door open!”

“…Ponies can still borrow books during business hours when we’re supposed to be open?” Spike suggested dryly.

“No,” Twilight said, stepping up beside the door and opening it without looking through. “It attracts annoying ponies.”

“Excuse me?” Rarity asked, standing over by the periodicals.

Twilight turned and poked her head through the door. “Oh, it’s just you. Sorry. False alarm, I guess.”

Rarity didn’t seem to know what to say to that, so she ignored it. “I heard from Applejack that something was going on,” she explained. “She had to watch the apple cart, but I came right over; what happened?”

“I found Sunset unconscious and bleeding in the alcove this morning,” Twilight explained in a hurry, entering the library, followed by Spike and Rainbow Dash. “Look—I dropped her off at the hospital and I need to get back there to see what they actually have to say about her condition so I have something to tell the princess. Could you take care of Cadance for me in the meantime? She hasn’t slept, so she’ll probably collapse again pretty soon, but until then, don’t listen to any of her lies.”

“…Princess Cadance, you say?” Rarity asked, possibly wondering if maybe it was Princess Twilight that hadn’t had any sleep.

Twilight looked around to confirm that, yes, she had lost Cadance somewhere along the way. Fortunately, a quick search found her just outside, so Twilight lifted her up with her magic and tossed her through the door in Rarity’s general direction. “Remember—don’t listen to anything she says!” Twilight shouted after her, then began making her way back to the hospital, calling for Spike to follow.

A minute later, the lack of flapping wings in her immediate vicinity clued her in to the fact that Rainbow Dash had stayed behind at the library with Cadance and Rarity.

It was going to be one of those days, wasn’t it?

Oh, who was she kidding? It already was.

***

In spite of her hurry, Twilight and Spike ended up having to wait at the hospital for any word on Sunset’s condition. Most of the waiting was spent debating whether or not she should send a letter to Princess Celestia with nothing more to say than, ‘Sunset is hurt,’ but given that she also hadn’t yet sent anything about Sunset running off in the first place, she figured that it could wait until they knew how bad it was.

Honestly, it could go either way. The actual bite and blood loss weren’t likely to be life threatening, but an infection from a timberwolf bite could be serious. Animal bites in general were not something to be brushed off and Timberwolves didn’t even have their own hygiene to worry about; they were just thorny, often rotting husks of wood with breath like swamp gas.

A small, unhelpful part of Twilight insisted that they had warned Sunset about the Everfree, but it was hard to claim they’d been serious, considering how often she and her friends were in and out of there on a weekly basis. Even Twilight’s own existentially terrifying experience with a cockatrice hadn’t deterred her for long, though it probably should have.

Admittedly, they didn’t usually go into the Everfree at night, but she had no doubt that they would if they had to.

Eventually, Nurse Redheart found Twilight in the waiting room and motioned her over to explain the situation. In a word, yes, there were signs of infection, but since it had only been around twelve hours since the bite, they were comfortable stitching the wounds after a thorough cleaning. With antibiotics, Sunset Shimmer would likely see a full recovery in two to four weeks.

That was a relief… and not because that was two to four weeks that Twilight wouldn’t have to worry about her sneaking out into the Everfree.

Not just because of that, anyway.

Wait. Was she supposed to be denying that, or was she supposed to be denying that she was concerned about Sunset to begin with?

She honestly wasn't sure.

Then again, did it really matter?

Shaking her head, Twilight took Spike outside and prepared to dictate a letter.

***

“Dear Princess Celestia,

“I’m sorry to say, but the introduction of Sunset Shimmer to life in Ponyville has not gone as smoothly as one might otherwise have hoped. As a result, it is with significant regret that I must inform you of the injury and subsequent hospitalization of your student.

“Great personal effort was made by all of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony in order to provide for her a home which would offer her the appropriate levels of comfort and dignity for an independent, self-sufficient mare of means so that she would be able to focus on the lessons of friendship for which she was sent to Ponyville.

“Ponies are ponies, however, and during the process an unfortunate comment was made which tested her self control. Admirably, rather than lash out she chose to temporarily remove herself from the situation. Not so admirably, I can only guess that in doing so she headed back to her previous accomodations in the Everfree because she showed up at the library this morning with makeshift bandages covering what I believe to be a timberwolf bite on her left haunch. She has not yet recovered consciousness in my presence, and so I have not been able to verify the circumstances of her injury.

“The nurse has informed me that, as of a few minutes ago, Sunset Shimmer is out of immediate danger, though she will require a significant period of convalescence as expected of such an injury.

“While this situation is regrettable, I also believe that it was inevitable. The dangers of the Everfree are not to be understated, and every effort was made to impress upon her the seriousness of the matter when her previous accommodations there came to light. This was, in fact, the primary impetus behind providing alternative accommodations in town with such haste. It is clear, however, that your student did not take this warning to heart. This should surprise nopony, as previous instances of boundary-pushing behavior have gone unresolved.

“Note that I say unresolved, not unpunished. In fact, it is the extremity of her previous punishment which no doubt encourages her rule-breaking behavior due to the expectation that not only can no worse punishments be made, but also that the punishments for future infractions will be nullified until her previous excess can be balanced out. So far as I can see, any such assumptions to this effect on her part would seem to bear out.

“Sunset Shimmer seems capable of being a nice, agreeable pony who I would be glad to call my friend, so hopefully we can find some way to convince her not to endanger herself needlessly in the Everfree. While it would be best if her current injury were encouragement enough to warn her off such actions, it is ever the imperative of the young to think themselves immortal, and I, for one, would sleep better knowing that I won’t wake up to an injured pony in my library again, or worse, something worse.”

Spike screwed up his face at what he’d just written. “‘Or worse… something worse?’” he asked. “Really?”

“Well, I’m not going to just come out and say ‘I’d rather not wake up to a corpse next time,’” Twilight insisted.

“You know,” he said, skimming over the letter. “The way Rarity tells it, I’d have expected you to be throwing Rainbow Dash under the cart a bit more.”

Twilight waved her hoof in dismissal. “We had a disagreement,” she said. “She really shouldn't have been that insensitive, but I overreacted, and I guess she also wasn't really on the same page as the rest of us in regards to keeping Sunset here in town where we can keep an eye on her.”

“Can we, though?” Spike asked. “It's not like she wouldn't be able to just disappear from inside her bedroom.”

Twilight sighed. “No, but it’s something, and it also means that she has to at least pretend to be ‘studying friendship.’ I’d guess that there’s a lot she won’t be able to do if she’s only slipping away here and there.”

“Does that mean you know how to do what she’s trying to do?” Spike asked.

“Not… as such,” Twilight reluctantly admitted. “Just going out there and meditating on my magic hasn’t really taught me anything except that I’m not good at meditating.

“Anyway, go ahead and sign the letter ‘Princess Twilight Sparkle,’ and send it.”

“You’re not going to mention Princess Cadance?” he asked, holding off on the signature for the moment.

“No, of course not,” Twilight said, shaking her head. “Whatever Cadance has to say to Sunset is her own business.”

“No snitching, gotcha,” Spike said, went to sign the letter, then hesitated again. “What about the spell she wanted, though? So she can write back? You don’t actually know that one, right?”

Twilight froze, then cursed. “Damn it, you’re right. Okay, sign it and add a postscript.

“P.S. On a somewhat lighter note, after her letter to you, Sunset Shimmer has also made an effort to reach out to Cadance via mail and expressed interest in learning the spell you use for sending letters to Spike. I think that this would be a wonderful project for her during her convalescence, and I don’t doubt that Cadance would like to be able to respond in a timely manner as well, and I admit to some curiosity myself. If you could send me your notes and references on the subject, then I’ll ensure the information gets to the ponies who need it.”

Spike gave Twilight a flat look. “You ‘don’t doubt that Cadance would like to be able to respond?’” he asked.

“Well, no, of course not,” Twilight innocently answered. “Do you?”

Spike facepalmed. “Considering she said it to your face…”

“My sources are good,” she defended.

“You’re really getting into this passive-aggressive thing, aren’t you?” he asked dryly, pointing out the obvious.

“Given the introduction to princesshood that I’ve received, are you really surprised?” she asked in return. It’s only going to get worse when Sunset and Cadance wake up.”

“Princess Cadance isn’t really passive-aggressive, though, is she?” Spike said. “She seemed more like she was channeling regular old aggressive-aggressive when she showed up.”

“No, believe me,” Twilight said, shaking her head. “When she feels like it, she can be just as catty as Sunset. Anyway, go ahead and send the letter.”

Finally, Spike had no more objections or comments, so he shrugged, rolled up the letter and sent it on its way with his flame.

Twilight idly watched the silver smoke until it was no longer discernible against the clear blue sky, then did what she could to stretch the tension of that whole mess out of her shoulders. Hopefully, she would have at least half a day of peace and quiet before she had to deal with any more of—Twilight was blinded by a flash of sunlight.

Blinking the spots out of her eyes, Twilight was suddenly faced with an agitated Princess Celestia.

Joy.