Chapter 1: A Fallen Queen Reawakened
It's been five years since the defeat of Queen Chrysalis. Twilight Sparkle had hoped that she and her allies could rest easy. But one morning, when she woke up, she found Equestria in a state of despair. A giant tree made of black wood surrounded by thorny vines stood at the center of it all. The sky was red. Without a second thought, she flew to the Changeling Kingdom to seek help. It turned out that the other Elements of Harmony had the same idea. They were already conversing with Thorax and the Changelings. Starlight Glimmer and Spike were with them as well. "Can somecreature please tell me what the hell is going on?", Twilight asked.
"Five years passed since I defeated Chrysalis", Starlight explained. "That gave her a LOT of time to plan her ultimate revenge. This must have taken several months... no, years... to plan, because now, the Changeling Queen's now a monstrous mutation, drenched in the misery of all her humiliation. Illustrations of nightmares drawn, a crooked empire now long gone. My face won't let her forget the symbol of her regret. A fallen queen has been reawakened."
"That's putting it lightly", Spike quipped.
"She's been remade. She's been hiding in the shadows and no amount of light remains. This is no display. Equestria has been torn apart. Broken down as a reminder of all our misdeeds, and now, it's mangled. This is no illusion", Starlight continued. "Ponies are perishing left and right. Some ponies even committed suicide knowing they wouldn't want to live in world with a tyrannical queen. They can't fight this monster. We need to stop Chrysalis and her army." The Royal Guard were fighting the monsters that spawned from the ground. They somewhat resembled ponies, but they looked unnatural. It's as if they were a combination of Timberwolves and ponies. The Timberwolves were even fighting these monsters. "If we don't stop Chrysalis, then Equestria will suffer even more."
"We will NOT be her slaves! We will not be moved by coroners! We have one shot to save our world! We need to avenge the fallen! Take back our world! OVERRIDE AND CONQUER!", Twilight shouted. Suddenly, hundreds of Timber-ponies began running towards the Changeling Kingdom. Spike, the ponies, and the Changelings all ran towards the incoming army and the two sides clashed. Fortunately, the Timber-ponies were fairly easy to defeat. The only real problem was the mass number of them. Still, several Changelings fell by the Timber-ponies' jaws. Eventually, the army was destroyed. Suddenly, thorny vines emerged from the ground in front of the Changeling Army and grabbed Starlight Glimmer. They squeezed her and the unicorn began to lose her breath. Twilight blasted the vines with her magic, and Starlight was free, though she took a moment to catch her breath. The vines seemed... sentient. "Wait... the tree isn't controlled by Chrysalis... the tree is Chrysalis!" The vines then grabbed Twilight and constricted her. The Changeling Army attacked the vines and freed Twilight. "She wants Starlight! Protect my protégé!" Unfortunately, it was too late. A vine grabbed Starlight and pulled her towards the dormant Chrysalis. "No!"
Inside Chrysalis...
"Well, well, well! If it isn't my arch-pony-nemesis! Once haunted and unwanted by her town!", Chrysalis said. "Don't think I forgot what you did five years ago! Your love will be enough food for me to live FOREVER! NOW, DIE!" Starlight attempted to use her magic, but she was completely powerless. A cocoon wrapped around her and she felt her energy being drained from her. She knew no one could save her. She closed her eyes and accepted her fate. As she died, Chrysalis absorbed her energy. After completely draining her, Chrysalis ejected Starlight's empty husk. Twilight sensed this.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!", Twilight screamed. In a fit of rage, she unleashed a powerful wave of energy that eradicated all the Timber-ponies, but a fresh batch was quickly made, and in no time at all, a war broke out.
"Attack, my children! They won't survive, for I am a RAVAGE!", Chrysalis screamed. Even I, the Eye of the Beholder, could not believe what I saw. However, I could only watch as interfering would break history. Let me calm the mood with some tunes. I think you'll find this one fitting.
This day is going to be perfect
The kind of day of which I've dreamed since I was small
Everypony will gather 'round
Say I look lovely in my gown
What they don't know is that I have fooled them all!
This day was going to be perfect
The kind of day of which I've dreamed since I was small
But instead of having cake
With all my friends to celebrate
My wedding bells, they may not ring for me at all…
I could care less about the dress
I won't partake in any cake
Vows, well I'll be lying when I say
That through any kind of weather
I'll want us to be together
The truth is I don't care for him at all
No I do not love the groom
In my heart there is no room
But I still want him to be all mine
We must escape before it's too late
Find a way to save the day
Hope, I'll be lying if I say
"I don't fear that I may lose him
To one who wants to use him
Not care for, love, and cherish him each day"
For I oh so love the groom
All my thoughts he does consume
Oh, Shining Armor, I'll be there very soon
Finally the moment has arrived
For me to be one lucky bride
Oh, the wedding we won't make
He'll end up marrying a fake
Shining Armor will be...
...mine, all mine.
There's another part.
This day has been just perfect
The kind of day of which I've dreamed since I was small
Everypony I'll soon control
Every stallion, mare, and foal
Who says a girl can't really have it all?
What? Not epic enough? Well, excuse me.
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10489730
New chapter out!
The synopsis confuses me. Don't the changelings serve Chrysalis?
10503031
This takes place AFTER Season 6.
It’s theoretically impossible for me not to love anything with DAGames stuff in it
That being said, I liked where this story was going, but I didn’t like where it went.
Keep in mind, I don’t dislike this story, I’m just offering my criticism. The story didn’t have too much direction to it and I wasn’t sure what the main focus was. Was it the war, revenge, IRIS, or something else entirely? There wasn’t a whole lot of downtime for this story to figure that out nor was there enough of an opportunity for more intense action scenes. I believe that if you had given each scene more time to just exist, the story would have a bit more clarity.
My advice would just be to work on your pacing. Watch scenes from action movies, action scenes in MLP, and/or listen to more IRIS songs to get a feel for how certain concepts are paced (ask yourself: When are the scenes slower and when are they really fast?). You don’t have to do just those things or any of those things, that was just my suggestion.
Sorry this was long
I’ll end with saying that I do like this story, I just personally felt that it needs some work going forward. I also wanted to say that I’m excited to see how the “Eye of the Beholder” is going to be incorporated going forward. 
10511660
I know.
10511682
The main focus isn't actually IRIS (despite it being a part of the title) because the Goliath won't appear. Despite the story containing elements of war, the main focus is revenge; specifically, Queen Chrysalis exacting her revenge on the Mane Six by destroying everything they love.
I have seen several action films, but this is a war story at heart. I have listened to every single IRIS song (including the latest song, Mothohive, which was absolutely incredible) and every single episode in the show.
Still, the way I write my stories is different compared to films and other media. Additionally, the "Eye of the Beholder" is actually telling others this "tale of old" several hundred years into the future (as mentioned in the preface), for it is eternal.
Excluding the preface, there will be three chapters.
10512315
Oh, okay! Thanks for the context