Pony Grumps

by The watchful pony

a very grump wedding part 1.

Jon and Arin were sitting on the couch, pretending to watch television, Twilight trotted into the room to see the both of them looking at a fox that had broken into the house.

"I'm sick of Fox, let's do something else," said Jon, as Arin let the fox out of the house.

"How did a fox get in my house?" Twilight asked in deadpan.

"We let it in because we were bored," nonchalantly replied Arin.

"Have you even tried talking to somepony?" she wondered, letting the fox incident slide.

"I guess we did not think about that," said Jon sincerely.

"How about we go talk to some of the ponies we met yesterday?" suggested Arin, his face shining at the prospect of doing something.

"Well, there is that picnic we were talking about yesterday. You two can also meet Fluttershy, though it might take some time
for her to warm up to you two, she's a little shy."

"Gee, I would have never guessed," said Arin sarcastically.

"I'm sure you three will get along just fine."

"So, when is this picnic?" asked Jon.

"Actually, I was just about to head over there."

"Well then, what are we waiting for then?" Arin said, quickly getting on his hooves. "Let's go have a picnic."

"Alright then, let's go." the Grumps nodded and followed Twilight out of the house. It was still early in the morning, about maybe ten in the morning. All three of them made it to the clearing where the rest of Twilight's friends seemed to be setting up a blanket. Noticing Twilight and the GameGrumps, the group waved them hi.

"Howdy there you three," greeted them Applejack.

"Hey there, girls," said Twilight in return.

"Now that that's out of the way, let's eat.", said Ego, already eyeing the food.

"Hold on you two, while we set up why don't you two introduce yourself to Fluttershy."

"Okay, but it may take a while considering she is hiding behind the drama queen," said Jon, as he pointed at Rarity.

Fluttershy doing just as Not so Grump had said, putting her head deep into Rarity's shoulder. Rarity moved to the side as Fluttershy got up and hid her head behind her mane. Jon and Ego went up to her, the shy pony trying to desperately look away from the pair.

"Hi, I'm Jon, and this handsome fellow here is Ego, but you can call him Arin, you must be Fluttershy."

"Um.... H-hello," said Fluttershy with a barely audible voice.

"Huh?" said John as he got closer and held his ear up.

"I... I said hi."

"Huh?" he repeated as he held his his ear even closer to Fluttershy.

"You.... You're getting a bit close."

"Speak up." Jon had his ear right up to Fluttershy's mouth. Fluttershy let out a small squeak and started to blush as he felt her lips press up against Jon's ear.

"Well, anyway, it's nice to meet you, and we hope to be good friends with you," both Jon and Ego sat down near the blanket and looked at the spread of the food available. The group started digging into the food, Fluttershy sporadically grabbing some food and then hiding behind one of her friends.

"So, how long have you two known the princess?", asked Twilight, breaking the silence.

"Oh, uh about three years. We met her at a dance," lied Ego.

"You mean the Grand Galloping Gala?"

"Yeah, that." Jon responded instead.

"We got invited because we are huge internet celebrities.... That sounded really pretentious."

"Come on! You know we're used to being the funniest mother fuckers in the world!" Jon cheerfully chimed in.

"What the hay is an internet?" asked Applejack confused.

Both Ego and Jon remained silent, unable to respond further, they looked at each other, hoping that an answer would pop up. To their fortune, the sound of Spike running towards them caused the awkward atmosphere to clear as the group focused in the tired dragon.. "Give me a second," said a winded Spike. Finally catching his breath, a letter came bursting out of his mouth.

"Wow, he must have some serious indigestion problem," joked Ego."Anyway, what does it say, Twilight?" he asked with interest,

"Dear Twilight, I'm sure you are as interested as I am in the royal wedding..... Wedding?" she began, her eyes showing her confusion.

"Speaking of weddings, you and the goos have been engaged for how long?"

"Not now Jon, I'm listening." Jon huffed but stopped his rambling.

"I will be presiding over the wedding as usual, but I want you and your friends to help out with the wedding preparations. Fluttershy, I want you and your song bird choir to provide the music. Pinkie Pie, I can think of no one more qualified then you to plan the wedding reception. Applejack, you will be in charge of the catering. Rainbow Dash, I would love it if you performed a Sonic Rainboom as the bride and groom complete their vows. Rarity, you will be in charge of making the dresses for the bride and her bridesmaids. Jon and Arin, I want you two to assist the girls in their tasks however you can.
And you Twilight, will have the most important job of all, making sure everything goes according to plan. Hope to see you all very soon, yours truly, Princess Celestia."

"Sounds like fun, so, who is getting hitched?" Jon asked, while Twilight examined the letter, a look of confusion in her face.

"I don't know. It's doesn't say anything about who is getting married."

"Oh, I was probably supposed to give you this one first," said Spike sheepishly as he handed Twilight a second scroll.

"Dip shit," insulted Ego in a low voice.

"Princess Celestia cordially invites you the wedding of princess Mi Amore Cadenca and..." she stopped and gasped before reading the last two words. "... My brother."

"Plot device!" called out Jon, while Twilight ignored him, just standing there with a look of shock in her face.

"Tiny eyes, she has tiny eyes." Arin whispered to Jon, giggling slightly at a joke in his head.

"Your big brother is getting married. That' great news Twi!" congratulated her Applejack.

"Yeah, great. Great news that I got from a letter and not my own brother to tell me instead."

"Don't feel too bad, I have a estranged brother as well", said Ego.

"You do not!" yelled John.

"You got me!" both John and Ego shared a laugh. When they came back to reality they saw Twilight's friends gathered around her, all including Fluttershy, glaring at them menacingly, causing the two ex-humans to look away and whistle innocently.

"I'm sorry girls, but it's just that ever since I came to Ponyville, Shining and I have grown distant."

"You, have a lot of exposition to go through, how are you going to explain it?" Jon asked jokingly.

"In song?" Arin added, when suddenly, random background music could be inexplicably heard. "Oh look, I was right. Know what? I do- I don't even care, while she's singing,let's see what's in the basket."

"Okay!" both Jon and Ego walked over to the picnic basket, Jon unceremoniously putting his head in. "What's in there?" asked Arin from the outside.

"Okay, we got..... a TLC, tomato, lettuce, and cabbage. A cupcake-" Jon added before quickly eating the whole thing in one bite. "-some apples, I see a muffin wrap, but no muffin, weird-" he said,as a passing by gray pegasus appeared to be munching on something right over them. "-and balloons." He pulled out balloons, but accidentally let go of them. "Bye balloons."

"Dude, I don't hear any music, I think she's done," both Jon and Ego went back over to the girls after not finding anything good.

"So, what's going on?" asked Ego.

"Well, it looks like we're heading to Canterlot," responded a serious Twilight.
_________________________________________________________________________________________

The girls and the Grumps were soon on a train heading to Canterlot, they all quickly began to chatter away the whole trip, except for Twilight, who was looking out a window with a frown of disapproval on her face.

"It must be exiting for y'all to be back in Canterlot," Applejack's voice could be heard, having a conversation with the Grumps.

"What the hell are you talking abou-" said Jon as Ego elbowed him in the stomach. "-oh, I mean yeah, of course we're excited!" Rarity raised a brow and approached the pair.

"Um... You didn't tell me you two were from Canterlot," said Rarity.

"Oh yeah, we're 'canters' at heart," as the train got closer to the castle, they noticed a giant urple barrier around the castle. As they passed through it, Jon let out a shudder. "Eww, I feel violated. Is my virginity still there... Yeah, I think so."

"You're not a virgin, Jon."

"I WAS MAKING A JOKE ARIN." finally arriving, the group left the train just to find guards all over the train station.

"Jesus, overkill much on the guards," said Ego.

"You can never be too careful Arin. the weirdest caricatures can show up to these things," said Rarity as Pinkie sneezed out some confetti.

"Fair enough."

"You all go, I need to talk to my brother." Twilight began without notice.

"Have fun with that," said Jon.

"I will."

"Then good," the remaining seven ponies went ahead, as Twilight went off on her own. "So, what exactly should we do?" asked Jon excitedly looking around.

"Well, the winged marshmallow goddess said we should help the girls with the wedding preparations." reminded him Arin.

"Indeed I did," both slowly turned to see Princess Celestia standing there with a smile on her face. "I'm very glad to see you two decided to come and help us with the wedding."

"Well, it's not like we had a choice," complained Jon getting a slap from Arin for it.

"What he means to say is we're happy to help."

"I'm glad to hear that. I hope your stay here in Equestria is being a pleasant one."

"Oh yeah, I love living in a world were I can't have a giro."

"He means we're having fun."

"Glad to hear that, but I'm also here to warn you two. There's a reason there is so much security for the wedding. There has been a threat upon Canterlot, I don't know who it is, but I want you two to keep your wits about you, anypony could be trying to bring down the barrier as we speak..." she finished ominously.

"Don't worry, we defeat monsters on a daily bases." Arin quickly pointed out.

"Good to hear. Now, go to the castle's royal kitchen, I think Applejack can use your help with the catering."

"Yes masta." both responded, running off in the opposite direction, while Celestia gave off a small chuckle and flew back to the lookout tower.

After some wasted time, the two of them finally came across the kitchen where they saw Applejack and several other ponies already hard at work.

"Hey there, Applejack."

"Howdy there you two. Ya'll here to help with the food?"

"Exactly."

"Good, there are some aprons and hats over there. You two can work over in that section."

"I feel like I'm in a restaurant," said Ego as both of them trotted over to the section. Their task? Putting caramel on freshly made cookies.

"I have an idea, give me your hooves," said Jon as Ego put his hoofs up. "We can get work done faster if we can move faster." Jon used his magic to spread the caramel on both of their hooves. as soon as Ego put his hooves down he started to slip everywhere. Ego picked up a tray of cookies and tried to bring it over to Jon but instead crashed right into him, causing all the cookies to go flying. Ego slipped to the next tray and managed to get it on the counter just in time to slide into the wall. As he was about to get the next one, Jon took a spoon full of whipped topping and tossed it right at his face.

"Jon, I can't see!" said Ego as he slid right out to the area were Applejack was. He crashed directly into Twilight who was up against a pole at that moment. Ego regained his composure to see Twilight on the floor covered in powered sugar and caramel. "Sorry about that, we were having some trouble with the backed goods." he apologized, using his most welcoming voice.

"I love it when you do that." chuckled Jon.

"Why the hay are you two covered in sugar!?" asked Applejack, looking at the mess on the floor.

"That's part of the problem. We kinda got caramel on our hooves and started slipping all over the the place."

"How do you 'accidentally' get caramel on your hooves?" asked an angry Twilight as she wiped the sugar off of her face.

"Magic?" said Jon, grinning innocently.

"Seems legit."

Just then, Princess Cadence came in with a disapproving frown on her face. "I'll go talk to her, Twilight." offered Applejack, already making her way to the pink pony.

"Who's that?" asked Ego.

"That's Princess Cadence." irritably noted Twilight.

"She looks like a pretty pink princess."

"Two of those things are correct, anyway, she's a complete jerk. I don't understand how the sweetest foal sitter in the world can turn into such a-."

"A bitch?" said Jon.

"I'll assume that's an insult and say yes. I can't believe my brother would marry such a.... 'bitch', as you put it."

"Wait, so that's who your brother is getting hitched to? She looks like what the rest of you should look like, except bigger," said Ego.

"It does not add up, she was the sweetest foal sitter ever and she's acting like such a jerk."

"Is she Irish, and/or on her time of the month?" asked Jon.

"Time of the month? Do you mean her heat cycle? Why would that make her mean?" Twilight asked confused.

"Wait, a what cycle?" Twilight slowly turned to look at Jon, suspicion noticeable in her face.

"Okay, I want you two to come with me," gulping, the Grumps followed her into a secluded part of the gardens.

"Now, I want you to tell me the truth."

"What truth?" said Arin, his eyes shifting nervously.

"Look, I know that you two might be weird, but I know for a fact that both of you should know what a heat cycle is," both Jon and Arin began sweating as Twilight stared them down, unable to handle the pressure, Arin let it out.

"Okay, the truth is that neither of us are ponies. Actually, we're humans in disguise, courtesy of your Princess of the sun."

"Wait, you're both humans?" hesitantly asked Twilight with a serious look, that quickly, grew into a very big grin on her face.

"You two seem very trust worthy, but I don't believe either of you. I want you to prove it."

"How?", said Arin. Twilight made a book appear with her magic and flipped to a random page.

"Tell me a complete out of no were story from the humans." Arin thought for a second about what event in history to tell her about. He decided to talk about the Roman empire. After a lengthy talk, Twilight look through the book and went wide eyed.

"Oh my celestia, you really are humans!? This is absolutely incredible! Up until today, all books about humans were just myths and legends. I even remember one about how we were all created by a human turned alicorn!" Twilight continued in tangent.

"Well, I'm happy that you are happy, but you cannot tell anybo- I mean anypony about us being human." warned Arin.

"Of course, on one condition...... You tell me everything about your people."

"That sounds reasonable. When can we begin?" asked Arin.

"I'm heading off to see Rarity next, so how about now?" all three of them headed off to the part of the castle were Rarity was at, passing a few rushing ponies, to their luck, they were too busy to pay them any mind. "So first off, why don't you both tell me what your real names are?"

"Well, we weren't lying about our names..." said Ego.

"Really, do most humans have such strange names.?

"Well if names like the completionist, peanut butter gamer, and the nostalgia critic sound strange, then no because those are not real names."

"You humans have two names."

"No, it's an internet thing," when Twilight raised a confused brow, at that, Arin continued. "Basically, there's a giant invisible field of information where people can use it to do almost anything they want."

"Wow, you can access information when ever you want."

"Basically."

"Now I'm sad I don't have a cell phone," pouted Jon, when all of a sudden, all three of them heard a ringing sound coming from Ego's ass. He put his hoof down there and pulled a cell phone from a skin pocket. "Oh my god you have skin pockets, that's adorable." laughed Jon excitedly.

"Well sure, all ponies have pockets."

"Wow, I'm getting great reception here, and Wifi. How's that even possible."

"Magic?" said John.

"Makes sense."

"Who is it?" asked Jon.

"It's Barry, I'll let the voicemail get it."

"What is that thing anyway?" Twilight asked, confused at the object in Arin's hoof.

"It's a smartphone. It's basically a small library that you can fit into your pocket. It can hold thousands of songs I'll never listen to and apps I'll never use. and to top it all off this smartphone is also a phone, which basically, allows me to communicate over long distances."

"So wait, you can play songs without a record or performer?"

"Exactly."

"Can I listen to something?"

"Sure, hang on." Ego pulled out some earbuds that had somehow grown to fit in pony ears. "Put this in your ears", said Ego as Twilight used her magic to put them in. Ego pressed the play button on his phone.

"Who is this?" Twilight asked, jumping sligthly at the music.

"Adam Levine."

"Why is she yelling at me?"

"I don't know, but it's probably about him breaking up with a girl."

"Wait, this is a man, why is his voice so high?

"I don't know, someone chocked him a little to hard." The three of them reached the building were Rarity was making busy at work with the dresses.

"Hello you three."

"Hi Rarity, just checking on the dresses."

"Well, they're all done, what do you three think," asked a hopeful Rarity.
Do I look like a woman?" said Ego.

"Well I think they're beautiful Rarity," Twilight praised, glaring at him over his rudeness.

"Thank you Twilight, I hope Cadence thinks so too."
Don't count on it, she's on the rag," said Jon.

"Excuse me!?" all three of the ponies turned around to see a scowling Cadence.

"He said it." Jon quickly pointed his friend.

"Bullshit."

"Not that you three care, but I'm too busy to be worried with the likes of you," she said as she walked past them. "Are these the dresses?" she asked Rarity. As the three of them looked at them talking, Lyra went right up to Jon and started to look him over with a look of interest. Jon finally noticed and looked at her.

"What do you want, missy? You are kind of on my personal space."

"There's something about you I like. Me and my friend are going to be in town till the wedding is over, would you like to join us after the reception for a 'private' party?"

"Arin, Twilight, help?" Jon began in a high pitched voice.

"Uh, maybe we should head over and help Pinkie, let's go."

"You go, I wana see how this turns out," rolling her eyes, Twilight used her magic to grab both their tails and yanked them out of the room. Soon, the three of them were walking over to the main hall where Pinkie was setting up for the party. The hall was covered in streamers, games, balloons, and a music box.

"Hey there guys, what's up!"

"Hi there Pinkie, just checking in and seeing if you need help."

"Well, actually, I can't decide what board games to put out." As Twilight and Pinkie were talking, Jon and Ego were looking at the music box. Jon used his magic to give the thing a cord so they could plug Arin's phone in it. Twilight noticed and said,

"What are you two doing?"

"Experimenting," Jon pressed play and "Somebody that I used to know" came on.

"Oh, this sounds fun. What song is this I've never heard it before!" said Pinkie.

"It's somebody that I used to know by gotey."

"What other songs do you have on that thing?"

"Oh, quite a lot. Mostly because I get pressured into buying my music." The three of them were huddled around the music player when Cadence walked in.

"Is this where the reception is going to be held?"

"Yes it is Mrs. Cadenca."

"Then where is the planer for this party, I have some issues with this." she looked around to see three ponies huddled in a
corner around a music player. "Excuse me, which one of you is in charge of the reception."

"I am, Do you like it huhhuhuhuh."

"Sure, if we were little kids."

"Thank you."

"And what is that horrible music playing."

"It's the Black Eyed Peas," said Jon

"I don't think that would go over well at a party, except for maybe I got a feeling, Try some Florida's I cry." Arin intervened.

"You will be trying nothing, turn the music player off. If I come in here tomorrow and I hear any music you are both off the planing committee," she said as she walked off.

"What an ass cock," Jon pouted, disconnecting the phone from the machine.

"Are you saying she has a dick up her ass?" Arin pointed out incredulously.

"She acts like it," Twilight walked by them with and angry look. "Where are you going?"

"I'm going to go talk some sense into my brother."

"Have fun with that, we're going to be around Canterlot and explore the sights," Twilight continued to walk away as Jon and ego walked around the now dark streets of Canterlot.

The streets that were once filled with ponies of many shaped and colors was now dark and mostly abandoned, the only lights were from street lights and buildings.

"You know, if there weren't so many snobby bitches, I could see myself living here."

"I hope you're not referring to me,"the Grumps stopped in their tracks at the sound of the voice, and turned around to find none other then Luna.

"Oh, it's you."

"And you two are the humans that Tia turned into ponies."

"What are you even doing here."

"As the princess of the night, it's my job to watch over the ponies, and since we didn't get a chance to talk, I'll be watching over you two." Ego had a very wide grin on his face as Jon just looked at him.

"Well okay then, but I think it may just be you and me because I think Arin is out of it."

"NO I'M NOT, I mean I'm fine."

"Then walk with me," said Luna as the three of them walked down the street.

The Grumps explained who they were and how they got to this world. They talked about the internet, cars, fast food, and video games. Luna actually showed a great interest in these 'video games'. Before they could talk more, they saw Twilight running towards them.

"Jon, Arin, we have a problem." said Twilight in ragged breaths.

"I need to get back to the watchtower anyway, see you two later," Luna flied away.

"Thanks for horn blocking me Twilight."

"Wait,, what? Ugh, whatever! Guys we have a problem. Cadence is not who she says she is, I saw her blast my brother with a beam that made his eyes do this," said Twilight as she started to roll her eyes around.

"She gave him goggly eyes?" said Ego.

"He is under mind control. Tomorrow all three of us are going to stand up to her and get rid of her."

"Eh, I'm in, let's kick her right in the head and ass!" Arin yelled.

"Yeah, right in the head and ass." the three of them ran off to the hotel so they could sleep up for tomorrow.
___________________________________________________________________________________
"HOW COULD YOU FORGET TO SET AN ALARM," said a running Jon.

"I MAKE MONEY OFF THE INTERNET, I DON'T WAKE UP TILL NOON," still arguing, the pair finally reached the wedding rehearsal to help Twilight. When they got there all of the ponies were already walking out with a look of disappointment. Including the Princess. "Something tells me we missed some shit going down."

"Now I'm gonna be lost in the story," the grumps went in to see a sobbing Twilight. Twilight looked up to see them and wrapped herself around Jon for comfort and started sobbing into his coat. "What happened?"

"If I had to guess, I'd say she tried to expose Cadence and it backfired so now all of her friends, brother , and mentor disowned her....... But that's just a guess."

"T-that's exactly what happened." Twilight said through sobs.

"I guess I called it."

"Why weren't you two here? I needed help!"

"We're sorry, someone didn't set an alarm."

"How many times are you going to bring this up?" groaned Arin, annoyed.

"Now thanks to what I did, my friends, Celestia , and my only big brother now hate me."

"We really did miss a lot, but at least I'm caught up now." seemingly out of nowhere, Cadence walked in and started to pat Twilight on the head.

"Cadence, I'm so sorry for what I did," just then, her eyes glowed green for a second and she said. "You will be." A ring of pure fire formed around the three of them.

"Oh god, not again." Jon yelled in fear.

"Why do portals consistently try to rape us." Arin groaned more annoyed than anything.
The three of them were consumed by fire and disappeared, as Cadence walked away with a evil smile on her face.e.

To be continued in part 2

Comments

[Dunsparce]

WHAT IS THIS?
WHAT IS THIS?
WHAT IS MY LIFE?

[DEAR GOD IT HURTS SP MCI]

Amazing job! Can't wait for the next chapter!

[The Well Dressed Ninja]

2516877 Your doing it wrong.

[Ecstatic-Pyro]

I swear to the all powerful gaming deity known as Grant Kirkhope, you better not abandon this story!!
There are are far too few Game Grumps stories on here, and gosh dammit, I will not sit back and watch as another possible masterpiece falls into the Pits of Despair and Failure and becomes a written version of Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts n' Bolts!!!
Please, do NOT ABANDON this wonderful story!!!
(Also, possible Barry breaking the Fourth-Wall and helping the Game Grumps sometimes?)

[Ecstatic-Pyro]

3117765
Yes!! Someone who agrees with me!!
Please, keep this story going!!

[The watchful pony]

3117765 Don't worry I'm still working on it.

[Race9000]

This story is only missing one thing. Barry. Get him in here now. With like, epic editing powers or something. Then have him save the wedding.

[Taxes]

I wonder what would happen if steam train and vanilla game grumps came together to fight the pink bitch yes I can see it being played out please make that happen

[Pecan Crisp]

Just gonna leave this here..

[The watchful pony]

3200806 Well let's just say stay tuned *wink wink*.

[dashie76]

Just fix the grammatical errors and this story will be perfect.Keep up the good work, it's already awesome!

[MrNoWaves]

Edit that out Barry.

[The Gamer Master Archive]

5668788 OKAY.