Chapter 2: The Cowgirl and the... Cow Girl?
Do you want some more popcorn, Discord?
"No, I want to get back to Fluttershy."
Well, then open a portal to get back to her. That's how you got here, didn't you?
"I don't even know where she is. Equestria has been completely flattened, and she's nowhere to be found there, even if I go back. She's in this new cross-over place now, with the only clue being the TV signal. I don't even know where the TV signal is coming from, so I've been racking my brain for any ideas! Poor Fluttershy..."
Have you tried turning the "machine that keeps the dimensions apart" off and on again?
"Yes, that's the first trick in the book!"
Okay... Well, have you tried hacking into location SCF-23 using jack HDKS-2 in section D47 with memory address 0x981209792H to force a reboot with the "Poisoned Teeth Command" by creating a simple Python code? That worked last time for me.
"Yes. Nothing."
Have you tried shoving an actual Python with Poisoned Teeth down jack HDKS-2 into location SCH-23, section D47? If it works out, then you should be able to short out 0x981209792H by using the poison.
"Wait, what?! That might actually work! Give me a few seconds, time to find the machine again!"
Yes. Sure. Gee. That's depressing. And now back to your regularly scheduled program.
"OOF!" Applejack had come to her senses lying in a haystack. "Unnnghh..." Groaning, she wobblily stood up on all fours. What in the hey happened? One moment she was standing, doing... something, the next, conked out cold.
Noticing the pitchfork stuck upright in the hay in right beside her, she chalked it down to her overworking herself again. Rarity had warned her about that; probably said something along the lines of "Darling, all that filthy work can't possibly be healthy for someone with a stature like you! You're so... petite!"
Personally, Applejack didn't consider herself as "petite," being about, or rather EXACTLY, as tall as Rarity herself, but what she said was right. Applejack did work herself too hard way too often. Finally, Applejack found the energy to pick up the pitchfork and mosey on out of the barn for some brunch at Golden Harvest's house.
The events before she passed out slowly came back to her. Yep, she was shoveling hay back into the barn for the past couple of hours. Since the sun said it was about an hour before noon, she felt it appropriate to head over there now.
Passing the pigs, the corn, and the cows, the orange equine straightened her back, feeling the warm sun on her neck. It was a good day for farm work. No wonder she fell asleep on the hay; it was so comfortable. For her, at least. Rarity would have a fit if she were forced to sit in there for any amount of time.
Ah, there was good ol' Carrot Top's house. Absentmindedly, Applejack looked around her house, but something wasn't right. What were those caravans doing there? In front of Applejack, there were about eight caravans, lined up in a circle around a small campfire in the middle of a desert. All of them seemed in good repair, but no one was nearby to check on them.
Wait, DESERT?! That DEFINATELY wasn't there before. Something happened, but she didn't know exactly what happened to turn a previous road into a sandy wasteland.
Making up her mind, she walked over to the back of one to investigate further. Upon inspection, it appeared to hold several containers, but none of them seemed to house any magical spells or djinns that could have caused it. They also apparently didn't seem to be part of any magical gypsy band, so that was good. It also ruled out the possibility-
"Howdy!"
Applejack instinctively turned, striking a defensive stance. All she saw were the cows grazing not far off. "Ah, nuthin' there. Is mah lack a' sleep really that bad fer me ta be 'allucinatin'?"
"Ah dunno. 'Aven't seen you around these parts before."
Almost out of nowhere, a small calf with a red bandanna tied around her neck was standing in front of Applejack. She hopped from one side to the other in an energetic fashion. "Who're you? Whut are ya doin' with mah family's carts?" the cow asked, confident smile on her bovine features.
AJ shuffled her hooves, eyes and mouth open in surprise. This calf wasn't normal. She was definitely a cow, horns, tail, and muzzle all lined up. But, she had the stature, eyes, and even MANE of a pony, to an extent. But, the absolute MOST disturbing about her was that she SPOKE, coherently. Not some mix of moos and broken ponish, but genuine ponish, completely grammatically accurate.
The calf, seeing no response to her question, asked again. "Let's staht ova', nice 'n' simple. Who're ya?"
AJ appeared to want to faint. "Ah-Ah MUST be 'allucinatin'..."
"Ust B. Alucy-Natin? Strange name." The calf impatiently stomped both hind hooves on the ground, one after the other.
"Uh, wha? No! Mah name is Applejack, Element of Honesty!" she corrected.
The cow continued. "Oh, uh, okay, Applejack? Did Ah get that right?"
"*gulp* Yep."
"Good. Mah name's Arizona, Champion of the Prairie. Nice tah meet you." The calf, who was now noted as a female, narrowed her eyes and continued her questioning. "So, uh, what WERE you doin', checkin' out our carts like a thief in a thicket?"
"Uh..." Oh, how the heck do you explain to someone that there wasn't a desert in the area before-?
"There was never a desert there, and I thought y'all could've MADE the desert appear?" That certainly wasn't the right way. Applejack visibly cringed while saying it, and the cow didn't seem entirely convinced either.
"Your head filled with tumbleweeds? Like mah pa always said, deserts don't appear out of thin air." Arizona looked thoughtful for a moment. "Don't know exactly what he meant when he said it, but he certainly said it."
AJ dropped her voice low as she murmured, "You haven't seen the beginnin' of it..."
"Huh?"
"Nuthin'!"
"Alright," the calf said, finally appearing satisfied. "I guess I'll believe ya. You don't seem like a liar. You're name's... Applejack, right, sugarcube?"
Sugarcube? That was... somewhat unexpected. Especially after that bad start with the caravans. Applejack realized that she should probably not make this any worse than it already was, and so decided to treat kindness with kindness.
"That's right, Arizona, wasn't it? Heh. Wasn't expectin' tah meet a talkin' cow today."
Arizona looked confused. Sarcastically, she responded, "You've never seen a talkin' cow before, miss Applejack? Do all yer cows stay silent?"
Blinking, Applejack responded "Uh... that's hard tah tell, 'specially 'round 'ere, in a place like Equestria."
"Equestria?" The small cow tipped her head to one side. "Wuzzat? This is Foenum!"
"Foenum?" The orange pony parroted the cow's motions. "This is Equestria!"
A figurative lightbulb seemed to go off in the cow's head. "Oh, golly. Somethin' bad happened!"
One seemed to go off in Applejack's as well. "Ah don't know much about magic, but seems BOTH of us are displaced; and probably everyone else too."
"Yeah, Do you have any idea of how your...Equestria got sucked into this mess?
Applejack shook her head. "No... not that I can reca-"
Suddenly, memories flooded back into Applejack’s mind!
Applejack was standing, somehow using a pitchfork with only her front hooves.
Wasn't the job she'd hoped for that day, but with apples out of season, well, there weren't much else she could do except tend to the animals.
A bright light shined in the back of her vision. It quickly grew, and consumed her vision entirely, throwing her into an abyss of light.
That sounded wrong. End flashback.
"Actually... Ah do remember!"
"Really?" Arizona was rather shocked. She sort of expected this pony was unconscious, like her during the ordeal. "What was it, miz Applejack?"
"A giant ray a' light flew ova' me when Ah passed out! That musta been the cause!"
Arizona quickly racked her young, impressionable brain, trying to recall her own experience.
Arizona was in the middle of a bunch of test dummies, working out a few kinks in her combo game.
Her loving family were all around her, simply minding their own business. She knew the predators would come. She knew that they were threatening the entirety of Foenum. And She. Would. Stop them.
Except the giant ball of light expanding from the Woodla-
"Yer right! There was a bunch a’ laht that hit me too!"
"Yup, that brought us 'ere, alright," Applejack concluded.
"That means... That means that yew an' anyone else that got 'it by that laht'll be at risk a' the predators now!"
"Predators?" Wait, she didn't know what Predators- oh right. She wasn't from here. Arizona provided the closest explanation she could offer.
"Predators! Ghostly beins' that wanna see nuthin' but Foenum gettin' destroyed! They'll devour every single ungulate before Ah could say 'don't touch the cow.'"
Applejack turned her head downwards, whispering to herself. "Sounds like spirity timberwolves..."
"Pardon?" Applejack snapped out of her trance, shouting "Nuthin', Nuthin'! Just sumethin' we in Equestria hafta worry 'bout sometimes."
Arizona understood. "Ah. Okay. Er, I got a couple more questions fer ya, so mind steppin' in the cart? Pretty hot out here."
"Sure."
The cart was surprisingly spacious, even with all of the boxes of materials in it; enough for the two ungulates to stand comfortably in it.
Somewhat interestingly, Applejack stood on her hind legs for a few seconds to adjust her hat, before finding a box of flour to sit on.
"Alright. Oh, an' by the way, there's some water over thataway." She gestured with her horns towards the other side of the cart. "Well, now that we ken cool off a bit, mind explainin' what that...er... Element of Honesty is?" Arizona kindly asked.
Applejack obliged. "Sure! You wanna know about me an' the Elements, huh? Well, here's a little story fer ya. Ya see..."
Arizona listened intently to the story for fifteen minutes, not getting up for anything at all. It was surprisingly interesting, much more interesting than even the stories her pa told her. They way the leaders of Equestria wielded the elements, before it got passed down to Applejack and her friends, its powers, the Tree of Harmony, and the way that AJ and her friends now WERE the Elements. Of course, a couple of things struck her as strange, like how friendship could be used as an offensive magic, but considering how similar she and Applejack were, Arizona felt more than inclined to ask Applejack to help her and her land out.
However, when Applejack finished her story, she turned to Arizona once more and stated, "Well, that's about the gist of it. Now, before I head on out, I'd like to ask you something.
"Arizona, if is isn't too much to ask, could you help me out on this? You're a fine young cow, if Ah do say so mahself, and you're from this cross-over place. I could use yer assistance in more places than one."
Breaking in to a large grin, Arizona stomped both front legs down hard with conviction, quite nearly breaking the bottom of the cart. "Yeehaw! You've got yerself a deal, miz Applejack!"
AJ rubbed the back of her neck. "Aw, shucks, just call me Applejack! No need for formality among friends. We're goin to Ponyville, not far from 'ere."
"Alright, so when're we leaving, mi- Ah mean, er, ma’am, er- Applejack?"
The rustic pony hopped out of the van. "in a bit. Gotta get to the barn. Just gotta get some supplies.
"Sure! What do ya have ta get?"
"Oh, some bags, some food, a lasso... Just the usual stuff Ave come ta’ learn to take."
The two mammals retread Applejack's steps to the hay barn.
Arizona was rather fascinated by it, having not really lived in one place at one time. Her family was always on the move, going wherever they could find greenery. These farmponies didn't have to worry about that at all.
Applejack ducked behind a short wall, where Arizona assumed she kept her bags and lasso. Finding a piece of rope on the ground, Arizona used her cloven hooves and mouth to work one end of the rope into its own lasso.
Applejack came in with her own lasso and bags on her back. Testing her lasso out, she nodded before coiling it up swiftly and hanging it from her neck. Arizona volunteered to carry her bags for them, which Applejack accepted.
GAINED THE KNAPSACK! +2 Storage Space +4 Weight Standard pony travel pack. Magical artifacts not included, unfortunately.
"Alright, Arizona. Ready to say goodbye to yer family?" the orange pony asked.
Just finishing up with her new lasso, Arizona donned the Knapsack. "Yep."
Arizona went to where her parents were, in front of the carts. Applejack galloped over to the porch, where an older, green pony, large red stallion, and a yellow filly with a pink bow were sitting. Wait... Green pony? Arizona pushed the thought to the back of her head as she reached her mother, Minnesota, who was unsuccessfully trying to strike a conversation with the non-sentient cows on the farm.
And by reached, I mean she bumped into her mother's rear end. "Ope! Ari! There yew are!" Minnesota called out in mild surprise. "So, did you find the ungulate hanging around the carts back there?"
"Yup, it was a pony. She wasn't trying to steal anything though; just trying to figure out why we're here." Arizona responded.
Nodding, Minnie added, "Uh-huh. We were definitely not here earlier. Why're we here, and where exactly is here?" She motioned back towards the farmed cows. "These un's don't seem very talkative either."
"A giant beam a' laht hit us, and now we're crossed ovah with a place filled to the brim with ponies." the calf explained, adjusting her backpack.
"Oh?" Minnesota stood in thought for a minute or two before nodding. "I remember now. How do we get out of 'ere, if we even can?"
Answering, Arizona continued. "That's why Ah'm gonna go with one a' 'em ponies. She and 'er friends saved the place we're in now countless tahms, and she might know someone who ken 'elp us outta this mess. I came 'ere to say goodbye ta you before I... Before I..." Unexpectedly, Arizona let out a small sniffle of sadness. Minnie, sensing her calf's fear, threw a loving hoof around her shoulder, talking to her as only a mother could.
"It's alright. You know, when Ah left, to be with yer great trustin' lump of a father, I was jus' lahk yew, Ari. Young, and spry, I thought that nothin' wood be the same again. An' y'know? It never was. It was...er-" here she looked around nervously "-interestin' at the start, but over tahm, I started to love the kooky adventures our li'l troupe got on. If yer mama cahn do it, my little calf sure can!" She rubbed her other hoof roughly on the calf's head, leading to a couple of giggles from both parties. As well as the third party.
"'Ey!" Applejack called. "You ready ta head ta Ponyville?"
"Yup!" Arizona scrambled out of her mother's grip, quickly reaching Applejack.
"Heh. Come along, mama's calf!"
"D'aw, Applejack!"
But before they could leave the general area, Minnie called back to them with an air of concern in her tone. "Wait, hol' on! You're the pony Ari was talking about?"
AJ whipped around sharply to face Minnie. "Ah suppose so. Unless Ah take it she's talked to others?"
"Good! Now, I just wanted ta make sure she was goin' to be safe with you." Madison shook her head. "But unfortunately for yew, mah wurst fears were confirmed."
Applejack looked understandably shocked. "Wha-"
"Yoor'e meetin' all meye standards!" the cow concluded, breaking into a beaming smile. "Yer an 'onest mare, an' it shows! Ma Ari'll be fahn wi' you. An don't worry, Ah won't tell Dada, Ari!"
"Maaaaaa!"
She quickly ushered them out of range of the carts. "You two hurry 'long now, and save your worlds!"
"See ya!" "Bye, Miss!"
Minnasota waved them goodbye from the carts, until they were completely out of their line of sight. They had finally reached the gate of Sweet Apple Acres. Arizona looked at her companion, who was wearing a...sad expression?
"Somethin' wrong, Applejack? Hard goodbye to yer parents?"
"Huh? Who?!" AJ snapped out of something.
"Yer parents? Ya know, the green and red ponies, I presume?"
"Granny and Big Mac? Oh, they're not mah parents Not at all."
"Oh. Where are they, then?" Arizona naively asked.
Applejack seemed to look even more crestfallen. She slowed down to a stop, head facing the ground, hat drooping forwards at a ridiculous angle.
Arizona made a confused cow noise, then said, "Well, if you wanna talk, Ah'm right 'ere fer ya."
Applejack started to drift off into her own thoughts, just BARELY, but still visible enough to be seen by the calf. "Naw, that won't be necessary." Applejack stopped entirely, leaving the cow to stand next to her in confusion.
Starting to grow impatient with Applejack, Arizona came up with something SO CRAZY it just might help Applejack open up. "A'right, That's enough!" The cow took out her lasso, and deftly ensnared Applejack's legs, throwing her over her shoulder to the ground. Before she could respond, Arizona hog-tied her legs up further, mimicking what she had seen her father do before, once.
"'Ey! Lemme outta 'ere!" Applejack yelled, as Arizona contemptuously sat down on her stomach.
"Heh, I ain't lettin' ya go 'till ya tell me what's ailin' ya."
Applejack struggled for about five more seconds, before sighing, adding, "Yer a shrewd character, Ari. But that's why I wanted ya with me. Ah'm proud to have met someone lahk yew."
Applejack let out her pains and fears onto Arizona, who listened empathetically. Yep, they were gonna make a great team!
Pen: Wait! We're still flying through the air! That orb was strong.
Blocky: Are we going up or down now?
Eraser: Doesn't matter. Hey! I see something green!
Pen: It must be the ground! We're getting outta h-
*WHUMP*
Blocky: Oh, god my leg!
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VERY good job on this latest chapter. Again, the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up are all well done in all the right places. LOVED Applejack's first meeting with Arizona (especially with them both recalling what they were doing before the dimensional displacement) and Arizona's scenes with her family before she and Applejack set off on their adventure.
VERY much looking forward to more of this.
And, Discord, I would keep an eye out for an absolutely adorable sheep with a Scottish accent. If you see HER, I VERY seriously doubt Fluttershy will be far behind.
10381932
Thank you! Third chapters are always the WORST for me, so I wanted to push out something good this time!
10381983
You definitely succeeded as far as I'm concerned. :-D
one gripe:
holy fucking jesus on a snowmobile, the phonetic accent
10392308
)
Phonetic accent as opposed to...syntactic or grammatical accent? (No criticism, just being silly
10424100
Yeah, I had trouble understanding the original comment as well.
Uhhh... What kind of "simple Python code" can screw with the memory like that? Also how does Python even exist in the universe? Is everything a simulation?
Is that even allowed? If it is, thank you for getting me to notice video game prompts are allowed in stories.
This whole chapter's dialogue was written in a Southern accent. This made it difficult to read. Although it makes it more interesting, it isn't really needed. For n x-ampl, eye have a Californian axent. <-- You can write like this for basically any accent because of how English words are spelled. Basically all accents have weird pronunciations you can write like this. Why limit it to only a southern accent?
11175056
As long as it's not too intrusive and it fits in context, I don't think it's a problem.
11175069
Understood. Am planning some major renovations in the near future to improve reading experience in later chapters as well.