The Experiments

by SapphireRose87

19) Discord the Pest

{Henry}

“It’s about time you two got done with your ‘mating,’” said Discord. “God Henry, do you even know what the word ‘mating’ means?”

We just had to run into Discord after Derek and I left the tent that we were in.

“Excuse me?” I said.

When Derek heard this, he cracked up. “I think I should leave you two alone for the ‘father and son’ talk!”

“He’s not my dad!” I said. Then paused. “Or at least I hope he’s not!”

I couldn’t grab Derek to strangle him fast enough before he ran away, laughing as he did.

“You’re not my dad, Discord,” I said, “so I really don’t need this right now!”

“Actually, technically I am…” Discord replied.

I backed away from him, a feeling of terror going through me. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m your godfather!” Discord said with joy. “Your parents named me for the job! Hurray!”

“Seriously?” I blinked, not believing a word Discord said.

“Oh, yes, believe me,” said Discord. “Now, how should I explain it… I wish I had Fluttershy with me to tie you to a chair!”

“I think I’ve had enough of being tied up to things! I’m good!” I snarled. “And, yes, I know what the term mating means, you idiot!”

Discord had a grin on his face that was so big that I’m surprised it fit inside In Between. “Who told you?”

“If you must know,” I said, “Derek told me!”

“And why would he do that?” Discord asked.

“Probably because he picked up on how confused I was after the first time!” I said.

Discord snorted. “I never thought Child Derek, who became Agent Derek, and now God Derek, would give someone a lesson on sex education!”

I gritted my teeth. “I’m going to find a way to kill you one day!”

“Nope!” Discord said. He shook his head. “Not possible! I’m a demigod! Duh!”

“Well then,” I said, “I’ll find some way to send myself into the afterlife instead!”

Discord fell over laughing again. “That’s not possible either! Oh well..”

I could feel heat coming from my face. Discord got a real kick out of it. “That’s so cute!” he said. “You’re turning red! Okay, I’ve done my fatherly duties, so I’m out of here!”

I could feel my anger rising to a boil as Discord snapped his claw and disappeared, but not before having a good laugh at my expense.

* * *

{Cora}

After I was given a video of Experiment Henry and Experiment Derek completing the God Challenge, I snickered. “A god? I don’t believe it! Experiment Henry, a god?”

Eleanor looked like she was trying hard not to roll her eyes. “Did you watch the same video I did, Head Cora?”

“Yeah, I watched it!” I snapped. “I still don’t believe it! However, when Experiment Henry and Experiment Derek get here, I have three trump cards up my sleeve to capture them!”

Eleanor raised an eyebrow. “Three?”

“Yes, Eleanor, three!” I snapped. “First of all, Experiment Henry will want his voice box back. Second, the incentive to kill me should be enough for him to come here! Third, I’m going to be fighting side by side with Experiment Rose and Experiment Sebastian. We should be able to capture them in three minutes, tops!”

Eleanor coughed and I looked at her in annoyance. “What, Eleanor?”

“As far as Experiment Henry wanting his voice box back,” said Eleanor, “that’s not going to be a trump card.”

“And why not?” I demanded.

“His voice box is missing from the vault,” Eleanor answered.

“What?”

“Yeah, I think Experiment Henry might’ve stolen it back,” she said, trying not to laugh.

“Don’t you laugh at me, Eleanor!” I snapped.

She smirked. “I was laughing?” She seemed to be having the best of times. “If I was, I’m sorry, Head Cora!”

“How dare you, Eleanor!” I snarled. “Stop taunting me! You seem to be at odds with what I have planned. What are you thinking?”

“I was thinking,” said Eleanor, “as far as fighting alongside Experiment Rose and Experiment Sebastian, I have my doubts about how fast you three can capture him.”

“And why do you think that?” I growled.

“Because Henry is a god now.”

“His name is Experiment Henry!” I sneered. “That’s what his name is and that’s what he’ll always be called!”

Eleanor smirked again. “Face it, Head Cora, you don’t like it when anyone has more power than you!”

I fired my gun in the air, as I had done in anger so many times before, and it made her jump at the sound.

“What was that, Eleanor?” I growled.

She had recovered enough to roll her eyes. “Seriously, Head Cora, why did you turn Experiment Henry into the strongest experiment you’ve ever made? Not to mention, you didn’t add anything to make him grow weak enough to catch him? Not even Experiment Ada could kill him!”

I fired my gun in the air and Eleanor jumped again.

“Oh, no way for me to catch Experiment Henry again, huh?” I asked. “Actually, we do have something for that!”

Eleanor rolled her eyes again. “And what might that be?”

“The Surge Projector boxes!” I said, matter of factly.

“And that’s going to help how?” Eleanor asked, raising an eyebrow. “You do realize that it was very difficult to flatline him. Even Agent Jade Summers had a hard time doing so! He just knocked Experiment Henry out and you know it! Not to mention, when you threatened to do that to Experiment Henry’s face, that was a bluff, wasn’t it?”

“If a recall correctly,” I said, “we had no trouble flatlining Experiment Henry when we did Experiment #1!”

Eleanor snapped. “That was right after you stole Experiment Henry from his crib!”

“Don’t you take that tone with me, Eleanor!” I scolded.

“Or you’ll do what? Put me in front of the firing squad? I’d rather be killed than continue this circus!”

“But,” I said, “I need someone to take over for me after I’m dead! And you’re the only person that can do that!”

She snarled at me. “If I take over after you die then mark my words, Head Cora! I will help God Henry and God Derek destroy your precious Lab 14! And release all of your experiments so they finally go back home! The children that have grown up here don’t belong here and you know it!”

Eleanor didn’t say another word. She just stormed off.

* * *

{Princess Luna}

I paced back and forth as I watched the video of Experiment Henry and someone called Derek complete the God Challenge.

“Drat!” I said. I stomped a hoof on the ground. “I wish Willow and Ada were here. I bet Ada is having fun with the other experiments until she gets to Experiment Henry! Now that Experiment Henry’s chopped down a tree here and this Derek person drilled a hole into the stump, it’ll be even more difficult to capture him! I was so hoping I’d get a chance to meet Experiment Henry and pick his brain, so to speak. I doubt Ada will be able to kill him now. And I wouldn’t be surprised if Discord is in heaven right now!”

As if on cue, I heard Discord say, “Well, if it isn’t the lovely Nightmara!”

“Nightmara?” I repeated. "You know I only turned into Nightmare Moon once, right?"

Discord rolled his eyes. “Oh, yes, I know that. I’m coming up with wicked names for you heads of your stupid labs!”

“And why are you doing that?” I asked.

“Because I’m just having fun taunting you until God Henry and God Derek arrive!” Discord cheered. “And it’s so much fun! I was wondering, did you watch God Henry and God Derek’s video of their fifteen minutes of fame?”

I growled at Discord. “Yes, I did! You told me that Group A was eaten by those tracker cats! And now I was given a video of Experiment Henry chopping down a tree- two trees, as a matter of fact, and here of all places! And this Derek guy drilling holes on top of that! You’re a liar!” I practically snarled the last sentence.

Discord laughed wickedly. “Yeah, I am! I think I would make a convincing actor. Maybe I should try my hand in show business? As matter of fact, I was at the first God Con where all the gods saw the vision of the future. In the vision, all of the gods saw the gods that would rule In Between! And they have arrived! Hurray! Oh, happy day! Isn’t there a song about stuff like this? I don’t know if there is and I don’t care!” He paused. “You’re worried now, aren’t you?”

“And why would you think that?” I asked.

“Because you’re watching the video again!” Discord taunted, pointing his eagle claw at the TV on the main computer.

I hadn’t realized that I had rewound the video and was watching it again. I didn’t know how many times I had done that. My ears went flat against my head and I snarled at him. “Discord!”

He started laughing, annoying me, as I rewound the video and played it once again.

“This isn’t stand-up comedy night!” I snapped.

“Oh, it is,” said Discord, still laughing in between his words, “considering it’s nighttime and I’m laughing. And normally people laugh at a joke. I’m glad God Henry doesn’t have to keep his day job anymore! God Henry and God Derek, those are their titles now. The jokes on you this time!” He gave me a wicked smile. “I so wished my powers worked at night, but in any case, God Henry's next show will be when he comes to kill you!”

“That’s not funny!” I growled.

“What are you going to do about it? I’d like to know the answer to that question,” Discord taunted me again.

“Fine! You want me to do something about you? Then take this!” I said. I lit up my and aimed my magic at Discord and all he had to do was step to the side to dodge it. He fell over laughing again but still saw my next attack coming and dodged it the same way.

“Since your powers don’t work at night,” I said, “then I should be able to kill you!”

Discord smiled. “Oh, I’d like to see you try! I’ll stand still for you this time. This will probably tickle at most!”

True to his word, Discord stood still for me to fire my next attack. I smiled. This attack had worked like a charm every time before when dealing with a tricky spirit that will not just go away. I’d had that happen a lot to me back in Equestria. I’d had the duty of watching the night there. The spirits of the dead ponies and other creatures not yet crossed over just loved to come out and play.

Discord smirked, annoyed with me. “Well, Nightmara, I’m waiting! Sometime tonight would be nice!”

“Oh, it’ll be tonight alright!” I growled. I concentrated as I built up my magic for the attack. Once I was ready, I hit Discord with my attack at full power. My attack didn’t even put a scratch on him, let alone send him into the portal that the attack opened meant to send him into the afterlife. My jaw dropped.

“Aww, what’s the matter, Nightmara?” Discord asked, giving me puppy dog eyes. “Did you think that little baby attack would work? I think the feeling from that was nothing! Well, it did tickle, like I said before. The gods that will rule In Between have arrived!”

I knew what Discord was getting ready to do because of the way he was behaving at the moment. I gasped. “Wait, but I thought your powers didn’t work at night!”

“Oh, they don’t,” said Discord. “Just look out the window, it's daylight now!”

I looked out the window only to see that he was correct as the light filled the room. “But how did you know that?”

Discord smirked. “I made it a point to visit you just before dawn, although, there isn’t really a sun, is there? Oh well…”

I stared at Discord in shock as he snapped his claw and faded into the background, laughing.

* * *

{Princess Celestia}

I paced back and forth watching the video for how many times, I didn’t know. Of course, Discord just had to pop in at a time like this. My ears went flat against my head when I heard him. “Discord! What do you want?”

Discord rolled his eyes. “That disrespect again?”

“I mean it, Discord!” I said.

“No,” said Discord. “What do you want? But I should make an introduction- if it isn’t the lovely Daybreaka!”

“Daybreaka? Seriously!” I snarled.

“You look worried about when God Henry and God Derek come to kill you!” Discord said, taunting me.

“And why do you think that?” I asked.

“Because you’re just like Nightmara!” Discord replied. “You keep rewinding and watching that video over and over again! You just did it again!”

I hadn’t realized it but what he said was correct. I rewound the video and watched it again. Discord fell over on the ground laughing at me.

“Discord!” I snarled. “I’m not calling Henry a god! No way in the In Between am I going to call Henry god ever!”

Discord smiled a wicked smile, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. My ears went flat against my head again as I snarled.

“You’ll be calling Henry a god, alright! Those will probably be your last words to him, with your last breath! I look forward to it!” Discord snapped his claw, making it a point to laugh as he faded into the background.

* * *

{Henry}

Derek and I were still trying to come up with a plan to take down Lab 14 when we heard Discord clear his throat. I bit the inside of my cheek before exhaling slowly. “You just can’t help yourself, can you, Discord?”

“What?” He asked, crossing his arms. “I just so happened to be in the neighborhood and wanted to say hi!”

“In case you didn’t notice,” Derek snapped, “we’re trying to figure out a way to take down Lab 14! So if you don’t mind…”

“You guys always want to get rid of me, like you did back at the Inn by making out every time I popped up!” Discord fake sobbed.

“You know, you really are a pest!” We heard Leader Felix say. Derek and I snickered. Discord, on the other hand, looked annoyed, probably because we were laughing at him this time.

“I’m not a pest!” Discord pouted as if he were a two-year-old.

“Whatever,” Leader Felix said. “Anyway, I think this might help as far as taking Lab 14.”

Leader Felix then brought out a small box that looked a lot like the one that Derek had used to help lead us to the Resistance. When he pressed the button on the top of it, there was a holographic screen that popped up with different color dots on it. Because of being color blind, the dots looked yellow, white, and blue to me. I looked at the map and tilted my head in confusion.

“What’s wrong?” Derek asked.

“Are some of the dots on that screen white?” I said. “I can see them somewhat but it’s not very clear.”

“Yeah, that’s right,” said Derek. “Dad told me that you were color blind!”

“Interesting,” said Leader Felix. “A color-blind god is news to me!”

“Maybe it’ll go away?” Derek suggested.

“Yeah, and maybe the eye that you have the glass eye in will grow back?” I questioned.

“I don’t think so!” Discord said in a sing-song voice.

“What are you talking about, Discord?” I asked.

“Every god that pops up has one limitation to their powers,” said Discord. “No one knows why that happens either. Just like you have color blindness, God Henry, you’ve found a way to deal with it already.”

“What do you mean by that?” I asked.

“You ask people what the colors are, stupid!” Discord said.

“Okay, Discord,” I snarled. “Don’t call me stupid!”

“Okay, okay,” said Discord. “And as far as your glass eye, God Derek, you’ve found a way to deal with it too.”

“Huh?” Derek paused.

“Your magic transfer! Duh!” Discord replied.

“Exactly what is he talking about, Derek?” I asked.

“Oh, yeah,” said Derek. “I didn’t want to show you because I didn’t want to send you into Fear Shock again!”

Leader Felix narrowed his eyes. “Did I just hear you correctly? Did you just say God Henry went into Fear Shock at one point?”

“Yes sir…” Derek said, looking down at the ground.

Leader Felix tried not to look pissed when he heard this news. Derek kept looking down at the ground as if he were a bad little kid that disappointed his father.

“When did it happen, God Derek?” Leader Felix asked.

Derek sighed. “It happened a little bit after we met up with Agents Snips and Agent Snails.”

“Do you remember when it happened, God Henry?” Leader Felix asked me.

“Not really,” I said, scratching my head. “I just remember passing out right after we met up with Snips and Snails. I also remember feeling really sick before that. I wasn't sleeping because of the bad memories that I was having about growing up at Lab 14!”

Leader Felix did not look happy at all. “That’s the first sign of someone getting ready to go into Fear Shock,” he said, frowning. “How those two idiots didn’t recognize it is beyond me. I’ll deal with them later when I confirm this with the other kids, just to be sure. It’s not that I don’t trust you two but your word alone doesn’t give me grounds to discipline them. Anyway, what were you saying about God Derek’s magic transfer, Discord?”

“Oh, yeah!” Discord said. “God Derek can transfer his magic from his real eye to his glass eye! You should show God Henry now, the Fear Shock won’t happen again! Go ahead, show him. Why don’t you start with the owl eye first! That’s the creepiest attack that your father taught you!”

“Fine…” Derek said. I could tell he really didn’t want to show me. It always amazes me how overprotective he can be towards me sometimes. Derek closed his eyes and when he opened them again both eyes looked completely different. He then proceeded to turn his head behind him. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up.

“Dude,” I said. “That’s creepy!”

“Yup!” Discord agreed with a small nod. “I’ve seen Earnest do that plenty of times! It still creeps me out!”

Derek and I couldn’t help ourselves. The fact that the Discord, the Lord of Chaos, is creeped out by something was way too funny.

“Okay, kids,” said Discord. “Stop laughing at me!”

“We’re not kids!” Derek and I snapped. I think Derek had just about enough of Discord for one day and I didn’t blame him at all. He looked like he was about ready to tackle Discord just like he did with Sarah.

Discord smiled an evil smile and took the opportunity to push Derek over the edge.

“Oh, I’m sorry!” Discord said, rolling his r’s as if he were speaking in a foreign language. “I forgot you were a demigod before you drilled a hole into a tree stump! My bad!”

That was the last straw for Derek. He charged at Discord at full speed. Leader Felix and I knew Derek was not going to be able to tackle Discord because he would do a teleportation spell and Derek would probably run into the tent. That’s exactly what happened. As soon as Derek even got close, Discord did a teleportation spell and disappeared. Derek ran into the tent, almost collapsing it in the process. Leader Felix and I couldn’t hold our laughter in, even if we had wanted to.

“Okay, guys,” said Leader Felix. “Let’s stop the funny business and get down to the real business. Discord and God Derek, knock it off!”

“Fine!” they said.

Leader Felix then turned our attention to the map, pointing to several areas. “These dots represent the different locations where each lab has set up shop.”

“I’m almost afraid to ask this,” I said, “but how many locations are there for each lab?”

Discord smiled like someone had set up a joke and he couldn’t wait to deliver the punchline.

“Can I say it, please?” he begged.

Leader Felix, sounding annoyed with Discord, allowed it. “Fine, go ahead…”

Discord snapped his claw. Behind him appeared a huge chalkboard, like one that Lab 14 would use to teach the experiments that were growing up there something important. Discord then took a piece of chalk and wrote the number fourteen on it as big as he could.

“As you can see by the number on this chalkboard here,” Discord said, “there are fourteen locations for each of the labs that are set up here! Ta-da!”

Leader Felix facepalmed, groaning., “Yup, that confirms it! You really are the definition of the word 'pest,' Discord!”